View Full Version : Application - The Johnny Payne

01-14-15, 11:05 AM
Fill this form out and post it on the Application board.

When it's finished, the DEFIANCE roster will vote on whether to accept you. Getting accepted to the fed requires a net total of +4. So if you have one 'no', you'd need 5 'yes' to balance it out.

Handler Information

Name: Donnie House
Email Address: donwayho@gmail.com
Best Way to Contact You: (Forum PM/AIM/Facebook/Email/other) - Any will work but for quickest response - email, AIM (dblofive), or facebook (dblofive is the unique url)
eWrestling Experience: (What have you done? Where?) I've been doing this since around 1996 back in old email feds. My biggest accomplishments were long runs as the top heel in both uW/UWA, Tradition, and a deep quarterfinal run into one of the RP God multi-fed tournaments. Recently ran Redemption Wrestling (http://s13.zetaboards.com/redemptionwrestling/site/) for just over two years before closing due to the birth of a new child
How did you find DEFIANCE? was searching for an angle fed on various sites and came across it.

Writing Sample

I've got two different styles I use so I'll post a smaller sample of each -

Sample 1 -

We cut to Toby Keller standing backstage white-knuckling his microphone. He looks around absentmindedly.

Toby Keller: I’m Toby Keller and this is Dante Saffron…no, no, that’s not it. I’m Toby Keller and with me is Dante Saffron…shoot, that’s not it either. I have to get this right, Saffron scares me.

Toby clears his throat.

Toby Keller: I’m Toby Keller and standing next to me is “The Heretic” Dante Saffron….is that it…no..sheesh, I just don’t know.

“That’ll work perfectly fine” calls the rough voice of Saffron’s as he steps into the picture.

Toby Keller: Mr. Saff…err..Dante…

Dante Saffron: Pick up your jaw and speak like you have half a brain. I don’t have the time nor the patience to deal with your ineptitude tonight.

Toby Keller: Yes..yes of course. Dante, what the people all want to know is what are your intentions here in Redemption. I mean..I don’t know how to word it. You…you come off almost compassionate and endearing to the fans when you deal with Chase, but then you come off with guys like Slade and St. James….so….cold, calculating, and downright evil. The fans hate your guts.

Dante Saffron: It’s a simple, yet a complex answer at the same time. James Oliver Curwood said “In every man's heart there is a devil, but we do not know the man as bad until the devil is roused.” You see, mankind as a whole is reprehensible. Man is inherently evil and destined to destroy themselves, just as they did with the tower of Babylon. Man is self-gratifying and short sited. But then it was Pablo Casals who said "Each person has inside a basic decency and goodness. If he listens to it and acts on it, he is giving a great deal of what it is the world needs most. It is not complicated but it takes courage. It takes courage for a person to listen to his own goodness and act on it." So while man is inherently evil, there is also some kind of goodness in each of us as well.

Dante gives Toby a look, who seems to be lost in thought trying to follow what is being said.

Dante Saffron: It was Theognis of Megara who wrote in Fragment XLI “Fairly examined, truly understood, No man is wholly bad, nor wholly good.” You see, it’s quite simple. Man is both evil and good. I’m evolved enough I’ve braced both sides. When I’m with Chase she brings out my humanity and what I desire to be. I never knew love growing up, and I never knew kindness. Chase has showed me what that is and she’s inspired me to embrace that good that lies within me. Slade, however, is a different story. He represents the material obsession of the world. Slade is so consumed with own insecurities, his own needs to be in the limelight, that he responds to nothing less than the inner demons I possess.

Toby Keller: I..I’m not sure if I get it.

Dante Saffron: Simple. Chase represents the creation of love and what can be. Slade represents the destruction and what was. Somewhere along the line I had to conform myself to both in order to be complete. I’ve embraced both sides of my own humanity, something very few have ever or will ever do.

Toby Keller: I see…so one more question. What if it’s Chase in the end. What if in the end the only way for you to walk out that match is to pin Chase. Not The Bitch, but the woman who represents your good?

