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Mad Dog
08-28-02, 12:54 PM
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-28-02 AT 03:49 PM (EDT)](FADEIN to the Hip Hop Express logo backdrop. The camera zooms back to show the HHE standing in front of it with CSWA Investigative Report, M. Harry Smilek, holding a microphone between the two. Inferno Ice is sporting a Knicks jersey and some sagging jean shorts, along with Mike Plett’s leaf medallion that he stole a few weeks ago looking tarnished around his neck, along with a white Nike visor upside-down and backwards on his head. Boogie Smallz is wearing a t-shirt with his name on it…now on sale in GXW, some black jeans, and the ever-present diamond and platinum HHE logo medallion around his neck. He has a black bandanna around his head tied in a knot in the front, with an opening in the top revealing his hair in corn-rolls. Smilek looks nervous in his CSWA blazer and thick bifocals.)

SMILEK: Guys, thanks for letting me get this interview. I don’t think the CSWA liked the last one I did a few months ago…that introduced the world to Shamon. For obvious reasons…and I can’t say that I blame them, but my TV time has been cut short.

INFERNO: Yeah…whatever. Lets get on with this thing.

SMILEK: Well let’s see…on the last show, On Time in Gainesville, you two were heard to be in the backstage area trying to convince Sean Stevens to side with you…which was obviously a way for you two to try and set him up for your cohort, “The Apocalypse” Gabriel Poe.

INFERNO: Yo man, what I said to him was all true. I dunno about my potna’ right herre, but I spoke from the heart.

BOOGIE: (Looks at Inferno.) Do wha’? (Looking at Smilek.) He’s just messin’ with you, dawg. We had to have 2Poc’s back, he’s goin’ through some shizz with his girl…you know how that goes. We had to show him we were still down and Inferno finally tracked down Miso, so she could be there for Poe.

SMILEK: Oh yes, that Miso is something else. (In a daze, thinking about Miso.) Mmm mmm, she is a bad mamajama. (Snaps out of it.) Now you two have a match coming up against the former tag team champs, Simply Stunning…fresh off a loss of the belts at Fish Fund. What are your thoughts?

BOOGIE: So here we go…one mo’ ‘gen against prob’ly the worst tag team to ever hold the CSWA Unifed tag straps…Simply Stunnin’. (Shakes his head.) How come every time we lay out an open contract, you two peckerwoods end up pickin’ it up…only to get yo’ ass whipped!? You’re quick to sign a contract…but y’all never open your mouths or say one word against us. I take ‘dat as a person insult…a GOT-DAMN slap to the face! You too good for us or some s(BLEEP)? Well F(BLEEP) ‘DAT!

INFERNO: They ain’t nothin’, Boog, don’t sweat those cats. We got bigger fish to fry.

SMILEK: There is a lot of talk that the CSWA may close the tag team division due to not a lot of teams being around. The talk is they are going on a hunt to try and get more teams signed up to save the division.

BOOGIE: Now hold up. Tha CSWA has rumors runnin’ ‘round about the tag team division is dyin’. Well it’s been dyin’…damn near flat lined while those two crackas were holdin’ tha tag titles! Well we ain’t gonna let it die…we’re gonna cut tha cancer out…tha two FATHA’BUCKAS that have done nothin’ but ruin EVERYTHANG tha Hip Hop Express did to make tha tag division herre and tha tag team titles mean somethin’. We should be tha number one contenders for tha belts…RIGHT NOW, but some crazy ass triscuits on motorcycles somehow pulled a miracle out they ass and get tha win. I can’t be bugged out about that ISH.

INFERNO: That’s right…because in all truthfulness, we are number one contenders for another title.

SMILEK: But Inferno, there is only one set of tag titles. How can you be the number one contenders for something else?

INFERNO: You have been gone for a few months, but I guess you haven’t kept up with the shows. About a month ago we had a 6-man tag match, the same match…I might add…that I picked this up. (Holds up the leaf medallion with his hand, smiles and winks at the camera.) Well who won that match? It was us!

