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  1. #1
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    FEEDBACK - DEFtv #53

    I'm a Fig Newton of Your Imagination.


    DEFIANCE WRESTLING ~ Stand up. Defy.
    * Dusty Griffith: the Unbreakable Pillar of DEFIANCE
    * Tyrone Walker: the Ol' Man River of DEFIANCE

    RED LINE WRESTLING
    * El Habanero



    GOOGLE DRIVE ~ jmsnrs716 @ gmail . com
    GOT A DOC, NEED A INVITE, SEND TO ABOVE

  2. #2
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #53

    There are thirteen members on this roster who are active handlers not named me.

    If I don't see some motherfucking feedback start rolling in, we will not have another show.

    There is no excuse not to give feedback.

    So fucking do it.
    Stand up. Defy!
    www.DEFIANCEwrestling.com

    [There was a commercial, or your stream froze, pretend we have a Diva division and a piss-break match came on; whatever, just, give me five minutes okay? Everybody crapped on the idea of commercials and I need for five minutes to have passed, dig it?]

  3. #3
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #53

    Been working on mine and chewin' through the show in a Gdoc between spurts of busy here at work.
    I also have creative input in: Felton Bigsby, Viking War Cult, Don Hollywood, MDM4 and a few others... #BRAZEN

  4. #4
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #53

    I’m all outta Bubblegum…

    RIP to one of the all time greats, Rodney the Piper! I kid. I don’t give a shit if we’re not supposed to break kayfabe or the fourth wall or acknowledge the real world. In my DEFIANCE, when a legend passes he gets his due.

    DEF 2 DA MAX

    A solid in-ring opener for the first show after a tournament arc. This is exactly the kind of thing you would expect! My only complaint is that I wish there’d have been more of a party/celebration aspect here before Dark Lord Dewey came out and took a shit on everything. Either way, three solid promos that quite nicely set up both the number one contenders match and the FIST Title match for later in the show.

    Three of Five

    Absolutely beautiful work by Evan in helping debut some of our BRAZEN guys onto the main roster. What I want out of the BRAZEN project is a place where anybody in DEF can work out ideas, come up with new things, or have characters to interact with who aren’t necessarily “handled” but who aren’t straight jobbers with a bio page. I can’t gush about this enough.

    Bronson Box vs Reinhardt Hoffman (½*)

    This one ain’t gonna win any MotY votes, but it’s a solid “enhancement” match while not being a squash. It’s also very much in the ballpark of what I’m gonna want out of early-card matches from here on out. The format isn’t finalized or anything, and there’s still room to tinker and/or improve, but this is a great start.

    The Title is Back Where it Belongs

    Foreshadowing, much? YEESH! This was good for what it was, not Jon’s best Curtis Penn promo, but by far not his worst either. My one complaint is that is read very stiffly before I did a fair amount of editing. Jon, brother I know you’re pressed for time, but you gotta proofread these things and make sure it sounds like the way a human being speaks. You know me and the crew are always here to help, but this is my advice to you for the future. Anyhow, it set up a new smarmy heel gimmick for Penn to use to put himself over, and brings us directly into…

    Curtis Penn vs Levi Cole (*)

    Okay, this is almost not what I want from the new BRAZEN guys. Now, I know you squashed the dude to set up for the endgame, but for fuck’s sake give him some shine SOMEWHERE or he’s as useless as Rod Fantastico. Doesn’t really matter, though, as this whole match was set up for the return of Funkmaster COOL himself, Cancer Jiles! I liked that you guys didn’t take the easy route and blow the promo on this show, and I’m looking forward to what Jiles has to say! Oh, and George, remember what you signed up for homeboy, you flake, CCJ becomes a static DEF NPC! (now everybody knows, now you CAN’T flake)

    Point Made

    This is how you do a backstage segment, folks. Get to the point, put over the story, move it on down the road. I love the weird chemistry between Box and Dewey, and I love the potential it has to blow up in everyone’s faces, but most of all I love how you guys didn’t drag this out for fifty-seven pages.

    Mushigihara vs Harmony (*½)

    Now this is an underdog story I can get behind! Mushi continues to be the best midcard monster heel I’ve ever seen, and Harmony continues to make Angus furiously fap at the commentation station! It was quick and dirty, and it did exactly what it needed to. Good job to Rob and Tracey!

    Old World Curiosity

    This segment almost didn’t make the show. It shouldn’t have made the show. However, it was so fucking good that I couldn’t help but leave it in. We’re seeing new sides to Box everytime he shows up on a show, and I can’t get enough of that. I do hope this goes somewhere though, but at the same time you can only have so many sticks in so many fires…

    Good Luck

    Another great, to the point segment! It got the principles involved fast, sold the story, sold the match, and went on about its merry business. I do believe we were killing ourselves writing segments that had a lot of “too much shit” in them before, and this is a great example of moving past that trend! Good job Ken, Dave, and Lindz!

