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TBirdSCIL
02-21-03, 03:35 AM
(CUE-UP: "Are YOu Ready" by AC/DC. FADE-IN: A high speed aerial shot over Lake Erie as the camera approaches downtown Cleveland at a rapid pace. The buildings come into view and and the camera stops as it reaches within a quarter-mile of the shoreline. A golden GLCW logo superimposes itself above the Cleveland skyline. CUT-TO: The inside of the Agora Theater in Cleveland as the main guitar part of "Are You Ready" kicks in. The facility is absolutely packed, with people seemingly hanging from the rafters and going wild knowing the cameras are on. Several signs are shown, including, "THE TIME HAS COME TO RAGE!!", "I WANT TO BE SELF-ACTUALIZED", "I HAVE LADY V'S NUDE PHOTOS", and "ANARKY FEARS MAELSTROM". The camera pans the crowd a bit more. CUE-UP: King's coronation music. The camera cuts to the locker room entrance, and emerging from the curtain are several buglers dressed in royal regalia. They walk out two-by-two with a total of ten buglers. Next, more royally garbed men emerge from the curtain, this time carrying a throne which barely makes it through the entrance. Sitting on top of the throne wearing a GLCW polo shirt and blue jeans is none other than Jake Shades, who almost bumps his head on the top of the entrance as the throne emerges. He yells at the guys carrying the throne, and they continue on down the aisle. The crowd gives a HUGE reaction, many throwing garbage and booing their heads off, while others are applauding. Shades gets nailed right in the face with an empty cup and threatens to jump off the throne but he stays put. The buglers make it to the announce position and line up on either side of the table as Tony Ross and Rick Wiseman look on in wide-eyed shock. The throne is placed on the floor, and one of the "servants" helps Shades off the throne. Shades almost trips over his own feet, then turns and yells at the servant to blame it on him. Shades shouts out at the crowd and then makes his way over to the announcer's table, where Tony Ross and Rick Wiseman await.)

TONY ROSS: "Rick, this is the apocalypse. I am speechless."

RICK WISEMAN: "Tony, we will get through it, we will find a way."

(Shades fumbles with the headset for a few moments, forgetting how to put it on. The "servant" helps him with it and Shades pushes him away. The servants and buglers then turn and leave with the throne as the crowd continues to react to Shades.)

JAKE SHADES: "Hot DAMN it's great to be back!!"

T.R.: "Hello and welcome to this week's edition of GLCW Riptide, coming from the jam packed Agora Theater in Cleveland, Ohio! Well Shades, you've gone and done it. You have blackmailed the owner of GLCW into giving you a job as an announcer by using nude pictures of his girlfriend, who happens to be our backstage interviewer. You have hit an all-time low and I for one and completely disgusted and refuse to acknowledge you as a professional, and therefore you will be treated as such."

J.S.: "Be careful Ross, I might find nude pictures of your wife and blackmail you OUT of a job! (looks at Wiseman) And I don't believe we've ever had the pleasure of meeting...what was your name again? Dick Hymen?"

R.W.: "It's Rick Wiseman, Shades, we met in the NFWA. Now sit down and pretend to be an announcer."

J.S.: "Hey man, I can do whatever I want out here, I'm the king of the world! I got the run of the lot out here, and no one can stop me! Not even Malec! And it's high time somebody started praising some of the REAL talents around here like Michael Manson and Anarky, and not pukes like Frenchy the Fruitcake and Maelbum! The times they are a changin' folks!! Ha ha ha ha! It's good to be king!"

T.R.: "OK fans, in case you missed GLCW Massive Assault from Grand Rapids, Michigan, Jake Shades apparently showed GLCW owner Scott Malec nude photos of Lady Veronica, our backstage interviewer and Malec's girlfriend. Shades forced Malec to give him an announcing job or he would distribute the photos all over the internet worldwide. And Malec had no choice but to cave in. And now we have to suffer through listening to this cretin for the next two hours."

J.S.: "Soak it up, Rossy, you know you miss me! And I know Dick over here has been looking forward to working with me all week! I hope you like to drink Dick, because we're going out after the show to celebrate my first broadcast!"

R.W.: "I'd rather lick frozen doorknobs."

T.R.: "But much more went down at Massive Assault, fans, including Maelstrom's huge title win over Michael Manson in the covered steel cage, to take the Great Lakes Title away from him! We also saw Kraven and Flatliner try to interfere in the match and get into the cage, but they were fended off by a huge man wearing a black hood! Nobody knows who he is, but whoever he is, he's one hell of a fighter for taking out both of the Tag Team Champions!"

