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  1. #1
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    FEEDBACK - AFTERSHOCK: The Revival

    http://www.defiancewrestling.com/results/93

    ALL REPLIES NOT CONTAINING ACTUAL FEEDBACK WILL BE DESTROYED UPON SIGHT




    http://www.defiancewrestling.com/results/93


    Also, did you know that you DON'T have to do a full point by point feedback like some of us do?

    Here's a handy dandy checklist.



    What did we do right?

    What did we do wrong?

    Top Face of the Night?

    Top Heel of the Night?

    On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?

    Favorite Quotes?

    Mark-Out Moments?

    How was the overall reading experience?

    http://www.defiancewrestling.com/results/93
    Last edited by QueenOfTheRing; 03-29-15 at 11:36 AM.
    I'm a Fig Newton of Your Imagination.


    DEFIANCE WRESTLING ~ Stand up. Defy.
    * Dusty Griffith: the Unbreakable Pillar of DEFIANCE
    * Tyrone Walker: the Ol' Man River of DEFIANCE

    RED LINE WRESTLING
    * El Habanero



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  2. #2
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    Re: FEEDBACK - AFTERSHOCK: The Revival

    Deus Ex Machina: What the hell is up Jane’s sleeve? Who is in the limo? What kind of surprises are we in for tonight??

    The Rundown: James mentioned this in the chat, but… wrote it.

    Malachi vs. Masato Ishimaru: Wrote this one too.

    The Trojan Title Shot: Um, what?! Booya vs. Dewey prior to the main event?! Though technically, she says ‘a FIST of DEFIANCE” so maybe she is alluding to someone else? Then, at the end of the segment, she alludes to this not happening. What the hell is Kelly playing at tonight? Hm…

    Temporary Difficulties: So FDJ is down and out… by someone? The guy in the limo maybe? Who the hell knows! As Angus put it, when do you know Team HOSS not to take credit for an asskicking? So it couldn’t be them. Going to put a kink into some plans, that’s for sure.

    Keyes/STT: This is a great match, so much fun. Angus wanting TWO Bell Claps was great. Rapid Fire Running Shoulder Blocks is a great moment, which is funny because I was thinking of how awesome that would be and then I read it like a day later! Angus wanting to take a piss and not being allowed to (oh I died when Angus got pissed at them getting closer to a bathroom then he was able to). Right Trigger on XB1! Seriously, a great match with Keyes getting the huge victory.

    Performance Anxiety: They’ve got pills for that. Anyways, GREAT seg here. My goodness. I love that Billy Pepper has Frank’s phone due to his Twitter war with Noble (um, sorry!). Lexie is watching the show, which leads to the performance anxiety (which, seriously, little blue pills). Ken knocked it out of the park though.

    Matthews/Donovan/Penn: Penn comes out and it looks like he’s not going to wrestle. Not a huge fan of Matthews/Donovan jumping him and Penn almost comes off looking like the face when he gets back in the ring and calls them out for it. Great action throughout the entire match and really fun to watch the dynamic between Matthews + Donovan as they battled one another. Fun match that ends how it should end.

    I’ll Take Those Odds: Oof. Angus is going to be in a world of confusion since HIZBOITAI is now in the match. We’re back up to 3 on 3 and Kelly is reading some papers… all sorts of INTRIGUE going on around here!

    Good Luck Charm: Wrote this. Loving the stuff with Noble/MLM. So much fun to do and so natural now.

    Noble vs. Holiday: So, Ken and I knocked this one. Just gotta say, I got damn lucky to work with Ken during this past arc and part of my first arc here. Damn lucky. A great partner in crime and just someone who gets it, has fun doing it, and is truly an amazing writer and person. And yes, Lindz, the BROMANCE is real. Hope everyone enjoys this match.

    No Power in the ‘Verse Can Stop Me: Oh boy. TROY IS UPSET! YOU GOT SOME ‘SPLAININ’ TO DO! Damn, I dig this. I’m a Troy mark. Have been for a long time. And she fucking had a ‘drop the mic’ moment here. Also, there was a Drake quote, so I’m happy. Plus, she dropped in a Firefly quote at the end. How you can hate on that?!

    Troy/Ryan/Ty vs. Team HOSS: Such a great match. Seth knows how to knock it out of the park and he did so here. So much great back and forth action, playing up what is great about HOSS. Can’t believe we have new champions. That blows my mind. And the post-match stuff? No more HOSS? Jesus fuck.

    Stake the Claim: The next chapter in the Southern Heritage arc. Ken had the idea of the dual perspectives here, so he’s a genius.

    It’s a Celebration, Bitches!: And a Kanye quote. Jesus, Lindz is after my heart. Hilarious seg, farewell to Team HOSS (so weird to think that) and Troy not wanting to celebrate without her boys. Still, she’s got gold around her waist, Walker wants to DRANK and the BAWS is telling them to do so.

    Jonny Booya vs. ?: Claira St. Sure is back. I really don’t remember her? It says three months is how long she’s been gone, but I sure as hell don’t remember her. Gotta. Stop. Drinking. Anyways, Booya got his ass WHOOPED.