    #1 Contenders Match to the FIST
    Frank Holiday vs Dan Ryan vs Lindsay Troy (***)

    Writing a 3way match can be a bitch. Reading one can be a bigger bitch. You almost never see them on TV anymore because wrestling them is a bitch, too. However, with the right set of wrestlers and the right psychology, you can be as entertaining as you want to be! Another good TV styled match that didn’t go over-long but got everyone over. Everyone got to shine, everyone got their shit in, everyone is moving in a positive direction going forward. Again, mad ass dope ridiculous props to Ken, Lindz, and Dave.

    The Wake of Defeat

    Good selling of the earlier match, and more proper selling of Dante and Mushi. I’ve got great expectations for this feud. I’m glad to see Rob and Tracey seem to have some chemistry!

    FIST Championship Match
    Dusty Griffith vs Eugene Dewey © (*½)

    This was a non-match but it was supposed to be. The story is Dusty hates Eugene, Eugene hates Dusty, Dusty Hates Box, Box hates Dusty, Nicky Corozzo is big muscle backup, and the returning Frank Dylan James is big muscle backup. Is there more to this story? You’re just gonna have to wait and see. A solid brawl that didn’t settle any issues and left everybody with a reason to hate everybody moving forward. God, I fucking love DEFIANCE.


    What did we do right?

    Damn near everything. People stuck to the match lengths I gave them, the segments were tight and hot for the most part, everything fit, it was wonderful. To everyone who put in the work to do things the way I’ve been asking, you have my deepest thanks, and I hope I can keep things together and provide you with ample reason to keep up the great work!

    What did we do wrong?

    There was a segment or two that wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but it wasn’t much. The formats were mostly right, I really can’t complain too much. Just make sure you guys are PAYING ATTENTION to what is asked of you.

    Match of the Night?

    The three-way dance for sure! That’s how you get three people over at once!

    Segment of the Night?

    Three of Five. Maybe I’m biased, but I really got a kick out of seeing some of our long term unused ideas for BRAZEN finally come into fruition this week! The three fantastic accompanying news posts didn’t hurt one bit, either.

    Top Face of the Night?

    Gonna go with Lindsay Troy here. She’s the one positive influence on Dan Ryan keeping him from murdering everyone, and she survived a hell of a match to become the #1 Contender!

    Top Heel of the Night?

    Going with Mushi here. He’s such a mean piece of fuck! And he beats up girls now!

    On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?

    I want Keyes to settle into something so badly it hurts.

    Favorite Quotes?

    DDK:Yes, well, as it stands Kelly is the boss, and pissing her off is bad for your health. Maybe Eugene should take that into account before hacking the show and trying to mod it to fit his tastes!

    Mark-Out Moments?

    Angus:I want to not have to suffer with Mayberry being a thi--

    [Dusty and Frank continue to get rowdy with the crowd and an irate trio of Euge, Boxer and Nicky, a clunking sound can be heard and then the sound of what can only be a body hitting a table. A quick cut shot to the commentary booth shows Angus Skaaland is slumped over the table, half of a broken coconut near his skull. Keebler sits there politely and would be innocently if not for the other half of the broken coconut in his hand.]

    DDK:
    That one’s for you, Hot Rod!

    How was the overall reading experience?

    Top to bottom it was an easy read, which is a nice change, as one thing led to the next and so on, and as is the proper formula everything built toward something and the show ended on a high note. I’m not saying this was the “perfect” show for DEFIANCE, but I am saying it was enjoyable and wasn’t missing anything but length.
    Stand up. Defy!
    www.DEFIANCEwrestling.com

    [There was a commercial, or your stream froze, pretend we have a Diva division and a piss-break match came on; whatever, just, give me five minutes okay? Everybody crapped on the idea of commercials and I need for five minutes to have passed, dig it?]

  5. #5
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #53

    What did we do right?

    The main thing we did right was Justin cracked the whip and made everyone get serious. Even with the best of intentions, people need someone providing that sort of guidance and accountability to ensure things go the way they're supposed to. And, it worked like a charm. Everything that made the show was sharp and to the point. That's the way I prefer it. There wasn't really any fluff.

    What did we do wrong?

    Some people didn't get with the program or were resistant to getting with it. That's disappointing, but okay. The fed is stronger when people want to work.

    Match of the Night?

    I wrote a good chunk of the triple threat, as did Lindsay. Ken helped with a chunk of the intros and the beginning of the match. Thanks for the props.

