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View Full Version : The Wrestling Chronicle's WNW Report- 1/3/07



Yori Yakamo jr
07-06-07, 10:57 AM
The Wrestling Chronicle’s WNW Report for 1/3/07
Matt Burke, reporting

Happy New Year. MBe is back from Christmas break and live in Biloxi. I have no idea where Biloxi actually is, but apparently it is HIP enough to hold this week’s WNW. Needless to say, the Southern tour hasn’t been going very well creatively or economically for MBE. Rumor has it they will be staying closer to home the next few PPV cycles, though with the arena undergoing extensive reconstruction they may be in a bit of a pinch until High Stakes. They do have a big name set to debut after Evolution, and scored a major coup signing former GXW star Jeffrey Roberts, who most thought was completely out of wrestling and living in a shantytown in Laos somewhere. That was just a rumor, though. Anyway, apparently there is a show tonight. So enough with the rumor mongering, on with the wrestling.

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Right to the wrestling this week, as we begin with the MBE in-ring debut of Jeffrey Roberts. Yes, contrary to some published reports he is not dead. Could be a huge pick-up for MBE, as his talent is undeniable even if he is a bit loopy. God knows that combo never works around these parts. Tough debut for him as he goes up against Cool Frank Cutta who has been on a nice run of form lately. If nothing else, this match should get the crowd right into things.

And no sooner are those words typed out does Roberts dive over the top rope with a corkscrew plancha onto the freestyling Cutta. Things got pretty heated between the two in the run up to this match, and it is unofficially a no rules match, as opposed to every other match in MBE where we strictly enforce the rules of grappling. Anyway, Roberts keeps his momentum, rolling CFC into the ring. He follows with a slingshot somersault legdrop. Swanky. That gets a two count. Roberts whips CFC into the corner and follows with a charge. He poises himself for a monkeyflip, but CFC tosses Roberts into the air and hits a Euro Uppercut. Nice. CFC hops up top and catches with a diving rana as he rises. Roberts takes a powder, but CFC follows with a suicide dive! Man, these guys don’t even slow down.

Cutta whips Roberts into the rampway, and delivers a double jumping knee to the chest of the insane one. He puts Roberts into a fireman’s carry and drops him throat first across the barricade before rolling Roberts back into the ring for a two count. Cutta whips Roberts into the turnbuckle and tries for the double knee again, but Roberts sidesteps and Cutta crashes into the turnbuckles. Bit of a miscalculation there. Ooh, Cutta ends up hung up on the middle rope and Roberts is going after his knee. Some short kicks and a running dropkick fail to free Cutta, but a springboard elbow across the knee knocks CFC’s leg to the mat at a sickening angle.

Roberts drags CFC to the center of the ring and works over the knee with a spinning toe hold and then drops some more elbows on the knee and scissors it for good measure. Roberts is still as tenacious a bastard as I remember. The crowd is trying to get behind the Cutta, but he is in a world of pain. Roberts hoists CFC for a shin buster, but CFC uses his good leg to land on Roberts’ knee and drives his bad knee right into the face of Roberts. CFC collapses to the mat in pain, but that was a sick looking shot Roberts took. CFC tries to capitalize, but Roberts catches his kick and ducks an enzuigiri as the Cutta lands on the mat, Roberts immediately pulls CFC into a kneebar as Till declares we will be right back.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

And back we are as Roberts has busted out the ol’ Ric Flair buttdrop across the knee of CFC. Of course he adds his own flourish. Hopping over the top and then slingshotting back in, landing on Cutta’s leg with a somersault.senton. Modfied Delfin Clutch (with the legs twisted instead of the arms) gets two. Roberts is really impressing here. Roberts goes for the figure four, but CFC counters with a small package. Only two! Roberts is less than thrilled with this turn of events and takes it out on CFC by stomping down on his face. Not so nice. He goes for the shinbreaker again, and again CFC tries his counter. This time Roberts is ready and blocks it with his forearms. He immediately delivers a short dropkick to the Cutta’s knee and WHOOOOOOO!!!! It’s figure four time!

