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SenorJames
10-20-15, 12:09 AM
http://defiancewrestling.com/results/106 (http://defiancewrestling.com/results/106)

Read the show and leave some thoughts on the work that you and your fellow handlers put into this event. If you want to go bit by bit that's cool, if you want to do the short form checklist below that works as well. Hell, if you want to just leave some free form thoughts and comments on what stood out to you (good and bad), do that, just whatever you do, READ THE SHOW AND BE PART OF THE PROCESS. If for no other reason than to prove you're actively engaged and know what's going on with the rest of the group.

Anyway, this ends this arc. There will be one free week for everyone to read and react to this show, and then we dive right into planning for the next arc. Once at least a couple of groups start finalizing their plans (and I know some of us already have a start on this), the clock starts on everyone else to get their plans in order, and you better believe that I will be overseeing and making sure things are locked down tight. So take it easy, read the show, react to the show with feedback, and if you want to earn some brownie points, do some news for the lulz.

Then we jump right back on the horse ASAP.


What did we do right?


What did we do wrong?


Match of the Night?


Segment of the Night?


Top Face of the Night?


Top Heel of the Night?


On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?


Favorite Quotes?


Mark-Out Moments?


How was the overall reading experience?

Evan H.
10-20-15, 11:27 AM
Frank v Nicky
- Had a lot of fun writing this one, particularly proud of the staple gun to the tongue. Wanted to give the PPV a unique start, sort of like back when Raw would start with something crazy in the parking area or whatever, even before the opening credits... couple that with the ring and ringside being a total disaster area, I like the idea it had to go on first to accommodate all the cleanup. Moving on.

Rundown
- Glad we still had a rundown, the PPV cards should always be a great jumping in point for anyone starting to follow the DEF-verse, so a good recap of angles is always a must.

Donovan v Horry
- Love a good fireball spot. I reeeeeeeally want to see Donovan continue to evolve. Visually as well as character-wise. Now that he's a vile heel, I want more of the why. Give us some background, maybe do a promo or a news piece, something that delves into why this cat turned so far towards the dark side. Expound a little bit.

Mutual Respect
- Harmony and LT's mutual respect club. Good segment that continues the elevation of Harmony. Solid stuff from the DEF ladies. DIVA'S REVOLUTION MAGGLE! HAHAAAAAAA ... sorry.

Sharp v Bigsby
- Solid debut and one hell of a match involving one of my NPC babies... *sniff* I'm so proud.

Did You Hear Something
- So goddamn great and unique, I love you man. Welcome back! :)

Mushi v Harmony
- Fantastic match. The highlight of this feud has been the elevation of Harm and the evolution of Mushi. You guys knocked it out of the park this arc. Can't wait to see what's on tap for DEFtv. Like I've said in chats, a babyface Mushi could be a top top level babyface after a well written story of redemption. Good good shit.

Just Look Up... And Slightly To The Left
- The WWE-like transition from Sharp's promo to Lance chasing after Thomas Keeling was killer. Perfect succinct segment that packed in a lot in not a lot of space. Kudos.

Penn / Booya v Cancer / Walker
- There's bones here for this to continue and evolve into something red hot for the SoHer. I hope George and Jon are down to really kick this shit in the nuts, because Cancer and Penn are two of the most unique characters in the pantheon of the DEF-verse. Both, with a strong showing in the next arc, could shoot right up to the top of the card, easy.

Crash Landing:
See above. Welcome back sir. Couldn't have loved this more. Still beautifully treading that line between too gimmicky and just pain awesome sauce. Also, the bits about how Zane never gets used and how all the interview segments "go to Lance"... LOL... so wonderfully meta. Good job.

Ryan v Holiday
- Not sure what's next for Holiday, but Ryan looked strooooong here. Really good match that aired on the shorter side, which was nice.

Pain Is Coming To DEFIANCE
- Love seeing initiative like this, getting a seg in so soon after an application. Follows my advice for new writers, just start writing! We have a few legacy characters that have gotten over HUGE with solid consistent writing (LT, Ryan, Dusty, etc.) so there's lots of examples to follow. I like what I see, keep it up broseph and welcome.

Dusty v Box
- Bravo, James. An opus as per usual when you really tuck into a match like this. And thanks for the rub bud. :)

No More Freebies
- I really love the sort of re-framed HOSS with the "upgraded version" of their manager the focus on Angel this go around. The act hasn't missed a beat. Fantastic characterization as usual. So glad you're back man, Angel v Dusty is going to be doooooope.

Main Event
- Dames, Lindz and Brunk... what can you say? The BEST characterization in the whole fed. The subtle character stuff Lindz and Brunk are using to tell the story between Troy and Ryan is only possible because all of us know EXACTLY who LT and Dan are thanks to killer seg after killer seg week after week. And Damien, Jesus... at first I was put off by Eugene cursing so much, but then I stopped and thought about every douchebag neck-beard on XBox Live or on League of Legends and was like "Goddamn he did it again, he captured the essence of nerdom a-goddamn-gain." Fantastic job all around guys.

Justin
10-20-15, 07:30 PM
FDJ vs Corozzo
I absolutely loved this, and it was all Evan outside of initial concept. From the cold open in the parking lot, to the ring entrance of Frank, the cut-off promo, Jane on commentary, the emotion and violence in the match psychology. Top fucking marks, Evan! This match makes me want to do more with Frank, and also it makes me want him to do the Brody "through the crowd" entrance because the DEFaithful would eat that shit all the way up.

The Rundown - AoD Edition
I love these, and not because they're just there, but because they're different every time. These rundowns add some serious character to our shows! Kudos to Jimmy-Jamz on this one!