    Box v. Dusty was a good solid storytelling match. That's what tv show matches need to be. Save the epic stuff for PPV.

    Segment of the Night?

    I was intrigued by the BRAZEN stuff too. I'm not really sure where it's headed and that's fine. I like that I have to guess.

    Top Face of the Night?

    I'd say Lindsay Troy, too. She's works hard to develop that character, and I'm happy to help her along where I can.

    Top Heel of the Night?

    Dan Ryan isn't the only one beating up girls now. Way to go, Mush.

    On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?

    I'm not sure. I'm gonna leave this one blank, because there's a lot that's up in the air.

    Favorite Quotes?

    DDK:Yes, well, as it stands Kelly is the boss, and pissing her off is bad for your health. Maybe Eugene should take that into account before hacking the show and trying to mod it to fit his tastes!

    Mark-Out Moments?

    I didn't really mark out for anything. That's not a knock on everyone. I just thought it was a good solid show. If I had to pick one, I guess Cancer Jiles coming back. I'm just cautious in that mark out, because I'm hoping he sticks around. CCJ has always been great when George cares.

    How was the overall reading experience?

    Much much better. It doesn't read like a four hour TV show anymore. Glad we assigned match lengths and time. I think that's gonna be a big help, and it really closely matches what you're given if you're an actual worker in a real fed. They say, you have 6 minutes.... GO. It worked very well here.

  6. #6
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #53

    What did we do right?
    I really liked the stripped-down approach to this card; it doesn't feel like a PPV-length program (or a PPV presentation, which is not necessary for the opening show of an arc), and the simplification of entrances and the like make this much easier to digest than our shows normally are. It's easier to keep up.

    What did we do wrong?
    While I agree that song lyrics and crowd reactions are overused and should be used far less than usual, I feel like a lack of crowd noises dampers certain things. To wit; the return of Cancer Jiles should have an EAR-SPLITTING pop, but the presentation here seemed just a bit muted.

    That said, this was the first show we've written under these new constrictions, so I will chalk things like that up to getting our feet wet, as well as my own personal nitpicking.

    Match of the Night?
    The #1 Contender's match. Brunk and Lindz brought the goods here, and like Justin said, three-way matches are hard as balls to do right, so that they made a good match out of it deserves mention.

    Segment of the Night?

    I enjoyed the Box/Keyes segment. It was like some bizarre crossover that works because of its sheer ludicrousness.

    Top Face of the Night?
    Dusty Griffith, avenger of wrongs, who got screwed out of getting said revenge and got the backing of the cavalry.

    Top Heel of the Night?
    Eugene Dewey, mastermind.

    On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?
    Harmony. I am REALLY looking forward to expanding on this angle with Tracey, and expect great things from her.

    Favorite Quotes?
    I'm typing this out on my phone. I'll add quotes with an edit.

    Mark-Out Moments?
    RETURN OF THE COOL~! A motivated George is a sight to behold, and I'm very curious as to how he'll take to the angle fed structure.

    How was the overall reading experience?
    Much, MUCH easier to digest. The use of length limits in matches helps me personally due to my tendency to second-guess my writing and worrying about making matches long enough or putting in enough action.

    I do have some concerns that I mentioned above, but I have no doubt we'll iron out the bugs before long and crank out our usual consistent quality.
    Last edited by The God-Beast; 08-04-15 at 11:57 PM. Reason: FUCK YO' SPACING
    DEFIANCE WRESTLING
    -"The God-Beast" Mushigihara (w/ Eddie Dante)

    CONTACT ME
    email/Googledocs: onanotherplanet [AT] gmail dot com

    Quote Originally Posted by Justin View Post
    DEF just posted its fifth early show in a row.
    Quote Originally Posted by Justin View Post
    I'm just saying, is all.

  7. #7
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #53

    What did we do right?
    I like that I can read the card two or three times in the time I has taken me once in the past.

    What did we do wrong?
    Nothing. Just adjusting.

    Match of the Night?

    Three way match for sure. It had a point, proved it, and got all three over at once.

    Segment of the Night?

    Henry Keyes and Box… I’m really marking for all things Keyes.

    Top Face of the Night?
    Dusty Griffith for the fact that Mayberry is everything a face needs to be.

    Top Heel of the Night?
    Euge… as he should be.

    On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?
    Henry Keyes, I feel that the airship pirate is about to take off.

    Favorite Quotes?
    DDK:Yes, well, as it stands Kelly is the boss, and pissing her off is bad for your health. Maybe Eugene should take that into account before hacking the show and trying to mod it to fit his tastes!

    Mark-Out Moments?
    Cancer Jiles’ return . ‘nuff said.

    How was the overall reading experience?
    Easier to read .

