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  1. #1
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    FEEDBACK - DEFtv #57 - ANNNND WE'RE BACK!

    http://www.defiancewrestling.com/results/107


    FEED THE MUDDA FUGGA BACK, YALL!

    Also, don't fret trying to feedback the whole show point by point, just participate in the process and I'll be happy enough with that. Discussion and sharing opinions and ideas is what will make our work better, so lets get to it.

    Furthermore, Happy Black Friday in advance to everyone celebrating this week with friends and family in the MURCAS most cherished past time... Shopping for $20 Blu Ray players at 5 in the morning.

    GO GIT DAT LOOT!

    Seriously though, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, Happy Holidays and all of that as well.

    Now FEEDBACK PLZ!
    I'm a Fig Newton of Your Imagination.


    DEFIANCE WRESTLING ~ Stand up. Defy.
    * Dusty Griffith: the Unbreakable Pillar of DEFIANCE
    * Tyrone Walker: the Ol' Man River of DEFIANCE

    RED LINE WRESTLING
    * El Habanero



    GOOGLE DRIVE ~ jmsnrs716 @ gmail . com
    GOT A DOC, NEED A INVITE, SEND TO ABOVE

  2. #2
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #57 - ANNNND WE'RE BACK!

    Opener - Like I told Damien, perfect length. It didn't ramble on or make the same point twice. The "Endboss of DEFIANCE" hits another home run with this one.

    - I like how slick the elder Keeling is / I love how you've done what WWE can never seem to do EVER which is keep a group/team together and still give one member a singles push without having the group "explode" beforehand. I'm so glad Team HOSS is back in the sandbox.

    - The way Sharp/Hoffman was recap but sort of bled into a written out ending/transition into the next seg was clever. Good match. It's awesome to see people picking up the ball and running with it in regards to the NPC characters we've introduced this last arc or so. It's definitely made the roster feel deeper.

    - The second HOSS seg, super solid promo. I like the weird little rivalry we're all collectively building between Christie and Lance, scooping one another. DEFIANCE should sell "Team Warner" and "Team Zane" t-shirts. Classic backstage promo, built tension. I love where Dusty the character is now, this wildcard with a chip on his shoulder and something to prove. Great story to tell.

    - Harmony and Chance will be pure gold. One little quibble, take a little more time on the descriptive text. Beef it up just a liiiitle bit. You're dialogue is sport on, but paint a clearer picture of Chance and what a lecherous douche he even LOOKS like. Otherwise, mega excited to see where this goes. Gross Rick Rude is back baybay!

    - I like stripped down fire obsessed Donovan a LOT more than Hardy Donovan. Keep building and experimenting, keep exploring new territory. You've got a tenured character with a lot of history, but he's also now kind of a blank slate, lots of really interesting things can be done with a character like that going into the next few arcs.

    - Same jazz I said about the cVc / Harmoney seg, beef up the descriptive text, especially with such a visually imposing character. I'm interested to see where you go with Omega, I like the idea of a big "evil" heel monster on the roster again. I think if you're smart with Omega's booking and tell the right stories he could be a big big part of the over-all "DEF arc" going into the future. Just remember, if your character isn't going to say a lot, you gotta' really bring it with describing those surroundings, the mood, when he pulls his hoodie back describe how the missing eye looks, how scarred it is, the particular things about Troy and the people in the hallway he's glowering at... really get across what a terrifying CREEP this guy is.

    - 'Ata girl, Blue. See, right here, Jake said next to nothing but the bracketed text is beefed up so it feels more substantial. Good seg.

    - The mystery of Henry Keyes continues. The more weird little details we get about how Keyes operates outside of wrestling only makes him that much more compelling. I hope it's all never made completely clear. Even if we get more "big reveals" like the zeppelin at the PPV, I like how his whole life is covered in a proverbial (and in the case of the zeplin, literal) fog. Just keep doing what you're doing, brother. Keyes can't lose in my book. Just promise when Box has a clearer schedule you and I can do something. Box / Keyes is too obvious an angle. Stick around sir, and we'll dance.

    - This is the perfect "recapped" format right here. Big chunky descriptive blocks with just enough announcer patter to break it up. Another great utilization of a BRAZEN character. Wolfe is one of James' and I believe he has some plans for him moving forward. Very very excite.