Horry vs Donovan
Okay, I had a huge problem with the fact that the tense changed three times in every sentence. We write in present tense in DEF, but I'd have even been okay with past tense if it had been uniform throughout. This made the entire match hard to read for me. That said, it was a great return for Sam who looked like a million bucks, and got so much heat from Jake (get it, heat, fire, huh-huh?) that I can't wait to see this continue. Just get your tense right next time!

Mutual Respect
I liked this one despite the somewhat stilted dialouge. LT is the matron of all things DEF, so it's good to see her encouraging the younger Harmony. I generally am not a fan of the "I M WOMAN, I R EQUAL" schtick, but you ladies don't lay it on too thick here and what's there is warranted. Good character building and relationship building, can't complain about anything here.

Sharp vs Bigsby
Classic power vs speed match, Andy Sharp is a great "get" for DEF, and I'm glad the character is fitting in. This is another great introduction match for another great character!

Did You Hear Something?
Filler segment is filler.

Mushi vs Harmony
Another power vs speed match, which to be honest should have been placed somewhere else on the card just for differences sake. That aside, good matc with good psychology. Mushi going bonkers is always a plus, and Harmony's Fighting Spirit once again makes her damn near unbeatable. The post-match really put the heat on Mushi, though, I hope Rob can capitalize this time.

Just Look Up... and Slightly to the Left
Nice pure babyface promo from Andy Sharp (Curtis Penn look out!) leading right into the formal introduction of Thomas Keeling into DEFIANCE! I dig this kind of hard-switch, it's fun, and it works. Solid stuff from Seth all the way around as usual!

Penn/Booya vs CCJ/Walker
Penn's introduction is priceless. Solid tag match, big ups to Dan for pinch-hitting here! Booya and Penn look good, which is always good, and Jiles is probably back on the shelf because REASONS. Moving right along...

Crash Landing
Henry. Fucking. Keyes. 'Nuff said. The more I read his crazy hijinks the more I love him. Ben, you'd better fucking be back this time, otherwise... Um... ARGLE BARGLE FARGLE!

Ryan vs Holiday
Did i miss something? The pre-match banter doesn't make any sense to me. I am sleep deprived though, so there is that. Anyhow, can I just say that this is my favorite version of Dan Ryan? This is the Dan Ryan I recruited to DEF all those years ago, and now I hope to see him just crush muh-fuckees from here on out. Also, LOLROCKYFOUR!

Pain is Coming to DEFIANCE
What's that, a second former World Champion of notability debuting at AoD? Shit, it's like we're the fuckin' cool kids or something! I will say this, to say that DEF is "in need of chaos" is also to say "you haven't done your homework yet." I'm looking forward to DEF's first true monster, though, can't wait to see how it pans out!

Box vs Griffith
Brutal. Just, fuckin... brutal. I love these two characters, they both are in character (and out) the epitome of what I've ever wanted out of DEF. Great match with tons of heat and a great build. You guys get it, and my wiener is a little tingly for you. BUT THAT'S NOT IT! dathanshake.png! AND LOOK WHO'S BACK, ANGEL! ALECKZS! T34M HAWS! Sheezy, and they put an exclamation point on it!! Somebody gon' DIE about all of this!

No More Freebies
Slight inconsistency here with Lance waiting for HOSS at Gorilla, while in the seg before they went around the stage and left that way, but let's pretend it all connects and not point it out in feedback, kay? As for the content itself, these guys just ooze heel heat. God, it's good to have Seth back in the fold.

Eugene (c) vs Troy
Special Ref: Dan Ryan
A great, main event worthy match. The ending was schmozz, which I usually don't like for a PPV, but this has the feeling of nowhere near over and it gives Eug a fair amount of heat. The three personalities/egos at play here all showed strong, this was a fucking match and a half. Thanks guys, this is why I opened DEF. So anyhow, I like this DGAF version of Dan Ryan, and I bet it sparks some attitude out of LT as well. And Eugene? Fuuuuuuuu- that boy is signing checks with his mouth that his ass may no longer be big enough to cash! Great end to the show guys, can't say enough good things about this!



What did we do right?
Damn near everything. What I really enjoyed was how much of a Big Deal this show felt like. Even saying that it still only took me about two and a half hours to read (with a few breaks for headaches and sleep). I liked it from top to bottom except the couple of things I pointed out above.

What did we do wrong?
There were an awful lot of surprise debuts/returns tonight. Luckily they all fit, and now DEF is a very, very interesting place to be.

Match of the Night?
Much as I enjoyed the Tai-Pei Deathmatch, I'm gonna give it to the Main Event for being the epitome of what a Main Event should be. Kudos to everyone involved here!

Segment of the Night?
Man, everything was so good... Gun to my head I'll take the Andy Sharp/Thomas Keeling mashup.

Top Face of the Night?
Damn, Sharp for getting a win? Frank for getting a win? Dusty and Harmony and LT ate big time losses tonight... Yeah, I'm going Andy Sharp, FotN.

Top Heel of the Night?
Thomas Keeling? Angel Trinidad? Eugene Dewey? Eh, I'mma take Dan Ryan for crippling Frank Holiday and then DQing his own Sis-n-Law in the Main Event.

On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?
Goddamn fuckin' everyone?

Favorite Quotes?
Dan Ryan: [with an evil smirk.]
If he dies…… he dies.

Mark-Out Moments?
I marked three separate times for the end of Box/Dusty and the ensuing shenanigans. Top Notch!

How was the overall reading experience?
There was a spot or two where Angus seemed a little "off," and Evan's hyper-realism with our backstage people can be jarring (only because in six years they should be more fleshed out by now), but otherwise everything flowed from one thing to the next. Very minor issues which I've addressed above, I give this show a solid 85/100 rating!

