View Full Version : WEEK 11: CHRISTIAN SANDS vs. DAN RYAN

04-07-04, 03:19 AM
RP here.

04-07-04, 09:44 PM
(FADEIN: An NFW NORTH backdrop, in front of which sits CHRISTIAN SANDS, garbed in Oakley shades and a tan sports coat.)

Sands: Well, this is interesting.

Feels almost like I've come full circle. When I first broke into the business in GXW, a man named Dan Ryan was the World Champion. At the risk of sounding sycophantic, I looked up to him, because I saw in him what I wanted to become. In a way, you could make the case that Dan Ryan is responsible for me becoming who I am. If it weren't for him unknowingly setting an example for a dumb little curtain jerker fighting jobbers on the B show, I'd probably still be carrying a fake skull down to the ring and talking about how existence is futile.

What, then, to say to someone like Dan? Well, it seems common tradition has given me two choices.

Choice number one... I could talk about the supposed overwhelming odds and mention that beating the "almighty CSWA Champion" will make me a star.

Choice number two... I could mock him, run down his accomplishments, and call him an egomaniac - because, like, his ego will trip him up. Yeah.

But when I look at the options, I can't bring myself to go with either option. The first option is out because I don't see any overwhelming odds. Besides, I don't need a win over Dan to make me a star. I accomplished that already, when I became World Champion of Empire Pro Wrestling and battled to a sixty-six minute draw in Global Wrestling Evolution that's already being hailed as one of the greatest mat classics of all time. The second option is tempting... but I'd be a hypocrite, considering that I'm probably more arrogant than Dan is. Yeah, I'll admit it. Besides, anyone can dismiss an opponent's achievements with a flip of a hand.

So what to say?

Let's see here.

Dan - I'm man enough to admit that if it weren't for your example I wouldn't be here. I'll admit right now that when I first started to break free of the existence-is-futile gimmick, I watched you very closely to see how the stars conducted themselves. You don't even know it, but you were a role model for me in the formative stages of my professional career. More than anything, I wanted to reach the heights that you had reached. Yeah, I know it's pathetic, but I was young and didn't know better.

Fortunately, during our time in SCW I began to look at the world around me a little more. I started to realize that by modeling myself after you, I was wasting the potential of ME. So I started to break away, to move myself out from under your shadow - and in the process left you face-down in a toilet. Gradually, I started to develop into my OWN breed of wrestler.

But deep down, Dan, there's always been this... nagging little voice that insists that I'm still nothing more than an imitator and a pretender. And I can't stand putting up with it.

I idolized you in the early going, Dan, but I've become my own man now. I've moved out of your shadow and become a star in my own right. I've been to the top of the mountain, I've wrestled some of the best in the world, and I've come out stronger than ever. But in all of that there's one thing I've never done, and that's face off against the Ego Buster on even terms and emerge the winner.

You beat me once in SCW, but I was young and stupid - still not completely out of your shadow. Since that time I've become better than anyone could possibly have imagined. I made a lot of mistakes back then. No more. You might as well be facing a completely different person this time around.

Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to step into that ring, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to win. But I'm not going to do it to prove to the world that I'm a star. And I'm certainly not going to do it to prove you as an egomaniac.

I'm going to do it to prove something to ME.

To prove to myself that I DON'T NEED YOU anymore.

To prove to myself that I truly AM out of your shadow.

And to prove to myself that everything I have become means something.

You're probably laughing off every word I say as we speak, or better yet, dismissing me as a little voice in the corner - but whatever. That's your prerogative. You just go ahead and stick to your guns.

And I'll stick to mine.


04-14-04, 01:42 PM
"YOU'RE FIRED!!!" - Donald Trump


DAN RYAN standing in front of a mirrored skyscraper.

At first glance it could be any building in the world. But upon widening of the shot we are able to see the grandiose entrance to Trump Towers.

Alas, we are indeed in front of the property of the only man with the guts enough to do the unthinkable....

Trademark a common phrase.

