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View Full Version : I Know The Muffin Man...



MPettingill
12-22-02, 06:57 PM
A 'wicked' smile across the face, a devious look in the eyes... they compliment the Vino's Pizza Pub and Brewery shirt and the leather jacket that adorn Mike Plett's body. And they pale in comparison to the ever-resonating voice coming from his almost-cruiserweight body

MP: I bet the Boy Troy 2k3, Mr. CSWA... I bet Windham has had a fun time while we were off-season, what with the way I treated him at PrimeTime and all. It felt pretty good, Troy... to pull out my you-know-what and get ready to urinate all over your body. Call it sick, call it twisted, but it's what's going on these days Troy.

But you know, I've got a little Christmas treat sitting in front of me. Y'see, one of the biggest doubters, one of the biggest reasons for my change of allegiance was Evan Aho. Sure, time starts healing my anger but the only thing that can get the job done is to show everybody what-for, and I see a real great Christmas treat when I see myself lined up against Kin Hiroshi.

Wearing a GXW t-shirt, it seems funny I'm fighting Kin. But he doesn't want any acronyms, he doesn't want loyalties to a company, he just wants to entertain and be the Muffin Man and win some matches.

For me though - Kin Hiroshi is just a way to start ****ing all over Evan Aho. Evan, make no mistake, the ENTIRE CSWA is my target and you're one of the biggest lame ducks I see sitting. Troy Windham is a JOKE, all right? A shell of what he was before he walked into the cage with Eli Flair. Neither one of them deserves the light of day anymore, man. Shane Southern? Yeah, we were running buddies, but I see now... I see exactly what I was doing wrong. I was running with a dumb hick that couldn't put his trust in the MVP...

But Evan... YOU man, you just want to wrestle. Mr. Damn Stone Face... so condescending. The fans love you, Evan, the CSWA ones do. But the greatest fans in the world, the GXW fans - they know that you're just a COWARD. And so do I, so when I step into the ring and HURT The Muffin Man, maybe they won't appreciate exactly what I do to HIM, but they're going to have to know I'm doing it to YOU. Because I'm going to make you see a small bit of what I'll do to YOU when I get the chance.

Muffin Man, bring your bag of tricks to ShowTime. I know you're a serious player, there is NO doubt about it. But the most VALUABLE player finally got WICKED.

(Laughs) I PROMISE.

DizzaHizza
12-23-02, 05:49 AM
* A bell faintly rings out "Deck the Halls" as a store manager unlocks the front door to F.A.O. Shwartz in downtown Seattle. It's the last shopping weekend before Christmas, and hundreds are lined up to purchase that last minute item for little Timmy or Suzie. Kin Hiroshi nearly knocks the manager over as he rushes the barely cracked door. Mothers and fathers stare, mouths gapping as Hiroshi rips through the store, tearing it apart like a rhino in a china store.

Kin finds the aisle he was searching for, and grabs the latest Lego product, grinning at everyone as they leap out of his way. CSWA cameras catch up to Kin as he makes his way to the cash register. *

KIN HIROSHI: Ahhh, the holiday season, a time of praise. A time to cherish all that is holy in our lives. A time for recieving, and a time for giving. Seeing as it is that time of year, and I am feeling festive, there are a few resolutions I've been meaning to make.

You see, in the tradition of giving and recieving, I'm going to give "Wicked Sight" Mike Plett the biggest ass kicking from one of the smallest men on the roster. Sure, I'm pushing 6'0", and weigh in just over 200lbs, but who cares? Really?

I'll bring my "bag of tricks," as you like to call it, if you promise to stay determined on beating Aho into the ground. That way, I don't need to break out my fancy foot work, my high flying attacks, or my, coupe-de-grace, the Hirosh-Ma Bomb to beat you. All I'll need is for you too look around the ring, lost because Aho isn't there to wrestle you, sneak up behind you, pull you back in a school boy, and get the 1-2-3.

