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LQJT86C
12-07-09, 10:29 AM
Well, it's the holidays, and you know what that means: 'tis the season of letdown and depression, while some fat f*cking communist slides down your chimney and leaves a bunch of crappy gifts.

Whoa, hey, hi, how ya doin'.

So...the big one, yeah? It's called the NLW Open Weight Championship Title, indicative of wrestling's 'open weight' nature. After all, this ain't 14 years ago; some of the top characters in FW today are anywhere between 180-200 lbs. Is heavyweight really an appropriate term nowadays? NLW is moving beyond Heavyweight and into blah blah blah, OK, you wanna know the truth? We're doing it to be different! There, happy?

To decide NLW's inaugural Open Weight (Absolute) Champion, we'll be holding an Open Weight Grand Prix (OWGP). It'll be done in the form a 16 man tournament, separated into two brackets with the finals being held on March 27, 2010 at NLW's first PPV, EYE FOR AN EYE.

Before I get into that, let's talk bios. This is NLW, the land of the Open Weight, where big and small men alike are welcome. So, uh...I couldn't help but notice that OUR MEDIAN WEIGHT IS F*CKING 280 POUNDS! JESUS CHRIST!

Holy f*cking batsh*t, are you people NUTS?! Check out our roster...

"Dangerous" Duke Mackey 6'6 280
Zesty Mordant 6'4 283
Rory Henderson 6'2 268
"The Main Event" Matt Ford 6'6 278
"The Watertown Wrecking Ball" Vic Gravender 6'3 450
Yutaka Maeda 6'5 280
Magnus Destructo 6'7 287

Seriously? This lineup makes Dan Ryan look like Spike Dudley. I mean, the New York Giants would kill for an offensive line that looked like this. But hey, it's cool, we're good to go. I want you guys RPing characters that you give two sh*ts about, so when push comes to shove you do a little writing now and then, know what I mean? By the way, all weight jokes aside, you guys have been giving f*ckin' AWESOME characters, and I mean that. I really, really like what I'm seeing, even if it's 6'10 295 on average.

By my count, we have 7 guys weighing over 265 lbs. So with lemons, I make lemonade. OWGP, 16 men, two 8 man brackets. One of those brackets will be the King of all Monsters GP, featuring the 7 aforementioned giants plus one more- THAT'S IT! I'm serious, no more 265+ pounders after 8. We can't have all our matches looking like MechaGodzilla vs. Rodan.

Perfect, that solves that. On the other side, we have the Golden Child GP, which'll be the 8 guys who aren't of Dragonzord proportions. Thus far, that includes "Electric" Eddie Patton (5'11, 223), Eli Scheinberg (5'11, 180), and I'm assuming the bio-less Buddy Jack Windham based on his "tall and lanky" description. We've got room for five more.

Now...for those of you who didn't read any of this (i.e. 98% of you), here's a rundown of important info:

2010 NLW Open Weight Grand Prix

King of all Monsters GP
Friday, February 12th, 2010 (Friday Night Vulgar, 2 hour edition)
8 spots (1 available)

Golden Child GP
Friday, February 26th, 2010 (Friday Night Vulgar, 2 hour edition)
8 spots (5 available)

OWGP Finals
Saturday, March 27th, 2010 (EYE FOR AN EYE)
King of all Monsters vs. Golden Child to determine first ever NLW Open Weight Champion!

How it works:

Each tournament will be one big 8-man thread. Everybody RPs battle royal style, and the bracket match-ups are determined on the night of the tournament. Obviously, the placings are determined by everybody's RP in the thread. Simple enough, right?

I'll have a first quarter schedule up soon enough, but basically we're running as such. Two shows in January; everybody's RPing new guys, so these shows give you a chance to get comfortable with your characters before the tourney starts. Then the month of February will basically be dedicated to establish two bracket winners. In March, we'll have one show just to hype the PPV matchups, and then we end the month and the quarter with Eye for an Eye, where an inaugural champion shall be crowned.

Any questions, post 'em here or PM me. Adios...

Throbbin Wood
12-07-09, 03:14 PM
"The Watertown Wrecking Ball" Vic Gravender 6'3 450


I love it. That's awesome.

Evil James
12-08-09, 02:12 AM
At this rate, we'll have the first sumo division on the FW boards. :D

RStrawsma
12-09-09, 11:18 PM
Make a Superweight Championship?

LQJT86C
12-10-09, 12:17 AM
Make a Superweight Championship?

Not necessary; I'll just laugh when somebody's character dies of head trauma.

fugginVOSS
12-20-09, 10:04 PM
Holy ****ing ****. My 234 pound Johnson is gonna get squashed.

Wait... that sounds bad.

No wait. That's right. My Johnson is actually 234 pounds.

Throbbin Wood
12-21-09, 01:01 AM
You want your Johnson to get squashed by large men?

fugginVOSS
12-21-09, 10:14 PM
Depends who's buying.