    Coming Attraction: DEFMAX IS COMING! DEFMAX IS COMING!

    Dewey vs. Griffith: Dames and James fucking knocked it out of the park. When you know one of them is writing a match, you know you’re about to get a great match. When you get both of them tag teaming the same match? Look out. Great, GREAT action and tension throughout the whole thing. I knew who was going to win and I was STILL not sure. At the end of the day, Dewey getting the victory is a perfect way to merge the titles and put a man who has been working a LONG time on top.

    The Spectacle of Fearsome Acts: Wow. This is how you end a show. I mean, Jesus. So brutal, so unexpected, so well written, and filled with pure venom. Dewey turns on Dusty. Holy shit. The speech after from Dewey laid it out perfectly and was damn near perfect in tone and verbiage. Then, the return of Bronson Box, and HE turns on Dusty. HOLY SHIT! Just so much going on and at the end of the day, Dusty is just destroyed. Jesus. What is coming next?

    What did we do right?

    Everything, just about. From top to bottom, so much good stuff happened. We have three new champions Phenomenal matches throughout the entire card. Amazing promos given by Troy/Dewey/Box and all around phenomenal card.

    What did we do wrong?

    The only thing that felt out of place was the Booya stuff. Just didn’t seem to fit with everything else that was going on. It ended up being it’s own little story that crossed over with nothing else.

    Top Face of the Night?

    Tip my hat to Troy, for being the leader who finally knocked off Team HOSS. That is no easy feat in the least bit. She won a major championship tonight and has much to be proud of including a couple of great segments in addition to the match.

    Top Heel of the Night?

    Eugene Dewey. Merged the titles. Turned on Dusty. And basically said FUCK YOU to just about everyone.

    On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?

    Curtis Penn is right there. Big victory tonight. This upcoming tournament might be the very thing to vault him to the next level. Frank Holiday is right there with him as well.

    Favorite Quotes?

    Too many too count, honestly.

    Angus:
    HE OWES ME TWO. Hey, KEYES! BREAK THIS FUCKER’S SKULL!

    Angus:
    I’m a grown damn man, I can piss whenever I want!

    Quimbey: [on the mic]
    LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IF THE ACTION LOOKS LIKE IT’S COMING TOWARDS YOU, IT IS, GRAB YOUR SHIT AND MOVE!

    Angus:
    Block Keyes, block. It’s right trigger on the XBOX ONE!

    DDK:
    Angus, you might be right, those are Justin work boots and not his shitty little boots!

    Kelly Evans:
    Oh, fuck you guys… [under her breath] I step out of line, one time, and suddenly…

    Lindsay Troy:
    Instead, you’ll be prepping your regrets, because once I get goin’ there’s no power in the ‘Verse can stop me.

    Mark-Out Moments?

    Troy/Ryan/Walker winning the titles.
    Dewey skullfucking Dusty.
    Bronson returns.

    How was the overall reading experience?

    Phenomenal. I mean just phenomenal. The next chapter, with the tournament, and the way things ended tonight leaves much up in the air. This is a great ending to everything that has come before and a great way to kick off the future of DEFIANCE.

  3. #3
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    Re: FEEDBACK - AFTERSHOCK: The Revival

    What did we do right?

    We had yet another early card. Big kudos to everyone. I think we're really hitting our stride with writing timeframe/deadlines now and I'm hopeful we can have another arc like this one. All the newcomers take note and plan accordingly.

    What did we do wrong?

    Personal preference: I would've liked to have seen some of the newcomers take advantage of a hype spot or two. I know some people, like Tracy, Ryan, and Sam, have things planned out a certain way where it wouldn't have made sense to do something on the PPV. Totally fine as far as I'm concerned. Other people, though, it would've been a good way to kickstart things heading into next arc. Not really a big deal, since we weren't scrambling to fill time gaps at the last minute, but something to think about going forward.

    Also, the announcers' booth is off to the side of the stage, not at ringside. Please take note of the arena layouts we post in every run-sheet. They're there for everyone's benefit.

    [SPOILERS FOLLOW AFTER THIS BRACKETED NOTE]

















    This isn't so much a "wrong" thing but I'm going to miss HOSS and Keeling. Thanks, Seth, for being flexible with the many, many changes we saw throughout the Aftershock arc booking.

    Top Face of the Night?

    David Noble

    Top Heel of the Night?

    Dewey

    On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?

    I'd like to see what Malachi can do with a proper feud where Craig isn't doing 100% of the work.

    Keyes is gonna be something. BELLCLAPZ!

    Holiday and Penn are both ready to take the next step forward, too.

    Favorite Quotes?

    Angus:
    DEAR GOD, THEY CAN FLY, TOO?! OUR HOSS OVERLORDS COMMAND THE LAND AND SKY! NOBODY IS SAFE!

    ----------

    [And then, at the moment of fistbump singularity, a loud, piercing Wilhelm Scream comes out of Billy’s lapel.]