    OOC Comment:

    I feel that I was really off of my game as far as writing Curtis for this show. This was not anywhere close to what I know I can do and it really pisses me off that segment is what I turned in.

  8. #8
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #53

    RODDY PIPER TRIBUTE
    Kayfabe can go fuck itself. See ya on the flip side, Hot Rod.
    DEF 2 DA MAX
    Ken, Dames, and I all took turns writing this. Twas fun and whatnot.
    THREE OF FIVE
    For those not clued in, BRAZEN is DEFIANCE’s own developmental group ala NXT. Feel free to add to it, even if it’s only throwaway stuff, someone could think of something to do with it. The reverse is also true, you could see a character on the roster have an idea to run with. Give it a chance, because we don’t want to just have basic bitch jobbers. As for the segment itself. Evan doing what he always does, nerding out hardcore with nifty little stuff like this and gets the ball rolling down the proverbial hill.
    BRONSON BOX vs REINHARDT HOFFMAN
    A nice little summary that gives Hoffman some actual in ring time, gets a little bit shine against Boxer, who of course turns it on when it’s time to show the younger man what’s up. Dig the ending with Boxer shaking Hoffman’s hand and letting the guy have a moment to get some applause from the Faithful. I would actually like to see more of these summaries to be completely honest. Save “full” write ups for the main event of the show and any major matches (say there’s two big matches on the show to draw a crowd, have those be written in full).
    THE TITLE IS BACK WHERE IT BELONGS
    A bit hamfisted with the cool stuff, but it gets the job done.
    CURTIS PENN vs LEVI COLE
    Short, should have been a little longer on action to give Levi Cole a couple of spots, then have Curtis Penn take control. Alternatively, a summary that picked up in full with the Cancer Jiles return would have also worked, though I see how awkward that would be. So the match itself should have been a couple of pages longer before the return spot.
    POINT MADE
    Perfect segment, no seriously. It didn’t drag, it played off stuff that happened earlier in the show (and in a way what happened from Aftershock on). Good stuff, these sort of short scenes are what we need from here on out. Say what needs to be said and move it along.
    MUSHIGIHARA vs HARMONY
    The new “song labels” are only part of a package that I want to develop for a (semi?) standard “ring entrance” to be used for DEFtv. Something to keep entrance sections being 2 or more pages long. Need to keep in mind, DEFtv is a TIMED tv event (so to speak), so we don’t need extra long entrances with lots of extra hype. Save some of that for PPV.
    As for the match, the one nitpicky thing that I’ll levy at this is that I think it would have been better if Mushi was trying for something from the ropes for Harmony to hit the finishing spot. Also no use of Angus’ crush on Harmony in this match, it actually felt odd to not have it used, haha, but that’s not entirely necessary (at all?)
    OLD WORLD CURIOSITY
    This was… odd, but in a good way. I’m already on record as saying I’d love to see Boxer and Keyes do something more. This should be the first step towards that, just slow play it for a couplafew arcs. Otherwise, yeah, it might not mean something now, thus not really belonging on the show, but if it actually leads to something down the way, cool. Also, nothing wrong with something offbeat and interesting on the shows like this.
    GOOD LUCK
    Again, another segment that doesn’t drag on forever and remembers that this is supposed to be a tv show that actually has timed boundaries. DR and FH starting off very cooly here, look forward to what Brunk and Ken come up with long term for this arc (spoilers!).
    #1 CONTENDER THREE WAY - DAN RYAN vs LINDSAY TROY vs FRANK HOLIDAY
    Excellent match start to finish, again, really starting to come to terms with the new, shorter, more get to the point style of matchwriting we’re going with for DEFtv. Ridiculous, barely feels like I’ve even started reading, but here we are near the end. Interesting finish to this with Ryan being a smirking bastard as he leaves Frank to be finished by Troy. Look forward to how you guys play this up on the next show and through Acts of DEFIANCE. Of course, now we get to see what Dames and Lindz have in mind for this arc, gotta be some good, good stuff we’re about to see coming up.
    SEGMENT
    Mushi is angry and doesn’t feel like playing nice with Harmony, ruh-roh. I know Tracey wrote this, but it’s also nice to see Rob stepping up, getting involved, and not waiting around.
    FIST OF DEFIANCE - EUGENE DEWEY © vs DUSTY GRIFFITH
    Dames and I essentially wrote this twice. First time was 20 incomplete pages, the DEFAGEDDON happened, and this version was just under 10 pages. I think I might actually grow to love this new controlled version of what we write going forward. Thanks to Dame for getting the first half of the match and giving me some bullet points to work with on the backend.

