The mask afforded me anonymity. In a business where everyone you've ever wrestled could potentially threaten everyone you've ever known, wearing a mask was liberating. All I'd need is someone talking about Rosie and he's under my skin.

Wearing the mask - my opponents have to deal with me. Just me. No face, no voice, no history, no legacy, no potential or potential squandered. Just me and my ability in the ring.

Tonight, the mask hurt like hell as I pulled it off. Almost immediately, blood dripped from the side of my head onto the floor below. I either didn't notice the small dark stain on the side of my already - crimson mask, or I was in denial about it, but from the feel, the blood had already dried and coagulated into my mask, and tore again when I took it off.

It hurt like hell. Not as much as landing on that table did, but like the table, not something I want to go through again if I can help it.

He told me a long time ago, forget ice. Get a clean towel, soak it in ice water, and hold it up to whatever's bleeding. It must be common knowledge, because even though I can sense people all around me in the locker room, nobody's even paused in front of the skinny rookie with the soaking towel draped across his head from the nostrils up.

The soaking towel is also doing a good job of keeping most of the ambient noise out of my ears, which is a good time to mention why this is so significant.

I haven't won a single match yet.

That, in and of itself, doesn't concern me. He also said wins and losses don't matter. You can lose a hundred matches in a row, if the fans give a crap about you then they won't remember those hundred - they'll just remember match number 101 - the victory. What concerns me is that I've gotten close, every time out so far, but I can't seal the deal.

I'm not worried about being asked to leave. Miles has told me he likes what I'm doing, and that I'm free to find my niche at my own speed, but I'm also impatient and an absolute perfectionist.

Something has to change. Something has to move. But I don't think I can find it here.

I need to get back to basics. I need to go home and try to find what's missing, and find it fast enough to be back in time for Wrestle Stock.

Because I'm not going to miss Wrestle Stock. No way, no how.

I hope I've stopped bleeding by then.