    Billy Pepper:
    The hell?

    Frank Holiday:
    I got a text. Gimme my phone.

    ----------

    I'd like to C&P all of Dewey's post-match spot here, but I won't. It was brilliant, though.

    Mark-Out Moments?

    I kinda called the CSS thing in a conversation with James but it was nice to see another Ed White-related loose end tied off. Does this mean Diane Parker's coming back too?

    How was the overall reading experience?

    Another solid read. I see Craig's point about the Booya stuff but I'm alright with it because it wraps that story up more immediately than only leaving it to a news post or waiting until next arc. The transitions were good again. Minor continuity things are gonna happen but giving things a second/third read-through before posting has helped to mitigate them substantially.

    Nice job, kids. Onto DEFMAX!

  4. #4
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    Re: FEEDBACK - AFTERSHOCK: The Revival

    What did we do right?

    The easier question to ask would be...


    What did we do wrong?

    ...this. I'm with the others who said that the Jonny Booya stuff seemed a little out of place, but if Lee's really back with CSS, then that's a rather minute complaint. Beyond that, this was probably our best card to date.


    Top Face of the Night?

    Tie between Lindsay Troy and her settling her war with Team HOSS, David Noble: Redeemed Man, and CSS: Return of the Queen.


    Top Heel of the Night?

    Eugene Dewey and Bronson Box. God. Damn. THAT'S a two-man powertrip if there ever was one.


    On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?

    David Noble has already broken out. Both Keyes and STT2 are on the bubble, and I'm helluva impressed with the bounds by which Turner has improved as a character. He could be back to competing for gold very soon.


    Favorite Quotes?

    Who cares? Let Keyes recover, let #GINGERFIGHT continue!

    Quimbey: [on the mic]
    LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IF THE ACTION LOOKS LIKE IT’S COMING TOWARDS YOU, IT IS, GRAB YOUR SHIT AND MOVE!

    Angus:
    Who’d have thought that Dan Ryan had an Oprah Moment in him?

    DDK:
    Huh?

    Angus:
    YOU GET A BIG BOOT! AND YOU GET A BIG BOOT!

    CSS:
    Now, accept that, and you go on outta here, an maybe once you come to terms with it, you can be somethin more than that. Now, as you’d say… git outta hurr boahi.



    Mark-Out Moments?

    The return of Claira St. Sure, Eugene Dewey's heel turn and breaking bread with Bronson Box, that EPIC Keyes/Turner match.


    How was the overall reading experience?

    With the exception of the Booya stuff, practically flawless. Just straight up amazeballs.
    DEFIANCE WRESTLING
    -"The God-Beast" Mushigihara (w/ Eddie Dante)

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  5. #5
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    Re: FEEDBACK - AFTERSHOCK: The Revival

    DEUS EX MACHINA
    So much intrigue and now the right AND left hands of the devil are back in DEFIANCE, but who is with them?!


    THE RUNDOWN
    Craig with the snazzy details in this opener, well done dude. The little opening montage and the signs in the crowd, nifty stuff.

    MASATO ISHIMARU v MALACHI
    Craig is a gorram saint for giving Ishimaru as much offense as he got. Sorry to be a dick, I like ya Aaron, but you completely left Craig hanging to do everything for you without so much as a heads up. This was a nifty little match to start the show, so all creds and such go to Craig, natch.

    THE TROJAN TITLE SHOTI don’t care what Lee thinks, Jonny Booya is awesome, people love the character, and if he don’t want him, I’ll do something with him in the future.

    TEMPORARY DIFFICULTIES
    I wrote this.

    FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE: HENRY KEYES v SAMUEL T. TURNER II
    Holy fuck balls, dudes. Nailed it. The commentary was stellar, loved how you ran with the Angus has to take a piss thing through the whole match. DAT SUPERPLEX TO THE FLOOR DOE! Seriously, well done.

    PERFORMANCE ANXIETY
    Really dug this segment from start to finish, even though I almost mindfucked Ken into adding a bit to it that ultimately proved unnecessary.

    TROY MATTHEWS v JAKE DONOVAN v CURTIS PENN
    This was a fun match start to finish. It had everything it needed. Penn being a chickenshit heel? CHECK! Troy and Jake trying to use teamwork? CHECK! Troy and Jake turning on each other every so often? CHECK! Curtis Penn capitalizing on an errant move that takes one of them out before he snakes the win? CHECK! Awesome stuff. Jesus, this show is only three matches in and it’s probably the best all around show we’ve done.

    I’LL TAKE THOSE ODDS
    I halped write this with mom.

    GOOD LUCK CHARM
    More sappy goodness.


    SOHER TITLE: FRANK HOLIDAY © v DAVID NOBLE
    OOOOOH YEAH! It’s time to rock and roll mothafuggas!... Oooh wow, Frank hits the finish SUPER EARLY… EPIC! Seriously. I couldn’t even stop to do notes like I tend to do, this match had my attention locked in except for the “live tweets” I was doing via Ty’s account… Just another MOTN for this show, Craig got called out for the match a few weeks ago, told he had to step his game up to follow it and he lapped that motherfucker from a few weeks ago several times. Outstanding effort.


