View Full Version : Cemetery Gates

12-16-03, 06:42 PM
(CUT TO: The iron gates of an unidentified cemetery. CUT TO: THe sweeping hillside had tombstones all over the landscape. The camera pans right where, standing there are "FABULOUS" FRANKIE FARGO and "THE NEW AMERICAN GIGOLO" BRANDON MUELLER-- clad with mullets, bow-ties and confederate flag-themed capes. Mueller is also holding a can of spray paint and is cackling. Fargo holds one of the gold title belts.)

FARGO: Cemeteries. Eye've been to a few. First tahme eye went to one was back in '72, when they sent my daddy back home from 'Nam in a bag. Ya'll know what *HE* got? Ya'll know what *WE* got when he took a bullet from a Cong member hiding in a mud hut? We got a letter, an American flag and nuthin' else. Everyone just FORGOT about the Fargo family. The government up there in DC, the government CONTROLLED by a bunch of rich Yankee cowards from up North, the same people who DODGED THE DRAFT 'cause they wuz able to go to college while my daddy had to work in a plant... they ain't even say THANK YOU to him or to us for his ULTIMATE sacrifahce. Instead, they PULL OUT of the fight just because some long-haired fruits UP NORTH burn the flag in protest.

Uh uh. Nobody paid any tribute to MAH daddy-- MAH hero-- when he done got shot in the forehead. Ain't nobody wrote ME letters when EYE... one half of the greatest tag team on this planet... got FRAMED and placed in a NORTH GEORGIA JAIL CELL for crahms that EYE DID NOT COMMIT. Nobody paid any TRIBUTE to me. Nobody paid me no mahnd, 'cept for my partner in crahm and for Calvin Carlton, this sports GREATEST mahnd.

And that brings us here. A coupl'a punks came out here last week and laid down a CHALLENGE. Colt and Berretta... The Swat Team... said that they all wanted to have ONE LAST MATCH before they got put out to pasture. They said that they wanted to do it because one of their heroes just died...

Well, boys, challenge accepted. But just know this-- if Hawk and Animal was as good as you SAY they was, then they would've gotten one up on The OSS. We still here-- they long gone. If they was as good as you say... they would've held THIS. (Fargo taps the title.) There's only ONE tag team that is the best ever, and you're lookin' at them.

But when we was gone, all that happened to us is that WE DONE GOT RIPPED OFF. No letters. No phone calls. No tributes. Just a buncha homosexuals stealin' OUR names and a bunch of HASSS BEEENS cryin' because their boyhood hero died.

(The camera pans down to a tombstone. It reads "Laurentis." Underneath that it reads RIP LOD Hawk. Mueller shakes the spray can and starts to spray O-S-S on the tombstone.)

That's what we all think of YA'LLS heroes. Ya'll spit on my fathers grave, ahma spit on YOURS. Naw-- naw... eye ain't gonna spit... heh...

(Fargo pulls down his tights. Then, a splashing sound is heard against the tombstone. Mueller is beside himself with laughter.)

WHAT A RUSH! C'mon, Stud. Let's get out of here.

(Fargo and Mueller then strut across the cemetery. FTB.)

12-18-03, 01:25 AM
I'll throw something up tomorrow, I just wanted to point something out.....I don't know if this was on purpose or not...

Road Warrior Hawk (RIP): Mike Hegstrand
Road Warrior Animal: Joe Laurinitas;)