Seth
10-20-15, 08:50 PM
Gonna go blow by blow for this show because everything deserves to be touched on"

--FDJ vs. Nicky Corozzo. So I'm pretty sure Nicky Corozzo is as close to legally dead as one man could be in the opener. But yeah, kudos to the way this started off the show with a bang. Great stuff here, Evan.

--Rundown. Good shit here, too. I skimmed the show earlier before doing the feedback, but everything is flowing seamlessly in this show.

--Donovan/Horry. I also approve of fireballs and haven't seen anybody do anything like that in a long time. Great dick points there by Donovan, but I'd definitely like to see more in the way of segs/RPs from him as well. The feud has good bones to it, but definitely want to see more fleshing out on Jake Donovan's side and a more blood thirsty Horry now that this shitbag put his hands on his wife.

--Mutual Respect. Great segment between some of the ladies of DEF. Troy always works for me in the vet role for others to play off of and more stuff like this will continue to raise the already rising stock of Harmony, who is a becoming fun to read for me.

--Sharp/Bigsby. Sharp came in and refused to put over the young'un Bigsby because he's an insecure fuckwad that buries the young talent. Next.

--Mushi/Harmony. Holy crap, best match of the night up to this point. This feud has done great things for both, with Harmony looking like a fantastic underdog and Mushigihara being a murder machine. The right character went over here, but this feud made both Mushi and Harmoney look better than they did coming in. Totally dug the ending, too and I'm intrigued by where both go from here... which better be up, damn it!

--Sharp/Warner/Keeling interviews. Sharp brags about how he's gonna bury the roster with his shovel while Thomas Keeling acts like a cocktease. That's about par for their course. Moving on.

--Penn/Booya vs. Jiles/Walker. Holy fuck, Angus was probably close to jizzing underneath the table... then went limp by the end. Penn is such a glorious dick and Jonny Booya as his heavy rocks. Knowing where we go from here, I'm looking forward to the next installment of "Penn acts like an asshole and you all have to deal with it."

--Crash Landing. HOLY SHIT, YES, HENRY KEYES. The Ill-Ass Lemony Snicket has returned! (Go look up Key and Peele Steampunk video. You'll thank me later).

--Dan Ryan/Frank Holiday. Ryan goes over here for obvious reasons, but the match was solid. Ryan's a scary motherfucker in that he's so much more than just a "big man" type wrestler. I love how his attitude here could play into tonight's later events when he officiates the FIST of DEFIANCE match.

-Pain is Coming to DEFIANCE. YES YES YES YES YES, OMEGA. Take it from me, if you don't like the looks of this character now, you will soon enough. That's another big get for DEFIANCE in a night full of returns and new appearances so far.

--Bronson Box/Dusty Griffith. I fucking loved the "big fight" feel this one had right off the bat. The pacing was great and the story of who was going to blink first was so fucking well done here, if I hadn't have already known the ending (partly for my own involvement) I wouldn't have been able to guess who would take this one. Seriously, match of the fucking night up to this point (sorry, Mushi/Harmony) and we still have the main to go. Box gets a MASSIVE victory here tonight in this battle of the former champions and I loved how the ending was done to make it that fucking close. I'm glad people liked the re-intro of Team HOSS and can't wait to get Angel/HOSS and company rolling again. Hopefully, none of you will be disappointed.

--FIST of DEFIANCE: Eugene Dewey vs. Lindsay Troy. Holy shit, never in my wildest dreams (long ago) did I think I'd see heel Eugene Dewey, but heel Eugene Dewey being fucking AWESOME. Everything about him fucking with Dan Ryan and Lindsay Troy has been nothing short of awesome. This was another great fucking match with Dewey being his best to be a cunt, Troy trying to wrestle the title away from him and Dan Ryan forced to play nice. The scmhozz ending, as a general rule, don't like on a PPV but here it made total sense given the circumstances and this clearly isn't over... and one HAS to think with Box's huge win, he's waiting in the wings. The top of the card is fucking stacked with the combination of Troy/Ryan/Box/Eugene.

In short, a fantastic show from start to finish and everybody involved should be happy with it. I fucking loved it and even if it was longer than the TV show outings (for obvious reasons) it was still a breeze to get through all of it.

Jonathan Todd
10-21-15, 08:08 PM
What did we do right?
We got this shit done on time! We helped people out when they needed it most, big props to DAN for pitching in and writing the Tag Team Match for me!

What did we do wrong?
Had a baby during the last week of this arc…NO really. The only thing I can say that fouled up everything is people disappearing a month out from the end of this arc.,GEORGE! And having to find a new direction to head with Penn. If it were not for people like Dan and James for pitching in and helping out the match would not have happened.

Segment of the Night?
Just Look Up… Slightly to the Left. This is exactly what the So Her needs for the prestige, guys coming in and calling out the champ. For so long it seemed like if you weren’t in discussions on AIM of Skype you thought of yourself outside of any angle for a title. A little bit goes a long way in getting noticed. Simply one or two lines about Penn just highlighted Sharp.


Mark-Out Moments?
The subtle lacing of the shoes Penn did to Ty Walker.

How was the overall reading experience?
Pretty good read for the PPV. It didn’t take long to look over and then read. Flowed pretty smooth for me.

General Comments:
I’m looking forward to interacting with all of the new handlers and the ones who have returned. Also I’m looking forward to working with everyone this coming arc. We have a lot of work to do, so let’s get on it.

