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View Full Version : Application - 'the Hammer' Harley Black



Nicwits
09-30-14, 05:36 AM
Handler Information


Name: Nicholas
Email Address: nich0las.allen@yahoo.com
Best Way to Contact You: Forum PM or e-mail.
eWrestling Experience: Currently in XXW and ACE, but I have 10+ years experience.
How did you find DEFIANCE?: The Zine


Writing Sample
[The camera opens with a slow, panoramic shot. From left to right, the camera makes its way across a lush valley filled with enormous fir trees that look as if they could be thousands of years old. Tall, emerald grass dances with the wind, making the ground seem alive. Enormous boulders that once may have belonged to mountains dot the valley, an outcropping here and there, sticking out like a sore thumb but still maintaining a confusing quality of beauty. Short breaks between groupings of trees reveal a small stream that could one day be a river. Slowly we lose sight of the valley as the streams true nature, rushing rapids take the place in frame. With water as clear as glass, the white foamy waves almost inviting. This particular rapid leads back up to an enormous waterfall that's easily one-hundred meters high. The crashing sound of water slamming in to the rocks below almost has a natural cadence, drowning out almost every other sound that nature can offer.]


???:
*inaudible*


[As we finally lose focus of the water, the camera begins its journey again, this time we come to a clearing in a smaller valley opposite the falls. Tree stumps dot the valley floor, along with a couple small rows of an unidentifiable crop. Toward the far side of the clearing a small log cabin sits in solitude, smoke pouring in to the sky from the hearth inside. Obviously hand built, the logs look as thick as tires and connected with axe eaten notches. On the porch sits a small wooden chair, and smaller, unidentified crates. Two windows on the front face work as a natural light source, but iron lanterns can still be seen hung from the awning. Suddenly, a small, dark object darts across the frame going the opposite way with tremendous speed.]


BLAM!


[The sound of ceramic exploding assaults the senses, and that is followed up by the sound of someone racking a shotgun. The camera finally comes to a stop, and we get our first glimpse of Harley Black. Dressed in a pair of black boots, dark wash and snug denim jeans, his torso is covered in a light down, black vest, a static grey hooded sweatshirt underneath with the hood drawn and hands covered in black leather gloves. In his hands he holds what looks to be a Mossberg five-hundred shotgun, equipped with a black nylon shoulder sling.]


Harley Black:
Pull.


[Another burnt orange, ceramic disk rockets in to the sky. Harley calmly pulls the shotgun to his shoulder, draws a bead on the now minature target and squeezes the trigger.]


BLAM!


[He racks the shotgun once more, expelling the empty shell from the chamber. Flipping the safety, he expertly pulls the sling about his shoulder and let's the shotgun dangle softly at his side. He removes the hood on his sweatshirt to reveal a head full of thick, black hair, parted to the right but mussed from the hood. His face is clean shaven to reveal a strong jawline and pronounced cheekbones. Removing the shooting frames from his eyes, his green eyes are flecked with black, making them stand out below his neatly arched eyebrows. As he turns from the range and begins walking, the camera turns with him and reveals two destinations, one being his house and the other a barn. Starting at the fingertips he begins to remove the black leather gloves, finger by finger.]






Harley Black:
For years everyone has been talking about the end of the world, the end of days. Armaggeddon. They say the earth will be cleansed with fire, and all of the non-believers will perish in those flames. If you happen to believe that this is an act of God, they say you will be saved. You will be carried away on the backs of angels as the heathens cries can be heard as they are burned alive. You might be surprised how many people find God when it's their life on the line, when doom is inevitable and even the thought of hope is crushing. Is that all it takes to keep from being burned alive? You say you want to be saved, be free of sin and safe from the fires, and you're saved? This is a concept I have never understood. If reciting a few words before the end absolves you of sin, I'm not sure that is a group of people I want to exist with. Willing to give up everything you've lived for, your whole identity and who you are as a person because of fear? It grips you so tightly that your own word means nothing to you anymore? That is a coward, and nothing more, and I am no coward. Since I've been old enough to call myself a man, I've lived my life by a certain moral code. I set standards for myself and aimed to surpass them, aimed to obliviate them. If some of the things I've done have left a black mark on my soul, then so be it, let the fires consume me. Because for as long as I still draw breath, I will never betray myself. Never cower nor balk at the presence of fear. Instead, I use that fear for fuel and ammunition. Let it drive me to greatness. Swallow the fear to become the predator.