    BABYFACE: Lindsay Troy, natch.
    HEEL: The Original DEFIANTS, collectively.
    MATCH: Three Way, duh.
    SEGMENT: The opener with Holiday, Eugene, and Dusty. The Boxer / Keyes bit was fun. And the Cancer Jiles return spot was good, glad to have George back.

    WHAT WE DID RIGHT? We got this bitch rolling after losing an entire month and a couplafew handlers. It wasn’t entirely easy either, but we kept it together and got through it.
    WHAT WE DID WRONG? Eeeeh, Roddy Piper dying sucks all of the dicks, but that’s hardly our fault.
    ANYTHING ELSE? Yeah, I am going to be just fine with the limited page count for matches going forward, I was little concerned at first, but it feels / looks like it’s going to be just fine.
    I'm a Fig Newton of Your Imagination.


    DEFIANCE WRESTLING ~ Stand up. Defy.
    * Dusty Griffith: the Unbreakable Pillar of DEFIANCE
    * Tyrone Walker: the Ol' Man River of DEFIANCE

    RED LINE WRESTLING
    * El Habanero



    GOOGLE DRIVE ~ jmsnrs716 @ gmail . com
    GOT A DOC, NEED A INVITE, SEND TO ABOVE

  9. #9
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #53

    What did we do right?

    The new stripped-down format for matches really worked wonders on the readability of the card as a whole. I was able to finish the show fairly quickly and without being tempted to skim.

    What did we do wrong?

    No knock on Evan or his matchwriting, but having a summarized match format for Box vs. Reinhardt was a bit jarring. It's not drastic, but another format change in the middle of a card that's already testing out a new writing style felt off.

    Match of the Night?

    The #1 contenders match was great. I worked on the outline and a bit of the entrances, but Lindz and Brunk did the lion's share here.

    Segment of the Night?

    The Keyes/Box segment, because Keyes is weird and fascinating.

    Top Face of the Night?

    Dusty Griffith fo sho. First show back in action and he's taking it right to the Original DEFIANTS.

    Top Heel of the Night?

    Eugene Dewey plays just the right kind of whiny heel that makes you yearn for him to get smacked around.

    On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?

    Harmony is developing nicely so far, and with the recent roster cuts she's going to have chances to move up the ranks quickly.

    Favorite Quotes?

    Can't think of any one in particular. It occurs to me that, other than promo segs, we're going to have a lot less DDK/Angus patter to spotlight here due to the new match lengths.

    Mark-Out Moments?

    The return of Cancer Jiles was a surprise.

    How was the overall reading experience?

    It was much quicker and overall pretty smooth, which you want for DEFtv cards. Great stuff.

    I'm reserving judgment on the BRAZEN idea until I see how it develops. In concept I can appreciate what it's meant to do, but if these "NPCs" (in quotes because they're actually more than that) are to be anything more than enhancement talent used for throwaway matches, they need a period of committed character development.
    DEFIANCE WRESTLING
    Frank Holiday - 2015 DEF*MAX Grand Prix Champion, 1x Southern Heritage Champion
    Twitter (IC): @FrankHolidayDEF

    RED LINE WRESTLING
    Hittora
    Twitter (IC): @Hittora_SINGS

    Google Drive: positivelyken@gmail.com
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    Twitter (OOC): @PositivelyKen

  10. #10
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #53

    I’m All Out of Bubblegum…


    *sigh* what a fucked up 2015. Dr. Cliff Huxtable is a serial rapist, Hulk Hogan is a trashy racist homophobe, The Dream American Dream is dead, now we lost Hotrod. It’s a shitty ass year to be a child of the 80’s, lemme’ tell you what.


    DEF 2 DA MAX


    Don’t me a lemon! Be a rosebud! Because it’s party time, all… yeah, anyway. I insist you make this entrance for every match, Ken. Great promo from Euge, soooooort of expected a little more “why is Box not out here to help Eugene” to sort of set up the segment later, but meh. I guess it’s implied. Great simple promo work that elevates everybody. Good shit guys.


    Three Of Five


    I wrote this one. I hope everyone is enjoying the BRAZEN stuff. Justin handed me a doc full of forgotten hand me down characters and a huge list of random developmental name generator first and last names and I went to fuckin’ work. ENORMOUS HOLY FUCK props to Chris for the work on all the micros. None of this shit would be happening without his incredible art bringing these characters to life.


    IF YOU HAVE SIDE CHARACTERS/NPC’S/RANDOM GIMMICK IDEAS that you’d like to add to Eric Dane’s little gorilla / punk rock developmental system OOOOOR you have a hair brained idea to a BRAZshow hit up me and Justin, there’s a lot of forms I’d like to see those "shows" take.