Ulfric
10-21-15, 08:23 PM
Loved the opening match, been awhile since I read one really, I remember writing one back in BWA over a decade back, great extreme way of letting two guys settle an issue and giving the fans/readers a rare thrill. Great to see it drug out of mothballs, and holy shit the brutatilty, staple to the tongue, fuck yeah, thumbtacks, bring them on, gushing blood, glass covered fist to the nuts, yeah, loved this one!

The Rundown was quick, easy to read and functional, did its job well.

I thought Sam captured everything we’d talked about well, though I struggled with the flow of the match only because it seemed like the tenses were shifting even within the same sentence, all through the match, it just made the continuity a bit hard to follow but damn, he made the fireball spot come out brilliantly and got us set up nicely for the next leg of the ARC.

Nice bit of interaction there between Harmony and Troy, I think these two can really complement each others style, it will be interesting to see the interact more on further cards, the mutural respect is clearly there as is a seemingly genuine fondness for one another. Looking forward to more.

Andy Sharp vs Felton Bigsby
Like the idea of bringing in the BRAZEN guy just like the E has been doing with next, match was solid, didn’t go too long and got the fans behind Sharp. It was easy to get a clear view of his style, and love how Angus continues his hatred of the flippy-dos with Sharp now that Donovan is doing less flipping and more fireballs.

Did you hear something was an interesting teaser.

I’ve been looking forward to Mushi/Harmony and this match did not disappoint. Both were able to show off their differening styles, have moments where they could shine while putting together a match that flowed very well and made sense with the size differences between them. Harmony has to employ the hit and run style and Mushi has to catch her and that right there tells a story. Loved that moment of respect at the end, long as it doesn’t happen to often with Mushi, its great for that one time thing.

Andy’s promo got his future intentions across, so it did his job, and elder Keeling showing up certainly has the potential to get interesting. Both are clear things to keep an eye on and see how they develop.

As for the tag match, all four guys are always interesting to read and with this match, I felt like there was some good back and forth, getting everyone involved which can sometimes get lost in a tag match. Great moment with everyone outside facing a countout, of course Ty had to come flying out too, he couldn’t let Cancer have all the fun. Good match all around, I really enjoyed that one.

The airship part was….interesting, Zane’s intro to it went a little long for my tastes, the personality of the character just didn’t appeal to me, I don’t know something seemed off about her. Keyes is interesting that’s for sure.

Dan Ryan vs Frank Holiday, what more can be said for that Drago moment than “if he dies, he dies” seriously, that right there made the whole match for me. Ryan really shinned in that match, his attitude and focus came across totally, and it will be interesting to see whats in the works for him.

Omega…umm…I’ll wait and see on this one.

Dusty Griffith vs Bronson Box…wow, just I’m gonna put a big holy shit fucking amazing here and call it a day, ‘cause dayum, just dayum.

Awesome main event and the thing I have loved and always love about DEF is the way that things build, seeing Dan Ryan with the FIST especially after seeing his behavior, attitude earlier on card, yeah that was an awesome moment, filled with tension, loved the tension. Go DEF.

Evan H.
10-21-15, 09:44 PM
Thanks for the feedback, guys! Gold stars all around!

:)

Justin
10-21-15, 11:27 PM
Thanks for the feedback, guys! Gold stars all around!

:)

I tend to agree. Fourteen roster members have viewed this thread, five have given feedback.

Nobody but Evan has done any news.

It's great to know how excited everyone is about the PPV we just put out.

Chance
10-22-15, 03:10 AM
What did we do right?

The show flowed so well. It was balanced perfect. I read so much character development and actually got to be apart of that with the tag match. So much was done during this show for so many characters I dunno where to start. It started with a bang and finished strong as fuck.


What did we do wrong?

Maybe a minor issue here and there but just one I really noticed. One particular wrestler may have been not been able to pull off this particular move with the size difference but even that was minor.


Match of the Night?

The main event was boss and the story told was beautiful. Dan Ryan at the end was making me jealous because he's such a great heel, the match had everything. I was emotionally invested during the entire match. That is how it is done.


The Segment of the Night?

I wanna say Mutual Respect simply because it was such a big deal for Harmony's character. The rub was a big deal and it felt that way reading it. I liked the debut segments with both Keyes and Omega. Sharp was all over the show and I liked his stuff too.


Top Face of the Night?

Sharp got over with me. He was on the card and character built as the night went on. I thought Harmony did a great job too but the loss prevents another tie between these two lol.



Top Heel of the Night?

It's Dan Ryan. He jumps off the screen at you. The way he conveys his message along with the mannerisms should inspire the lot of you heels. It sure does me. He is fucking scary good.


On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?

Harmony looked strong on this card. The rub from Troy and match she had raised her stock. Sharp is also another that is about to break out. Both really looked strong throughout the card and are about to explode. So it's a tie between those two for me. I can do that, right? Sure I can, I'm the one writing this.

**Booya broke out in this card too. I wrote the match but I think he proved himself to Penn in the tag match.

Favorite Quotes?

Lindsay Troy:
Keep the dream alive, kid.

Ryan:
NOW WE GO TO SCHOOL!!

Dan Ryan: [with an evil smirk.]
If he dies…… he dies.


Mark-Out Moments?

I marked out big time when Ryan came out at the end of the Main Event.

I marked out throughout the Box/Dusty match

[Griffith fires back again, bashing Bronson’s skull with his own as the two work their way to their feet, smashing each other over and with headbutts. Each shot earns a cheer from the rabid DEFIANT Faithful. Getting to their feet, they continue trading shots, each one taking a toll until finally both lunge forward and connect at the same time, causing them both to stagger back. Shaking their heads as they wince, they look at each other and lunge forward again.]
^^ Mark.