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CFC will not tap, despite his screams of pain. He tries to roll through, but Roberts maintains his leverage on the hold. Now Roberts adds a little pull on the bottom ropes for good measure. CFC tries to point out this illegal activity to the ref in between screams, but by the time the official checks on Roberts, nothing seems amiss. Crafty, that one. This repeats a couple times until finally the ref looks over his other shoulder and catches Roberts. He administers his count, but Roberts won’t break the hold. So the ref kicks Roberts’ arms off the ropes and CFC rolls Roberts into an Indian deathlock. The crowd is screaming at that bastard Roberts to tap, but he makes the ropes and forces a break.

Roberts is up first and is stalking the wounded CFC for a superkick. CFC catches his foot. He pulls Roberts in, spinebuster! CFC is a house afire. He has taken the mount and is grounding and pounding Roberts into a fine paste, suitable for marinades or sauces. Irish whip…big back body drop! CFC is the proverbial one legged man in an ass kicking contest, and he is holding his own. He’s limping up to the top rope. This might not be the best idea…yep, Roberts catches him. He’s trying to toss CFC off the top. CFC shoves Roberts away….TOP ROPE BULLDOG! CFC is writhing in pain, can he make the cover. NO! Roberts kicks out at two. The crowd deflates a bit there. CFC is up. He’s looking for the Pain Killer. His leg can’t support the weight and Roberts backdrops out. He catches Roberts with a very nice dropkick. Dragon Suplex! No! CFC kicks out. I thought that was it there. Another Dragon Suplex….No! Cutta elbows free. He floats over and takes Roberts down! EAST SIDE STRETCH! Roberts is too close to the ropes, though. CFC isn’t breaking the hold! The ref tries to pry him off, but has to call for the bell.

WINNER: JEFFREY ROBERTS (Disqualification 19:41, 17:04 aired)

Heck of a match, not thrilled with the finish, but if it leads to a PPV rematch, I am certainly okay with that. Roberts shone, and CFC has a weird sort of charisma that really connects with the fans.

Speaking of weird charisma, it’s Yori and pals. Coming this fall to the CW, or more likely, Cinemax. Yori is going over strategy with Hida for his tag match with PbPro. Hida is less than enthused with the process. Apparently Hida’s repitoire goes beyond Yori’s usual ideas of kick them in the nuts or hit them with dildos. Yori is not sure how to handle this. It’s like his eyes have been opened to a world of wrestling he didn’t know existed. Well, he’s gonna keep doing his thing, though, cause all those suplexes and submissions sound like a lot of work. He just reminds him not to hit Andy Gilkison. Hida makes absolutely no promises in this regard. After all, he is not the idiot that tagged him with the functionally retarded Gilkison brother. Justin asks if that is the best Hida could really come up with. Off the cuff, Hida says yes. Justin intimates that Hida is slipping. Hida likes a challenge and takes a moment to mull before coming up with “made me tag with a man better suited for leading a production of Antigone performed entirely by down syndrome patients and chimpanzees than stepping foot in the ring anywhere near the Asian Wonder.” Justin gives it a 5.5. Yori is slightly more magnanimous and gives it a 7. The East German judge does the hustle. No wait, that’s ROBOYORI. For some reason he is in lederhosen. Ah, MBE.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

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Doc Silver is backstage with the Biffster. Biff wants some inside info on his plan for defending his title against the Ace of Blades. Doc says he has watched no tape of Ace Mason, has uncovered no secret strategy for defeating him, and, in fact, could probably not even pick Ace Mason out of a line-up. Greenie picked Ace out of the super top secret Doc Silver, Fighting Champion Top Hat (of doom, no doubt). All Biffy needs to know is that he is Doc Silver and Ace Mason is Ace Mason. He doesn’t actually know who Ace Mason is, mind you, but he is certainly not Doc Silver. Then he recites some Garbage lyrics. Biff wants to know his feelings on fighting Duchess at MBE Evolution. Doc is unconcerned. Biff says Duchess has two wins over Doc in the last month and a half. Doc is unimpressed. Because the big stage is where Doc makes his mark, and it is where Duchess turns into a pumpkin. Or some sort of serving wench. He never paid much attention to story time when he was a kid, because he was too busy buttering up the promoter of his elementary school’s wrestling organization and convincing them to give him a title shot. I am not making that part up.