(Highlights are shown)

J.S.: "What a farce that was, Manson was clearly distracted by all that mess and that's what allowed Maelbum to put the Mortal Sin on! You sign a rematch right now and I'll bet my salary that Manson will come out on top over the brainless pile of monkey dung!"

T.R.: "You better watch what you say Shades, Maelstrom will not take that stuff for one minute!"

J.S.: "I don't see him coming out here, do you?"

T.R.: "Whatever! Also, we saw none other than Anarky show up after the match and he punked Maelstrom out when he had his back turned! It is clear that Anarky has targeted Maelstrom!"

R.W.: "Yes, but he's got a long road ahead of him before he can get his hands on Maelstrom in a ring, you can't just walk into GLCW and get a Great Lakes Title shot just like that."

J.S.: "Hey, why not? I just walked into GLCW an got an announcer's job so anything is possible! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

T.R.: "(sigh) Another huge match was the 'I Quit' Match between Sean Edmunds and Jean Rabesque! I have never seen Rabesque and Edmunds bring themselves to that kind of brutality in the ring! It was shocking as much as it was thrilling, but Rabesque made Edmunds say 'I Quit' to come out the victor!"

J.S.: "That's the downfall of being an announcer here, I have to actually sit and watch Rabesque wrestle in the ring, which is about the equivalent of watching paint dry! He's gonna get his tail kicked in that six-man tonight!"

T.R.: "That remains to be seen! Also, Kraven and Flatliner successfully defended their tag titles against Nick Kurtel and Xanatos and The Jobber also had a successful defense against Golem in a best of three falls match!"

J.S.: "What the hell is with Golem lately! He has completely lost his killer instinct, playing footsie with Frenchy and tagging up with that ape Maelstrom! He needs to get back to ripping people's throats out with his Claw instead of trying to please everyone! I'd never thought I'd be criticizing him!"

T.R.: "And I never thought I'd see you again! But what a huge show Massive Assault was, and tonight here in Cleveland we have another huge GLCW event! Our main event will be a massive six-man match pitting the Great Lakes Champion Maelstrom, along with Jean Rabesque and Golem against Tag Team Champions Kraven and Flatliner and former Great Lakes Champion Michael Manson! That should be explosive!"

R.W.: "That match will definitely be something to see, as the titans of the GLCW will clash right here in Cleveland and this crowd is definitely stoked for it. It will be interesting to see if Anarky plays a part in that."

T.R.: "Also, we will see The Jobber defend his Television Title against Jarod Poe!"

J.S.: "This guy Poe just doesn't know when to quit. How many times has the Jobber humbled him? A dozen? He's just like Maelstrom, a big dumb clown that only knows one speed and direction, forward. And he'll go forward right into another loss!"

R.W.: "I tend not to agree, Poe has been very close to beating The Jobber and I think that this may be his night. Poe is just double-tough and can absorb anything The Jobber dishes out."

T.R.: "We saw what Poe is capable of at Massive Assault, as he dismantled his arch-rival The Masked Blazer in stunning fashion in that Detroit Street Fight! Fans, before we went on the air, we saw 'Showtime' Steven James take on 'Lost Cause' Chris O'Neill in a match pitting two youngsters who have been down on their luck."

R.W.: "And O'Neill certainly did look like a Lost Cause out there as he basically sleep-walked through the match and James took him apart."

T.R.: "Steven James got the decisive victory with a sleeper neckbreaker and sent O'Neill right back to the drawing board! I'm looking for big things out of James in the future."

J.S.: "The only thing big that's gonna come out of him is a bowel movement after a long night at Taco Bell! That kid is more interested in molesting Lady V than he is on the ring, and he must be salivating over the nude pics I have of her! Hey James, 100 bucks will get you a negative! Ha ha ha!"

T.R.: "Ok, if Shades is done being obnoxious, let's go up to Matt Faley for our first match!"

(CUT-TO: Matt Faley standing at mid-ring)

MATT FALEY: "Ladies and gentlemen, in our first match, coming to the ring," (CUE-UP: "Take a Message" by Remy Shand) "from Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in at 210lbs., SPIDER MURPHY!! His partner, from Bombay, India, weighing in 279lbs., 'BOLLYWOOD' RAHUL SETH!! They are the SPIDER MURPHY EXPERIENCE!!"

(The crowd boos as Murphy and Seth walk to ringside. Murphy antagonizes as many fans as he can while Seth quietly walks in front of him to the ring. Murphy jaws even more as he climbs into the ring.)

