View Full Version : The wonders of life

Mister Dread
04-30-02, 09:44 PM
::FADEIN on the NFW banner backstage at the Paul Tsongas arena. MISTER DREAD stands there, his eyes alight with mirth::

MISTER DREAD: Billy Gray, you've been all over the place lately. You've sure got a lot to say. You're confused,wandering in the unfamiliar landscape of your own mind. You're obviously crying out for help, Billy Gray. Well, cry out no more. Mister Dread is here for you. Here to HELP you. Help me help you, Billy.

MISTER DREAD: You're confused about the way you feel for the man-beast Nakita DuBov. I can help you with this. ::DREAD leans in close to the camera, conveying a sense of intamacy:: You see, Billy, there comes a time in every young man's life when his feelings about girls start to change. While before they were icky, cootie-ridden, vile little creatures, you begin to look at them in a new light. Suddenly they are wonderful, ethereal beings. Full of mystery and light and warmth. Don't worry, this is all normal. You might soon start to notice other changes. Something wrong with your voice. Hair where there was no hair before. Not to worry, Billy. This is all a normal and natural part of the maturing process.

MISTER DREAD: You've also decided to show your support of the Polish Prince. You're proud of him. Finally, he has accepted the dark side. Well who's the hypocrite now, Gray? You switch sides faster than a bi-sexual orgy. One minute, Prince is your bitter enemy. The sell-out. The preening peacock, begging for a crumb of the fan's paltry affections. But he pulls a few dirty tricks on ol' Mister Dread, and he's suddenly 'just like you'. Well, I got news for you. Rick Ryconik could club MIster Dread with a ball bat, choke me out, grab my tights AND put his feet on the ropes and still be a better man than you. Rick Ryconik is a living legend. You're a mongoloid. See the difference?

MISTER DREAD: Which returns me to DuBov. She too was your bitter enemy. Can anyone trust me? No, and that's the way I like it. And yet here you are, suddenly professing your love for Nakita. Like alllll of a sudden none of the things that make you what you are are important. ::mocking BILLY GRAY:: "I had a rough life. People mistreated me. I hate you all. I'm going to kick all your asses. Oh, except Rick Ryconik. Ummm, and Nakita DuBov ..."

MISTER DREAD: That's a load of sh*t. You've spent all this time telling the fans and the locker room how big a hypocrite they are. Well, guess what, pal. YOU'RE THE BIGGEST HYPOCRITE OF ALL.