It’s time for a tumult of tag team turmoil as PbPro representatives A and Ravage make their way down to ringside with FF in tow. FF feigns giving his raybans to a kid at ringside, then pulls them back. Well, what is a six year old gonna do with 400 dollar shades anyway? Hida comes out to a raucous ovation with Yakamocito in tow. Looks like he kept himself in playing shape while in AAA. Andy comes out next and joins Hida on the rampway at the edge of the ring. They try to discuss strategy, but that goes about as well as one might expect. They rock paper scissors to see who starts, and it’s Andy. Heh, Andy finally gets a duke over The Asian Wonder.

A and Andy exchange arm drags to start, with Andy getting the better of the exchange and working an arm bar. Till thinks this is the first time Hida and Andy have tagged. I could have sworn Hida turned on Andy during a tag team match at some point, but Andy has been turned on so much, it is hard to keep them all straight. Nice dropkick out of a criss cross by A, and he works a nerve hold on the Gilknator. Hida casually strolls into the ring and punts A off and then encourages Ravage to come and get some as well. Andy suplexes A and tags out to The Asian Wonder who springboards in and drops both boots squarely on the chest of A before hitting a standing moonsault for a two count. Hida wastes no time working over A’s ribs with a few knee strikes before locking on a ground cobra twist. That brings Ravage in and he drives his size 17 boot right into Hida’s mush. And here comes Andy, and all four men are going at it. Ravage dumps Andy and then military presses Hida out onto his partner. A tries to follow with a dive, but he gets caught by the wacky mismatched duo, and driven back first into the post. Ravage steps over the top rope and drops an axe handle off the apron onto Hida. He drops Andy with a big boot and then JAVELINS THE ASIAN WONDER INTO ABOUT THE FIFTH ROW! Yikes. Stupid crazy bump there.

FF cheapshots Andy while A jaws with the ref. Double F rolls the Gilkinator in, where A meets him with some serious stomping. A whips Andy into the ropes and delivers a sweet looking step up shining wizard. That gets two. Ravage is tagged in and drops a mammoth leg drop across Andy’s throat. That also gets two. He presses Andy over his head and does some reps before dropping him head first across the turnbuckle. Jeez, Ravage is a beast. Outside the ring, Hida tries to crawl over the barricade, but FF is there to meet him, and snaps his neck across the barricade. In the ring, Ravage nearly decapitates Andy with a running lariat, but the Gilkinator reaches down deep and gets a shoulder up. Ravage decides that it is chokeslam time, but Andy escapes and grabs a rear waistlock. He is looking for a German, but that seems somewhat unlikely. Ravage rudely judo tosses Andy over his back and looks for another leg drop, but this one finds nothing but canvas. Ravage is up first, but Andy ducks a bit boot. Gilkination DDT! Both men are down. To commercial we go!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

We come back to a crazy four way brawl. The helpful replay box catches us up. Hida leaps off the barricade and delivers a rana to FF and then dives onto the apron for the hot tag from Andy. Hida hits the Yakamo Stomp II on A and then things kind of break down as Ravage makes the save, Currently, Hida delivers a series of sick middle kicks to the Monster Ravage while Andy hits his rolling vertical suplexes on A. Andy stalks A for the GILKIMISSION, but heeeeeeeeere’s Promo! Andy catches Promo in mid stride with a no hands dive, but the Asian Wonder is left alone to fend for himself as A woozily hits a lungblower on Hida and Ravage takes his head off with a big boot. Only gets two, though.

