PDA

View Full Version : MBE TOTAL ELIMINATION 2006, live on PPV



Yori Yakamo jr
07-06-07, 10:38 AM
(FADEIN: The camera in the back inside Doc Silver's locker room...Doc sees the camera and smiles.)

DOC: "MBE...I didn't come here to play nice...I didn't come here to be the guy everyone in the locker room came to with adivce...I'm not some old hand looking to pass the torch...No, the torch is MINE...and the only way anyone gets it is to pull it from my cold dead hands...MBE needs a champion, somebody to bring it to that next level, to give it respectablity in the ends of the world...Somebody who's not a closeted homosexual with a stage name thought up a class room of 8 year olds...Somebody who MATTERS...And that's me...And that's why I'm winning this thing tonight, that's why I will be your World Champion, that is why this company...Will be in the palm of my hand...And anyone who resists me...Will find themselves banished to the endless path of misery...

Only Happy When It Rains...

TILL: Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to MBE TOTAL ELIMINATION!

Lights. Camera. Pyro.

LET'S START THE SHOW!

---

MATCH ONE- COOL FRANK CUTTA/JOCK MCCRUNK V. THE WEB BROWSER/LARRY THE LUDDITE

"All About the Pentiums" hits the arena as the crowd settles in to begin "Total Elimination". The Web Browser appears at the rampway and heads straight from the ring, wearing his button down white collared shirt, unbuttoned/buttoned incorrectly and tattered black slacks

Dr.P: What the hell? Was there another incident down at the postal service? With the lack of talent about to emerge from those curtains and those that are currently in the ring, I might as well step away for a coke while you hold down the fort.

Till: You aren't going to do that, Phantasmo, this is the first match of the night!

Dr.P: That's Dr. Phantasmo, damnit! I didnt earn my Doctoratesin pain infliction and excellent execution to have you disrespect my title in such a manner, that and it's obvious I can outwrestle these fools and still be doing flawless commentary.

Webbrowser hits the ring and the theme immediately hits to "No Phone" by Cake, Larry the Luddit and "Little" Bitty Vacant emerge from the back and on top of the rampway, they head down to the ring getting a slightly unpleasant greeting, possibly by Sheffield Wednesday fans, all along the way as he reaches ringside. "little" Bitty is immediately greeted by ten Sheffield Wednesday Lot fans wearing the trademarked jerseys and "Little" Bitty makes a bee line for them and starts jaw jacking away with them as Larry the Luddite makes his way in the ring shaking his head at her and the crowd, "Little" Bitty spits once at them before meeting her father in the ring and holding up his hand to the crowd.

Till: I'm sure we all expected her to be very lady-like during this important pay per view event

Dr.P: What's wrong, Till? We all know you like it when they spit.

The music cuts off and "YO! YO! YO!" can be heard loudly throughout the arena, Cool Frank Cutta is on his way, he emerges from the back with the microphone squarely in hand, spitting out some raps for the crowd wearing his Orange and Black camo pants and a fitted Baltimore Orioles cap, crowd seems to be into it a bit, mostly because they know a few large people are about to get in the ring and start ripping each other apart. Cool Frank Cutta gets to the outside of the ring and finishes up his rap before "Scotland the Brave" (Jazze Pha Remix) hits the arena and the crowd gives him a warm ovation as Jock McCrunk apperas from the back, Kilt, Feathered Cap and Pimp Cane are all in attendance for the pay per view as he makes his way to the ring to meet Cool Frank Cutta, gives a few hand slaps along the way before meeting with Cool Frank Cutta, discards the feather cap and cane, removes the kilt and begins talking things over with him.

Till: He definately came out in style tonight

Dr.P: Yeah, if you do your shopping at Spencers

Till: Anyway, Senior Referee Lance Thunder will be kicking off this match soon, the sorry bastard.

Dr. P: I wonder how much more I make then him

Till: Lance Thunder?

Dr. P: Yeah, I'll bet you my paycheck that his paycheck is less than half of the paycheck I'm about to win back from you.

Cool Frank Cutta and Larry the Luddite are going to begin this match as Jock and Webbrowser get to their respective corners, "Little" Bitty gets to the outside near the Seffield Fans who have a chant ready for her. "Little *****y" seems to be what is heard through out the arena as Larry takes some offense to it and hits the ropes and jaws off at the Sheffield fans who started the commotion, Cool Frank Cutta takes the advantage, rushes in and lays down a forearm to the back, catching Larry by surprise, Lance calls for the bell and gets the hell out of the way. Frank unleashes with some forearms to the now on a knee Larry and continues to lay in shots to his back. Frank grabs Larry's arm and whips him to the far post, Larry hits the post and Frank comes charging in with a diving shoulder and catches Larry straight in the gut and begins driving his shoulder into his midsection. Larry isn't having any of that for long and reverses his position, grabbing Franks head and bashing it into his knee, then slamming him headfirst onto the top turnbuckle, immediately starts wailing on his back and kidneys with some punches.