    - Sunshine and Title Shots was me and Dames. Eugene and Box are like Austin and Triple H when they were the Two Man Power Trip, it was awesome that they were together... but in the end, they're better enemies. I can't tell you how much I love the history Damien and I have gotten to build between these two characters. Such a fun rewarding creative pursuit/experience.

    - I've seen the plan for Penn/Booya... love every bit of it. Can't WAIT to see this SOHER angle play out this arc. *thumbs up*

    - Griffith/Gore. Proof you can get someone over even in recap format. More good character building for Griffith, post humbling he'll end up more of "the heart of DEFIANCE" than he ever could have been as the unbeatable champion. This sort of character progression is why angled fed > RP fed.

    - I love this sort of transitional "life backstage" seg. Aleczander's character is jumping off the page, good job on that account dude. I know exactly who this guy is the second he opens his mouth. Kudos for the accent work too, I know how much of a pain in the arse that shite can become. He and Booya bro'ing out was classic / I like logical alliances between similarly motivated heels. Smart booking / great world building.

    - The Tommy Dreamer of DEFIANCE eats a loss and continues the trend tonight of Team HOSS completely establishing themselves as a top level main event heel unit. Good short match packed with storyline.

    - Once again Lindz and Brunk with the best back and forth dialogue in the whole fed. LT / Ryan stuff the last few arcs have been so sharp and so well done. Kudos guys, as always. My segment of the show, right here.

    - Bulges was me.

    - Welcome to the fold Colton Thorpe, if ya' want to do a rando backstage face to face with Box at some point hit me up. Well done main event, fantastic debut for a killer new character, Penn/Jon continues to just straight up kill it with the SOHER title... lorved every line guys, good job.


    Great show, the new faces were utilized well, lots of NPC's used super effectively. 58 here we come! I'm really really excited for the next couple cards.



    -
    I also have creative input in: Felton Bigsby, Viking War Cult, Don Hollywood, MDM4 and a few others... #BRAZEN

  3. #3
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #57 - ANNNND WE'RE BACK!

    --I love that there's an endgame for the Endboss of DEFIANCE and the celebration to kick off the show was great. Two years is a fucking amazing goal in eW no matter how you slice it. I just want to see Eugene's ego just get even more fucking giddy and ridiculous as the two-year mark draws near.

    --Won't comment on my own stuff other than saying I hope you all really enjoy it.

    --Harmony/cVc is a thing that needs happening and I'm glad it is! So glad to see cVc back and I'm looking forward to seeing where this feud goes.

    --Evan is right - fire-obsessed Jake Donovan is a great gimmick and I love to see that Blue is running with it - Donovan is such a creep in the best possible way. Bonus points if you give him moves called Backdraft or the Hotstreak. Bad fire puns all around! On the flip side, Natas coming back out-of-shape is a pretty unique story. I know where this one is going and it will be fun to see this unfold.

    --Henry Keyes and his amazing handshake, hahaha. This was fun and we all need more Henry Keyes in our life.

    --Really tense segment with Box and Eugene, but I love how neither man really backed away from the fact that someday, they'll end up doing battle for the FIST of DEFIANCE again. Great, great segwork as always by Evan and Damien.

    --Poor, poor Penn, having to rely on Jonny Booya... yikes (Side note: REALLY looking forward to the new Curtis Penn Invitationals.

    --Good debut for Ajax Gore, even in defeat. I love the look of the character and think there is definitely potential with it. I like Dusty's direction as being the veteran of the division that all young guys will look to raise thier stock against. Unrelated side note: I think it'd be cool to maybe do a segment or some RP piece with Sharp and Gore (Sharp helping a fellow Canuckistanian... Canuckistani? Mother Canucker?)

    --Holy shit, Ryan/Troy was great tension there. I hope to one day see this as a full-blown feud for the FIST of DEFIANCE... this would be damn epic.

    --Great way to debut for Colton Thorpe, who comes off like a badass, practically having the SoHer won, if not for a panicky Penn. The character looks like a great addition to an already stacked roster. I will also mark for anybody using Masato Tanaka's Sliding D as a finisher.