[Again, as soon as Eugene’s free he rolls to the outside in an attempt to keep Troy away from him. He leans against the edge of the ring trying to catch his breath, but that only leaves him open to a baseball slide. Eugene spots her coming though and instinctively pulls the apron up, catching her in it like a net. She falls down between the ring and the apron and is wide open for Dewey to unleash a barrage of rights, lefts, elbows, headbutts, and pretty much anything he can do to put a stop to the challenger’s onslaught.]
^^^Mark.

I also marked out at the super kick CCJ did but I wrote it so it does not count here lol.


How was the overall reading experience?

Like I said before, the show flowed so well. The segments were all well balanced and none went too long or looked like they did not belong. I think you all should be proud because this is one hell of a show. Pats on the backs all around and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Harmony
10-22-15, 11:19 AM
I have finally finished reading haha.

Great show all round guys. Wasn't expecting the ending to the ME that we got and I have to say, I really enjoyed Box vs. Dusty too.

Thank you for the kind words and Rob, it's been fun!

DBrunkGXW
10-22-15, 05:24 PM
Not a whole lot of time to sit and do a segment by segment, so I apologize for that. But I want to make sure I get some feedback down.

BRAZEN stuff is being used well. I continue to really like that.

Happy to see some new faces and the return of some old ones. Nice to see Omega. Hopefully he fits in alright.

Damien is a machine with writing. He did the entire main event almost before Lindsay and I could get to him to help out. He's the MVP for that, at least from the perspective of what I was involved in.

Like the LT/Harmony interaction. Keeping an eye on what becomes of that.

I've started to look for Curtis Penn stuff. I was late to the party on really getting it with that character. Sometimes in the past I've thought some of it was a little too silly for me to suspend my disbelief, but when it's reined in a bit, it's outstanding.

I knew a lot of the booking for the top half of the card, so it's hard to react to. Dusty/Box (heh, dusty box) was great as expected.

I wrote Ryan v. Holiday. Ken leaving on me with the arc already play didn't make it easy to play this story out, but I wanted to give the character some due rather than crush him completely. Hopefully it came off well. It's been many years since I've had to write matches on a consistent basis, so I'm working some muscles I haven't used in a long time.

Subtle characterization with Dan Ryan is what I like to do the most. I want the character to seem like a real dude, and not just a dude playing a part. I'm glad people are liking that.

Again, Damien wrote the main great. He's my MVP.

Evan H.
10-22-15, 06:39 PM
Don't EVER feel you have to apologize what format you do feedback in. So long as you post some thoughts, you're golden.

The H.N.I.C.
10-22-15, 11:01 PM
What did we do right?
This was a tight ppv. I echo everybody's sentiment in that this felt like a big show. I think a lot of this is because of the fact that the tv shows are summarized while the ppv is play-by-play.

What did we do wrong?
Nothing i can think of. I think that guy who wrote the Donovan/Horry match kept messing up the tenses of the match, the bastid.

Match of the Night?
Box vs. Dusty. Felt like a passing of the torch. To me, it felt like this match stamped Bronson Box as Legend Emeritus in DEFIANCE, like this match unveiled his face on DEFIANCE' Mount Rushmore.

Segment of the Night?
Harmony being anointed a superstar. The win with Mushi respecting Harmy (oops, hope I didn't give anything away there, Traceycakes, lol) and Harmony's backstage with the Queen, showed she's a player.

Top Face of the Night?
Well one could argue Sam was DEFinitely the hottest face of the night....lol. Seriously, Andy Sharp/Lindsay Troy. Andy comes off as this new sensation that again, if you touch him....you're a dick. Lindsay because the chase for the FIST championship has her coming off like Sting chasing Flair.....

Top Heel of the Night?
....which of course makes Eugene Dewey the heel of the night. I can just see his promo on next DEFtv rubbing it in that even with all the cards stacked against him, he came out with the championship. Treating that DQ like he squash pinned LT.

Though, Jake Donovan too, and not just cause I wrote the match either. He burned somebody and pie faced his wife (well, ex-wife, but they're working on it)


On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?
Andy Sharp, and this Omega looks interesting, everybody has really good things to say and seems legit excited.

Favorite Quotes?
Rocky 4. "If he dies...he dies."

Mark-Out Moments?
Tai Pei Deathmatch was written BEAUTIFULLY. Dan Ryan DQ'ing LT. Box, winning.

How was the overall reading experience?
EXCELLENT. I'm glad to have read it and contributed to it. MAKE MINE DEFIANCE!!!!!

brusch
10-23-15, 12:04 AM
Glad to be back around, y'all. I'll do my best to not have 100 things change in my life in the near future like it did the past few months :)

What did we do right?
Most everything. There weren't a lot of wasted moments - the things that needed to be super short stayed super short, which allowed the bigger more high-impact storyline moments to have their time to shine without the whole thing feeling over-saturated.


What did we do wrong?
OK, yeah, tenses on occasion. The fact that the biggest beef on the card is "minor grammar errors" is a testament to how good things are.


Match of the Night?
Box/Griffith, for me. And not just because of the Skymont namedrop. It's a clinic on writing a hard-hitting big-match-feel raw fight. Loved most of the post-match stuff with the returns and the beatdown - though would've loved to see some more reaction from Boxer in the post-match after that Handshake Means Respect moment. Maybe more followup will happen early in the next arc.

Segment of the Night?
Mutual Respect. Because dammit, Wrestling Friendship is such an important cog in the wheel and sometimes you need those heartfelt moments of "you got this, kid" instead of "I'M COMIN FOR YOU NEXT, BROTHER" (sister?).

Top Face of the Night?
She gave some rub to an up and comer early in the night and got "screwed" out of the FIST for being too fired up at heel bullshittery. That's some damn fine face work from Lindsay Troy.