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Out on the ramp, Andy ducks a haymaker from Promo and drops the Underground Icon with a hyoooger German Suplex on the rampway. Ouchie. Andy charges back into the fray to break up a pin following a Ravage powerslam. He dodges a spinning heel kick from A and hits Ravage with a Russian Leg Sweep. Hida is less impressed and gets in Andy’s face for leaving him alone to chase after Promo. A dropkicks Andy into Hida and the Asian Wonder falls through the ropes to the outside. A sets Andy for the A Bomb, but Andy floats over and sunset flips A for a two count. Ravage kicks Andy back down and drops a huge splash, but Hida springboards in with a Bombs Away Knee Drop to break up that pin. A drops Hida with a savate kick as an angry Promo hops up on the apron with Yakamocito. As the ref tries to escort Ravage out of the ring, Promo takes a home run swing at Gilkison’s head…oops. Andy ducks and A gets CLOCKED with the fabled cricket bat. Andy knocks Promo off the apron and as Hida rushes over to cut off Ravage, drops A with the ANDYBOMBAHHHHHH!!!!!!! And that is all she wrote.

WINNER: ANDY/HIDA (13:36, 11:25 aired Andy->A: Andybomb)

Hida and Andy’s celebration is short lived as an enraged Promo jumps them both from behind and lays out Andy with the cricket bat. Hida fights back, but gets caught with a CHOKESLAMMMMMMOOOOOOO! from the PbPro enforcer. Promo wraps Andy’s arms in the ropes and promises a preview of coming attractions. Ravage drags Hida over to the apron, and they drape his arm off the edge of the ring. CRAP! Promo just crushed Hida’s famously injured shoulder with the cricket bat. And again! Hida is screaming in agony. FF gets his turn at bat. And here comes the cavalry. Justin, Yori, The Thrillbillies and Yamada fly down to ringside as PbPro heads for higher ground. Hida’s arm looks to be seriously injured, as he cradles it uncomfortably. EMTs are on the scene, but Hida refuses to have it looked at and stalks off up the rampway, coterie in tow. Andy tries to add an apology, but Hida just shoves him away with his good arm.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

We come back as the EMTs finally look at Hida’s arm in the trainer’s room. It’s definitely broken with a severe shoulder separation to boot. The prognosis is not good, but Hida doesn’t want to hear about it. Yori and Justin promise vengeance, PbPro has gone and made it personal. Hida points out that it was always personal, now it’s just gotten bloody. FF is on the scene and he wants to check on his old friend. Yori and company are not amused. He says its too bad Hida won’t be hitting the links with him anytime soon. Justin damn near throws FF through the wall, but Freakfish says to get his dirty paws off a respected PbPro official if he likes his job. FF said always said he would retire Hida, and it looks like he finally got the job done. Yori says FF can step in the ring with him anytime if he wants to go toe to toe with a Yakamo. FF says he only wrestles people in his class and seeing as MBE currently has no one that fits that description, they are plum out of luck. He waxes briefly on the irony of Hida being taken out after all these years by his own cricket bat. Justin has had enough and says being the 5-crown champ trumps FF and punts him out of the room. FF says that’s just fine, as Mr. Evitable will be getting his soon enough.

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Back down to ringside we go as Promo gets reintroduced to a firestorm of boos. He adds the ROLL TIDE t-shirt just for sport, evidently. He grabs the mic and says he has already ended one career tonight, and he’s more than willing to try for the daily double. Jimmy Donovan made the mistake of sticking his neck into PbPro’s affairs last week, and this week, he gets it chopped off. And here comes the cowboy, steamrolling down to ringside. Promo considers his options and casually rolls under the bottom rope and orders the ref to keep that hillbilly away from him until the match has officially begun. What a douchebag. The ref reluctantly obliges and ushers Donovan to his corner, at which point Promo Pearl Harbors Donovan. Charming. He quickly posts Donovan in the far corner and goes to work on his arm. Though without the aid of a cricket bat, it’s not quite as efficient.

Promo works a Fujiwara for a while, but Donovan gets back to his feet and delivers a nice counter in the form or a pendulum backbreaker. He shakes some feeling back into his arm and drops Promo with a series of right hands. He tries to add some More Cowbell to the equation, but Promo ducks and counters with a neckbreaker. That gets two. Back to the arm with a shoulderbreaker and a keylock. You can’t keep a good hooker-loving cowboy down, though, and Donovan backs Promo into the turnbuckle to break the hold and the catches him with an atomic drop. And there’s a second one. And….the BLACK and BLUE BALLS! There may be some anal leakage in Promo’s future. He drags Promo into the center of the ring, but that only gets two. Donovan sets Promo for the Oklahoma Stampede, but Promo wriggles out and shoves the cowboy chest first into the turnbuckle. He rolls Donovan up and grabs the tights, but the cowboy is still out at two.