    --As an aside, I wanted to say I really liked how the summary matches were written on this card. The action (to me, anyway) came off more enjoyable than the last few non-PPV cards (not that they were bad, but I liked what was here this week) so great job to all. I, like Eva, am looking forward to see all these stories unfold.
    Team HOSS - DEFIANCE
    The Heirs of Wrestling, Sarah Winterton, Jeremy Ryan - jOlt Wrestling

  4. #4
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #57 - ANNNND WE'RE BACK!

    70 days

    This is mine.

    On One Condition
    I’m liking Thomas Keeling Sr. he seems a lot more serious and potentially a lot more sinister than his son, which could lead for a nice dynamic going forwards if that translates to Team HOSS. Kelly however seemed to flip flop in this segment between wanting HOSS in DEFIANCE and not wanting anything to do with them. Personally I’d have had Kelly make it much clearer that she personally didn’t want anything to do with HOSS, but she can’t deny that they’re a draw. Also I’d have had her have more confidence in Ty by saying “when he beats you” rather than “if”. That’s just a minor detail though.

    Andy Sharp vs. Reinhardt Hoffmann
    Digging the seamless transition between summary and promo. I think we can all learn from that. As for the contents of the promo, I kind of dug that less. I don’t know what it is, I’m trying to work it out, but I think Andy’s lines didn’t sound like a person sounds when they talk. “I’d like to eventually be champion someday” just doesn’t sound like a sentence when read aloud, even when it is. Also, that line makes him sound like he wants the title, but he’ll wait in line, while in the next breath he says with confidence that when he gets the shot he’ll take the title from Penn and he doesn’t want to wait around for it.

    Been There, Beat That
    I’ve always enjoyed Aleczander’s lines. Seth’s got the British insults down to a T and they’re not overused either, which is nice. I’m also interested in the slight gimmick changes for Angel and Aleczander. HOSS going forward are going to be very welcome returns in my book.

    Inequality
    Chance Von Crank is also a welcome return, although I really hope Dan keeps him realistic and grounded. cVc can be such a good character and is genuinely unlikeable but interesting enough to keep you reading. He’s a genuine heel, and that’s so rare in efedding because you get so many people that want their guys to be absolute assholes, but they’re so cool they get cheers, or they want their characters to be bad in a way that if they faced another heel they could easily work as a face. cVc is heel all the way through, and this obvious feud with Harmony is such a good fit for him.

    Jake Donovan vs. Jason Natas
    A serious night of returns. I know the name, but the character of Jason Natas doesn’t immediately spring to mind, so it would have been nice to get a little reminder of his character out before the match started. The match itself was fine, and I’m really liking the changes made to Donovan. He’s far from my favourite of Blue’s characters that I’ve seen, but this whole pyromaniac thing he’s got going on bumps him up quite a bit.

    Prey - Part 1
    I can also see Omega being a big part of DEFIANCE going forwards, which I think a lot of people can. I won’t echo, Evan here, but I agree with everything he said. Embellishment would have gone a long way here.

    Getting Personal
    Keep this up, Blue. Seriously. Jake has always, and I really do mean always, been a Troy Matthews sort of character. One that’s there, and we all know is there, but never got over because there’s just not been enough of a character there. Keep developing Jake and he could easily become something great.

    Prove It
    This felt very, very 4th wall breaking, which when it’s actually masked in context is a nice little feature to be able to slip in. I really hope Keyes can do something special, because he’s such an interesting character that’s been around for what feels like a long time, but he’s not really done much. I know nothing about him, but I feel like I know him… know what I mean?

    Harmony vs. Howlin’ Joe Wolfe
    Another good summary match. The format of all three summarized matches have been different so far though, so I can see why James wants to make them more uniform. Chance has always been very vocal, so I’m surprised he wasn’t more… boisterous when he came down to the ring. Maybe mentioning how he was mocking her could have done that. Leading a sarcastic chant of ‘Har-mo-ny’ or something, you know?

    Sunshine & Title Shots
    Evan did the leg work, I tidied up Eugene’s lines. Couldn’t be happier with what Evan has done here though.

    So, Here’s the Deal, Curtis
    I think Curtis came round to the idea of Booya being in control of his title far too quickly. Other than that this was a decent segment that puts a nice twist on things. Looking forward to seeing where it goes.