    NO POWER IN THE VERSE CAN STOP ME
    Mom was all in her head about whether this worked or not, like it might be pushing too many buttons or something. Took me, Craig AND Justin to convince her this was bad ass. My logic was Troy should be pissed off and ready to fight, so she should clearly be looking to warn the rest of DEFIANCE just who in the fuck she is. Then later on, the segment after the match, makes sense with her melancholic type deflation that it wasn’t with Rayne and Elliott.


    TRIOS TITLES: TEAM HOSS © v LT, DR, & TY
    BOOM! Seth went all out for his last hurrah in DEFIANCE (for the time being). Just a really fun match start to finish and it ends HOSS’ run in DEFIANCE perfectly, being taken down by a trio of former World Champs/Hall of Famers… Just want to say good luck to Seth with his BIG RUN that’s about to start in jOlt and obviously, hope that when he can, he returns to DEFIANCE full force someday. Also… Thanks to Lindz and Brunk for being down for having Ty join the team last minute like this.

    STAKE THE CLAIM
    Yeah, fuck that bitch… Daaaaaaaaaaag, Mushi fucking shit up.


    ITS A CELEBRATION, BITCHES!
    I halped write this with mom.


    JONNY BOOYA v CLAIRA ST. SURE
    Short, sweet, closes a thread, and hopefully gets Lee rolling again.

    COMING ATTRACTION
    DEFMAX on the way, here... we... go!


    WINNER TAKES ALL: DUSTY GRIFFITH © v EUGENE DEWEY ©
    Wrote most of this with the big assist from Dames on plotting the course so I could just focus on writing it.

    THE SPECTACLE OF FEARSOME ACTS
    I’m not going to say a lot, just that Evan and Dames absolutely killed the holy fuck outta this. So much so that it reinvigorated my interest in Dusty for when he returns from this violent assault.


    What did we do right?
    Everything, IMO.

    What did we do wrong?
    This question implies we did something wrong, hah, fools!

    Top Face of the Night?
    David Noble.

    Top Heel of the Night?
    Eugene Dewey.

    On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?
    Any combo of Matthews, Donovan, Mushi, or even CSS on her return.

    Favorite Quotes?
    DDK:
    That could have turned ugly for Masato right there!

    Angus:
    Sadly, it didn’t.

    DDK:
    Don’t sound so disappointed.

    Angus:
    This is only like a fifth of my disappointment. It can grow.

    DDK:
    Sounds like what you say after you pull off your pants to a disappointed girl.

    =/=

    Angus:
    That’s it, I’m going to piss!

    DDK:
    Angus you can’t you have to call the match!

    Angus:
    I’m a grown damn man, I can piss whenever I want!

    DDK:
    Not according to…

    Angus:
    Fine, I’m sitting down.

    =/=

    Quimbey: [on the mic]
    LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IF THE ACTION LOOKS LIKE IT’S COMING TOWARDS YOU, IT IS, GRAB YOUR SHIT AND MOVE!

    [Turner stomps Keyes and starts parting the chairs like the Red Sea.]

    Angus:
    That’s not brain surgery now is it Quimbey?

    DDK:
    He had to say it so no fan is injured.

    Angus:
    If they don’t move for either of these guys they deserve to be squashed like a Vegas hooker after midnight.

    =/=

    [Turner has regained control of the match. He grabs a handful of raw wieners and stuffs them into Keyes’ mouth.]

    Turner:
    JUST YOUR TYPICAL FRIDAY NIGHT, HUH KEYES?

    [Turner grabs Keyes behind the head and continuously forearms Keyes in the jaw. Without thinking, Keyes launches his entire fist into Turner’s nuts, dropping him to his knees.]

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    DDK:
    Can you believe Turner had the gall to put those wieners in Keyes’ mouth and then make the derogatory statement?

    Angus:
    Oh yes I can, I even chuckled a little. This is the same douche that talked about the Holocaust on DEFtv #47. Keyes hasn’t BELL CLAPPED yet, so he deserves it as far as I care!

    DDK:
    Yeah, so I guess Turner really is a dick now.

    Angus:
    Only ‘cause Keyes may’ve just shoved it inside his body with that low blow.

    =/=

    DDK:
    Mother--

    Angus:
    Hey, watch your mouth. I'm the foul mouthed one around here!

    =/=

    Angus:
    DEAR GOD, THEY CAN FLY, TOO?! OUR HOSS OVERLORDS COMMAND THE LAND AND SKY! NOBODY IS SAFE!

    Mark-Out Moments?
    Superplex to the Floor. The whole SOHER match. Everything after the Main Event ended. Lindsay Troy’s pre-match promo.

    How was the overall reading experience?
    Outstanding, easy, fun, etc.
    Last edited by SenorJames; 03-29-15 at 07:02 PM.
    I'm a Fig Newton of Your Imagination.