    Bronson Box vs. Reinhardt Hoffman


    Really want some feedback on the formatting of this match. Does this work for everyone? I really think a light peppering of summarized matches like this will allow for A. more bookings, more characters, more storytelling opportunity without killing ourselves pounding out pages and pages of announcer bibble babble and B. allow for Justin to book a few random matches over each arc, keeps things interesting.


    If you guys want to use any of the talent we debut from BRAZEN like this to give your characters some bookings on DEFtv hit us up.


    The Title Is Back Where It Belongs


    ALL HAIL CURTIS PENN. ALL HAIL CANCER JILES.


    Jon, awesome work… GEORGE! Welcome back to the fold sir! If you fella’s need ANY help with booking this feud I am soooo here for you. Hit me up on Skype. I think this angle has some real legs, could be a looooot of fun. (I’d also love to see some news / propaganda to follow up this big return and blossoming feud… hint hint, nudge nudge.)


    Point Made


    Me write this.


    Mushi vs. Harmony


    I really like the booking of Harmony because she’s a departure from 90% of the woman characters we’ve had in that she’s not a “tough as nails former MMA fighter that don’t take no shit”... she’s an upbeat indie wrestle chick. I like that. I also like how Mushi eats the loss due to sort of “pfffff, whatever lady… stupid weak lady, I… wait what?” like it came out of nowhere. Solid underdog / monster heel booking. Good job guys.


    Old World Curiosity


    This could indeed have been off card, but everyone seemed to like it so meh. I just goddamn love Keyes and want to run an arc one of these days between he and Box. Slooooooow burn, just developing a relationship between the two. We’ll probably do more of these. Glad everyone liked it.


    Good Luck


    Dan Ryan: [to Troy, completely ignoring Frank.]
    I’m gonna go on ahead. When you’re done with Amy Shumer over there, maybe we can have a match.

    I really like that Ryan is in no mood for Frank. I’d love to see more of that seeing as Troy is so cool with Frank’s shenanigans. I can’t wait to hear Ryan really let loose on Holiday, there’s a monster promo there waiting to happen.


    #1 Contender to the FIST of DEFIANCE: Frank Holiday vs. Dan Ryan vs. Lindsay Troy


    What’s there to say? Fantastic match. Love the intrigue at the end with Ryan leaving. This is why I’m glad we broke up that GIANT useless mega combo doc. I don’t want to have all the angles spoiled for me. Letting Justin pick through our personal angle docs and compile the run sheets really is the way to go. Keeps things fun and surprising as each of our storylines unfold.


    The Wake Of Defeat


    Loved this sooooo much. Like everyone said above about the Dewey Box seg, how it didn’t drag on and absolutely got right to the heart of the matter. Harmony is positioned perfectly to take that next step. The SoHer title is absolutely in her future IMO.


    I’d kill to read some news / propaganda stuff attached to this beatdown, get some off card heat. This segment deserves some followup. Just a suggestion. Awesome beatdown.


    I won’t blow James to hard for the main event, he knows how good he is.


    Next card is going to follow up this match in a big way.


    Hold onto your butts.




    GREAT show, imo. Everything came together, it clearly sets up the angles going forward from Mushi/Harmony to Penn/Jiles to the Holiday/Ryan/Troy drama and obs me, Dames, James and Justin doin’ our thing.


    Fuck yeah, guys.




    PS - (If anyone still fuzzy on what we're doing with BRAZEN, hit me up on Skype, we can rap about it / we'll add you to the doc where we keep everything.)
    I also have creative input in: Felton Bigsby, Viking War Cult, Don Hollywood, MDM4 and a few others... #BRAZEN

  11. #11
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #53

    What did we do right?
    I love that this is a lot easier to read, it reads like the house show it is now, rather than reading like a PPV. Don’t get me wrong, I have loved the quality of the DEF cards, they all read like PPVs though, that can be a bit taxing, I’m sure to have them all read that way. This stripped down version of the card distinguishes it from the huge shows while still packing a major punch.

    What did we do wrong?
    I don’t really feel we did anything wrong, new format means something new to get used to , but I think we headed in a great direction with it. I don’t mind the lack of crowd noises, I can use them or not depending on the mood. I think we presented a solid card with some great new ideas in play.

    Match of the Night?
    Box vs Dusty was the one I liked the most, but then, we are also talking about two of my favorite characters in DEF. Both guys know how to tell a story, so putting them together makes for some amazing reads. Looking forward to more.

    Segment of the Night?
    The BRAZEN stuff really made me curious, I want to see where this goes, how it mixes in with everything else that is going on in DEF. It seems like an amazing idea that can go so many different directions.

    Top Face of the Night?
    So so hard to choose between Lyndsey and Dusty, but I think I have to give it to Dusty this time.

