(Cut to The Phenom’s locker room. Steve Savoy, Ricky Williams and Ron Artest are sitting around a table.) RW: Yo dawg, we got anymore weed left?

RA: I don’t got none. How bout you, Phenom?

SAVOY: Nope, I ain’t got shit. But I do gots a hookup, lemme call my dawg Katz.

(Savoy dials up on his cell phone.)

SAVOY: Yeah, Phenom here, yeah... yeah, yeah... probably an ounce... yeah, that oughtta keep us baked for a good long time... yeah.... yeah... gangsta, awesome, I’ll be there in fit’teen. Peace.

(Puts down his cell.)

SAVOY: Aight, I’m bouncin’, I’ll be back with the goods.

(Savoy gets up and opens his locker room door. Right as it opens all the way, a cast iron frying pan attached to a rope swings down and conks Savoy right in the head. The Phenom falls back, knocked out. Artest gets up {Ricky’s too stoned to notice} and runs over, looking in the frying pan to see a note in it. He picks it up and reads it out loud.)

RA: That was for kidnapping my girl... J. Oh man, that son of a bitch gon’ get it! Phenom, wake up. Wake up.

(Shaking him.)

RA: Wake up, c’mon man, ain’t no time to sleep on the job, dawg. Wake up.

(Cut to the announce table.)

DT: Well, JA certainly got some measure of revenge.

MN: After all the humiliation he’s put the Phenom through, I think it’s that stupid masked jerk who should get some.

DM: Oh pipe down.

DT: Anyway, it’s time for our next match...

MN: Wooh yeah, this one should be good. Artest and Williams taking on Troy Windham’s men, you know carnage will ensue.

DT: Let’s go to the ring for the introductions shall we?

TF: The following tag-team contest is set for one fall.

(CUE UP: Nothing, as Zoltan and De La Rossi come out already attacking their opponents)

DM: No introductions needed, as all four men are going at it before they even get to the ring! Zoltan with a clubbing blow there on Williams, and August is hammering Artest with lefts and rights.

DT: Zoltan shoving Williams into the ring, and he turns and NAILS Artest with a clothesline off the Irish Whip from De La Rossi. The smaller member of the Entourage now in the ring, and he scores a hard kick to the head there!! Zoltan on the outside just threw Artest into the ringpost from a gorilla press!!

MN: I think that’s the end of mister Artest.

DM: Looks like it’s going to be the end of the Posse. I don’t know when this started, but my card has the Posse coming out first, so they must have been jumped at the curtain. August with a hard snap suplex there, straight into the cover.

...one...

...two...

And Williams gets his shoulder up. August whips him into the corner, and the tag to Zoltan!!

DT: This big man from Germany knows how to outpower people, as he slams Williams down hard. Tags in August, and Zoltan... HE’S SITTING ON THE TOP ROPE!! De La Rossi on his shoulders...

MN: Star Press!! Most spectacular if I may say so.

DT: You may Mike, as De La Rossi goes for the cover.

...one...

...TWO...

THREE!!! It’s all over after that Shooting Star Press off his partner’s shoulders!!

TF: The winners of the match... ZZZZZOOOOOOOLLLLLTTTTTTAAANNNNNNN and AAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSTTTTT DE LA RRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!

DM: Damn, talk about with the quickness!

DT: Windham’s Entourage save a bit of face with a win here tonight and...

(The lights in the New Orleans arena dim down to black and the EmpireTron comes to life.)

MN: Aww, great. Another interruption. Don't these people realize that time is money on network TV?

DM: Umm Neely? She can interrupt me ANY time.

MN: What? She?

DT: Take a look!

(The men in the sold out crowd in the arena let out a collective "WHOA", and the cat-calls and whistles soon follow as we see a stunningly beautiful woman - blond wavy hair falling just past her shoulders, mesmerizing blue eyes about five-foot-ten, maybe five-foot-eleven, dressed in tight jeans and a black EPW mini-tee thankfully showing off her sexy midriff to go along with the rest of her knockout body - walking through the backstage area.)

DM: Excuse me boys, I think I need some personal time!

MN: *whistles*

DT: And just who is THAT?

MN: I'll be happy to go find out for you.

(The woman rounds a corner in the backstage area, camera two doing a great job of catching the rear view as she walks down the hall. She comes to a door which she opens without knocking, and enters the room. The camera catches the door as it closes, and we see a name stenciled into the door - BEAST. A cheer fills the arena as the name appears.)

MN: Awww, my dream is ruined!

DM: What's up, Neely?

MN: How could a woman THAT hot go into Loafy's dressing room? He must have paid for her. That's it. No self respecting woman would DO that!

(CUT TO: The EmpireTron, and the inside of Beast's dressing room, and the arena crowd POPS! when we see the former EPW World Heavyweight Champion standing in the back of the room. As the door closes behind the woman, Beast turns and hangs up his cell phone, and the woman walks up to him.)

Beast: Hey, babe.

MN: Babe?

Woman: Hey, tiger.

MN: I'm gonna be sick.

(The woman kisses Beast.)

MN: *GAG*

DT: Neely, you ok?

MN: Ohh! I think I threw up in my mouth just a little bit.

DM: If you stain my shirt, I'm gonna kick your ass!

Beast: Well, hello to you too, Jessica. What was that for?

Jessica: You just looked like you could use some cheering up, is all.

Beast: Well, it *is* gonna take some getting used to not being the World Heavyweight Champion after what that bitch Troy pulled.

(Jessica puts her hands on Beast's chest.)

Jessica: Well, you're gonna have to go back out there and take it back, now aren't you?

Beast: Easier said than done. Dan Ryan and I aren't exactly on the best of terms right now. I don't think he's going to chomping at the bit to give me a rematch, no matter *how* upset I am when I demand it. I mean, hell, I go from being the World Heavyweight Champion one week to not even being booked the next.

Jessica: But you've got a match this week. And it's against Adam Benjamin, a guy you've beaten twice before. You're going to go out there and do what you do best, that's all. You're just going to have to make the best of it and beat the hell out of whoever he puts in that ring with you, week after week. Ryan will have no choice but to realize that you STILL ARE the best this company's ever seen. You'll have a rematch with Troy and beat that filthy disgusting whore like Ike beat Tina. Then we'll put that World Title back around your ripped little waist.

(The arena crowd lets out a cheer!)

Beast: I like the way you think, kiddo.

Jessica: I knew you would.

(The EmpireTron fades down, and the house lights come back on.)

MN: Who the hell can think about eating after seeing that disgusting display?

DT: It's going to be interesting, don't you think? Will Beast be able to convince Dan Ryan to give him a rematch? Or is Ryan hell-bent on burying the former Champion? I can't wait to see how this turns out. We'll be right back after this!

(Cue up a commercial for Colon Blow Cereal, now with 80% more dietary fiber!)