[Harley Black pauses.]


Harley Black:
I don't believe Defiance has had a true predator in its midst, yet. I mean a true, apex predator. A man so focused at remaning at the top of the food chain that he will stop at nothing to achieve his goal. Defiance is full of sheep who bay at each other, ocasionally butting heads in a show of force. And for such a long time, that has been okay. Defiance has been content to just butting heads. That has been the standard for such a long period of time that the ferocity that anyone once may have had is lukewarm now. It would seem that most of you would rather vomit words at each other rather than settle things like men. There was a time that most of you would've had that damn microphone shoved down your throat, twice over. Again, sheep butting heads and bleating, hoping to stand out among the other sheep that sit right beside you, looking identical to you. And just maybe among all this white, there sits a black sheep somewhere. Feared because he's different, but a black sheep is still a sheep.


[He turns and begins walking again. Taking the path toward his barn, he begins speaking again, not looking at the camera.]


Harley Black:
And this is where I differ from all of you. It isn't about wether I'm good or evil, if I'm going to heaven or hell. The chance to betray myself will never even be presented, my morals will never have to come in to question and I'll never have to worry about burning alive. Because I am the fire. I am that destructive force set upon you by an angry God, destroying anything brave enough to cross my path. I am now what you should be concerned with, Defiance. Be worried because I am that apex predator at the top of the food chain. I am a shark, swimming in a veritable pool of blood. I am the lion that claims territory not with roar, but with bite. I've come to wrap my jaws around your neck and break the bones, squeezing until the life has left.


[Finally reaching the enormous dirt red barn, he pulls open the giant sliding door to reveal the innards. Dead in the middle regally stands a beat to hell wrestling with black ropes and turnbuckles. Covered in a patchwork mat, the apron is non-descript and aged. Harley pauses and places his hands on his hips, staring at the ring with a look of humble pride. He glances back at the camera, and then advances on the ring in a steady pace. Reaching the apron, he unzips his down vest and places it on the steel steps that sit in the corner. Also pulling off his hooded sweatshirt, a tight-fitting black t-shirt that reads 'THE HAMMER' with a graphic of Thor's hammer in gold. Tossing the sweatshirt, he rolls underneath the bottom rope and pops to his feet. He heads toward the opposite ropes and hits them with a fair amount of speed, sending him bouncing the opposite direction. He keeps this up, running the ropes, for a few moments before he slows down and takes a seat, cross-legged in the middle of the ring.]


Harley Black:
This is all I have. This is all I've ever wanted.


[He runs his palms across the mat.]


Harley Black:
I've paid my dues. I've bled, night in and night out, for over a decade. I've broken bones. This isn't just a job to me, this is my life. And now Defiance, I've come knocking at your door. You consider yourselves professional wrestlers, and I'm going to put that to the test. Your comfortable little niches you've dug out for yourselves are going to crumble, implode, and I will be the driving force behind it. Maybe you can pray for mercy, but we all know the power of words, or lack therof. I'm not going to stop until I've had my fill and you're all well acquainted with my name.


[Standing up, he sets his face in grim determination. He folds his arms across his chest, and takes a couple breaths.]


Harley Black:
Because I am the last, true professional wrestler.


[The camera slowly backs away as Harley grows smaller and smaller in the middle of the ring. Eventually we're out the doors and still pulling back, Harley's figure only a memory now. Fade to black.]




Wrestler(s) Information


Please take note of a couple things. It is highly likely that a few roster members will critique your moveset. Please don't be offended. We take that shit seriously here - we don't want a moveset full of finishers and a finisher so ludicrously over-elaborate that it couldn't be done in real life. This goes double if you're applying as a female wrestler. We also check to make sure your finisher(s) and theme song aren't currently being used. It's first come first serve when it comes to those.


And if you're one of those handlers who hates doing movesets, just say so and Jeff will do it for you.