Ryan: "Here we are in front of perhaps one of the more recognizable symbols of wealth and excess in the world these days."

"I come to you on location today because I have been inspired."

"Yes, I have been inspired my Mr. Trump to do what only he has had the balls to do. That's right, I'm taking an overused phrase and making it my own."

"From now on, Mr. Sands if you choose to use the words 'out of your shadow' in promoting matches against me...it's gonna cost you."

"Based on initial market research, the cash flow from your first promo alone would have garnered me wages in the six figure range. And thus, I see this as a very lucrative investing venture indeed."

"But Chris, I still find you a bit of a sad strange little man."

"You're obsessed with me. That much is clear."

"Even when we aren't facing each other directly, you use my name so loosely I half expect Paul Reubens to jump out from behind you and scream "YOU SAID THE MAGIC WORD!!!" and confetti to come raining down like Manhattan in October."

"You say you looked up to me."


"But there's some fault to be found in your premise, Christian."

"I don't really recall you busting up out of my shadow, bro."

"Let's talk about SCW a little bit."

"To borrow from Troy Windham a bit....."

"FACT - G.O.D. was a force before anyone over there ever heard the name Christian Sands."

"FACT - Christian Sands was brought along for the ride at the suggestion of....who? Me."

"FACT - I left the group as soon as I got bored with it and never looked back."

"FACT - Your ill-timed attack on me in order to attempt to move out of my shadow was met with not only the loss at my hands that you mentioned, but a beatdown that saw you go through every table in the building prior to said match."

"You're walking around with your head up high like you're some tough little s**t lately, but the fact will always remain that you are inexorably and irreversably in my shadow for life, Sands."

"Even this World Title reign of yours....where was it again??"

"Oh right, Empire Pro."

"Wait, who runs Empire Pro?"

"Christian, no matter how much you wave that shiny belt around and puff our your little chest as World Champ the truth will always remain that you work for me. Beat who you want, say what you will. You're my employee. And just like in SCW, if I get bored with you as my champ I'll cast you aside."

"Pray you're not repackaged as Mr. Empire and sent to Rome to fight Gladiator in a series of gimmicky 'Ancient Rome' matches."

"And I saw the match with Rabesque."

"Great great match."

"But alas, even in your finest moment you still remain firmly entrenched in a meaningless match showing off your 'skill' while I wrestle for a World Title near the top of the card."

"After all of these realizations sink in, Chris...think on a simple truth."

"I'm damn near impossible to beat."

"You'll never be able to step out of my shadow because when it comes down to it, the one that put you in my shadow to begin with was you."

"You set your path long ago, and it won't be undone at my expense."

"Not today."

"You think you've come so far. But you're the same loud-mouthed punk who thinks he deserves more than what he's received. And you're still clinging on to my coattails to make your name, whether it's by winning my own company's World title or putting your eggs into this basket."

"But I suppose 'progress' is in the eye of the beholder."

"After all, you did get rid of the skull...."


04-15-04, 08:14 PM
(FADEIN: Nothing so grandiose as Trump Towers. As usual, the trenchcoated CHRISTIAN SANDS has selected a more remote locale - this time the shoulder of a country road running between two farm fields. SANDS leans with his elbows propped against his black Lamborghini, his shades pushed down the bridge of his nose somewhat.)

Sands: Life's a funny thing, isn't it, Dan? You think you've got it pegged, but you'll miss the really important stuff if you don't know where and when to look.

Or if you don't WANT to look.

In a sense, Dan, everything you said about me was spot-on, BUT... you've failed to look at the big picture. Let me spell it out for you.

When you invited me to come along for the ride and play around with the little kiddies in SCW, I was more than happy to oblige. After all, having modeled my career on yours, who was I to turn down your offer? But by kicking me and the others to the curb when you finished with us, you showed me your true colors. That's when I realized that you weren't the man to look up to anymore, and that by doing so I was wasting myself. Naturally, I took action. Yes, you did beat me, but that's not what the world remembers, is it?

