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View Full Version : PC Hits Rock Bottom



LQJT86C
09-08-08, 01:35 AM
(FADEIN: PROBLEM CHILD walks up the stairs of his Bronx apartment complex, kicking rats to the side as he makes his way to the final steps. In front of his door, he reaches for his keys when he suddenly drops his New York Sports Clubs Membership Consultant sales training manual. He picks it up, inserts the key, but cannot open the door.)

PC: F(BLEEP)! MOM, OPEN THE STUPID DOOR! DID YOU CHANGE THE LOCKS AGAIN? Damn it. MOM! MOOOOOOOOMMMMM! (Punches door) OPEN! Can't believe this.

(PC winds up and kicks the door open)

PC: Stop changing the locks mom, I'm NOT MOVING OUT! (Starts to hear noises as he approaches his mother's door) What the hell is that? Are you in there with someone? Mom?

(Moaning behind the door becomes very loud. PC plants his ear to the door.)

FEMALE VOICE: Ooooh yes, YESSSSS!!!!

MALE VOICE: Mmmmmm here comes Captain COCKASAURUS!

FEMALE VOICE: Oh God f(bleep) me!

MALE VOICE: Ohhhhh, you like that?

FEMALE: YES!

MALE VOICE: Say "yes Cowboy Dan."

FEMALE: Yes Cowboy Dan.

MALE VOICE: Say "choke me Cowboy Dan."

FEMALE: Choke me Cowboy Dan.

(PC makes a disgusted look on his face, backs away from the door.)

(Goes over to the couch, sits down, turns on the TV. He flips through the channels for a few seconds before stopping at a press conference featuring Troy Windham.)

PC: What in the...? TROY? TROY WINDHAM? Is that...? TROY WINDHAM WRESTLING?! HAHA! (Looks up to the ceiling) God, I'm sorry for doubting your existence...Jesus is clearly my Lord and Saviour! This is too good to be true! Troy Windham Wrestling? Oooooh man, I feel so sorry for all those other saps. Troy's my boy! We go way back! (Glances over at a photo of Troy, Bandit, and PC in front of a UWA banner, all with straps on their shoulders) Let me just give this dude a quick call here...get the Frat back together...(continues talking as he dials his cell)...maybe a World Title...maybe two...a couple of tag titles, retire, get inducted to the TWW hall of fame...sky's the limit...

OPERATOR: I'm sorry, but the number you have dialed is no longer- (CLICK).

PC: Damn! He wouldn't change his number without telling me. No, that's not the Troy Windham I know.

(CUTTO: Five minutes later, PC's on his laptop, typing an e-mail, clicking 'Send')

PC: MAILER-DAEMON? What the f(bleep) does that mean? Damn dude, you wouldn't change your e-mail and not tell me? Crapsicles.

(CUTTO: PC on the phone)

PC: Well could you just tell him that his good friend Problem Child wants to talk contract details? ... He doesn't do that? ... Well can I... ... Who? ... The Powermaster? ... Whatever, I just ... He will? ... $55? Serious? ... Ok well I'm still interested but tell him his blood brother is awaiting ... I see ... I see ... OK, well I'll be awaiting his letter. Just don't make the intern write it! Haha just kidding. But seriously ... OK ... Alright, tell him I said...hello? Hello? (Click) Damn bureaucrats. Troy can't do this thing without me, I'm his boy!

(Cowboy Dan kicks open the bedroom door with a syringe in his hand)

COWBOY DAN: Hey assclown, your mother wants to know if I'll be alright if she injects this thing into my big testicle vein?

PC: Uh...that's not where you're normally supposed to inject it?

COWBOY DAN: Shyiiiitt, no kidding? Well my other veins collapsed. Ok, well...see ya! (Slams door shut)

PC: I'm tired of living here. I miss the old days, when I used to be somebody, when I was a champion, when I was the sh*t! Troy Windham Wrestling is my way out. My Frat brother just gave me an outlet to show everybody that PC...IS...STILL...THE SH*T!

(FADEOUT)