Ring Name: 'the Hammer' Harley Black
Height: 6'0
Weight: 230lbs


Hailing From: Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina

Alignment: Heel


Gimmick: Harley Black believes wrestlers, and wrestling in general, is going soft. At 30 years old, he's usually the "old guy" with the boys in the back. He uses that to demand respect in and outside of the ring. He can be a bully, but he's only trying to show these kids how wrestling should be. None of these "hardcore" matches or fancy flipping moves and MMA kicks or holds. Basically it boils down to this: he's big, he's mean, he's strong and he's ready to put everyone through the ringer.


Wrestling Style: In the ring, Harley is incredibly technical and incredibly strong. He has a background in amateur wrestling which gives him quite a bit of knowledge of throws and suplexes, which he uses to devastating effect. He never goes to the top-turnbuckle, so he has no air offense which can limit him a little. He loves to target a specific body part throughout the match (usually knee or back) and will work it over tirelessly. He's smart, so he uses a lot of psychology to draw the ire of his opponents and throw them off their plan (leaving the ring while opponent has an offensive streak, holding 5-count moves for 6 or 7 seconds, etc.).

Three Weaknesses:
1.) Quick to anger. Even though he's incredibly smart, he has a mile-long temper. Once he boils over, it's easy for him to take it too far earning him a disqualification or even a pinfall.
2.) Lack of offense. He never goes up top, so that really limits his move library. He also doesn't use MMA kicks or holds, claiming that those moves aren't wrestling.
3.) Bad knees. Years of amateur and professional wrestling have taken a toll on his knees. He doesn't go around promoting it, but once it's targeted it's easy to tell it's his weak spot, physically.


Three Strengths:
1.) Brilliant inside and outside the ring. Using his experience from age, he's excellent with ring psychology. He seems to always know where he is, and somehow is always near the ropes during a submission.
2.) Incredibly strong for his size. Even though he's only 6'0, 230 he has the strength of a man much, much larger than him.
3.) Durable. Other than his knees, the guy seems to be made out of marble. He's able to withstand loads of punishment, making it hard to submit him and even harder to knock him out.

MOVESET


Ten regular moveset moves:


1) Burning lariat
2) Russian leg-sweep
3) Over the shoulder single-leg boston crab
4) Gorilla press slam
5) Pumphandle neckbreaker
6) Sidewinder suplex
7) Spinning spinebuster
8) Headlock driver
9) Single leg dropkick
10) Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker


2-5 trademark moves:


1) "Hammerbomb" - Vertical suplex to sit-out powerbomb/pin
2) "Hammerdriver" - Running clutched death valley driver
3) "Natural Selection" - Cobra clutch with figure four'd body
4) Irish whip to turnbuckle/pulls down right knee pad/running, jumping knee smash/diving ace crusher as opponent stumbles out of the corner
5) Irish whip to turnbuckle/leaping calf kick/tree of woe/delayed dropkick


1 Finishing Move: "Doombringer" - Cobra clutch/sleeper suplex in to the middle turnbuckle


1 "MDK" (murderdeathkill) Finishing Move: "Widowmaker" - Package piledriver

QueenOfTheRing
09-30-14, 09:04 PM
Hi! Thanks for applying to DEFIANCE.

I'm gonna toss some thoughts your way and you can either take 'em or leave 'em. Up to you.

First: I think it would behoove you to take a look at our website (http://defiancewrestling.com/) and see who we've got on our roster for characters right now. The reason I say this is because you state that Harley's used to being the "old guy" on a roster at age 30 which is fine everywhere else. Here, we've got quite a few characters who are in their 30s already; some are in their 40s. So actually, he'd be one of the youngins.

To add to that point about checking out the website, we've got a character already who uses a variant of your MDK move.

Second: I personally don't consider 6 feet, 230 pounds "big and bad." If you're accepted in, do you write Harley anywhere else that would make bumping his height and weight up an issue?

Third: For someone who has to whittle BDH's segs down a ton every show and still read comments in feedback like "this seg is too long," your writing sample has a lot of unnecessary detail which makes it too long. I can see the premise as a hype vid, sure. Introduce us to the guy and all. The emerald grass and the bubbling brook might have a place in an RP fed, but DEF"s not that anymore.

