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The Great Eye
06-05-09, 11:38 AM
(FADEIN: Greenie sitting at a computer, the camera pans over his shoulder to show that's his watching Britain's Got Talent.)

DEC: We're going to announce the top three acts in no particular order...The first act is...

(Long pause)

DEC: Susan Boyle!

(Susan doesn't react really)

GREENIE: Yeah whatever, that was a given...C'mon...C'mon!

ANT: The second act in the top three is...

(Pause)

ANT: Julian Smith!

(Julian closes his eyes, overcome with making the top three)

GREENIE: What the f*ck?! The sax player?! You gotta be kidding me! Gawd Dammit, now I gotta sweat this huge...F*ck...That idiot dancing kid or the moron father and son act could ruin everything...C'mon...ONE TIME...ONE F*CKING TIME!

DEC: And finally the last act in the top three is...

(Pause)

DEC: DIVERSITY!

(Diversity freak out that they are in the top three)

GREENIE: Oh thank God (Slumps over the desk he's sitting on)...F*cking brits making me sweat like that...Unreal...Thought Flawless had cut out their votes or something...Come on...COME ON...

ANT: In third place tonight is...

(Pause)

ANT: Julian Smith!

GREENIE: Yes! Go away sax playing idiot...Off with you! Oh come on...Come on...One time...ONE TIME...Beat this ugly overrated whale...Come on...

(Greenie begins banging the desk)

DEC: This is it, one of you is about to win 100,000...Good luck to both of you...The winner...Of Britain's Got Talent 2009...IS...

(Long pause)

DEC: DIVERSITY!!!

GREENIE: YESSSSS!!!!!! YESSSSS!!!!!!!!

(Greenie runs out of the room screaming...CUTTO: Greenie scampering down a hallway into a large room where Doc is currently watching TV.)

GREENIE: AWWWWW YEAH!!!!!! F*CKING DIVERSITY!!!!F*CKING NAILED IT!!!

DOC: You are the saddest creature alive to watch Britain's Got Talent, and even sadder still that you gamble on it.

GREENIE: F*CK YOU!! The Green man had that sh*t piped in! Diversity at 25 to 1 for 5,000...The Machine just scored 125,000! I'm back in the game! I'm rolling!

DOC: You're now an expert handicapper on reality TV...(shakes head)...The doctors made such a mistake not letting you die on the table after that piano fell on you.

GREENIE: Look b*tch...I can't bet your match...I got on the phone to all the off-shores and they just laughed in my face about trying to get a bet on you Vs Duke Williams...I've heard rumors the Hilton has you a -3000 or something...I can't even imagine a line like that...So you just keep on hating and I'm gonna be rolling in money...

DOC: Degenerate doesn't even begin to describe you.

GREENIE: Man I got some round robins and NFL Futures to get to work on...Back in the game...DIVERSITY UP IN THIS B*TCH!!!! YEAH!!! I'm gonna hit the blackjack tables...I'm gonna crush some more cash!

(Greenie walks over to a door and leaves the house.)

DOC: Wow...If he didn't exist, I wouldn't believe he was real...(shakes head)...And really? I'm -3000 Vs Williams? God I should bet Duke and throw that fight...

(pauses)

DOC: Nah...Hell with that...

(Doc goes back to watching TV...FADEOUT)