DT: Well fellas, let’s get right to it. Tony Fatora is in the ring and THIS…is the MAIN EVENT!! Take it away Tony!!!
TONY FATORA: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your main event for the evening, and is a SIX PERSON TAG TEAM MATCH!!
Introducing first
[CUE UP: “Ride of the Valkyries” as, to a huge chorus of boos, the Highland Park Social Club step out onto the stage]
TONY FATORA: From Highland Park, Illinois, they are the current Empire Pro Wrestling World Tag Team Champions… RICHARD FARNSWIRTH… CHIP FRIENDLY… and SLAMBO THE CLOWN… THE HIGHLAND PARK… SOCIAL CLUB!!
DT: Here we are, main event time, and after last week this match is going to be intense to say the least.
DM: A lot of history between Farnswirth and Troy exists, but tonight she’s got Cruise and Melton to back her up after the Entourage walked out on her last week.
TONY FATORA: And their opponents…
[CUE UP: “Chip Away The Stone” by Aerosmith as, to a HUGE reaction, Lindsay Troy steps out onto the rampway, her World Title around her waist, with Cameron Cruise and Joey Melton on either side, flanking her]
TONY FATORA: They consist of the former World Tag Team Champions, and the current reigning WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… ladies and gentleman… CAMERON CRUISE… JOEY MELTON… and the Queen of the Ring… LINDSAY… TROY!!!
DT: And here they go! Lindsay Troy just sprinting down the aisle, dropping her belt on the way and firing right hands at Farnswirth! Melton and Cruise in quickly, and all six are going at it before the bell can even sound!! Melton going at it with Friendly, Slambo with Cruise, and Lindsay just knocked Farnswirth down with a kick to the head!
MN: How are we supposed to call this match?
DM: With difficulty and because we’re paid for it. Troy with Farnswirth back up as Cruise just gets LEVELLED with a clothesline from Slambo. The referee trying to get some semblance of order in there, as Slambo tosses Cruise to the outside! Following him out, and a BIG double axe-handle across the back! Troy with Farnswirth against the ropes… CLOTHESLINE takes them both out of there! More referees are coming down to try and break Slambo and Cruise and Troy and Farnswirth up as we’re left with Melton and Friendly in the ring.
DT: The referee signalling the start of this match but there’s already been a lot of action! Chip Friendly with the Irish whip, reversed by Melton, BACK body drop takes him down and the friendly one just rolls to the outside! Joey Melton last one standing in the ring as Lindsay and Cameron now are making their way to their corner, and the Highland Park Social Club is holding a conference on the outside.
DM: The Club weren’t expecting Troy and the Project to come at them so suddenly, as evidenced by the fact Farnswirth was facing Slambo at the time.
MN: Yeah – Mrs Windham should be ashamed of herself!
DT: I don’t know about that, but Joey Melton’s back in his corner waiting on one of the HSPC to get into the ring. It looks like Richard Farnswirth is going to start, sliding back into the ring – and he’s pointing at Lindsay! The crowd are lapping it up as they’re practically joining Lindsay in begging for the tag.
MN: She begs for more from her husband.
DM: His death?
MN: It does begin with D, yes.
DM: Mike can spell – I never knew.
DT: Joey Melton is pointing at Troy, asking Richard Farnswirth if he really wants her in the ring… THERE’S THE TAG! Lindsay Troy vaulting over the ropes, ready to go… and Farnswirth tags in Chip Friendly?
DM: The crowd do not like that, but it’s a smart strategy. He’s trying to get her off her game, as she goes straight for him! Chip Friendly lets her get past, but PLANTS her with a release German suplex!
DT: Chip Friendly picking the champ up, connecting with a knee to the gut, and an Irish Whip straight into his own corner! The referee telling Farnswirth and Slambo to back off, as Friendly drives the elbow into the side of the head! Brings her out of the corner, scoop up and slam down. Quick elbow drop
One
TWO
Easy kickout there at two by the champion, as Friendly reaches up and tags in Slambo!
DM: Already we’re seeing good firm strategy from the Highland Park Social Club. I don’t know if targeting Lindsay is the best strategy, but get whoever you can, keep the fresh man in, and wear down your opponent is the cornerstone of tag team wrestling.
DT: And when you get someone like Slambo deciding to club away on you it’s going to wear you down that much quicker. Slambo with Troy up, sends her off the ropes, and a hard shoulder block takes her down!
MN: She’ll never be able to compete, she should be at Troy Windham’s doing the dishes or something! In a maids outfit!