Top Heel of the Night?
Dan Ryan Drago'd Holiday early in the night, but on top of that, he's just such a three-dimensional character with complex motivations beyond just being the biggest son of a bitch in all of DEF. He's got a human side that you just get glimpses of here and there, and then he goes into total self-serving mode. See: regrets over DQing Troy, then splatting Dewey after the match and thrusting himself in the title picture, possibly at the expense of his sister-in-law (at least that's how I read it - I may be reading too far into it). Too good.

On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?
There's not a bad fucking writer on the roster so at this point it's a matter of who's able to put forth the most interesting and compelling storylines over the next arc or two. Anyone who has not "broken out" on this roster is certainly capable of doing so, and fast. I'm not going to select one person.


How was the overall reading experience?
Good. I want to continue to emphasize how much I appreciate that cards of this length are being reserved solely for PPVs and that it's not 110+ page shows every single time. Bring out the fireworks factory in THESE moments, and the impact will be felt more.

SenorJames
10-23-15, 12:36 AM
Don't EVER feel you have to apologize what format you do feedback in. So long as you post some thoughts, you're golden.

+1... As I've said in private, in chat and on the air on Tuesday, I do not care how you feedback, how much content you put into feedback, just show me proof of life in regards to your having actually read the show.

Hell, I don't even need a strict review of the show. I would be tickled, POSITIVELY TICKLED, with open discussion of what happens on our shows, people giving opinions and spinning ideas about where people could go with things. Basically becoming a giant think tank of wrestlenerddom, because ideas can be spun up and saved for future reference.

That said, as long as people are engaged and actively participating in the process of being a DEFIANT HANDLER, I'm all good with however you choose to feed this gorram back.



Also, I venture to get my own done tomorrow and maybe participate on Tom & Lindz' show tomorrow night if they want me on.

Evan H.
10-23-15, 11:13 AM
Me when I click my DEF bookmark and see new kickass news and character development posts...

http://i.imgur.com/uYl4o9a.gif





... There's nipple pinching involved.

Starstruck
10-23-15, 01:41 PM
I'll do feedback tonight. It's hard to do at work and 2 little ones in sports most nights.

Evan H.
10-23-15, 02:50 PM
It's good my friend. We (the brain trust of me Justin and James) get super antsy about feedback as it's always been a part of our game we've, as a fed, always sort of sucked at getting done. No worries, real life is real life sir.

SenorJames
10-23-15, 08:32 PM
TAI PEI DEATHMATCH - FDJ v NICKY COROZZO
Chaotic clusterfucks are Evan's own personal hog heaven, which made this a super fun read to start the show (IMO). Just brutal stuff here, and the staple gun to the fucking tongue, jayzuss.

THE RUNDOWN
Me.

SAM HORRY v JAKE DONOVAN
Solid effort, the switching between present and past was a little odd in a nitpicky sort of way. Just keep in mind that we want everything in present tense for future reference. Still, this was a solid fight with an ending that keeps the book open for another arc, so I look forward to what you guys do for a follow up, which is what's most important. Now neither of you have to bother with trying introduce your characters to each other, you can get right into it at full speed.

MUTUAL RESPECT
I like these segments, it's putting two people together who aren't directly involved with in anything inside of the ring. I want to see more of these from everyone, if necessary, you don't have to pre-plan them along with your actual booking and submit requests for segments on the fly... ANYWAY, as far as this segment, yeah I don't want to see too much harping about "we're women and we're gonna show the men..." It's tired and not necessary after the first couplafew times it's brought up. The rest of the segment though was a nice little interlude that said what it needed to said and continues to build a connection between these two.

ANDY SHARP v FELTON BIGSBY
One nitpicky thing right from the jump, Andy Sharp should have made his entrance after Bigsby's, but that's not a big deal. Reading this and thinking, Andy vs Jake could be a nifty good vs evil flippydoofest. I really like the pacing of this match, back and forth with the right amount of control for each guy, like where Sharp gets the long run of spotlight on offense to show himself off before giving the heat back to Bigsby. Good stuff all around from Sethrow here, I've said it a billion times already, so good to have ya back, bud!

DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING
Filler with a purpose!



SIDETRACK COMMENTS ABOUT PPV MATCH WRITING THINGIES:Okay I just want to point something out for future reference, also the fact that I will be highlighting this in one of the many resource docs that I am working on. For PPV entrances, I want the inclusion of a "music line" (with html coding for example purposes)...

<center><i># "Mach 13 Elephant Explosion" by Masafumi Takada #</i></center>

Basically, instead of using lyrics, use the above line (with the musical characters instead of the hashtags) for your PPV ring entrances right where you envision the music starting to play as your character enters the arena. It's just a small detail that I would like for everyone to use going forward (more of this uniformity that I want). You might have noticed I went into some of your matches and added this line, if not, go back and look or look at my Dusty Griffith entrance, or how Lindz wrote for Troy, Dames did for Euge. For the record, I'm not at all trying to micromanage how you write your PPV entrance, do what you will, just remember this tiny detail.

Oh and also, I'm going to be developing a uniform way for how Quimbey does the introductions, but only in the order that he says things. For instance, the way Rob did it here for Mushi is spot on.

Darren “DQ” Quimbey:
Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Eddie Dante, he hails from Mito, Ibaraki Prefecture, Japan, and weighs in at three-hundred seventeen pounds, he is “THE GOD-BEAST!” MU! SHI! GI! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Hails from LOCATION, weighs in at SPELLED OUT WEIGHT, he is YOUR WRESTLERS NAME HERE!