I'm also not seeing anything in the rest of the sample that makes me feel like Harley's a dude to be reckoned with. I'm not feeling the religious overtones when I know Bronson Box has done 'em better. He hasn't shown me anything to make me think he's an apex predator based on the rest of the application. He's a guy with a superiority complex and we've got plenty of those in DEF already.

He's got some Bull Dempsey from NXT in him and I'm bored by him too.

HOWEVER, I think if you really want to be here you should have an opportunity to rework your application if you want. So feel free. I'll reserve a hard yes/no vote until then.

PositivelyKen
09-30-14, 09:27 PM
The quality of the writing in the RP sample is very good. Nicely done narrative, although the monologue itself was too much of a wall of text and rambled a bit. I'm having a hard time telling whether the rant about God and Armageddon is part of the character (he's a bit of a religious zealot?), or just something to say.

Because potential is more important than what you actually wrote, I won't comment much on the content of the RP other than to say that Black's monologue, and your character bio, betray a lack of research into the current roster and recent events in DEFIANCE. At 30 years old, Black doesn't even come close to being the "old man" in the locker room in DEF. At 6'0" and 230 lbs, he tips toward the mid-to-small end of the bell curve, and whatever the bio may claim about him being "incredibly strong for his size", he would not be stronger than average relative to the active roster. Why would a character like this intimidate anyone?

The message of Black's promo is that nobody and nothing in DEFIANCE impresses him. He's the last true professional wrestler. He's the first true apex predator DEFIANCE has ever seen. Everybody else is just bleating sheep, butting heads for show. None of which is even remotely true, if you bothered to read the most recent PPV. A heel can get away with talking trash, but a relatively smallish guy who nobody has heard of, dismissing the entire roster and claiming he's the bestest everer, will never be taken seriously -- in character OR out of character.

The bio is mostly average, and the "strengths" are somewhat overblown: BRILLIANT! SUPER STRONG! CAN'T SUBMIT HIM OR KNOCK HIM OUT! Those aren't strengths, those are superpowers. We're trying to keep things grounded in reality for the most part.

Because the writing has potential, I say no to this application, but I'd look forward to seeing what else you've got.

Ulfric
09-30-14, 09:47 PM
kinda what they said, your writing while solid, was over the top descriptive which isn't a style that will work here. If you are willing to take the above advice and make some changes, the vote might go differently but right now my vote is no.

Evan H.
10-01-14, 04:28 PM
You're obviously a talented writer. In a well run RP fed that appreciates good grammar and quality writing, you'd obviously whoop all sorts of ass. DEF is all sorts of angled though, rule one with an angled fed... it's about the group, it's about the over arching story, it's about everyone. And giant walls of text say to me "me me me me me me me"... learn to pair down the wordiness a teetad. I love discriptors as much as the next guy, people that don't flesh out the scene (the room, what kind of room, what are the wearing, what is their face doing, etc) bug the shit out of me so you're aces in that department. Just learn to say more with less.

I'll give you the advice the BAWS man gave me when he started DEF and was putting the initial roster together.

"Quit being a [naughty f-word omitted]. Your old character sucks dick, apply with something new."

And I made Bronson Box. The DEF experience generally works better (usually) when you start from the bottom with something fresh. Look at Ken w/ Frank Holiday, perfect example of someone who started with something new at ground zero and is now easily one of the top babyfaces in the fed. Damien w/ Eugene is another killer example of that same principle.

Sometimes the character you've been using for ages and ages becomes a hindrance to the creative process in an angled fed.

Just my advice, take it or leave it.

Nicwits
10-01-14, 07:31 PM
Wow, I really appreciate all the feedback. I appreciate you all pointing out my flaws instead of replying with a resounding "No". Granted, this is my first shot at an angle fed, and I was pretty nervous even sending in the application. Honestly, it wasn't easy for me to write that long of a roleplay. Setting the scene with description isn't a problem and finding the right words is a snap, trying to figure out WHAT to say wasn't easy. I guess I wrote walls of text because I thought that's what you guys would want. I read through a few roleplays and they were longgggg, but I guess once you've been active for a while, you actually have something to talk about.

