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eyoung
02-22-02, 05:36 PM
(Eddy Love pulls through the wrought iron gate at his Lake Hartwell estate. The cameras are already rolling from his arched brick portico and he is met at the cut glass front door by JJ Deville. JJ is wearing a pair of jean shorts with a dust rag hanging from the back pocket , a “Playboys Inc. Rules” belly shirt, as well as having the Greensboro Title around his waste. A huge smile adorns JJ’s face as he runs towards Eddy but slams on the breaks as Eddy raises his hand.)

EL: Hey Champ congratulations.

JJ: Thanks Eddy, er Mister Love. Wouldn’t you just love to have seen the look on Southern’s face when Terri told him to hand over that belt. He could never be cool like….

(Love raises his hand to stop JJ’s rambling.)

EL: Do you have my information?

JJ: Sure do, boss. The Greensboro Champions entourage will be arriving in San Diego at 11:30 on Tuesday……

EL: Not that information.

(JJ looking at first disappointed then reenergized)

JJ: Man do I have some information for you. I added a little extra vinegar to the bucket and not only did that honey’s shoe marks come up, Boss, but those Europe-AN hardwoods have never shined so bright. I tell you, I can see myself. I took that mop and I did not a once over, not a twice over but three times count em three times I polished up that…..

(Love walks through the front door with JJ still talking quickly, but once the door shuts he is inaudible. In the front foyer standing on caramel Italian Tile stands Sweet Melissa. She is wearing a sports bra and a pair of cotton warm up shorts. )

EL: Is he here?

M: No, he called and said he was going to stop and have a couple of drinks on the way. He should be here very shortly, maybe you can go ahead and do a promo so these guys can get off the grounds. (Points to the camera)

EL: A couple of drinks before a work out? Is this a good idea?

M: How many times have I led you astray. I told you nobody can get you better prepared for a 4 corners match, and if he had twenty drinks, he’d still be the best.

(The cameras follow Eddy down the stairs to his small private gym. It is not as elaborate as the facility we’ve seen the Playboys use in past promos, but it is very clean stocked with Chrome dumb bells, a high tech tread mill and full sized ring. Eddy pulls on a long sleeve plain white shirt and a singlet over the top. Enters the ring puts on his on camera demeanor, shakes his hair which fall 3 to 4 inches above shoulder length and addresses the camera.)

EL: Eddy Love, Eddy Love, Eddy Love…….. Eli Flair predicts that Eddy Love will relive 1998, and BAM everyone in the whole fed can’t quit calling my name, just like in ‘98.

Mike Pett thinks I’m ducking a few rookies who have mustered up enough courage to mumble my name….. And Mike I understand you probably learned more about ring strategy in the 12 minutes you lasted with me in the Iron Man competition than you have in all your years of living, but my dear boy I cannot give you lessons once a week unless you sign on for the Eddy Love school of wrestling, and classes don’t take place in the arena, you need to come right here to God’s country, and before you ask Mike, yes there are partial scholarships available for the financially challenged.

As for your claims Pleth,Pett, (shakes his head no slightly) sorta just rolls off the tongue doesn’t it, the claim that Hurricane Eddy only wrestles those who were around when I dominated this company under the Powers of Love on the Rocks banner….. There’s hardly any of those men around, and those that are here, other than dear Eli, are the only gentlemen not calling my name. That Damn Hornet was there to see it, but he’s taking the quiet like a church mouse approach every since I whipped him and Cardigo like 2 Jewish children caught stealing dum-dums from the PLO candy shop. But I had already run Marky Mark Windham and Old Man Melton from the fed before Powers, Love, Radder received the Eddy Love rub. Gumms, Randles, Adler, they had already packed up to take the Gerital cruise out of town before Eddy Love did the beat up the Challenger of the hour routine while teaming with Kevin Powers and that other guy, who never got my whites quite as brisk as JJ does. I duck no one Mike….. I just can’t get to every one of the old guys that say they’ve still got it and dry you and your buddies off behind the ears at the same time. I’ll get to you, and Southern and Aho and Le Machine…. And when I do, you’ll wonder why you wanted that….. Now catch this it’s a killer new tag line I’m working on….. Cause I’ll give you all a little more than you want, (winks) here it is, I PROMISE.

As for Sand Diego…. Gumms, Windham, and Randles all in the same spot…. It’s sorta like a Legend Killer’s smorgasbord, wouldn’t you say? The great thing is that as bad as I outclass these 3 in the skill department, as much as I dwarf them when you compare ring presence…… I am still the best prepared wrestler in the business. I still draw on the who’s who of whatever I need. When I need a partner I call on the greatest wrestler West of the great state of South Carolina, Troy Windham….. When I’ve needed a promoter I’ve gone to the Godfather of Professional wrestling…… when I had an I quit match I brought in Hiro Suzuki himself to help me to master the Suzuki arm bar…….and When Eddy Love and Sweet Melissa needed help preparing for another gimmick match like the one at Primetime, we went to the master of the 4 corners match to help me to develop strategy and train for the big match.

He has taught me that in this style of match you must be aggressively conservative, that you slow play your opponent but if they are distracted or overplay you just a little, you make them pay through the back door. You don’t worry about the fans being bored even though they are used to buzzing at your mere presence, you don’t worry about running up the score once you have the opponent beaten you take your win and go home. Now I’m sure out there somewhere, the question is being asked “Why would you hire a high dollar consultant then tell his advice for the world to hear”, well let’s just say that giving my opponents my game plan and expecting them to be able to execute it would be the equivalent of giving a donkey a set of plans and expecting him to build a nuclear power plant.

My opponents, what a spectrum of personalities, and how diverse a set of accomplishments. We have Windham who has held every piece of gold but has yet to this very day to hold anyone’s attention through one of those two hour soap operas he tries to pass off as match promotion. We have the Straw that stirs the drink, who comes off more to me as a man trying to churn the CSWA butter with that toothpick of skill he has. Gumms, you can’t churn butter with a tooth pick. The flesh tearing Wolf Mike Randles who answered the question the whole world had wanted to know for 4 years…. ” If Eddy Love didn’t have the most beautiful head of hair anyone had ever seen would he still be the sexiest man alive” Now thanks to you, Mike, they all scream “Hell Yes” when the matter comes up.

It’s Hurricane Eddy Love, in one corner and three Legends of our sport in the other three corners. A Wolf who’s fallen prey to myself at every turn, a Lost Soul that needs three years rest between Eddy Love matches, and a loud mouthed jackass who should be thanking me for getting the unliftable ban lifted, who should be telling the world about what a humanitarian I am, and how I am the greatest partner he’s ever known, but instead is sneak attacking our revered Greensboro Champion. The funny thing is that Gumms may very well not know, but the other two are sure without a shadow of a doubt that Hurricane Eddy Love has been to every fair in the 4 corners of the globe……. AND WHEN HURRICANE EDDY LOVE GOES TO THE FAIR, hot damn, HE ALWAYS COMES HOME WITH THE TEDDY BEAR.

(The interview is cut but camera rolls on as Melissa’s voice is heard from off camera. The other voice is that of an educated sounding black man)

M: Eddy he’s here. You ready??

EL: Always ready.

Voice: Sorry I’m late, they had a sobriety check point down the road so I had to come the back way. Well lets’ get started, big man, we’ve got a lot of work to do

(The camera focuses in on a black man’s hand holding four fingers high in the air, with a sky blue sweat band below the wrist.)

EL: Whatever you say, Phil.

Steve
02-22-02, 08:28 PM
OORP

LOL..that better not be Phil Ford.

That's just wrong.