    Dusty Griffith vs. Ajax Gore
    Good match. But, even if James argues it, there is absolutely no way that Ajax should have kicked out of the Atomic Powerbomb and nobody could ever convince me otherwise. Kicking out of finishers is a big match thing, not a debut TV match thing. It might be unexpected, but it just shouldn’t happen.

    When Hans Met Franz And They Pumped.. Each Other Up?!
    This is the best segment of the night simply for using the word ‘todger’. The dialogue actually made me question whether HOSS and Booya were aligned at one point, which I don’t recall.

    Angel Trinidad vs Tyrone Walker
    Yet another good match. We’ve not had any that I’ve found to be bad tonight, which is really nice. Angel is going to be a big player in DEFIANCE if he continues down this road, and the Old Man River of DEFIANCE never seems to be hurt taking a loss, so that’s good.

    Family Matters (Did We Do That?)
    This is pretty damn late for Ryan to be turning up. I get that’s addressed at the start of the segment, but surely this sort of segment should, at the latest, be midway through the show, not right before the main event. It sort of begs the question why would Ryan turn up at all. Other than that, I love this. Dan and LT have such a chemistry together and it shines through every single time they appear together. This segment right here gives us so much to work off of going forwards. I can’t wait for the next few shows.

    Bulges
    Love it. The right mix of comedy and seriousness. Seriously, this arc is gonna be off the chain.

    Jonny Booya vs. Colton Thorpe
    A decent main event, but it would have been nice to see a full match with commentary in this slot. It would have just really set this match apart from the rest as the main event. I want to see what Colton Thorpe can do because I have literally no idea who he is. Please remember going forwards that not everyone (i.e. me) reads stuff from any other fed, and this goes for all new faces in DEFIANCE, so anything done in UTA, jOlt, PRIME, or anywhere else people’s legacy characters have been means nothing to some of us. If anything, Get over what they’re in DEFIANCE to do and how they’re going to do it, then take it from there. Don’t rely on stories told elsewhere to get over, because in my mind that’s nowhere near as effective in gaining and holding my attention.

  5. #5
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #57 - ANNNND WE'RE BACK!

    70 DAYS - Perfect opening promo by the most dominant champion that I ever witnessed in efeds. Well done, Damien, absolutely well done.

    ON ONE CONDITION - I like that Seth used personal issues to start up some heat here, but had Evans keep her cool with this calculating new power player, shows Kelly is learning so to speak.

    SHARP v HOFFMAN - I love that Seth is getting the idea and putting hype on the SOHER with Sharp (ditto to Tracey with Harmony on Twitter). The match and promo works for me, so nothing to report IMO.

    BEEN THERE, BEAT THAT - Seth is a machine and basically carried my useless behind on this one, I did chip in a few lines post-HOSS promo with Christie. Also, I really, REALLY like Thomas Keeling Sr. Like, Seth wonders if he has made Sr. and Jr. different enough and, TO ME, it’s night and day, dude. Sr. could be a real force in DEFIANCE.

    INEQUALITY - I can’t tell you how fun it is to read cVc again. Such an obnoxious asshole. Aaah, so much fun. Once again, I just hear Tracey talking when I read Harmony, so it all works out haha. This was a nice setup, of course, I know everything and know that this is only the beginning.

    DONOVAN v NATAS - I echo what others have said, Blue’s found a good track for Donovan and I hope she continues to run with it’s development. Good to have Murr back officially, me and Seth hope to do some good things over the next while to help re-established Natas.

    PREY p1 - Nitpicky technical aspects aside (it’s not my thing unless it’s glaring, so I defer to Evan and Damien on that), I thought this was another solid piece for your character. I look forward to when you get someone to actually work with, heh, (spoilers?). Still, I really like the idea of Omega and the sort of heel niche that he fills which has not been in DEFIANCE for a really long time (or at all in my time with the group).

    GETTING PERSONAL - Jake’s getting in close and being creepifying and dangerous with Sam’s agent is exactly what I was looking for here. Good job, guys.

    PROVE IT - I loved this segment. It has Henry Keyes. That might be coincidence, probably not. Now that Ben is back, he’s not allowed to leave us ever again. I just like how fun the character is, a lot of it being his adherence to the gimmick and thus his obliviousness to things. So good.