    DEFIANCE WRESTLING ~ Stand up. Defy.
    * Dusty Griffith: the Unbreakable Pillar of DEFIANCE
    * Tyrone Walker: the Ol' Man River of DEFIANCE

    RED LINE WRESTLING
    * El Habanero



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  6. #6
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    Re: FEEDBACK - AFTERSHOCK: The Revival

    What did we do right?
    Card was well put together with little to no magic teleportation. Short answer would be we did a LOT right on this card. Main thing for me was some of the awesome build on the main page. The stuff from Eugene, Dusty, Noble, Ty, Booya. Love love loved all that stuff man, I'm a sucker for a good character building off show segments.


    What did we do wrong?
    I don't feel as strongly about the Booya segments. He's such a strong character and I trust Lee so I'm still 100% on board with anything from our resident Duke Nukem clone. As far as wrong? This is always a hard one for me. We literally put this huge puzzle together from scratch via text messages each card, its amazing it gets produced as flawlessly as it does. We've finally really grown into the angled era I think. The inter-connectivity of all our characters and storylines, the arena we've created, the world building we've done. I have pretty much zero complaints.


    Top Face of the Night?
    Noble and Troy. There's a babyface vacuum now and we have a killer crop of babyfaces characters to pull from to fill it. Can't wait to see these guys, Holiday all progress going forward.


    Top Heel of the Night?
    My boy Damien kicked that post match promos butthole in. You guys know what a promo junkie I am. Mean, old school, coped the right attitude. I'm really excited to work with Dames.

    EugeBox gunna' getcha'.


    On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?
    I'm going with Holiday. The character work, all that tense post match stuff. Noble is the perfect character to step into that "SoHer title batting box" because Ken is straight killin' it. The character growth Holiday is going through shows why Frank is on the cusp of the main event.


    Favorite Quotes?
    I intentionally skimmed Damien's promo in our doc, just got the jist, because I wanted to really read it when the show was finished and posted. Like I said above. I looooooove old school wrestling promos. Love. It's the genesis of Boxer, it's why I still play this game. So believe me when I say, shit like Eugene's heel turn make my day.


    Mark-Out Moments?
    Honestly? Like what part of this whole process made me physically heart fluttery and excited? Working on the golden slot segment. I stepped away when I did at a reeeeeal low point in my life. I really felt shitty leaving Lee and James and the guys all in the lurch like I did right in the middle of all the Blood Diamonds stuff. But anyway, life got better and I started enjoying farting in the Ed White toybox more and more. The golden slot promo and the beatdown of Dusty was the first bit of Bronson'ing I'd done in months and months, writing it all up, letting Justin and James and Damien read through it. Getting as excited and being as happy with the results as I still get after playing this game almost non-stop for well over a decade. I'm so fuckin' glad Justin told me to be patient bringing back Boxer because this was a fantastic experience from start to finish. I marked for this whole process.


    How was the overall reading experience?




    I also have creative input in: Felton Bigsby, Viking War Cult, Don Hollywood, MDM4 and a few others... #BRAZEN

  7. #7
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    Re: FEEDBACK - AFTERSHOCK: The Revival

    What did we do right? Pretty much everything. More specifically, the wrapping up of certain angles/feuds, while starting and continuing others that needed to be started/continued. I loved it all. I'll get into it more in a bit.

    What did we do wrong? Um...nothing major that I can think of right this minute.

    Top Face of the Night? Eugene Dewey, right until the final segment of course. On the whole, I'll go with Noble.

    Top Heel of the Night? Eugene Dewey and Bronson Boxer. Oh, man.

    On the Bubble / Who is about to break out? Definitely Holiday. Honestly, I feel like everytime you see someone lose a title, they're right on the verge of making a real impact (in "real" wrestling and in efedding). The hunt is often more thrilling than the actual capture, y'know? Whether he goes for a rematch or finds himself moving to a new division, I'm very interested to see where Holiday goes from here.

    Favorite Quotes? Too many to list them all, but I loved a lot of Angus' witty one-liners, as well as pretty much the whole of that final promo.

    Mark-Out Moments? Again, that final segment was probably the perfect way to wrap up this PPV, and this PPV was a great way to wrap up stories like Team HOSS, etc.

    How was the overall reading experience? Very pleasant. Very grateful to be a part of this fed, and now I'm super excited to be getting things started in the next arc!

  8. #8
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    Re: FEEDBACK - AFTERSHOCK: The Revival

    Deus Ex Machina:
    I always thought Jane Katze was supposed to be someone who was past her prime looks wise. Has that never been the case or have I just read too much into her micro? I know who’s in the limo, but if I didn’t I’d sure as hell want to know.

    The Rundown:
    Not feeling the voice over too much tbh. It just seemed… forced? Is that word? I kind of seemed like the words should have some profound meaning but they kind of missed the mark. Rundown of the show was on point though.

    Malachi vs. Masato Ishimaru:
    Yeah, if I was writing this Malachi would have annihilated Masato and that would have been all she wrote. There was way more back and force than I was expecting here and that made this a nice little opener. Time for us to see more of Malachi elsewhere on the card me thinks.