Dante Saffron: I do Chase a great injustice if I hand her anything. Chase is force all unto her own. If I simply lie down and don’t give her the proper respect she deserves then I do nothing to better her or push her. I do her a worse disservice; I hold her back from achieving that greatness that’s inside her. All I can do is fight for the destruction of Slade and fight to win with no regard for who steps into my way.

Toby Keller: I..thank you Mr. Saffron..you’re not as scary…

Dante scrunches his forehead and gives Toby a thousand mile scowl, one that gives the inkling that Saffron is someone to be feared and to be treated accordingly. Keller starts to step away, trembling as he does.

Sample 2 -


Wrestler(s) Information

Please take note of a couple things. It is highly likely that a few roster members will critique your moveset. Please don't be offended. We take that shit seriously here - we don't want a moveset full of finishers and a finisher so ludicrously over-elaborate that it couldn't be done in real life. This goes double if you're applying as a female wrestler. We also check to make sure your finisher(s) and theme song aren't currently being used. It's first come first serve when it comes to those.

And if you're one of those handlers who hates doing movesets, just say so and Jeff will do it for you.

Ring Name: Johnny Payne (Goes by The Johnny Payne)
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 232 lbs

Hailing From: (This is where your character is introduced as being from) St. Louis, Missouri

Alignment: (Heel or Face? You may not play a Tweener without special staff permission) Heel

Gimmick: (Describe your gimmick. If your wrestler isn't heavily gimmicked then describe his/her persona.) Johnny is the ward of wrestling great Tony Field. He was trained from a young age. Though his obsession is less with wrestling and more with fame. He's obsessed with himself and he's obsessed with the celebrity lifestyle. He's often more concerned with the "paparazzi" and twitter often times. He is known to film himself 24/7 and feed it directly on to his website for a show called "The Johnny Payne Project".

Wrestling Style: (Tell us a little bit about what your wrestler does in the ring and the general psychology behind it.) Johnny is a little bit of all arounder. He can go to the top rope, he can go to th mat, and he can mix it up with brawlers. He's efficient in all styles but a master of none. The only thing he really does lack is any kind of power game. He has a love for the DDT, just like his mentor, and does man variations and does them frequently.

Psychologically he loves to mock his opponent. He's more about trying to get under his opponent skin than he is intimidating them. He's even known to sometimes pull out his opponents signature moves when possible just to rub it in his face. He's also known to stop during a match and pose for the cameras.

Three Weaknesses:
1. He lacks a real power game when wrestling
2. His obsession with himself and his need to pose for the cameras often times leads him to lose track of his opponent and leave unnecessary openings.
3. Attacking his ego and his insecurities. He tries to mask them but they are there.

Three Strengths:
1. He is passable in most styles of wrestling
2. Johnny will do anything to get what he wants. There is no path too low.
3. He has an insanely amount of stamina stemming from his obsession with his perfection of his body.


Ten regular moveset moves:

1) one handed bulldog
2) double underhook backbreaker
3) double underhookd powerbomb
4) tilt-a-whirl backbreaker
5) missile drop kick
6) running back elbow
7) standing side kick
8) flying forearm smash
9) dragon screw
10) belly to back/belly to belly suplex

2-5 trademark moves:

1) Johnny Payne Moonsault (Springboard, top rope, or standing)
2) Johnny Payne Kick (Pelee Kick)
3) Johnny Payne Slam Full Nelson Face Slam)
4) Johnny Payne Leg Drop (Spring board leg drop from apron)
5) Many variations of the DDT

1 Finishing Move:
Johnny Payne Finsher or JPF (Jumping Cutter/RKO)
Johnny Payne Submission or JPS (Arm Bar, also uses as submission finisher)

1 "MDK" (murderdeathkill) Finishing Move (Optional)oI

01-14-15, 01:50 PM
In your bio, your character has a stated love of the DDT, but there are no DDTs in his move set. I'd also cut the second writing sample, the erotica rape scene is a bit.. much. It stands out for the wrong reasons.

I'm going to say no.

01-14-15, 02:11 PM
Agreed with Aaron about your moveset not reflecting Johnny's love of DDT variations. I'd also like to see an original RP sample showing how you would portray this character. As an added note, try to proofread your writing before you post it, take care of any spelling and grammar issues.

Vote on hold pending any updates.