I really do appreciate all of the feedback. So here's my next question, would it be okay for me to apply again with a brand new character?
You have an idea of my writing abilities, if I shortened my content, would I fit in?

I'd love to be apart of Defiance, really.
But I don't want to reapply if I wouldn't fit in.
Again, thank you all so much.

brusch
10-01-14, 07:42 PM
I really do appreciate all of the feedback. So here's my next question, would it be okay for me to apply again with a brand new character?
You have an idea of my writing abilities, if I shortened my content, would I fit in?


Go for it! It's definitely a positive that you're open to constructive criticism. Like everyone's said, you've clearly got talent on your side - I'm sure that by taking the above advice to heart that you can put together a really interesting character.

SenorJames
10-01-14, 08:46 PM
The message of Black's promo is that nobody and nothing in DEFIANCE impresses him. He's the last true professional wrestler. He's the first true apex predator DEFIANCE has ever seen. Everybody else is just bleating sheep, butting heads for show. None of which is even remotely true, if you bothered to read the most recent PPV. A heel can get away with talking trash, but a relatively smallish guy who nobody has heard of, dismissing the entire roster and claiming he's the bestest everer, will never be taken seriously -- in character OR out of character.

And lets not forget... That is Dusty Griffith's gimmick! 8)

SenorJames
10-01-14, 08:57 PM
Wow, I really appreciate all the feedback. I appreciate you all pointing out my flaws instead of replying with a resounding "No". Granted, this is my first shot at an angle fed, and I was pretty nervous even sending in the application. Honestly, it wasn't easy for me to write that long of a roleplay. Setting the scene with description isn't a problem and finding the right words is a snap, trying to figure out WHAT to say wasn't easy. I guess I wrote walls of text because I thought that's what you guys would want. I read through a few roleplays and they were longgggg, but I guess once you've been active for a while, you actually have something to talk about.

I really do appreciate all of the feedback. So here's my next question, would it be okay for me to apply again with a brand new character?
You have an idea of my writing abilities, if I shortened my content, would I fit in?

I'd love to be apart of Defiance, really.
But I don't want to reapply if I wouldn't fit in.
Again, thank you all so much.

1. Welcome

2. Of course you can reapply, that's what this process is for. We'll gladly help you make your arrival a smooth one. We're a pretty nitpicky bunch, some of us more than others, but it's all meant to make sure someone fits in without having to figure out their character along the way.

3. In Reponse to the Bold Section: Almost all of those roleplays are from a year or more ago, we gave up roleplays when we switched to angled based efedding.

4. The only change I would request to your moveset is changing your finish from using the turnbuckle gimmick and it just being a Cobra Clutch Suplex. That turnbuckle nonsense is only amusing when Generico does it with a brainbuster... Also, I would drop the Cobra Clutch as a hold entirely, because there's no point. If your dude grabs the Cobra Clutch, why not just suplex him and be done with it, you know what I mean?

QueenOfTheRing
10-01-14, 09:00 PM
So here's my next question, would it be okay for me to apply again with a brand new character?

Do this like Brutus.

Evan H.
10-02-14, 10:48 AM
Absolutely apply again, the fact you accepted feedback with such a good attitude is like 90% of the application process honestly.

Take some time and put together something new, we're here to help.

SenorJames
10-02-14, 11:35 AM
There is one question that needs to be asked.

Are you adept at or at least a willing match writer?

Because that's kind of a thing here and can't be avoided.

Nicwits
10-02-14, 11:36 AM
Okay, so I've been thinking pretty hard on something new, and I'm 85% sure of what I'm going to do. Gonna keep thinking it over and putting different things together to see what fits and what doesn't.

Also, maybe I didn't search hard enough, but I couldn't find a master list of finishing moves. Some character bios don't have them listed either. Did I miss a post or something?

Thanks again gang.

Edit: posted before I saw yours, SenorJames.
I would be thrilled to be able to write matches. I'm sure you have guidelines, which would only help me. I'm a writer by nature, so any chance I can get to write and know that people will be reading it, I'm all in.
Can I be descriptive and use lots of adjectives?