Promo is up first but walks right into MORE COWBELL. NO! Promo gets a shoulder up. No idea where Donovan pulled that off from. He’s got Promo up. OKLAHOMA STAMPEDE! COUNTO THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE! It’s upset city, baby, and the crowd is quite pleased.

WINNER ‘COWBOY’ JIMMY DONOVAN (7:18 Oklahoma Stampede)

Kind of a surprise there, but maybe Promo was looking ahead to Andy. Still, you can take the cowboy lightly, just because he has been a little inconsistent in MBE thus far.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Back we come to Ace Mason’s locker room. He is taping up his fists for his match with the Doc. There is a knock at the door and it is Biff with crack MBE cameraman Charlie Hustle. They ask Ace if they can get a word in about his match with the world’s champ. Ace says as soon as Fuse gets here. There is another knock at the door and Biff gets it, but three masked mans with baseball bats burst in, knocking Biff and Chaz to the ground. We do see shots of them beating the living daylights out of Ace, though. Man, this lacks Doc’s usual panache.

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Justin is working the heavy bag in the exercise room pretty damn hard. Irishred arrives on the scene and asks for a word with the True Face. Justin says they have a match coming up, and he’s gonna be doing all his talking in the ring tonight. Red wouldn’t have it any other way. He saw what happened with Hida, and while Hida may be a damn bastard, he is MBE to the core, and didn’t deserve to get taken out by a bunch of interloping cowards. Justin says they can both agree on that. Red says Justin has their belt, though, and he thinks Justin should show them what MBE is all about. Red thinks he and Justin should tangle for the belts at the PPV, put on a real five star classic for the masses. Justin thinks about it for a moment, and figures he owes Red a rematch for the belts, considering the way he lost them. Red says he shouldn’t do it because he feels sorry for him, he should do it because he wants to prove himself against on of MBE’s finest. Justin is okay with that, too. Red smiles and says he’ll see Justin in the ring, then.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Back we are, with the returning Jogi Fresh making his way to ringside. He doesn’t look that good and I wonder if he may have rushed himself back. It’s a tough spot to be in, as MBE is starting to hit its strides, and you don’t want to get left behind because of injury. His tag partner is out next and Justin Evitable looks like a MAN POSSESSED. He and Jogi tap fists, but Justin seems uninterested in anything other than the task at hand. And here come Duchess and Red. Man, I hope the DVD release has their tag title match with the Billies, what a crazy ass match. Stupid censors. Justin and Duchess start, and god knows these two don’t like each other. Duchess controls to start, working a hip toss and a body scissors. Justin powers out and flips Duchess over in a fireman’s carry. Now it’s his turn to take command, working a side headlock for all it’s worth. Off the ropes and he drops Duchess with a leg lariat. Both tag out now and it is Irishred and Jogi Fresh.

Not so scientific as Jogi and Red trade some bombs. Jogi takes Red to the mat and rides him. He gets Red’s back and goes for a choke, but Red responds with an eye gouge. Not NSAC approved, to be sure. Jogi gets dragged to the corner and stomped upon as Duchess and Red trade tags in and out. Duchess adds some blatant choking for good measure. A nice double team as Red hits Fresh with a backbreaker and keeps him across his knee as Duchess adds a top rope elbow drop. Two point nine on that one. Some miscommunication this time, though as Duchess misses a spinning heel kick and knocks into Red, instead. Fresh catches Duchess with a snap DDT and HOT TAG JUSTIN!

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The True Face drops Duchess with a clothesline and knocks Red off the apron with a triangle springboard dropkick. Tornado DDT for Duchess gets two. Close call there. VMA is blocked and Duchess grabs a schoolboy roll-up. Jogi makes the save! He sets Duchess up for the Freshness, but Red clips him and Duchess lands on top. No! Jogi kicks out! Victory roll Duchess! Justin is a second too late!