01-14-15, 02:24 PM
I did all that from my phone as I was feeding a baby and didn't slot the DDT by mistake (that slot went to what was meant to be his submission finisher)

I currently have no writings by this character. He's a new character I've been slowly developing for about a few months but never written. However, if the current sample I have isn't enough I'll either write something up rather than saving it for shows or just look at other options.

01-14-15, 03:47 PM
So you're saying you put, at best, a half-hearted effort while you were distracted doing something else, into an application that was meant to impress current members enough to approve you joining the fed?

My vote is tipping toward no, but I'll be happy to look at an application that had your full attention.

01-14-15, 04:34 PM
So you're saying you put, at best, a half-hearted effort while you were distracted doing something else, into an application that was meant to impress current members enough to approve you joining the fed?

My vote is tipping toward no, but I'll be happy to look at an application that had your full attention.

This may assure I don't get in. I take criticism, but this comment did just rub the wrong way.

But here, this isn't a sample with the new character. But maybe this is more what everyone is looking for.


01-14-15, 06:12 PM
Do you write matches and on-card segments? Because that's what you're going to be writing in DEF. We don't really do off-camera storylines or c/d or whatever the kids are calling it these days. It's irrelevant.

And, can you book? Can you work with another handler to plan out a short feud that helps get both guys over? If you haven't done anything like that before, 1) does that sound like something you'd like doing, and 2) would you be willing to listen to Justin and Jeff when they try to teach you how?

As far as I'm concerned, the writing is competent, the moveset needs a little polishing but nothing major. I'm on the fence. Get back to me on those first two questions and I'll vote one way or another.

01-14-15, 06:21 PM
I ran Redemption Wrestling for two and a half years. It was an angle based federation where we had a weekly show and 10 PPV's a year (100 plus shows). In that time I wrote at least two matches a week, I booked many angles and all angles that I didn't have a hand in booking I aided in booking. So yes, I'm very experienced. I've got 20 years experience in this game and in that time roughly 15 has been spent in either angle feds or hybrid feds.

My strengths have always been in developing characters and pushing feuds/angles while my writing, I won't lie, is passable.

You can take a look at any of it here:

On card segments aren't a problem at all for me. I'm willing to write matches, but I won't lie and say that I'm stoked about it.

Evan H.
01-14-15, 06:42 PM
This may assure I don't get in. I take criticism, but this comment did just rub the wrong way.

But here, this isn't a sample with the new character. But maybe this is more what everyone is looking for.


Don't take it personally, it's just that the way DEF operates its impossible for us to just "yes" anyone that throws an application together. We've started taking this vetting process really really seriously because that's how much we love our game.

Take it from someone who's been here a while. Write something. Write anything with the character your applying with. You obviously have chops, cut a promo on DEF, on us... shit, cut one on Ken! Just show us what you're going to do with this guy. We're always looking for new writers that "get it" so again, don't take the harsh criticism to personally.

Sell us on Payne, why is he unlike any of the other "I threw this app together" characters we've seen on this forum.

01-14-15, 07:12 PM
I wrote this for no specific fed months ago when I first had the idea for Johnny Payne. There will be differences in the character as he was first spawned as this idea and what I envision now but this will give you the essence.


Time Stamp: May 21, 2014 @ 549AM Pacific Coast Time

The scene is a sunny beach in Huntington Beach, California. The brisk breeze brings in the early morning. The waves splash against the edge of the pier, sloshing against the beams reaching out of the water. As dawn settles in the early morning surfers can be seen out beyond the pier twisting their boards left and right as the ride the tube of a “hellacious” wave”. Cutting back you see a man with ash blonde hair. His hair sticks to his forehead and neck as water trickles down the side of his face. As the sun raises in the east a glimmer reflects off his toned pectorals and abs. His red and yellow psychedelic patterned shorts stick to his upper and mid thighs, soaked from the early morning waves.

“So what are we doing here this early Johnny,” asks the voice behind the camera.

Johnny runs his hands through his hair and the flips the water from his fingers as he smiles at the camera. “This is the start of something huge, Mikey.”