    HARMONY v WOLFE - Solid work on the match, especially considering that I have derped around too much and haven’t really put together a solid set of details for Joe Wolfe yet (apologies). Still, it gets another step towards Harm/cVc (and other issues), which is exactly what it needs to accomplish.

    Also, you guys see how I edited the entrances Tracey (and Dan?) wrote for this? That’s how I (more or less) want it done from here on out for DEFtv (it’s also in the handy dandy example doc I have linked in the private forum). Keep this in mind.

    SUNSHINE AND TITLE SHOTS - Tension and cracks forming that cause it. Ambition is a motherfucker. Loved this segment from start to finish. Again, I know the general idea of where things are going, but I like that when I settle in to read, it’s so good that it’s still fun to read the execution of the work.

    SO HERE’S THE DEAL, CURTIS - I helped write (rewrite?) a lot of this. Jon followed the basic concept, but I didn’t like the “feel” and made my nitpicky adjustments.

    GRIFFITH v GORE - Ajax kicking out the Powerbomb is a derpy moment, but I’ve been thinking of giving Dusty a new finish, and this also shows the “potential” of Ajax Gore going forward. In any case, I’m cool with how this works out and like that you followed what I asked for with Dusty picking the kid up and having him “tell the crowd” this kid is for real.

    WHEN HANS MET FRANZ… - The idea, which Seth and I will develop more, is that Booya and Alecz are muscleheads, they should naturally be friends (even if it hasn’t been on television). There is some long term ideas here that, admittedly, only amuse me and Seth right now. Someone’s gonna “play catch” with Alecz and Booya, be warned.

    ANGEL v WALKER - If anyone wonders about Angel pinning Ty with one foot and generally smashing him near the end, it’s all good and makes sense. I kind of liking how Seth added some LOC style “flavor” to the way he wrote this match with the bolding of moves and whatnot, I’ll need to talk to him about how to maybe add this to the example for DEFtv matches.

    FAMILY MATTERS - More tension. Again, I know things, and Brunk and Lindz doing their thing. Sharp and on point.

    BULGES - Seeing Boxer getting pissy is fun to see. I look forward to the follow up to this on #58.

    SOHER: BOOYA v THORPE - I wrote this last minute, Gary says I did a good job with his character, so I’m happy with that.


    CLOSING THOUGHTS - I read this whole show in less than a couple hours, which is a miracle, but once I actually sat down and got to it, it flew by quickly. Sorry for waiting this long to get my feedback up. If it’s not obvious, we are never going back to full matches for DEFtv, except for maybe DEFtv #100 (which I want to be a mega show). Good job to everyone.
    I'm a Fig Newton of Your Imagination.


    DEFIANCE WRESTLING ~ Stand up. Defy.
    * Dusty Griffith: the Unbreakable Pillar of DEFIANCE
    * Tyrone Walker: the Ol' Man River of DEFIANCE

    RED LINE WRESTLING
    * El Habanero



    GOOGLE DRIVE ~ jmsnrs716 @ gmail . com
    GOT A DOC, NEED A INVITE, SEND TO ABOVE

  6. #6
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #57 - ANNNND WE'RE BACK!

    70 Days
    The EndBoss killed it. Eugene is just as legit as it gets for me. The character just draws me in and I have always been a Dewey fan. The character is one of a kind really and I get jealous at how easy he works his magic. It’s outstanding really and like Ryan he kills it every time. Damien, I’ve missed you dude. Holding the fist title for two years is an amazing feat.


    On One Condition
    A tad bit of flip flopping but it really set the scene for these guys. I think Kelly is a bit confused on how she really feels but has to know these guys are legit. I liked it though and think it set the scene for what's to come. “You’ll wrestle who I tell you to wrestle.”

    Andy Sharp vs. Reinhardt Hoffmann
    This flowed well but the entire message was not conveyed as intended. That can be fixed though. The match was good and I like what Sharp can be. I think he really can move along with a tweak or two. All-Star Frog Splash is badass too, I haven’t seen a frog splash in years in written form anyway, lol. Nice.

    Been There, Beat That
    I liked this. This back and forth was awesome and Angel standing up to Dusty and talking to him in that manner really caused me to take notice. I am still catching up on all these characters but Trinidad gets my nod for wrestler of the night.