DT: I am still shocked she didn’t kill you in the back. Slambo living up to his name here as he shoves Lindsay back into the corner, driving his knee into her gut. Tags in Friendly again, who just puts the boots in! Irish whip off the ropes, Lindsay Troy under the clothesline, back on the rebound LEG LARIAT! Lindsay Troy takes Chip Friendly down with a leg lariat and quickly tags in Cameron Cruise, who takes the smiling one down with a drop toe-hold! Floatover, into a hammerlock, and he’s wisely keeping an eye on Slambo and Farnswirth on the far side.
DM: Cruise is no slouch in there, as he’s cinched that hammerlock in nicely, but the match is still young.
DT: Cruise bringing Friendly to his feet, still with the hammerlock applied, and just clubs him across the shoulders!
MN: Ewww… that looked wrong when Chip fell forward.
DM: You make it too easy, Mike. Cruise switching into a side headlock, trying to wrench the neck of Friendly, but Chip quickly takes him off the ropes.
DT: Shoulder block by Cruise takes Friendly down. Cruise back off the ropes, Friendly over the top – and he starts running the other ropes! Criss-cross action here as neither seems able or willing to launch an attack!
DM: Was that a tag by Farnswirth?
DT: Cruise still running, KNEELIFT by Richard Farnswirth coming in off the blind tag! Cruise went down hard there, as Farnswirth and Friendly start to put the boots in.
MN: That’s the way to do it! Get him!
DT: Calm down, Mike. Friendly now to the ring apron, and we get our first look at Richard Farnswirth in this match. Farnswirth with a fist drop
One
TWO!
Kickout at two by Cruise, but Farnswirth still applying the pressure and not letting up as he nails Cruise with a measured right before trying to get to his feet.
DM: Richard Farnswirth now with Cruise up, and takes him down with a snapmare there, picking him up part way and twisting his neck. This move was very popular in British wrestling back in the seventies and eighties, and whilst it doesn’t look all that punishing, done right it can tear the muscles either side of the neck. If that happens it’s all over.
DT: And Cruise is feeling the effects of it right now, as he’s trying to get his arm round for an elbow to the gut but the twisting motion on his neck is too great.
DM: Exactly. This hold can really wear someone down. Hurt their neck and they instinctively move a lot more gingerly around the ring. And it shifts very nicely into another snap mare, just like that one.
DT: Richard Farnswirth with Cameron Cruise in a lot of trouble right now, going for the cover NO! HE’S CHOKING HIM!
MN: YES!
DT: Richard Farnswirth breaks the hold before the referee can count to five, looking at him as if to ask what he did wrong! Come on, he’s knows full well, and Lindsay Troy on the outside is just staring straight through him!
DM: And he knows it, smiling back as he leans in and starts choking Cameron again!
DT: And again breaking it before the count of five! Joey Melton shouting at the ref as the ref shouts at Farnswirth, and so far the Highland Park Social Club has had it pretty much all their own way after that pre-match exchange.
DM: And Farnswirth again going for the choke
DT: AND LINDSAY TROY HAS SEEN ENOUGH! Troy in and Farnswirth slides out under the bottom rope as the ref moves in to restrain the world champ! Lindsay Troy is incensed out there as Farnswirth is tapping his head.
DM: Like I said earlier he’s playing mind games. He knows that Lindsay is having a tough time with Troy Windham, and he’s using that to get under her skin even more.
DT: Lindsay Troy checking on Cameron Cruise as Joey Melton watches on, helping Cruise to the corner – and there’s the tag to Joey Melton! Richard Farnswirth back into the ring, tag to Chip Friendly, and we’re back to square one pretty much with two fresh competitors circling each other!
DM: The two veterans being very cautious here, but there’s the tie up, and a quick pull apart. These two paired up at the beginning of the match, and they lock up again, Chip Friendly going behind but Melton dropping down with a toe-hold.
DT: Chip Friendly trying to fight off Joey Melton, but Melton applying a leg lock on the canvas, obviously hoping later to get the figure four.
DM: Friendly finally though managing force Melton off with a kick to the side of the head.
DT: Both men back up quickly, Friendly coming in again – hip toss by Melton! Chip Friendly having real problems right this instant as Melton comes in, twists the arm, and there’s the tag to Lindsay! Troy comes in over the top, axe handle across the shoulder, and now taking over where Melton left off, twisting the arm round.
DM: Lindsay Troy quick with three hard kicks to the chest there, and she takes Friendly down into an arm-bar, going for the Fujiwara!
DT: NO! Chip Friendly still too close to the ropes after the tag and manages to get his hand out. The referee forcing Melton and Cruise back as Chip Friendly gets to his feet, shaking the arm out. The two now circling again, and look at the marks on Chip’s chest from those kicks! There’s the lock up, Friendly now quickly going behind and a take down there, as he moves into a front face lock! Picking Lindsay up still with the hold applied, a knee to the face and a SHARP snap suplex!