    Top Heel of the Night?
    Wow, there is only one person who’s been seriously standing out in my head as THE heel right now and that is Eugene Dewey. It’s been so cool to read his transformation over the years, though at times I do miss the sweet video game nerd who needed his brother to speak for him.

    On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?
    Harmony is amazing, I know she is going to do some awesome stuff here in DEF.

    Favorite Quotes?
    DDK:
    What’s going on… he’s got her racked across his shoulders, but he’s not trying to drop her…
    [Indeed, the God-Beast is guffawing and chuckling as he walks about the ring, pacing about and showing his victim off like a trophy kill.]
    Angus:
    Look, he’s just parading with her like she’s a lion in Zimbabwe!
    DDK:
    ...wow, Angus, that’s sick, even for you.


    Mark-Out Moments?
    Frank coming down there swinging the chain like he was one of the Russians.

    How was the overall reading experience?
    I had no trouble reading it without it taking up most of my free time in an afternoon to do so. Three hours to read a card when you don’t always have three hours right away was very difficult to keep up with and the main reason at times I would not leave feedback. This took about half that amount of time to read.

  12. #12
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #53

    Quote Originally Posted by Ulfric View Post
    How was the overall reading experience?
    I had no trouble reading it without it taking up most of my free time in an afternoon to do so. Three hours to read a card when you don’t always have three hours right away was very difficult to keep up with and the main reason at times I would not leave feedback. This took about half that amount of time to read.
    This is a very important statement.

    I know some people have strong feelings against some summarization when it comes to the matches, but reading every move of a match should always be waaaaaaay behind the stories we're trying to SHARE with one another and the fun we're all trying to have with what free time we have. If our shows are so long, some of writers can't find the time to actually READ all of them... where's the fun in that? I'm more interested in us all getting to not only be creative but everyone get to ENJOY that creativity together as a group.

    I'll take everyone having fun and being engaged with each others angles over written out matches any day of the week.

    Thanks for the well said words, Blue!
    I also have creative input in: Felton Bigsby, Viking War Cult, Don Hollywood, MDM4 and a few others... #BRAZEN

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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #53

    Here we go with the feeding of the backs.

    Nice to pay tribute to Hot Rod, may he rest in peace.

    The opening segment was all kinds of awesome. I'm still a little unsure about all of the characters in defiance, but that gave me some nice insight into the upper echelon. Nice to see Dusty back too.

    Ooo some tension with the Brazen kids and main roster already? Looking forward to where this goes.

    Seeing Box be respectful is weird haha. The shortened match made for easier reading that's for sure. Nice little opener match.

    Curtis Penn is a dick and needs that smug look wiping off his face. I felt that match was way too heavy on the commentary. When I read it, it looked like it was more commentary than actual action. Can't wait to see what happens with Penn and Jiles tho.

    Oh dear, could we be heading for an implosion between Dewey and Box?

    Oh yay, I won. Again, the match on the website looked really commentary heavy but in the Google doc it didn't. Maybe it's a cross over thing idk.

    Is Box insinuating Keyes is a robot or something? Interesting...

    Dan Ryan seems grumpy, would he like some candy or something? Nice little segment bringing the 3 entities together to tease a little bit of tension going into the #1 contenders match.

    Nice paced match, good balance of action here. What is Dan Ryan's deal?! Oooo tensions.

    I got squished like a bug. Ouchies.

    The main event was pretty damn spiffy. Really can tell the history between Dewey and Griffith. Loved the storytelling and the ambiguous ending!

    Overall, lots of good stuff happening.

  14. #14
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #53

    Let me start by saying this is the first show I’ve been able to open while at work Aftershock, which is good. That means there’s less swearing because all websites where I work are content filtered for NSFW stuff.

    I do work in a school after all.

    So that right there tells me people have taken Mike’s words to heart already, which is awesome. There was never a need for so much swearing, so if there’s less here then I’m all for it.

    I’m All Outta Bubblegum
    RIP Hot Rod.

    DEF 2 DA MAX
    Was Frank left shark? There’s a question that’s gonna asked for years.

    Fun segment to start and I think I liked this a lot more than the initial plan which had a lot more people involved. It allowed us to keep things tighter and, overall, probably neater in terms of tangents.

    Three Of Five
    I like the introduction of the characters, and I’m definitely interested in the BRAZEN project. I have a plethora of characters I’d like to do *something* with, but not necessarily handle for more than one week at a time, so I’d definitely like to get some of those ideas in there.

    Definitely interested in seeing what some of these guys can do.

    Bronson Box vs. Reinhardt Hoffman
    YES YES YES YES YES! More of this. I don’t need long lists of moves. I don’t need paragraphs of dodging and avoiding each other 6 times in one show. I like this, and I want more of this.