Anyway, these two items and a couplafew other things will be addressed in one of the upcoming DEFINFO docs that I am working on, including the use of buffer / transitionary material at the front and back end of your matches, and deciding how we as a group do pinfall counts (because it's kind of all over the map right now).

BACK TO THE SHOW!


MUSHIGIHARA vs HARMONY
DAAAG Mushi not fucking around to start here... I don't know why you insist on saying you suck at match writing, Tracey, this is good work. Match writing is all about common sense and understanding good pacing for the match you want to write based on the characters involved... DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE, DAT SPOT WHERE MUSHI UNMASKS AS A CALL BACK TO THE FIRST MATCH, YAAAASSSSS!... The post was also really well done with the commentators freaking out Mushi was gonna attack again, then he doesn't and their surprise when he bows in respect, good good stuff.

* Mushi's bow and Dusty's handshake later in the show has me thinking of stuff RAWB!

JUST LOOK UP AND SLIGHTLY TO THE LEFT
Wait a minute, Seth can babyface too? WAT?! Love every note played in this from the beginning bit of having something to prove, the bit about wagging a judgemental finger at torrenters, the lining Sharp up for the SOHER scene, good stuff, BUT WAIT THERES MOAR?! Nifty setup with Old Man Keeling's appearance given what we know happens later on.

CURTIS PENN & JONNY BOOYA v CANCER JILES & TYRONE WALKER
YAAAAAAAY Dan with the big pinch hitting effort to help a fellow handler out in a tough spot, BOOOOOOOOOO George for going and pulling a Houdini on us again with Jiles, oh well... One noticeable error here, the announcers are no longer at ringside, Keebs and Angus are in a booth/stage WCW Nitro style, but it's forgiveable considering you haven't been in DEF for a good while, live and learn and whatnot... That aside, this was a fun little tag match that closes this chapter nicely, both sides got some shine and it helps setup what's to come going forward. So again, big ups to you Dan for stepping in and helping out, all of the brownie points are yours.

CRASH LANDING aka YAY, BEN IS BACK! 8)
HENRY KEY-EZ REEEEEETURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNS! Seriously, I got nothing else to say about this, I just want MOAR BCUZ MOAR HANRAY KEY-EZ!

DAN RYAN v FRANK HOLIDAY
Look, I'm not gonna lie, I wish Ken hadn't flaked on us, because I would have loved, ABSOLUTELY LOVED, to have seen what the minds of Brunk AND Ken could have come up with together for this. I don't even mean this match, I mean for the whole arc that would have lead into this match, so much in the way of missed opportunity here... ANYWAY, as for this match, once again, I find myself wondering why Brunk hates writing matches, because this is good. It's got a more old school pace and feel, rather than the usual balls to the wall style I usually go for when writing (haha), which is a nice switcharoo to be honest, especially in contrast to the match I wrote which followed this. And that Rocky IV reference is so friggin win, dude, hahaha. I wish I didn't know everything that's going on, because ZOMG the speculation. I definitely hope there is follow up in the form of blow back on the next DEFtv to cover what went down in this match, not repercussions, but more like reaction to what happened.

PAIN IS COMING TO DEFIANCE
You guys have no idea right now, I'm seeing so much potential here with this guy because of pure dimensions that this character fills that DEFIANCE hasn't had as a main character since I've been around (ex: Nicky Corozzo is a backup player, Big Vinny was too, FDJ is all over the place). Super duper monster sized heel character, and I'm not even thinking about how the actual character itself plays yet, based on what Ed and I discussed, he's basically an enormous schizophrenic which can twist and turn this character in a number of ways. ALSO, I wanna give Ed some big ups for stepping in to take a spot on the show when I was full on derping to fill this spot on the show with something.

DUSTY GRIFFITH v BRONSON BOX
Me, for the most part. Thanks for all the kind words, folks, it was fun to write... HAH! Nice work, Seth, I knew I didn't need to pre-check your half of the post match before publishing the show, you're always aces, bud 8)

NO MORE FREEBIES
Big ups to Seth for jumping in to do one more last minute spot filler for the show.

MAIN EVENT / FIST OF DEFIANCE: EUGENE DEWEY (c) v LINDSAY TROY
Every time I read a match with LT in it, I gotta listen to Trampled Under Foot, so much swag... Not sure where I'm at in this match, wherever Euge breaks the count after LT gets tangled in the ring apron, so far so so very good guys. Love the opportunist heel gamesmanship after an extended run with LT in control, picking Euge apart. Dames digging deep into the bag of tricks in this section with Euge having his feet on the ropes, cheap shotting when Ryan isn't looking, good good stuff... I also really dig the constant playing up of Dan Ryan's role in the match as referee, using that stipulation that is hanging over the characters head as well... NITPICKY CRITICISM TIME: I would have liked a little more meat on the selling of the Koji Clutch instead of having it be where Euge almost instantly starts to fade from the hold. It's not a huge deal, it's more of a what I would have done situation, which means it's neither right or wrong, just personal preference. I also think Euge getting to the ropes would have been better to escape the hold, again nitpicky, because this has been phenomenal regardless... Legit, so much intrigue can be drummed up after that DQ finish from multiple directions. Yep yep yep, all of the wins that can be had is what this match is doing, great stuff.


What did we do right?
Everyone got their matches done - more or less - on time. People stepping up to help out in a pinch (Dan, Seth and Ed), all of the appreciation guys.

What did we do wrong?
Minor nitpicky things to be honest, otherwise nothing glaring.

Match of the Night?
Main Event

Segment of the Night?
Henry Keyes > Andy Sharp > Lindz/Harm in that order.

