View Full Version : The Montezuma Conference

06-26-03, 09:34 AM
(FADEIN: ARMANDO MONTEZUMA standing in front of the NFW North banner, flanked by RAUL on his left and COJONES MERCADO on his right. MERCADO holds a chair reading "Cojones Swings With Authority".)

MONTEZUMA: Well, it only took ten frickin' months, but the (makes quote marks in the air) "new" NFW is FINALLY upon us, and all I have to say is - this is what happens when you put a woman in charge. I mean, Doc Martens, I've heard rumors in the locker room that you're good with your hands, but CLEARLY they weren't referring to your ability to pick names from a hat. Sure, you got beginner's luck when you got me with the first pick, but it was all downhill from there, toots. (MONTY looks up and down the roster list with disgust.)

First things first - is it just me - or did the NFW North get stuck with every sick freak to ever put on a pair of tights? Michael Manson...DC Stratton...and this new goober, Damien Priest - yeah, the guy with the jar - what the heck is THAT about? (MONTY knocks on the camera lens.) Hello, McFly - I'm a WRESTLER - I'm Cuba's National TREASURE - you can't put me in the ring with this kind of riff raff! Are YOU gonna call Senor Castro and explain it to him if I get hurt out there? Are YOU willing to accept the diplomatic consequences if one of those maniacs tries to end my career?

But that's not all - I have to ask, Doc, are the colors for NFW North GREEN - because we got more rookies and no-names than you can shake a stick at! Shawn Hart? It's a good thing that Bret Michaels was already taken by Poison, isn't it, sport? Matt Johannsen? Did you just pick some guy up off the STREET, for crying out loud? Jonathan Marx? (Smiles.) PLEASE tell me that this is a joke - this guy names his finisher "Marxism", but he looks like another yuppie capitalist American PUNK to me!

Then we've got your classic delusions of grandeur - Castor Strife and the cast of the Village People that follow him around - Castor, you want to be some kind of Hollywood director? Here's my advice to you - HIT THE BRICKS! Go for it! Head off to Tinseltown and get out of MY ring, so we don't have to waste anybody's FREAKIN' time! And then there's D.J. O'Havok - I don't know WHO you think you are, pal - or where you get off addressing ME in public - but let's get one thing straight. You want no spin? I'LL GIVE YOU NO SPIN! I'm a student of this business, and I know you for what you are - and that's a damn JOKE. You've got no business in the ring, and putting on a coat and tie on a pile of CRAP doesn't change the fact that it's a pile of crap.

Which brings me to the last group of stellar talent that Doc's magic fingers pulled for this roster - you know who you are (COJONES taps his chair) and where you came from, and I'll tell you right now - GO BACK. You don't want to come here, because this is MY house - this is MY ring - New Frontier Wrestling belongs to ME. It's a new era here in New Frontier Wrestling, and Armando Montezuma is through playing around. The Ultratitle - it belongs to ME - and none of you North Carolina nitwits are gonna stand in my way. Joey Melton, "Triple X" Sean Stevens, and oh yeah, you too Eli Flair - I've heard all the hype, and quite frankly, that's all it is - HYPE. You all may be big stars in the Can't Say it While on the Air, but let me ask you this - are ANY of you a National Treasure? I don't think so!

Joey Melton - last I checked you were wrestling MIDGETS for a living. Do yourself a favor and go back to the circus where you belong! Triple X - I suggest you hook up with Castor Strife and the two of you go make porno movies together, because you're WAY out of your league here.

And then there's Eli Flair - Eli, Craig Miles may think it's a big deal that you're here. Kerry O'Connor may think it's a big deal that you're here. Lamont Hollywood may think it's a big deal that you're here, and yeah, even the FANS may think it's a big deal that you're here. But EYE don't think it's a big deal, Eli - because EYE don't think you're that good. Yeah, you're tough - in the immortal words of Derrick Coleman, WHOOP DE DAMN DOO! I'm a WRESTLER, Eli - you think Evan Aho's good? When he sleeps, he DREAMS about being me, THAT'S how good I am! Eli Flair - you couldn't wrestle your way out of a paper bag, and that's the TRUTH!