    The Trojan Title Shot:
    Well there has to be something in that ‘a FIST of DEFIANCE’ comment and it not being ‘the FIST of DEFIANCE’. I can see how Jonny might go getting a little bit confused there.

    Temporary Difficulties:
    I thought LT and Dan Ryan would have a hand in this segment. After all, they’re teaming with FDJ later, it would make sense. As it is it makes sense, but I would definitely like to have seen LT and DR involved in some capacity.

    Keyes/STT:
    This was damn good if a bit sweary in places. I definitely don’t think Quimbey would tell the folks to ‘grab your shit and move’. The Drew Siler reference as well… Nice. I was fully expecting the ending with the superplex to the outside, but the rebound discus bell clap (which is how I read the ending) was also pretty gosh darn good.

    Good work guys.

    Performance Anxiety:
    Frank and Billy are fantastic. I never want to see them apart.

    Matthews/Donovan/Penn:
    I absolutely adore the Bob Orton Cast gimmick. Like Justin said in the radio show, I hope Curtis has this on his arm for two years. It fits in perfectly with the character and give him something to both bitch about and big himself up over.

    Jake and Troy make sense together, but… I dunno, I just find it so hard to care about them. Jakes record is far than stellar, and Troy has been on the bubble before but that popped from under him and he seems to be in free fall ever since. I loved Lash Graham, I thought he was so much more interesting to both read and write than Jake, and I’m a huge fan of Mushi, who I really think Rob needs to invest more time and effort in and make his main and demote Troy to his alt.

    I know I’ve basically said what was said on the EFG show, but that’s genuinely how I’ve felt for a while, and that show has just given me the push to actually say it knowing others feel things along the same lines.

    Correct result here though.

    I’ll Take Those Odds:
    At first I thought LT and DR would be fuming that they’d lost Frank, but the more I thought about it the more their reaction made sense. They’re not heels, they’re not going to be hopping mad and proclaiming that the match shouldn’t still be happening or that they demand HOSS forfeit the belts or that HOSS shouldn’t be allowed 3 members.

    I’d still rather have seen LT and DR in the segment earlier, which could have meant the seg started a little stronger than “Oh, I heard we might be kinda sorta down a guy maybe?”

    Good Luck Charm:
    Maybe it’s just me but I’m still not feeling this angle as much as others.

    I thought it was gonna be David Noble stealing Lexi from Frank and ditching Mary-Lynn in the process, but that’s looking less and less likely as time goes by. Also I prefer my sap on pancakes as opposed to wrestling shows.

    Maybe that’s just me, I mean, I’ve never really enjoyed a feud over a woman.

    All that stuff a few years ago when AJ pinballed around between Bryan, Punk, Cena and Ziggler? Meh, I could have done without that.

    Matt Hardy vs Edge was probably the best feud over a woman and that’s because it was real (to me dammit), which I why I was excited for ‘Damn, David stole my girl’ - Everyone, but like I said, that seems to be getting further and further from happening.

    Noble vs. Holiday:
    Oh my am I a sucker for an early finisher and this match had two of them. Plenty of near falls, plenty of drama, plenty of action. Very, very good match. I know the intention is for Frank to move up now, so I’m really interested to see who can move in an fill the SoHer division now that some of the previous major players have moves out of it.

    No Power in the ‘Verse Can Stop Me:
    LT cut a bad ass muhfuggin promo right there. No complaints, no improvements, no nothing. Just excellent work right there.

    Troy/Ryan/Ty vs. Team HOSS:
    I’m gonna say it, Seth > Bret Hart. Seth actually went out on his back and the unbeatable champs who have run roughshod over DEFIANCE for so long finally get their comeuppance at the hands of three top stars. All in one hell of a match as well.

    Again, no complaints, no problems, no nothing, just funsies.

    Stake the Claim:
    Well this seg started off better than I could have ever imagined. I hope that’s it for Lexi. If she’s not going to be riding the Noble Express then I hope we don’t see her or her negative ass ever again.

    I still don’t get why Frank would be with her in the first place though. Unless it was purely because of Dat Ass or something.

    I got jarred at one point as everything switched to past tense, but other than that my question of who’s gonna move into the SoHer division get answered, which I’m more than happy about.

    It’s a Celebration, Bitches!:
    I like it a lot. I was wondering how the Good Guys were gonna be out of the way for what’s to come, and there’s the answer. Also LT gets to show a slightly more human side to her. Allllllllll good.

    Jonny Booya vs. ?:
    The radio show makes it sound like any feedback I give this will fall on deaf ears.

    Coming Attraction:
    Disgonbegud.gif

    Dewey vs. Griffith:
    James wrote the fuck out of this match. If I’d had more time I’d have done more than planned the thing and listed out the moves, but James filled this out like Ty Walker fills out Kelly Evans. It’s been a long time coming, but the last thing I’m gonna do now is drop the ball.