Top Face of the Night?
Andy Sharp

Top Heel of the Night?
Dan Ryan

On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?
People on the bottom figuring it out to be honest,

Favorite Quotes?
Dan Ryan going Ivan Drago, and at the risk of being a douche, I like my Angus theory about Dan Ryan being bannished to the couch if he jobbed Lindsay Troy.

Mark-Out Moments?
Mushi bowing to Harm, the constant playing up the tension in the main event, starting out slow and struggling to write Dusty/Boxer and then it becoming a blast once I got on a roll, HANRAY KEY-EZES RETURN!

How was the overall reading experience?
It was an easy enough read when I could make myself sit and focus on reading through it.

Starstruck
10-23-15, 10:29 PM
What did we do right?
I like the length and the pace of the show. It flowed very well and was very easy to read. It felt like a huge pay-per-view and that was special.

What did we do wrong?
Apart from the minor tense issues there was nothing glaring.

Match of the Night?
I think the Main Event gets the nod for me. I am new to the Dewey character but I already don’t like him and that’s good because it shows how well of a heel is. I have always been a fan of LT and Ryan seeing as they are the characters I am most familiar with on the roster besides Seth’s gaggle of characters. I like how the match ended and I believe there will be tension between the two family members which seems like Dewey was tried to induce this whole time.

Segment of the Night?
I like the Mutual Respect segment with Harmony/LT but I am going to go with Just Look Up… And Slightly to the Left. I love the Andy Sharp character and I personally have seen different iterations of him. I thought this segment really pushed Andy to the forefront by calling out the champion because he knew he was going to make a statement after his match.

Top Face of the Night?
Again I will go with Andy Sharp but I do think Harmony and LT deserve a nod as well even though they didn’t get a win. They both still looked like strong faces.

Top Heel of the Night?
I really like Dewey but I am going to have to say Dan Ryan. I mean he just mutilated Frank.

On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?
I think the whole roster is about to breakout. I am glad to be a part of such a diverse group.

Favorite Quotes?
Ryan: If he dies…… he dies.

How was the overall reading experience?
Like I said earlier the overall reading experience was good it flowed very well.

QueenOfTheRing
11-08-15, 11:10 PM
What did we do right?
Overall, this was a good PPV, and a good cap to our first full arc of short-form DEFtvs. I hope the BRAZEN shows before the PPVs continue to be a thing and I wonder at what point will everyone be in the Wrestle-Plex at the same time. [DRAMATIC CHORD]

The added realism at the end of the opener to show the DEFcrew trying to clean up the ring/ringside area before the rest of the show got underway was a nice touch. It would’ve been good to have had one extra short “buffer” segment between the Rundown and Horry vs. Donovan to sell that a bit more.

Liked Mushi/Harmony except for one specific thing (see the next section) and Sharp/Bigsby but it would’ve been nice to have seen more of a call-back to the events leading up to the latter in the match itself rather than wait until the follow-up segment.

Thank God, Henry Keyes is back.

I’m reserving judgment on Thomas Keeling, mainly because Sonny Silver >>>>>>>>> every other manager/advisor character. I’m shamelessly biased, deal with it.

Damien is awesome, the end.

What did we do wrong?
There was supposed to be a video package before the main event, but I’d been feeling some burnout after a busy month/month and a half (work, vacation, etc.) and couldn’t push myself to put something together. Hoping the burnout is past me now.

This isn’t a “wrong” thing, and I understand it’s a PPV, but having to read long-form matches again after an arc of well-written summaries was tedious. Not because they were badly written, but because they didn’t read as quickly.

Also not a “wrong” thing: We need to update the music player on the DEFIANCE website. I’m not sure how to do this since I don’t have webmaster privileges for the compiler but it should be done sooner rather than later. Toss the BRAZEN entrance themes up there too for the hell of it.

We need to be consistent in how we refer to things in and around the DEFIANCE Wrestle-Plex (see how I typed them there? That’s the correct way). I used to put these in the runsheets. We may need to start doing this again.

I’m not a fan of Harmony doing the Yoshi Tonic to Mushi. LT has this move in her moveset also and I don’t think she could hit it on him despite being five inches taller and 30 pounds heavier than Harmony.

Last thing: 95% of the people who wrote for this show and have been here at least one full arc did not follow Justin’s instructions (http://www.fwrestling.com/showthread.php?24352-DEFIANCE-formatting-guide&p=129755#post129755) to refamiliarize themselves with this: http://www.fwrestling.com/showthread.php?24352-DEFIANCE-formatting-guide. If you didn’t notice any formatting errors as you were reading the show, it’s because I went in and fixed them after it was posted (and they should have been fixed before it went live, but I digress). When things get posted to the compiler for DEFtv 57, please make sure everything lines up with how DEFstaff wants it to look.

GHOST EDIT: It’s one space after end punctuation. Not two. Or three. Or four.

Match of the Night?
Once again, Damien wrote a hell of a match in Eugene vs. LT. For the matches my character wasn’t involved in, it’s Dusty vs. Box followed by FDJ vs. Nicky.

Segment of the Night?
“Crash Landing” (to the shock of no one…)

Faces of the Night?
Andy Sharp and Harmony

Heels of the Night?
Angel Trinidad and Eugene Dewey

On the Bubble?
Andy Sharp and Harmony

Mark-Out Moment
Not a “moment” really: I know the staple gun got a lot of love in prior feedback but props to Evan for the imagery of blood and stripped-off flesh pieces too.

Also not really a “moment” but I’m looking forward to seeing what Ed will do here with Omega.

Evan H.
11-09-15, 11:31 AM
Thanks, Lindz! lol I've always been WAY stronger at writing deathmatch stuff, odd considering I don't really watch it with any regularity. Makes me want to do a trashy deathmatch indie v-fed lol.