WINNER: DUCHESS/RED (8:42 Duchess-> Fresh: Victory Roll)

Duchess keeps up her run of form. Justin and Red share some words after the match. Red intimating that Justin will need to bring more than that if he wants to keep his belts. Fresh is visibly frustrated with the result, despite Justin’s attempts to calm him down.

There is a road agent outside Ace Mason’s door, knocking loudly. He tells Ace that his match is up next so he better get out to the backstage area. Ace slowly opens the door. In the background we can see that his room has been thrashed. Ace has a black eye, a whole bunch of bruises and is visibly limping. The road agent asks what happened, but Ace isn’t answering any questions, and tells the employee to point him in the direction of the ring.

Doc Silver is walking!

Ace Mason is hobbling!

Our main event is up next!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

And we are back. Ace Mason is on his way to ringside as Till and Dr. P speculate on who might have taken him out. Shockingly, Phantasmo doesn’t think it could have possibly been Silver. Right, totally out of character there. Speaking of the bastard, he is out now with Dority and Greenie at his side. I bet they totally have airtight alibis and everything. Never out of Doc’s sight, I’m sure.

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This farce of a match gets underway with Doc working over Ace’s battered and bruised ribcage with some short rights in the corner. A backbreaker and a double knee drop get an early two count as Doc plays to the less than enthused crowd. He puts Ace up in the tree of woe and adds some short kicks to the ribs before rearing back and charging in with an avalanche splash. He adds a Boston Crab, but Ace won’t tap and manages to make the ropes. Doc whips Ace into the corner, but the Ace of Blades sidesteps a shoulder block and manages a clothesline and a falling forearm shiver. Doc is out quickly at two, though.

Ace tries to finish things quickly with a fisherman’s buster, but Doc blocks it and drives some knees into the ribs as Ace sputters to the mat. Doc drops a half dozen elbows to those already tender ribs, but Ace still has enough left to kick out at two. Doc stalks Ace and hits a picture perfect superkick, before applying an STF. Ace struggles for the ropes as the crowd encourages him onward. Yes! He makes the ropes! Doc is a bit perturbed now and wants to end things quickly Ace’s Fu…NO! Ace catches Doc’s foot and pulls him in for a capture suplex. STRAIGHTJACKET SUPLEX! Doc is down. No! Only two! That resilient bastard!

Ace is looking for the Icing Gavones, but Doc makes the ropes before he can fully cinch in the hold. He waits for Doc to rise and goes for a bulldog, but Doc sloughs him off! Ace crashes to the mat. He climbs back to his feet ACE’S FULL! Ace drops like a sack of potatoes. NO! Ace kicks out at two! Doc slaps the mat in anger. He’s looking for the River, BUT ACE ESCAPES! SUNSET FLIP! 2.99! Doc barely got out of that one. OH! Doc just cheapshotted Ace in the throat. He fires off some short knees to the ribs. Ace is couching up blood. What a miserable human being Silver is. He’s got Ace up….THE RIVER! Another hard fought and honest victory for the MBE World Champ. Excuse me while I go vomit.

WINNER: DOC SILVER (7:55- The River)

Doc celebrates like he’s won the freaking lottery, even having Greenie and Dority parade him around the ring with his title. The crowd litters the ring with trash. Duchess comes out on the rampway. She flashes two fingers and then extends a third as she smiles. That seems to put a damper on Doc’s celebration. Doc and Duchess at Evolution! Till screams as we fade to black.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Man, just a TON of stuff going down on this show, and they still found time to get the show chock full of good wrestling. Roberts/CFC was as good a free TV match as MBE has had and both tag matches were solid too, if more angle driven. Evolution is shaping up to be a STACKED card, and if everybody comes through, could be an early favorite for show of the year. But this industry isn’t built on could bes and should bes, and nothing in MBE is ever a sure thing. Still, very solid WNW this week.

REWIND AWARDS

MOTN: Jeffrey Roberts v. CFC
SOTN: Ravage tossing the Asian Wonder into the nosebleeds
LOTN: “Doc Silver would never hire a man to do a man’s work. I mean Doc Silver’s work. Which is clearly a man’s work. For Doc Silver is a man. A wonderful champion man.” – Dr. P