SMILEK: Yeah…and?

INFERNO: What…is you stupid? Who the hell did we pin?

(Smilek looks clueless.)

BOOGIE: (Shaking his head.) Shane Southern.

INFERNO: Right, who then went on to Fish Fund to capture the United States title. The way WE see it…WE should get a title shot! We were the last guys to put Southern down and…well, who else has done that lately? I can sum it up…NOBODY!

SMILEK: A tag team challenging for the US title? I’m not sure the bookers are gonna even consider that. You two must have been smoking way too much of that reefer. (Laughs)

BOOGIE: What tha f(BLEEP) are you laughing at? You know how long we’ve been here? Do you have ANY IDEA how much crap we have taken over the years, not gettin’ a chance to do what we want…because Chad Merritt doesn’t want kids to see us on TV? Because we cross too many lines…and all that other bull he’s been feedin’ us. I’m sick of it! This is our shot…our chance to show tha world that we are more than just some tag team, that we are more than 2-time tag team champions, that we can also make history…and be tha first team to ever win the United States title!

INFERNO: CS Express never did that, Arrogance couldn’t do that, and I know damn well…Simply Stupid wouldn’t EVER be in the position…let alone the Oompa Loompa tag champs the CSWA has now.

SMILEK: So you are now issuing a challenge to Shane Southern?

BOOGIE: Damn skippy! Southern knows what’s up, he knows we deserve a shot…and us being tha TRUE number one contenders…he’s bound to BE A MAN and grant us a title shot. (Smiles)

INFERNO: You want to laugh at us, Smilek? Well you won’t be laughing when I shove this foot up yo’ ass!

SMILEK: (Looks at his watch.) Well, it’s about time for me to head out, guys. I got an interview with a guy that says he is a long-lost brother of a famous wrestling family. His name is Wendell Windham…and I got a flight to catch. So I’ll be seeing you, fellas.

(Smilek scampers out of the studio and the HHE mug for the camera before the scene begins to FADE TO BLACK.)

SouthernBoy
08-28-02, 04:21 PM
{{...FADE-IN: Shane Southern standing in front of a CSWA backdrop with the US Title over his shoulder...}}

SHANE SOUTHERN: " Mah' oh mah...Whadda' we have here. Boogie n' Inferno wantin' a shot at THIS. {{...pats the US Title...}} Let's figure this out, shall we. Let's use yer logic. You did pin me in that 3-way dance...I did win tha' US Title...that's true, but didn't you LOOSE to tha' MOA at Fishfund? So, I guess that means tha' MOA are the number one contenders to tha' US Title, right? {{..laughs...}} Nice try idiots. "

" But don't think I'm runnin' scared from you boys. Stick 'round, pretty soon I'll have some time, n' we'll do this thing, Southern style. Party's Over. "

{{...FADE OUT...}}

Mad Dog
08-28-02, 05:08 PM
BOOGIE: Yeah...I figured 'dat we might get yo' attention. Laugh it up Gomer...because you can go get a potna' and handle bit'ness 'dat way...or you can just try and rush us and see what ya' got! Men of Adventure got lucky...they beat us...hooray for them. It'll never happen again...BELIEVE 'DAT! I don't know if you've taken one too many shots to the head lately or what, but we are YOUR number one contenders...and you better damn well shut us up and prove us otherwise...because until then, we are just gonna keep trashin' you at every chance we get...triscuit!

INFERNO: Well shazam...shazam...shazam...the CSWA highly touted United States champion has taken the time to actually talk to the men that are gunnin' for his title. No...not the guys he usually blabs off to that have NO BUSINESS takin' our title shot. What credentials do these people have anyway? Did they pin you before you won the title? (Shakes his head.) No. Did they battle it out for a shot to face the champ? (Shakes his head.) No. See...we did one of the above, which I believe more than qualifies us for a shot. But hey...you wanna back out of the challenge...(Shrugs his shoulders.) cool by me, but you are only making things worse for yourself. We can be a HUGE thorn in your side if we need to be. (Grins)