View Full Version : Draggin' The Line

07-02-03, 10:27 AM
(CUT TO: A Confederate Flag banner, with the letters O-S-S spraypainted onto it. Underneath the banner stand "FABULOUS" FRANKIE FARGO and "AMERICAN GIGOLO" BRANDON MUELLER-- wearing oversized sunglasses, Confed Flag bandans, bowties, tux tails. Fargo's NFW World Title is strapped tight around his waist. Mueller holds his up, using it as a mirror to primp his mullet.)

FARGO: AH TOLD YOU YA'ALL. AH TOLD EACH AND EVERY SINGLE LAHST ONE OF YA'LL PIECES OF GARBAGE. Heh. (Fargo spits.) The Original ShowStoppers-- THE OH ESS ESS-- weren't just the best dahmn tag team of the 80's. We're the best dahmn tag team of TODAY also. We came back here to RECLAIM-UH OUR HERITAGE after two queerbait UNMORAL PORNOGRAPHERS came up to our sport and DONE STOLE OUR NAME, OUR DANCE STEP AND OUR IMAGE. Well, GUESS WHA? Eye don't see no RY-UHN here. Eye don't see no LIN-CULN out here. We ran them off faster than a Mexican on work release tryin' to make it to the border. We whipped them and beat them and sent them PACKIN'-- back to makin' their SIN-FUL-AH manporn videoes where they whip and beat EACH UTHUH. HellMachine? The tag team that could not be beat? WE RAN THEM BACK TO THE HOLE THEY CRAWLED OUT OF. WE TOOK THEIR TITLES AND STOLE THEM... (Mueller looks at the camera and blows a kiss) AND NOW THEY AHRS.

Eye don't care WHO done got in our way. Storm. Gladiator and Doc. It don't matter. ANY OF YA'LL GET IN AHR WAY... you'll get some ol' fashioned Southern STREET JUSTICE performed on ya'll. Ya'll think ahm a man to be triflin' with? EYE LOST SEVEN YEARS OF MAH LIFE-- put in a Selma, Alabama JAIL CELL FOR CRAHMS EYE DID NOT COMMIT. Ya'll think jail was pretty? Ya'll think jail was fun? Heh. (Fargo spits again.) Well, makin' shanks out of soda cans IS fun. Tearin' flesh with a homemade knahfe made out of a whittled chicken bone IS fun. Ah miss it, stabbin' at people, ah really do. Bustin' Yankee Trash in the face? That's fun too. But next tahm someone tries an' take THESE from us? (Mueller taps on his title.) Heh. Ahm a play a jailyard game and try and puncture another man's kidneys. Ah ain't goin' back to where ah been-- and these titles gonna KEEP me from goin' back there.

C'mon, Stud. Let's go beat up some chicks at the mall.

(Fargo and Mueller strut off. FTB.)

07-02-03, 11:21 AM
Frankie Fargo...please come to MY local mall.