    The Title is Back Where it Belongs
    Ok, there’s a coupleafew lines in here that should not be there. And they all refer to, what should be, the biggest surprise of the night. I mean, I had no idea that was about to happen, but if I hadn’t read other peoples feedback already, and if I hadn’t know CCJ was coming back, I’d feel mightily cheated out of that major surprise by those lines. They drag down what isn’t the best promo to begin with even further.

    Still, I’m interested to see what Jon can do with the invitational gimmick. Especially when it’s playing out on TV at the moment with JAWN CEEEEEEENA!

    Curtis Penn vs. Levi Cole
    I’d much rather have seen Levi Cole take it to Penn out of the gate. Get him to hit a couple of moves and really shock Penn, maybe even get a two count out of it, then have Penn rally back and take him down to asset just where Levi really is in the grand scheme of things. I also don’t want to be reading lines like “That all happened in less than a minute” as well. I know we’ve got directives on how long matches should be now (LOVE that btw) but I know how long it takes to poke someone in the eye and hit them with an axe handle. I don’t need to be told it.

    OK, the CCJ return is still a markout moment, but all the references to him have definitely numbed me to it. True, we haven’t seen CCJ in a couple of years now, which is how his return should have been sold, not months, but he’s not been mentioned in that length of time either. Suddenly he’s mentioned time and time again and we’re not supposed to expect him? I guess I’m just not a fan of how the return was executed.

    Still, good to have you back, George.

    Point Made
    Ok, I had no part in this segment, and I’m not OVERLY happy about it. I didn’t know it was happening, and I wish I had, because there’s several things I’d change about it, mainly Eugene swearing at the end of it.

    Seriously, Evan, when was the last time Eugene just dropped a casual ‘shit’ or ‘fuck’? Let alone three in the same sentence?

    Still, it’s what we need to do to further the Box/Dewey story.

    Mushigihara vs. Harmony
    I really like this match. I’m so happy that Rob seems to be investing more time in Mushi than Troy Matthews because the character is so much more interesting to read. Harmony as well is starting to impress me. I’ll admit that I’ve not paid a whole lot of attention to her since she joined, but this was a damn good match that told an effective story in the right amount of time.

    Old World Curiosity
    I don’t think this was the best time to start anything Box/Keyes related, but Keyes doesn’t seem to be up to much right now, so it’s not unwelcome to have him getting involved, but Box has a lot of irons in the fire right now, so I’m not sure another one won’t start causing some serious Bronson Box overload.

    Good Luck
    This is the exact sort of thing you’d see on RAW or Smackdown before a match. Quick, to the point, and with a little bit of posturing. This is what we should be aiming for. Realism.

    Frank vs. Lindsay vs. Dan
    For the first time in about half a year we’ve got a title match set up before the last show of the arc. I like it. I’m a little unsure over the ending to the match with Dan sitting back and letting LT take the win, but I’m sure Brunk and Lindz know exactly what they’re doing. Very good match. Very good length. Very good.

    The Wake Of Defeat
    More goodness from Rob & Tracey. Seriously, I’m excited to see how this feud plays out.

    Eugene Dewey vs. Dusty Griffith
    Damn good ending to a new look DEFIANCE show. This is exactly the sort of pacing the show needs. The ‘Main Event’ doesn’t have to be the biggest and best match on the show, it needs to tell a story, and that’s what this match did. Dusty and Eugene hate each other, so why would their big rematch happen on ‘free’ TV? Eugene gets away with not defending his title and Dusty gets screwed over again.

    So you want my overall thoughts on this show? It’s a step in the right direction. It’s a huge step in the right direction. I got through this in one night, which isn’t something I’ve managed to do in years now. Everything felt like it mattered, and everything felt like it was realistic. There wasn’t much that felt like it wouldn’t be on a TV show, and there was plenty to make people tune in next week.

    The swearing got cut down.

    The crowd noises got all but cut out.

    The insane number of segments per character got reduced.

    THIS is by far one of our best shows ever I think.

    I’m just going to make one more suggestion. The structure of the show doesn’t need to be curtain jerkers at the start, main eventers in the last 3 matches. I’ve been calling for it for years now. I want to see a 15 minute match in the opening slot and a summary match in the 4th slot. Not every week, but every now and then just to mix it up and keep things fresh. I’m positive that we’re all old enough and mature enough to understand if we’re in the first match that doesn’t mean they’re suddenly a curtain jerker.

  15. #15
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    Re: FEEDBACK - DEFtv #53

    [Whispers quietly into the summer breeze, hopes beyond hope.]

    " ... news and propaganda posts, where are you?"


    I also have creative input in: Felton Bigsby, Viking War Cult, Don Hollywood, MDM4 and a few others... #BRAZEN

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