One…
TWO!!
And another kick out!
DM: Still far too early with the calibre of these wrestlers.
DT: Chip Friendly keeping the pressure applied though, switching quickly into a scissored arm-bar!
DM: This works because it makes it harder for Lindsay to shift her position –she also has to be careful not to let her far shoulder touch the mat because she can’t do a lot with the near one.
DT: She’s trying to roll out of it though. Chip Friendly forcing her down with his legs, and I’d say so far this has been a pretty even match.
MN: What match are you watching? The Social Club have had it all their own way!
DT: Lindsay Troy though still trying to get out of the hold
One
TWO!!
NO!! Chip Friendly releasing the arm bar and rolling back out of the pinning predicament as Lindsay Troy now tapping her head and showing him how close he was to losing! He’s still smiling though, as Richard Farnswirth is looking on.
DM: Just like that we’re pretty much at square one again. That’s the thing with six person tag team matches, you can always have one person well rested if you work it out correctly. Right now that’s Slambo and Cameron Cruise.
DT: And it looks like Chip’s tagging in the big man! Lindsay Troy charging in, through his legs DROPKICK to the back of the knee! Lindsay Troy using her athleticism as she takes Slambo down with a headscissors, using the fact he was down to one knee to pull it off even better! Kick to the head as Slambo’s trying to get to his feet, off the ropes again CAUGHT! Lindsay Troy caught in mid air as she went for a cross body BUT CRUISE WITH A FLYING CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OUTSIDE TAKES SLAMBO DOWN!!
ONE!!
TWO!!!
NO!! Richard Farnswirth coming in to break up the pin after Cameron Cruise just FLEW across the ring! Cruise exchanging right hands with Farnswirth , fighting him back into a corner as Slambo and Lindsay get to their feet, Slambo misses with the clothesline, and Lindsay Troy with a hard forearm shot to the side of the head! JOEY MELTON WITH A CLIP!
MN: DISQUALIFY THEM!!
DT: The referee was busy trying to separate Cruise and Farnswirth and Joey Melton took advantage to clip the leg of the biggest man in this match! Lindsay Troy stomping on the inside of Slambo’s knee as the ref forces Chip Friendly out of the ring! Chip Friendly trying there to gain some measure of retribution but to no avail as the ref stops him, and Lindsay Troy now applying a leg lock on the big man in the middle of the ring.
DM: Slambo’s seemed really out of his game this week, I’m surprised.
DT: And Richard Farnswirth does not look happy over on the far side, as Lindsay Troy turns her head and is challenging him to get into the ring!
MN: He could destroy her whenever he wanted to. He just doesn’t want to.
DT: So you’re saying Richard Farnswirth is the best wrestler on the roster?
MN: Exactly!
DM: What about Troy Windham?
MN: …oh crap.
DT: Lindsay now releases the hold, bringing Slambo back to his feet, and a kick to the side of the leg! That had to sting! Irish Whip into the corner, there’s the tag to Cruise, and nice double team move there with the double suplex!
One
TWO!!
Kickout at two by Slambo. Cameron Cruise in control right now, applying a leg lock of his own!
DM: Nice continuity here by the World Champion and the Project.
DT: And a quick tag to Joey Melton from the canvas! Melton coming in, stomping on the knee of Slambo, as Cruise rolls to the outside.
DM: If you want someone who can work over the leg there are few better than Joey Melton.
DT: Melton picking Slambo up, and a harsh chop to the chest! Backing Slambo to the ropes, attempting the Irish whip, reversed, Melton ducks under the lariat AND CHIP FRIENDLY PULLS THE ROPE DOWN!! COME ON!
MN: Turn about’s fair play.
DT: The referee admonishing Chip Friendly, who’s coming into the ring to protest his innocence AND RICHARD FARNSWIRTH ATTACKING MELTON ON THE OUTSIDE! That was premeditated!
DM: Naturally.
DT: Cameron Cruise trying to get the ref to spot what’s going on, as Melton goes into the steps! This is not right!
DM: No-one said it was.
DT: Farnswirth rolling Melton back into the ring, and Slambo walks over and there’s the tag to Chip Friendly. Friendly now has pretty much a free reign to do what he wants to Joey Melton after that assault on the outside.
DM: Technically even being in the ring is assault, so it’s not that much different. These guys get paid for beating each other up.
DT: But still… forget it. Joey Melton back on his feet, and Chip Friendly takes him down with a standing drop kick!
One
TWO!!
THKickout! The master of the smiley face only able to get a two count there but Melton looks hurt after going into the steps, holding his shoulder as Chip Friendly lands a hard right to the side of the head! Grabbing the arm, full twist ASIATIC SPIKE! Chip Friendly just DRILLS Joey Melton with an Asiatic Spike, and tags in Richard Farnswirth as Melton clutches at his throat!