I've been a good boy, Eli, and I've waited my turn - I've sat and watched while NFW was the Shane Southern and Bloodhunt show. Well, Bloodhunt beat Southern, and then took his belt and went home rather than put it on the line against me. The 80-year old albatross that was around my neck for a year and a half is gone - no more distractions, no more mind games, no more silly feuds, no more wasting my TIME making a senior citizen's life a living HELL just so he would get out of my sport - he's GONE, and for the first time in a long time, Eli, I'm FOCUSED. That's bad news for the rest of the NFW, Eli, and it's bad news for you.

This is MY conference, Eli - that's the bottom line - which means you and your other two buddies made the trip up here from Greensboro for nothing. Because, when push comes to shove, Eli - being good isn't gonna be good enough - because I personify EXCELLENCE. It's that simple, Eli.

You have two choices.

You're either going home...

or you're going DOWN!

06-27-03, 01:09 AM
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jun-27-03 AT 00:11 AM (EST)](FADE IN: Joey Melton in front of a NFW North Backdrop)

"Geez. Now you Cubans can talk too, huh. I'm just thankful Charlton Heston never lived to see the day."

"Go back to the circus? Son, what the hell do you think that twelve page document I initialized and signed aimed to do?"

"(singing) Da Da Dadadaaaada, da da da daddda."

"Armando, I don't doubt the NFW's been berry berry good to you, but now that the game is being played for actual coin, you've got to realize your role has changed. Hell, for all I know you could have headlined for a couple months around here back when 2 for 1 nights was still enough to operate on. If true, congrats for learning a new language and in general, staying in the country as long as you have. Really, ambition is like riding a mechanical bull. Gotta last eight seconds or you end up looking like a fool."

"You've stuck around. Bravo sport. (pumps fist) EYE think you De Man."

"Don't be one of these fools who resists change. Change is good Armando, and if you accept it, instead of being deported out of this business with nothing further to show for your effort than my boot print on your a**, you can take your rightful role in this circus. Which is serving me at every turn in exchange for a pat on the back, and five percent."

"Better men than you have worked for less."

"Fill the need, big man. Fill the need."


06-27-03, 09:26 AM
(FADEIN: ARMANDO MONTEZUMA standing in front of the NFW North backdrop, grinning.)

MONTEZUMA: Joey Melton, it's obvious from your incoherent ramblings that you don't have the first damn clue who I am. That's fine, Joey, I understand - after all, I'm over four feet tall, so I'm out of your target opponent demographic.

But you've got things all wrong, Joey - I'm not resisting change - I'm EMBRACING it. Because this is the new NFW - and this is MY time to shine. No more taking a back seat to Shane Southern and his loaded boot - no more taking a back seat to Bloodhunt and his constant BITCHING and MOANING - it's MY show now.

Joey Melton, you and the rest of your Greensboro goobers think you can waltz in here and rain on my parade? Not a CHANCE, pal. You want to step into my spotlight? Then you're gonna pay the price. And the price, Joey Melton, is HUMILIATION. You've got it pretty good down in Chad and Steve's Worthless Atrocity - living off whatever success you may have had in the past, basically putting on a comedy routine while the fans go get some popcorn, cashing a fat paycheck, but now Joey Melton, this isn't a comedy club. There are no midgets on the roster. Granted, there's the requisite array of freaks and rookies, but somewhere along the way, Melton, if you want to relive your past glory and capture another Ultratitle, you're gonna have to go through Cuba's National Treasure to do it.

And I'll be honest with you, Melton - you don't have what it takes! Not by a long shot. So, this is your last warning - do yourself a favor, pack your bags, and go back where you belong - wrestling munchkins and getting tepid laughs from a half-drunk crowd. Because if you try and play with the big boys, Melton, you're not dealing with the MEDIOCRITY you deal with down in Greensboro...you have to deal with EXCELLENCE.

Joey Melton, I'm giving you the same advice I gave to Eli Flair.

Go home...

or you're going DOWN.