M.F.: "And their opponents," (CUE-UP: "Theme to Quake II" by Rob Zombie) "From London, England, weighing in at 256lbs., ROCKY WELLINGTON!! His partner, from Austin, Texas, weighing in at 293lbs., SHANE ROCKWELL!! They are the MOVEMENT!! They are accompanied by Britni!!"

(The crowd pops as the Movement comes out with Britni, with many hoots and cat calls being thrown towards their valet. Both men wear black trunks while Britni is decked out in a hot pink halter top and white painted on pants. She bounces along to the ring and presents her team to the crowd.)'

T.R.: "Well, it has been a while since we've seen The Movement, and..."

J.S.: "And for good reason! The last time they were in the ring, my boys Kraven and Flatliner practically killed them! They would be wise to stay clear of the UA in the future, because the next time they won't be lucky enough to keep their mobility!"

R.W.: "The Movement recently took a tour of Japan and they have honed their skills so they can make a mark here in GLCW, which has become ridiculously competitive lately."

T.R.: "That's right, Rick, Anarky, Nemesis, and Larry Tact have all shown up in GLCW recently, and rumors are flying about of even more talent that may show up as early as tonight! 'Rage o' Fire" Jared Wells is just one of the confirmed new signings we will hear from tonight!"

J.S.: "Oh God, not 'Rage o' Fart'! That guy should have been buried and stayed buried after the FWF!"

T.R.: "Well he's here Shades, so deal with it! Shane Rockwell, the huge Texan, is going to start it off with Spider Murphy, and this Murphy guy never shuts his mouth! We saw the Spider Murphy Experience debut a few days ago at a show in Hammond, Indiana, and they looked really good against another new team Martial Law, taking a big win! Let's see how they fare against the more experienced Movement here!"

J.S.: "Man, that Britni may even be hotter than Lady V! I may have to dig up some nude pictures of her myself, or maybe I'll just take them....with her permission of course!"

T.R.: "Shades, you couldn't even get permission to stay out past 8 o'clock when you were in high school so what makes you think you have a remote chance of accomplishing that? Anyways, Murphy is calling for a test of strength here and this is just insane against Rockwell! Rockwell grabs his arms and pushes Murphy right down to the mat and holds on to that knuckle-lock, as Murphy screams out in pain!"

R.W.: "Murphy needs to be a lot smarter than that if he wants his team to succeed here in GLCW, as the tag team division has grown by leaps and bounds."

T.R.: "I would be remiss not to mention another new tag team signing, the Oak Street Beach Patrol, and we will also hear from them later on!"

J.S.: "Oh joy, I can't wait to hear from those two North Beach rejects!"

T.R.: "Rockwell is in control here as he pulls Murphy to his corner and tags in Wellington. The Englishman is in quick and he grabs the knucklelock from Rockwell and turns his arms around, making the hold even more painful! Wellington kicks him in the gut and pulls him to his feet for a nice belly to belly suplex! Wellington goes over and yanks Murphy to his feet and whips him in! He catches him with a Fireman's carry drop! Nicely done!"

R.W.: "Wellington is the more pure wrestler of the team, while Rockwell is the powerhouse, but he has proven in the past that he can take it to the mat, and that stint in Japan probably reinforced those skills."

J.S.: "I hope he reinforced his intestines because that food over there is absolutely putrid! I ate something resembling a squid one time last year and I was puking up stuff I ate in 1993!"

T.R.: "That's just...pleasant, Shades. Wellington hits a backbreaker on Murphy and tags Rockwell back in! Murphy goes crawling for the corner but Rockwell grabs his legs! He pulls Murphy up and goes for a press slam, but Murphy is able to get a thumb to the eye in! Rockwell drops him and Murphy dives for the corner and tags in his Indian partner Rahul Seth! Rumor has it Seth was a filmmaker in India and came to America seeking fortune, but ended up as Spider Murphy's partner! Don't ask me how!"

J.S.: "They probably met at the convenience store when Murphy was picking up a six-pack and some beef jerky!"

T.R.: "Seth comes in and kicks Rockwell in the gut and hits a huge kneelift! Rockwell goes down and Seth drops a big elbow on him! Seth is no small man either, his 5'10" frame carrying around 280lbs.! Seth rubs Rockwell's face in the mat and that's only serving to anger Rockwell and he fights his way to his feet! Rockwell misses wildly with a punch and Seth is able to back suplex him, showing some strength! Seth is up and grabs a leg and drops an elbow on the knee!"

R.W.: "Which would be a wise strategy to take the big man off his feet and neutralize any power moves he would be able to perform."