DM: That is a very misunderstood move – it cuts off the air supply briefly, and hurts like hell.
DT: Farnswirth now with Melton up, takes him down with a side headlock, and switches into a sleeperhold! Joey Melton trying to fight it but look at the positioning there, Farnswirth very quick to lean Melton forwards and almost jumped onto his back to keep the hold applied!
DM: And Farnswirth has the hold applied tightly, it’s going to be very difficult to shift him. Cutting off the blood supply to the brain and restricting how much air Melton can get into his lungs, this is a smart move.
MN: Of course it is! No way the Club are going to lose to any team with Joey Melton on it.
DM: What if he was teaming with Troy Windham?
MN: …damn you.
DT: And Richard Farnswirth wants to damn the crowd too, as they’re trying to get Joey to stir – Farnswirth switching now, applying an arm bar as dragging Melton to his feet! There’s the tag to Chip Friendly, quick kick to the gut. Setting up – DRAGON suplex there!
One
TWO!!
CAMERON CRUISE IN TO BREAK THE PIN!
MN: KILL HIM!!
DT: Referee Rosenkrantz ordering Cruise out of the ring, but I think that was a crucial interception as Melton is still showing the effects of that collision with the steps.
DM: I think he hit his head going into them, he’s looking really groggy.
DT: Whatever the reason, Chip Friendly is in firm control, taking Melton down with a back suplex! Only a two count from the cover but all these blows to the head
MN: Are killing what’s left of Melton’s braincells!
DT: Probably. But more seriously they’re damaging the head and neck. Chip Friendly picking Melton up, Irish whip into the corner, and a BIG running knee lift takes Melton to the mat! The cover
ONE!!
TWO!!
THNO!! Cameron Cruise in AGAIN to save the match for his team!
DM: And the ref has had enough as he’s warning Cruise he’ll disqualify him if he does it one more time.
DT: And Chip Friendly now tagging in Slambo again, who’s still limping slightly after the work done on his legs earlier. Slambo in, quick powerslam there, following it up with an elbow drop!
One
TWO!!!
LINDSAY TROY IN WITH A DROPKICK TO BREAK UP THE FALL!
DM: And the referee unable to do anything about it! Nice strategy, because he said he’d DQ Cruise, not Lindsay!
DT: But Joey Melton is the one suffering from it, as Slambo just leans his weight onto the throat! The referee not even looking as he’s admonishing Lindsay… and Slambo releases the pressure as he turns! Stretching his knee out, picking Melton up – BACK BREAKER!!
ONE!!!
TWO!!!
THRENOOOO!! Joey MELTON this time kicking out, and Slambo is getting frustrated! Farnswirth calling for the tag, and ordering Slambo to hold Melton. Farnswirth climbing to the top rope!
DM: This’ll be interesting.
DT: MISSES! Richard Farnswirth coming down with a double axe handle and Joey Melton moved, pulling Slambo into the blow! Farnswirth up quickly again, charges in OUCH!! Joey Melton with a drop toe-hold sending Farnswirth crashing INTO Slambo as the two clash heads! Melton moving as quickly as he can… THERE’S THE TAG!!!
MN: NO!!
DT: Lindsay Troy in over the top rope, going straight for Farnswirth, right hands, and a sharp kick to the gut sends him flying! Slambo coming up from behind, nails her with a hard forearm, but Cameron Cruise is in!! Cruise attacking Slambo, Irish whip into the corner and a big splash! Chip Friendly in to the fray too, going at it with Lindsay! Richard Farnswirth on the outside, and the referee’s having trouble in there! Farnswirth – HEY!
MN: Bout time he got that again.
DM: Tony Fatora shoved out of the way, and Farnswirth with a chair! Moving back towards the ring
DT: FLYING CLOTHESLINE BY MELTON!! Joey Melton comes off the steps with a flying clothesline, as Chip Friendly gets DDT’d in the ring! Cruise being hammered by Slambo, and Lindsay to the outside with a plancha on Melton and Farnswirth!!
DM: The ref has lost this one.
DT: I’ve got to concur as the referee is signalling for the bell, but that’s not stopping them! Chip Friendly and Slambo double teaming Cruise, as Joey Melton comes in with a chair! Lindsay Troy smashing Farnswirth’s head against the barrier, and Chip and Slambo run out of the ring!! Security coming out now!
MN: It’s mayhem!!
DM: A melee!!
MN: A donnybrook!!!
DT: We’re out of time! We’ll see you all next week! For Mike Neely and Dean Matthews I’m Dave Thomas….GOOD NIGHT!!!
[Cut to: copyright info….fade OUT…]