* Kin buys the Legos, and motions for the camera crew to follow him. He slowly exits the store, and seats himself on a bench nearby the store exit. *

KIN HIROSHI: Everyone here in CSWA, and everyone in GXW, seems to think that I'm the comic relief because I made my money on muffins instead of in the ring. "Ha ha, muffins are funny, a clothesline isn't." Well, Plett, muffins aren't funny to me, and neither is my wrestling. You want to accuse Aho of being a "stone face," you haven't looked into my slate eyes then.

Now, I'm a business man through and through. I'll make you a deal. How about this, I'll make sure that you're in top physical condition by not beating the living hell out of you, and all you have to do is not show up. I get the win, and you get to day dream about Aho some more, while I add you to my list of victories. Did I forget to mention I have a list of who I've beaten? Here, I keep it in my wallet...

* Kin leans on to one side, and pulls out his wallet. He flips it open, and pulls out a few pieces of paper. He shuffles through them, and organizes them for a moment. *

KIN HIROSHI: You see, I've beaten plenty of men, and, OH! Look! There's a name that looks familiar. I'll give you a hint, he's a former CSWA World Champion, he's from Seattle, and...ummm...uhhh...you want to hurt him. Give up? I thought so you half brain. Hold on a moment, it gets better.

* Hiroshi turns the page over. *

KIN HIROSHI: Look! There's the name again! Plett, I'm not here to talk about Aho. Sure, we have our history, but he's helped me out plenty in GXW and EWI.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to be going, I should be getting ready for my match against Johnny Styles in GXW. Wrestle them as they come, and title fall into your lap. Think about who's next on the list, instead of who's standing in front of you, and you're career will pass you by. You should have enough "Sight" to figure that out, and know that Kin Hiroshi is the future of CSWA...

* Hiroshi stands, and makes his way towards his limo. The driver opens the door for Kin, and closes it behind him. *

** FADE TO GOLD **

MPettingill
12-23-02, 10:34 PM
MP:[font color= black] I like you kid. I really do. I remember when I thought the CSWA was the greatest company in the world, and all I wanted to do was be a part of its incredible history, and I went around doing all I could to prove I was the future. I laid out Bugbrain in my own backyard, I was part of the ruining of the WAR*GAMES, and I was damn proud that I was one of the smallest guys in the INDUSTRY and had Greensboro gold around my waist.

Guess what... Muffin Boy, if you don't have Chad Merritt's backing you aren't going to be the future of the CSWA. You can kiss it goodbye. You want to know what I was, the day I walked out on my allegiance to the CSWA? I was the hottest commodity it had. I fought for it's name more than anyone else, as stupid as it was, and I was by far the most valuable player. I'd beat everybody from Troy Windham to Hornet, and I'd put on marathon matches with the then-champion, Mr. Aho himself. Lawrence Stanley? I'd beat his ass in the past, and Shane Southern? That bumpkin was my right hand man. I had my faith in those people though - I knew exactly what I was going to do. Stop the EVILLLLLL GXW, stop the ******* messing with my turf, and keep gunning for the top. I was going to destroy GUNS. I was going to do this and that...

And I realized that the CSWA doesn't give a damn.

Muffin Boy... I'm not the biggest guy on this roster, either. But I'll tell you what - I'm by far the biggest threat you've got to making your big name here. Cardigo Mysterian said it best when he said we're all Merritt's pieces of meat, and he probably gets a kick out of this GXW invasion. Well he won't get a kick when we make all his "boys" look like girls... and you're not going to get a kick out of it when I put you in the hospital.

You seem to have the impression I'm looking past you. Looking past you to get to Evan Aho. You're close. I'm looking THROUGH you, Kin, and I'm going to quit looking when it comes Shooooooow Time. I'm going to be TEARING.

I don't need your carbon-copy good guy interview, man. I did them way better, and these sucker fans ate every minute of it up. I was stupid enough to love it, myself. I gave my body for them - if you want to keep doing the same thing, whether or not you say it's for them or for you - then be my guest, waste your own time on this ball of rock. But me... Mike Plett... I'm out for revenge on the people that didn't believe in me. And hurting you at ShowTime is a good way to start on Mr. Stoney.

I PROMISE.