What the world remembers, Dan, is me mocking you as you lay facedown in your own filth. What the world remembers is me going on to win the International Title against the man you could never defeat and beginning my own chapter in the history books, rather that continuing on as a footnote in yours.

You may own Empire Pro, Dan, but I'll tell you right now that without me, that promotion would've died from the get-go. I was there from the beginning to give it enough momentum to get moving, and I'm still there to draw more money and pop more buyrates than anyone under contract. It's been proven before that people don't tune in to see the staff - they tune in to see the wrestlers, of which I am paramount.

Considering that my match at Battleground Britain was my third match back from six months of rehab, I hardly think you have anything to brag about by being higher on that card. Especially considering the title you defended. Not that I have a problem with Merritt - I did, after all, sign a contract with him just last evening - but you and I both know that a title with fifteen years of history is going to be defended near the top of the card no matter how many classic wrestling showcases are signed for. Besides, from what I remember, you couldn't make it to the following episode of Revolution. Why was that, Dan? Could it be because I and my colleagues beat you to within an inch of your life? Hmmmmm. I wonder.

I think, Dan, that you're pulling the wool over your own eyes. You can't bring yourself to see me as anything more than the same punk I was a year and a half ago despite the fact that I've become so much more. What's wrong, Danny? Afraid I might steal a little of your thunder? Hoping that by burying your head in the sand, you'll make me go away? Think again.

You claim that beating you is near impossible. Good. I've built my career on accomplishing the impossible. How many people thought I was going to win the EPW Title, hm? People thought my match with Beast was nothing more than a formality to declare Beast champion, but I did what everyone thought was impossible by claiming the title. Maybe I sound like a broken record here, but accomplishing the impossible is pretty much my trademark by now.

Putting myself in your shadow, Dan, was the biggest mistake of my career. Fortunately, I've been able to drag one positive out of it. My drive to rectify that mistake has brought me to heights I never could've imagined. It's given me even more incentive to succeed, Dan - to prove to myself that I'm not just a little you.

At Crash TV, I will do everything within my power to ensure that my efforts are finally vindicated. And despite your feeble protests to the contrary, that vindication WILL come at your expense, because as the focal point of my error it is your expense at which said vindication must come.

Let's see you talk about progress, Dan, when I'm standing over you in victory. When MY shadow is falling across YOU.

Then, Dan... Then, we'll have seen progress.

Plenty of progress indeed.


04-17-04, 07:18 AM
"Good boy, Spot. Now FETCH!! ROLL OVER!! GOOD BOY!!"



Behind our massive hero is a large "NFW" banner complete with North logo.

It fills the screen and fills our hearts with joy, as we pause mere moments to soak in the atmosphere before....

Ryan: "Christoph, I see we're going to need to take some time on this."

"So as much as I hate to interrupt your little sojourn into the country where no doubt you've been 'DELIVERANCED' at least twice.....hillbillies love Lamborghinis I'm told....."

"I'm going to have to ask that you have a seat - careful, I know it's sore - and listen up."

"You're an odd little egg, Christian. You're the type who constantly is impressed by himself to the detriment of his own career just about every time I see you. Newspaper clippings line your walls, while they line my birdcage."

"Furthermore, you seem to choose the wrong newspapers to read. You seem to think the 'world' reads the Timbuktu Times and such while simultaneously being regaled by the exploits of Christian Sands."

"But let's focus."

"Superior Championship Wrestling. You like that place. You bring the place up every time you're within earshot of me. You did it, you won some title there. I'll indulge you."

"See....how do I break this to you...."

"Ah yes...an example."

"You know me. You like me. You've followed me around like a puppy dog for years now. I'm sure you've got the Best of Dan Ryan video collection and I'm positive you've been sitting on pins and needles out in the woods waiting for this reply. Now think about something....and think real hard."

"How many times have I mentioned SCW in the entire time you've known me since that company closed?"