    The Spectacle of Fearsome Acts:
    See?

    I wasn’t sure about Eugene turning heel. I haven’t rolled him as a bad guy yet, so I’m not sure how I’m going to play it. Everyone seems to have a different idea though, so I think it’s going to end up just being whatever feels natural.

    The promo though, there’s aspects of me in there, no doubt. I feel like I’ve been on the bubble for so long that I wanted to knock this one out of the park when my time finally came around. but I’m sure that’s how Eugene’s feeling as well. Everything he’s been through has been to help DEFIANCE and he’s never really had the acknowledgement that others have had.

    Well now he’s out there grabbing it for himself and he’s finally gonna be a little bit selfish rather than selfless.

    Also Box returning? AWWWWWW YIS Muhfuggingbreadcrumbs!

  9. #9
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    Re: FEEDBACK - AFTERSHOCK: The Revival

    DEUS EX MACHINA
    I love the tangible mistrust that exists between Kelly Evans and Jane Katze. This thread should continue on for a while. It is, in a way, a spinoff of the Dane/White relationship we've already seen before, but somehow this feels like a different and new dynamic. It's interesting.


    THE RUN-DOWN
    The opening montage and voiceover worked fine for me -- if the PPV is called Aftershock, then the metaphors kind of write themselves. Good rundown as usual.


    MASATO ISHIMARU vs. MALACHI
    Like others have said, a far, far more competitive match than it deserved to be. Craig is always super generous as a match writer, though. Here's hoping he finds a good angle partner for Malachi going forward.


    THE TROJAN TITLE SHOT
    I admit I didn't catch onto the "a" FIST of DEFIANCE wordplay at first, so the reveal later on actually did surprise me. I must be as dumb as Jonny Booya. I'm not sure if Booya was the victim of being the odd man out when the whole arc had to be rebooked, or if this was an intended endgame to take him out of action for a while, but he felt adrift here. I still love me some angry, dumbshit Booya, though.


    TEMPORARY DIFFICULTIES
    Knowing who is eventually revealed to be the one to take out FDJ, this works for me as a piece of misdirection. You think the point was to put Lindsay Troy's team at a disadvantage against Team HOSS, but in the end it seems like that was purely collateral damage. But it also leads to an eleventh-hour replacement that actually turns things against the World Trios Champions. I'm still chewing on the motivations here, but definitely interesting stuff.


    HENRY KEYES vs SAMUEL T. TURNER THE SECOND
    This was pure awesome and win. I've said before I'm a HYOOJ mark for brawls that go all over the arena, and this one totally delivered on the carnage you'd expect from these two bruisers. Quimbey warning fans to get the hell out of the way was unexpected, but damn it, I laughed. I didn't get the Drew Siler reference, must be before my time. Wieners in Keyes's mouth -- "JUST YOUR TYPICAL FRIDAY NIGHT" -- hah! Superplex to the floor?! Daaaamn. Great finish with a rebounding roaring BELL CLAP! I loved the match.


    PERFORMANCE ANXIETY
    I wroted this.


    TROY MATTHEWS vs JAKE DONOVAN vs CURTIS PENN
    Out of these three, Penn is still the character who manages most consistently to demonstrate a strong sense of personality. The cast gimmick is a great touch for this arc, and him managing to squeak out the win should hopefully position him for a good push or a solid feud going forward.


    As for the post-match, I hope it means Troy Matthews and Jake Donovan will launch into a focused feud that will hopefully give them both some direction.


    I'LL TAKE THOSE ODDS
    Lindsay Troy and Dan Ryan go to the Pleasure Dome and get themselves a ringer to fill out their team, none other than Blackimus Prime himself. As much as I like the last-minute fill-in by Ty Walker, I can't help noticing how casual and unperturbed LT and Ryan are about the possibility of going into the trios match one member short. Considering how damned unbeatable Team HOSS has been as a group up to now, and how Troy already lost a trios match against them on DEFtv, you'd think this would be a bigger deal to her. The whole attitude of the seg just felt too indifferent and 'whatev' given the stakes.


    GOOD LUCK CHARM
    I'm a big fan of Craig's work this arc. What I most appreciated with this seg -- and this was not really planned, but it just sort of happened, like many great things do -- was how it paralleled "Performance Anxiety" earlier on. In both cases you have the competitor in an unfocused mental state going into the Southern Heritage Championship match, and their respective confidants helping them center themselves and get their heads right. The story all along has been about what Holiday and Noble need in their lives to feel capable to reach success, what their support systems bring to bear, and you have a clear dichotomy between Frank and his shitty girlfriend on one hand, and David and the loving Mary-Lynn on the other. All of which culminates at last in...


    SOUTHERN HERITAGE TITLE - DAVID NOBLE vs FRANK HOLIDAY (C)
    Craig outdoes himself again with this one, with only a wee bit of help from this guy, mainly in the climax and post-match bit. This has been a hugely fulfilling angle to run with Craig and I've enjoyed the hell out of it. Noble deservedly stands tall as the NEW SoHer Champion!