The camera shakes as the man behind is apparently checking something on his arm. “Dude, it’s freakin’ 5:50 in the AM and I smoked half an ounce last night, I should be in bed.”

Johnny just smiles and waves him on, telling Mikey to follow him. “Man, it’s like this. You’re like some kinda artistic genius, right? Film school, all that jazz, right?”

“That’s why I’m at UCLA,” Mikey snaps back.

“Well I’m gonna be famous. So here’s the deal. I figure since I lead an interesting life, since I’m built like, well,” Johnny waves his hands over his body, “...this. What better subject than me? With my charisma, good looks, chiseled body, athletic prowess, irresistible charm, and totally genius mind coupled with your behind the scene genius, artistic direction, and whatever it is you bring, I figure we’re a pair made in heaven.”

“So lemme guess Johnny, you want me to walk around and film you, for what? Youtube? A webshow….”

Johnny laughs. “Think bigger. Think maybe a world class documentary, or maybe my own reality show. The Johnny Payne Project, it has a nice ring to it.”

“There’s just one problem,” Mikey retorts. “What are you gonna do? I mean if people wanted to just watch someone run around and party all the time and get laid they’d watch Jersey Shore reruns.”

“So we depend on my athletic ability,” Johnny gloats.

“Surfing? Is that the plan?”

“Nah, just trust me Mikey. Trust Johnny Payne and all will become evident. In Johnny we trust...in Johnny we trust.”

Time Stamp: May 22 @ 2:47PM Pacific Coast Time

“You got it all ready Marcy,” Johnny asks as he looks over the stack of boxes. Johnny chews on the string coming out of the hood on his Quicksilver hoodie with the sleeves cut off. He pushes past the boxes and steps up behind a bronzed blonde headed girl. Her short hair is in disarray. She wears a tight UnderArmor partial top with the purple matching the vast array of braclets around her left wrist. “This is our ticket.”

Marcy taps on the laptop with her index finger as she watches the screen. “It’s almost done burning. Dude, you know this is awesome, right? If someone actually goes for this, take me with you.”

A snort is heard behind the camera. “Really Johnny, wrestling? That’s your hook for fame?”

Johnny looks at the camera and a huge grin spreads across his face.

“Wrestling is the ultimate. It’s mainstream, but it’s not. It’s an adrenaline rush, it’s hardcore competition. And I got experience. I did a little training with my sister and I wrestled in high school.”

“Dude,” Mikey snaps back. “You wrestled in like the 11th grade something like what? Ten years ago?”

The corner of Johnny’s mouth perks up even more. “Just trust me me.”

The disc spits out and Marcy pulls it from the laptop. “There we go, copy number 13, your lucky number. I’ll get these mailed off ASAP, maybe someone will bite..."

01-14-15, 08:00 PM
I'm going to go ahead and vote 'yes' based on that the writing's good enough - not everyone has to write matches like Dusty/Kai or Dane/Heidi - and that Donnie clearly wants to be here in that he's put in the work to do what we've asked on the app.

I shall provide constructive feedback/my own damn opinions that a lot of people don't even agree with on the moveset later.

But to reiterate, I'm going all Yes on this shit.

01-14-15, 08:11 PM
He's responsive to feedback, he's experienced, and I think "clearly wants to be here" helps. I'm voting yes.

Evan H.
01-14-15, 08:16 PM
Yes from me. Showing you can accept even harsh criticism and still come back with a strong post with a good attitude goes a LONG way with me personally.

01-14-15, 08:47 PM
I'm going to move my vote to yes, and also apologize for coming off so harsh before. You can take criticism, you can write, and you've got experience -- everything DEF is looking for.

01-14-15, 08:57 PM
I count four votes anyhow but the fact that you took feedback openly and have a pretty solid idea for a character gets a yes from me.

01-15-15, 04:16 PM
Well, I'm going to go ahead and close this as 'accepted' then.

Donnie, send me a PM with a username and password and I'll get your Backstage account set up.

You can also hit Staff up whenever you want, we're easy to reach and usually happy to talk about efeds. Justin and I are both always on AIM but not always "there" - he leaves his on 24/7 I turn mine on when I wake up and off when I go to bed at night. Mine is "The Awesome Jeff".