    Inequality
    I really appreciate the feedback. I agree with all of it. I will add more detail as I move forward with cVc, Evan. This is a new more realistic grounded version too, Damien. Harmony added her bits confused with this crazy white trash asshole but she went with it. This segment was actually more difficult to write than I realized because I am raising my daughter to be headstrong but cVc is cVc. Thank you all.

    Jake Donovan vs. Jason Natas
    I am not as familiar with Natas as I should be. Donovan was impressive here, however. I love the direction and honestly can’t wait to see where he goes with it moving forward.

    Prey - Part 1
    I dig Omega. I think he is a great for DEF and will move up the ladder quick. This segment was solid IMO. “We see the fright in your eyes and the uncertainty in your movements. We know your trepidations and your feeling of utter disappointment. We here to change all of that. We will be your savior.” Cold Blooded. This dude scares the shit out of me, I love it.

    Getting Personal
    The pyromaniac angle is badass. This new dimension really gives Donovan juice. Good stuff.

    Prove It
    The Airship Pirate is a great character. I can’t wait to work with him because the character is so unique. The approach is brave and he is nailing it. “If I lose, send off to the skies once again, there’s PLENTY of work for me there...but i’d rather be here.” We are gonna have fun, dude. I can’t wait.


    Harmony vs. Howlin’ Joe Wolfe
    I watched Tracey write this and she did a wonderful job. She gets full credit here as I just added a few dick parts for cVc. Harmony has no idea who this crazy asshole is that just got a boner for her but she's pissed. Love the twitter play afterwards too even though I don’t do twitter any longer.

    Sunshine & Title Shots
    Really solid. These two are awesome just as they were before I left. Nothing has changed and I always enjoy anything Evan or Damien write. I like the possibility of this relationship and it seems brutal in theory but unstoppable if pursued.

    So, Here’s the Deal, Curtis
    This Penn and Booya stuff is going over so well, IMO. The SoHer Division is wild with life and its beautiful. I am beyond tickled to be apart of it. I really think this division will produce some creative writing we all appreciate.

    Dusty Griffith vs. Ajax Gore
    Good match. There really wasn’t a bad match on this card in all honesty. I agree about the powerbomb but Griffith is a fucking warrior. What a great character and its so good to get to read him again. I’ve missed you all so much and this place has grown so much in my absence.

    When Hans Met Franz And They Pumped.. Each Other Up?!
    “Ohhh, that’s my shit, that’s my shit, that’s my shit… Ooooh” I love the back and forth in this segment lol. Good stuff.

    Angel Trinidad vs Tyrone Walker
    Oh no… Walker dominated? I couldn’t believe it but I thought this match was well written. I was shocked by how it all turned out but looks like Angel is for real. Looking scary good, Trinidad.

    Family Matters (Did We Do That?)
    I echo the sentiments about the chemistry between these two. I really have watched these two since I came back. I was unaware of LT before coming back but you are brilliant, I mean it. Dan Ryan of course, is always money. I just love these two. A plus.

    Bulges
    [Box looks at Jane with a puzzled “and I care why?” look on his face.] I really enjoy Box’s mannerisms and how he is written. Much like Ryan, they use this to contribute to the story and dialogue to help paint a real vivid picture you can actually see in your head. It’s amazing and any heel on the roster could learn a thing or two from either.

    Jonny Booya vs. Colton Thorpe
    I love the setup and Thorpe coming in was bad ass. Booya and Penn just make you want to hate them lol. That’s good heel work, and Thorpe is a wonderful heel in his own right. An Eric Dane guy now in Defiance? Better watch this guy because he means business. This match was my favorite of them all.


    Overall this was a great show. I liked it from start to finish. There’s a few bits we could work on but all are minor and easily fixed. I thank you all for the positive feedback but mainly for the things I need to work on. It’s greatly appreciated and I will apply it to cvc.

  7. #7
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #57 - ANNNND WE'RE BACK!

