PDA

View Full Version : Champ's Forum



GreggG
02-25-02, 08:33 PM
(CUT TO: A very swank television set-up, similar to that of the Craig Killborn show. The backdrop is of the skyline of the city of Greensboro-- a few skyscrapers dot the air, with the CSWA Tower and the Merrit Auditorium being the most prominent in the set. The floor is made of fine pine wood. To the left is a homely brick wall that surrounds an artifical fireplace. To the right is another brick wall, this one adorned with pictures of "The Hurricane" Eddy Love all over it. On the top frame of the set is a neon sign that pulsates in glowing red-- GREENSBORO CHAMPION-- over and over again. In the middle of this set lays a lone recliner's chair. To the left is a triumphant portrait of Eddy Love on horseback dressed like Robert E. Lee, to the right is a white marble statue in Eddy Love's likeness-- staring proudly out at all he owns, long hair flowing in the wind, foot on the back of a bested opponent, with a pair of nunchucks resting over the statue's arm. Relaxed in the recliner's chair, wearing a belly shirt that reads WWJJD, jean shorts, his newly-won(?) Greensboro Title prominently worn around his waist is "The Original King of Cool" JJ DeVille.)

JJ: I've discovered that being a champion takes a lot out of you. It's only been a matter of days since I've been awarded this (taps his belt proudly) title for my courageous victory in the courtroom, since I had the fortitude to stand up to that bullying coward Shawn Southern and had the title that he was HELL-BENT on destroying restored to its past legacy.

Since I've been awarded this championship title, the World Greensboro title, I've done a lot to make it MEAN something again. I've taken it to the Greensboro Fair, to show the illiterate, toothless and down-syndromed children of this decrepit backwater city that if they put their mind to it, they can someday move out of their trailer and into a slightly bigger trailer that is located closer to the algae-filled pond where they catch their dinner. I've gone down to the senior citizen center to show the old people there what a champion looks like... whereas most of them have never had anything in their lives, wishing they could be rich and powerful like their hero Eddy Love, but not having what it takes to do so... being SO PATHETIC and WORTHLESS that their own children hate them so much that they get shipped off to a home where no one visits them. Yes, folks... I've done what I can to be a Greensboro champion (points at the camera) YOU can be proud of... because lord knows we haven't had one of those in a while!

Yes... it takes a lot to be a great champion. You have to be like (JJ enthusiastically points at the statue and the portrait) THIS MAN right here... the CSWA's Great Humanitarian... Eddy Love. Now, Eddy Love is right now without a title belt around his waist, but he remains a champion. A champion of MEN. And in San Pedro, California... he is further going to prove his point. He's already bested Troy Windham's dorky older brother SEVERAL times in his career. He's already destroyed Mike Randalls several times over. He has yet to face GUNS THE STRONGEST ARMS IN THE WORLD... if that is indeed his real name... in battle, but already the big mouth has learned his lesson. After he attacked me from behind at On Time, an innocent bystander who had little to no contact with him, he realized how he messed up. Gums realized that not only would he never get the honor of polishing a statue like this (JJ points to the statue) on a daily basis... but he also drew the ire of my main muchacho and he would be systematically destroyed. So, while Guns may talk tough, I think you all can see between the lines. Why, he's even done as I suggested-- in recent promos, he's been referring to my main muchacho as MISTER Eddy Love. But Guns the Strongs In The World, my friend... you're going to see that your snivelling attempts at lowering yourself to get in Mister Love's good graces are a little bit too much a little bit too late.

But while all eyes will be focused on The Hurricane as he once again destroys his rivals... some of those eyes will be watching me, James Justice Juvented Jamar DeVille, defend my hard-earned (JJ taps his title proudly.) World Greensboro title against the gutless worm who had this title before me, who sought to soil it, to tarnish it. Well, Shane Southern... IF THAT IS INDEED YOUR REAL NAME... you bit off a little bit more than you can chew this time. You SHOULD have retired. You SHOULD have gone back to picking up trash and litter like your mommy does down on Bourbon Street... a lucrative job, but one that does not pay nearly as much as picking up after Eddy Love and Sweet Melissa when they have their Fortune 500 friends over for a champagne bash. But instead you have NOT done that and instead you have come out here and have repeatedly THREATENED my life. Sham Southern, I ask you only one word... why?

Is it because you wish the fans chanted YOUR name every time 18 To Life by Skid Row cued up over the PA? Is it because YOU wish that you went 60 minutes in a classic battle against Lance Loser in the main event of the most successful pay-per-view of all time? Is it because YOU wish that you could be closer to Eddy Love and you would do anything to appease him? Is it beacuse YOU wish that you never drew the attention of The Human Weapon, as you stand shaking knowing that it is now only days before you get destroyed in front of the entire world by a man whose limbs are registered as weapons in 38 states, 4 Candian provinces and 3 former Yugoslav republics?

Shane Southern, my friend... if there's anything that I have learned from being by the side of my mentor Eddy Love... if there's anything that I've learned about what it takes to be a (JJ taps his title belt again) great champion... a great World Greensboro Champion... it's that you do not have mercy on the weak. You must destroy the competition at all costs. When we face off in San Salvadore California at Showtime, my man... I am simply going to destroy you. It's what Eddy would do... and it's what JJ is going to do. See if you can Avoid the Noid, brutha. (JJ folds his arms and sneers. FTB)