    NO POWER IN THE 'VERSE CAN STOP ME
    So this was a powerful, character defining promo by Lindsay Troy, and it more than makes up for the too-coolness of the previous seg. She issues her mission statement, throws a shout out to Tyler Rayne and Wade Elliott, and promises hell to pay on Team HOSS. Being that this really is HER fight, I don't mind that Dan Ryan and Ty Walker stood aside and let her take centre stage. She came across as the Big Damn Hero she needed to be. Excellent work.


    WORLD TRIOS TITLES - LINDSAY TROY, DAN RYAN, TY WALKER vs TEAM HOSS (C)
    Greeeeat clusterfucky style match! This is the blowoff that DEFIANCE wanted and needed. LT runs wild, Walker runs wild, Ryan runs wild, Team HOSS are their usual imposing, arrogant selves. I particularly marked for this line after Angel Trinidad dives out of the ring onto MUHBOITAI:


    Angus:
    DEAR GOD, THEY CAN FLY, TOO?! OUR HOSS OVERLORDS COMMAND THE LAND AND SKY! NOBODY IS SAFE!


    Perfectly satisfying finish with Ryan and Troy going all Captain Planet and letting their powers combine to take out Capital Punishment for the pinfall. NEW WORLD TRIOS CHAMPS! And in the time-honored tradition of the dastardly villains getting their just desserts in the end, Kelly Evans gets to expose that nonsense with the drug tests and kick Junior Keeling and his boys out of DEFIANCE. Couldn't ask for a better end to this long-running title reign.


    STAKE THE CLAIM
    I wrote the first part, Craig wrote the second part, and the Mushigihara attack was a joint effort. What I was going for with Frank here was, despite being at a personal low point at this moment, he was still able to recapture his dignity and kick Lexi to the curb. I will say that I meant to write an RP with Lindz weeks ago that would've explained the history with Frank and Lexi, and maybe helped to show why this was such a struggle for Frank. Unfortunately I dropped the ball on that and it never happened.


    Mushi's brutal assault on the new and former SoHer Champions sets him up perfectly as the Next Big Thing in the division.


    IT'S A CELEBRATION, BITCHES!
    Nice little aftermath segment here following up on the World Trios Championship match. Team HOSS are exiled in disgrace, the winners gon' get their party on, Troy exhibiting a very different, but welcome, human moment because her usual crew weren't there to be part of it. Liked this a lot.


    JONNY BOOYA vs CLAIRA ST. SURE
    So like I said, I didn't get the bait-and-switch over "a" FIST of DEFIANCE until Kelly Evans spelled it out for Jonny Booya (and me), so hey, nicely done. I was sorry when Lee put CSS on the shelf a while ago, and I was happy to see her come back here, which I hope is not just a one-shot thing. But Booya's gone now? Boooooo.


    COMING ATTRACTION
    #DEFMAX BABY!


    DEFIANCE TITLE UNIFICATION - EUGENE DEWEY (C) vs DUSTY GRIFFITH (C)
    Truly a James-Damien (Jamien? Dames?) joint in all the best ways. You need to make it epic if you're going to pit your two top babyfaces in a title unification match, and this delivered 100%. Taking a cue from the interview that was posted just before the show went up, you feel the mutual respect between Griffith and Dewey, but you also know neither of these guys is going to give an inch to the other. Excellent match from start to finish, and speaking of the finish, did anyone else picture Eugene engulfed in flames and a combo meter going berserk when he hit his Super Dragon Punch? Major props to you guys. Eugene Dewey is your NEW UNIFIED FIST OF DEFIANCE!


    THE SPECTACLE OF FEARSOME ACTS
    Even in defeat, Dusty is all class and respect when he hands over the two title belts to Eugene (contrast that to Frank Holiday's sour grapes earlier... haha). And then... SWERVE! Dusty gets a beatdown! Turns out Eugene has been keeping his feelings bottled up all this time and he pulls an EPIC NERD HEEL TURN! I always think back to Mick Foley's theory on heel psychology: no matter how fucked up the heel's actions are, he must always believe he's right. Eugene Dewey's turn here is a shining example of this principle in action. Every single one of his grievances is true for him, and the end result follows organically from that. Full disclosure, when I heard a rumor that this was going to happen, I didn't think it would work. Well, I was wrong. It was perfectly executed, and Bronson Box making his shocking return to back up Eugene's position was a great way to sell it. Now you've got a formidable pair of main event level heels to lord over DEFIANCE, a broken hero and former champion, and pleeeenty of storyline potential going forward.


    Awesome show, everybody!
    DEFIANCE WRESTLING
    Frank Holiday - 2015 DEF*MAX Grand Prix Champion, 1x Southern Heritage Champion
    Twitter (IC): @FrankHolidayDEF

    RED LINE WRESTLING
    Hittora
    Twitter (IC): @Hittora_SINGS

    Google Drive: positivelyken@gmail.com
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    PSN: PositivelyKen
    Twitter (OOC): @PositivelyKen

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