T.R.: "Seth twists on that knee and drops another elbow on it! Murphy continually shouting instructions in at Murphy and now he wants a tag! Seth tags him in and Murphy charges in and drops another elbow on the knee! He pulls Rockwell up and tries to slam him! No dice! Rockwell blocks and bashes him over the back with a double axehandle! Again! Murphy is down and Rockwell kicks him in the gut and tags in Wellington! Wellington climbs the top rope and waits for Murphy to get up! Somersault Sunset flip from the top!! 1......2.....No!! Murphy is able to kick out!"

R.W.: "Great high flying move by Wellington, showing that he can take to the air when needed and that he's not just limited to a mat-based style!"

J.S.: "How much do you think they pay to keep Britni around? You know she's not hanging around these two clowns for friendship."

T.R.: "I don't know, you're an investigative journalist now, why don't you ask them after the match! Murphy is on his feet and Wellington misses a dropkick! Murphy pulls him up and hits a stiff forearm! He hooks Wellington for a big DDT! A cover!! 1.....2...No!! Murphy stays on top and begins pounding away at the head of Wellington, but Wellington is able to push him off! Murphy rolls right back on top of him and pounds away some more!"

R.W.: "Murphy is showing that he is more of a brawler than a pure wrestler, as he won't let Wellington up without pounding away at him'

J.S.: "Spider Murphy....didn't Rocky fight him in the first movie?"

T.R.: "I don't have my Rocky guidebook handy, Shades. Murphy pulls Wellington up and goes for a suplex but it's blocked! Wellington hits a suplex of his own! Wellington is up and he tags in Rockwell! The big man climbs in and pummels the back of Murphy! He whips Murphy in and hits a huge clothesline!! Here comes Seth and he gets clobbered and falls right out of the ring! Wellington grabs Murphy and hits a masisve full nelson slam!! Ouch!! He pulls Murphy up and he has him in a fireman's carry! Into an airplane spin!! He spins Murphy a few times and hits a Death Valley Driver!! Rockwell calls that the Final Approach and this is over!! 1.....2....3!! The Movement picks up the win!!"

R.W.: "The Final Approach was one of the moves Rockwell picked up in Japan, and we will see in the coming weeks what other moves he has added to his deadly arsenal."

M.F.: "Ladies and gentlemen, your winners, THE MOVEMENT!!"

(CUE-UP: "Theme to Quake II" by Rob Zombie)

(Britni walks past the announce table on her way into the ring)

J.S.: "Hey Britni, I got a stiff proposition and I heard you had an opening, baby! What say we meet up after the show?"

(Britni just blows him off and climbs into the ring to celebrate)

T.R.: "Always a class act Shades, it's a wonder you don't have women crawling all over you at all times."

J.S.: "I do, you're just not around when it happens because I don't want you molesting my ladies."

T.R.: "Um, yeah. Anyways, The Movement picks up the big win here in Cleveland! We will be back with much more Riptide after this on Fox Sports Net!"

(CUT-TO: King Krusher's office. Michael Manson is sitting in his chair and playing with one of his pens. Krusher walks in, wearing a GLCW polo and black jeans. The crowd pops in the background)

KING KRUSHER: "You got about five seconds to explain how you got in here and why."

MICHAEL MANSON: "You know how God works in mysterious ways?"

K.K.: "Yeah."

M.M.: "So do I."

K.K. "Get to the point."

M.M.: "Don't worry, there is a reason why I'm here...and it's not to simply pilfer your writing instruments. (tosses the pen aside) I want Jared Justice kept away from me and banned from ringside. You and I both know that he can run in at anytime and you saw last week he had a blowtorch."

K.K.: "And why should I do that for you Manson? A man that has terrorized half the locker room and stalked the owner's girlfriend?"

M.M.: "That was never proven and you know it. But what has been proven is that Justice is a maniac with a blowtorch with a desire to burn me alive. The simplest logic I can use even for a man such as you is that if I get burned, there will be no main event. Also, people at ringside can get hurt as well. You can't argue with that logic, Krusher, not even with me."

K.K.: (furrowing his brow knowing Manson is right).......Yeah yeah, you got a point. I will have Justice quarantined until his match. But I don't want to see you ANYWHERE in the vicinity of his locker room, or Lady V's, or this office, or anywhere else. Stay in your locker room and you will be fine. Got it?"

M.M.: "All I ask is for the safety of myself and the people who paid good money to see me."

K.K.: "Yeah, I can just see the sincerity in your eyes, Manson. Get out of here."

(With that Manson leaves. K.K. sits down, puts his arms behind his head and breathes a deep sigh. Fade to a commercial for the upcoming house card in Green Bay)