    Quote Originally Posted by Damien View Post

    Family Matters (Did We Do That?)
    This is pretty damn late for Ryan to be turning up. I get that’s addressed at the start of the segment, but surely this sort of segment should, at the latest, be midway through the show, not right before the main event. It sort of begs the question why would Ryan turn up at all.
    That was addressed, too. He had a meeting with someone during the show, implied to be a certain someone about a certain something which will be announced via news before this next show.

  8. #8
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #57 - ANNNND WE'RE BACK!

    Okay I am going to try to get some feedback done in the next few days.


    Just random thoughts from reading the show.


    -I really think Eugene Dewey is one of the best heels I have read in a long time. The celebration was perfect and not too over the top.


    - Thomas Keeling Sr. is so much better than Jr. as a manager. I know Lindz is very partial to Sonny Silver as a manager but I think Seth does a great job with Sr. Sharp/Hoffman was a good quick read and shows how quickly Sharp is becoming a fan favorite in DEF.


    - Loved the interaction between cVc and Harmony and feel like it will be a really good storyline. I think these two will play off each other well.


    - I look forward to reading more of Jake Donovan.


    - Won't comment on my own stuff but I hope everyone has been enjoying this different character.


    - I think Keyes is interesting and this is the first time that I am reading him so I want to see more from him.


    - Didn't expect Wolfe to beat Harmony but with cVc adding to the match it made sense. This will be a killer feud.


    - Very intesnse altercation between Box/Dewey. Do not know the history between the two but I would love to see the two go at it.


    - I like the direction of the Booya/Penn saga. It adds a little more intrigue to the SOHER division.


    - Ajax Gore did well in his debut but it was against Dusty Griffith. Very good match.


    - Nice tension between family members.


    -Great match for Thorpe and Penn rushing in to save his title. Nice work guys.
    Leave the rum by the cage and do not make any sudden moves...

    ++++++++++++++++++++
    Omega -
    jOlt Heavyweight Champion- (2x)Underground Champion - Fearless Champion
    Tammy Lynn Foster - jOlt (2x) Starlet Champion'
    'Superstar' Vince Jacobs - LoC (4x Legacy Champion), nbW Heavyweight and Keystone Champion
    El Dragon Loco - nbW Keystone Champion

  9. #9
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #57 - ANNNND WE'RE BACK!

    OH LOOK JAMES, I'M DOING FEEDBACK.

    -Dewey is a prick and I love it. He's so much of a prick that I want him to lose the FIST when he's literally ONE DAY AWAY from that 2 year reign.

    - Tensions already between Kelly and HOSS. I don't know the history, but I get the feeling that HOSS are not to be trusted.

    - Nice match with Hoffman and Sharp. Sharp's coming for the SOHER? Not if Harmony can help it

    - Useful introduction to those unfamiliar with team HOSS and a few answered questions. Keeling is a dick. The old guard are grizzled. This could be combustable, big time.

    - That cVc needs his testicles re-arranging. Just sayin'.

    - Good match between Donovan and Natas. My only issue writing wise on this one is the statement "The match progresses." It seems a bit sterile and doesn't fit with the rest of the match flow, imo.

    - LT HAS A STALKER, OMG. Creepy guy is creepy. I'll be honest, some of the dialogue here felt a little on the cliche side, but we'll see how it progresses.

    - The evolution of Jake Donovan has been very good. Kudos Blue. Jeannie is all business, as I would expect her to be.

    - Hahaha, I love Henry Keyes' weirdness. Great segment.

    - That fucking cVc is looking for an ass kicking.

    - Boxer and Dewey on the same page is bad news, but combustible news. One wrong move and we're all going to hell in a hand basket haha.

    - Curtis Penn is a slimeball. Someone needs to bring him down a peg or six.

    - I liked Griffith vs. Gore. Well written and the show of respect at the end was a nice touch.

    - SUPER MUSCLE BROS! Funny stuff and a brewing issue with Natas?

    - Slick match here with Ty and Angel. Really showed off Angel as an absolute destructive force.

    - Not so happy families. Oh dear.

    - Hehe. Nice little seg with Box and the head of security.

    - Hahaha, love it. Thorpe is taking none of Booya's bullshit. Fab debut match for Thorpe and Penn seriously needs taking down the woodshed.

    Good stuff all round folks. Just a couple of small spelling issues I've spotted along the way and some brackets that aren't closed off, but they're minor things that a read through before submitting could be caught.

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