"Think, Christian....and don't bulge that vein out that we all love so much. Think......just like Winnie the Pooh......think think think think think....."

"Now then, how many times have you mentioned it?"

"Probably won't have to think as hard on this one...."

"See, this saddens me. You obviously haven't picked up on something that I have, and as your former hero it makes me think that you just may be falling a bit behind in your development."

"The truth is, Christian....and this will double as my first point for the sake of debate....."

"I don't think anyone remembers Superior Championship Wrestling at all."

"I generally don't mention the goings on of the place simply because no one around you was watching, bro. I don't how to tell you all this without hurting your feelings....but your career....as far as anyone in these parts know, began with your entry into this company and with your match against Jean Rabesque."

"You asked for a spot in this company, Chris....and Craig Miles asked me who you were. And Chris...."

"Craig and I don't even really talk."

"As for Empire Pro...Chris....surely even you aren't going to persist with the notion that you're keeping the company afloat and that your match with Beast was a display of one man besting another man's best effort."

"Christovius, let's think back to that warm night in Empire Pro. A young upstart fresh off of a sixty-plus minute draw had his chance to make his mark against a proven A1E commodity who was looking to make a statement to the rest of the wrestling world."

"At ringside, Lindsay Troy....cheering on her man."

(The camera pans and we see Troy off to the side, but still in front of the backdrop. She angrily points the cameraman back to Ryan and he quickly obliges.)

"And in the front row....bringing the fans to their wits end with hilarity?"


"You see, Christian. There are some indignities attached to your name that you may not even be aware of. Indignities such as needing a full compliment of entertainment at ringside in order to save the show from a 'buyrate' standpoint. Indignities such as why Suicide isn't on the roster anymore."

"Oh ho ho...."

"I won't dig too deeply for you on that one."

"Christian....how can you steal my thunder when you haven't even realized that it's raining?"

"But no, young upstart.....you need look no further than the space around you to find the true answer to your query."

"Who then, is the true star of Empire Pro Wrestling?"

"I wonder what buyrates would do were I to simply sell to ....oh I don't know. John Doe for example? Or how about Tyrone Walker?"

"After all, viewers don't tune in to watch staff. Surely my face on EPW TV does nothing for the fortune of my company."

"But then....I....being owner, actually have access to things like budget and buyrates and ratings and all of the other good things that vitalize my bottom line."

"So again, I'll ask you to think hard...."

"Why am I on TV in my own company? Why.....why why why?...."

"I mean...there have been shows that I wasn't on...."

"Hmm...what would it have been about those shows that caused the variation that led to coming back on the show?"

"Well, I'm not smart enough to figure out how to run my company. So I'll let you mull it over and tell me next time out. Good boy."

"And that leads me to my second point."

"I make the stars in Empire Pro, Sands....not you, not anyone else. If I want you to succeed, you will. If I don't.....Beast won't......"

"I MEAN....."


"You won't."

"You want vindication, Chris. I can't give that to you. You want respect. Everyone wants respect. From Copycat to Eric Davis to Troy Windham....to Christian Sands."

"I can't give you what you seek, Christian....because you've clouded your fat head with so much hype and too little substance. Little do you know that if you had actually paid attention to how I carry myself and how I go about doing my business instead of using the words as a gimmick to set you up for the big 'break out', you'd already know this."

"I survive in this sport despite chuckleheads like you riding my name to achieve accolades."

"I survive and excel by hard work and by having the confidence in myself to know who I am and what I stand for."

"I prove it out time and time again because I practice it without waver."

"I make it because I tore down all of the bulls**t....."

Ryan turns and violently rips down the NFW banner, revealing a crowded Manhattan street behind the scene - heavy traffic and people milling around close enough to share the next person's breath.

"....and saw the real world behind the facade a long time ago."

"And besides, Chris....there are forces at work that will make sure you never beat me."


"Don't you read the Torch?"

Ryan smirks and walks away....Lindsay Troy catches up and flashes a grin over her shoulder at the camera as they disappear into the crowd.....