Till: This is going to turn out into a streetfight

Dr.P is currently turned around and asking a fan a question

Dr.P: Scuse me, this is a wrestling event right? I think I made a wrong turn and ended up at a UFC event.

Frank throws an elbow back and catches Larry in the head, Larry stumbles back grabbing his temple as he spins around, turns back to face Frank but is met with a massive clothesline to bring Larry down on his back, Frank goes for a cover but only manages a 1 count before Larry kicks out. Frank picks Larry up and whips him to the ropes, Frank goes for another clothesline, Larry ducks under and bounces against the far ropes and comes back with Big Boot to Franks head. Larry picks up Frank and drags him to Larry's corner where Webbrowser is waiting, Larry tags in Webbrowser and gives Frank a goodbye gift with a European uppercut before leaving the ring, Frank is on his back again as Webbrowser begins dropping the elbows on Frank. Webbrowser gets up on the second rope and drops yet another elbow on the prone Frank before making a cover. Jock is in with the save letting Frank recover a little bit, Lance Thunder ushers Jock back to his corner as Larry and Webbrowser begin laying in the boots.

Till: I think Lance is going to lose control of this match VERY quick.

Lance Thunder turns around and Larry holds his hands up as if he got lost in his corner and accidently made it in the ring, Larry heads out as Webbrowser begins laying in the punches to Frank's forehead.
Dr.P: we're about 3 minutes and counting...not 1 wrestling maneuver.
Webbrowser stops the assault and slowly picks up Frank and irish whips him to the ropes, attempts a lariat and misses as Frank hits the far ropes, comes back and is met with a dropkick from Webbrowser, putting him back on the mat, Webbrowser stands up again and smiles out to the crowd and gives them a little flaunt.

Webbrowser goes for the cover.

1....

2....

Kickout at 2.5.

Webbrowser picks up Frank one more time and gets him in position for a DDT, Webbrowser takes too long with the move and Frank picks up Web into a spine buster, puts one hand on his chest and slams him back down to the mat, both men are on the ground. Lance wakes up real quick and begins the standing 10 count as both men are on the ground. Frank is stirring quickly though and is rolling towards Jock but Larry is on the outside holding his ankle as Webbrowser stands up and drops a leg onto the back of Frank's neck, the crowd boos as they are wanting to see Jock get in and mop up the two. Larry picks Frank up again and slams him to the mat and lays in the boots near the corner, Webbrowser decides to take another chance at a flying elbow drop, climbs to the top and finds NOONE THERE, Frank rolls out of the way and both men are down again but Frank is inching his way towards Jock as Webbrowser is getting back to his feet, holding his elbow. TAG JOCK! Jock is in the ring and back elbows Web as he turns around, goes flying at Larry with dropkick to the knees knocking him off the ramp and slamming headfirst onto the corner, Frank is out of the ring and grabs a chair and makes his way towards the stunned Larry while Jock gets up, turns around and spears Webbrowser back to the ground and begins wailing wildly at his head, Lance is too busy worrying about the closed fists as Larry takes his hands off his head and is met by Cool Frank Cutta who THROWS the chair at his head with a loud CRACK! Larry down on the outside! Larry grabs another chair and places it on Larry's head as he climbs the ramp with the other chair in hand, climbs the turnbuckle, jumps and SLAMS THE CHAIR ontop of the other chair crushing Larry's head between it and the ground. Large pop from the crowd who was here to see blood. Meanwhile, in the ring Jock picks up Webbrowser after viciously assaulting his cranium with fists and headbutts him a couple times, is about to unleash a third headbutt as Webbrowser charges Jock, grabs him and sends both wrestlers to the outside to meet Frank and Larry who are both down on the outside.

Frank is getting up and picks up Larry who seems to be on dream street and strongly whips him to the railing sending him flying over the top and into the crowd, Larry's manages to hold onto the railing and rests his head on it for a second but Frank takes quick action, picks up the used chair, charges Larry and flies into the air sending the chair cracking into Larry's skull! They're both out in the crowd now as Jock and Web make their way to their feet, Webbrowser throws a punch, Jock ducks and knee strikes Web in the gut, leaning him over, Jock picks up Webbrowser and SHOULDER BREAKER ON THE STEEL STEPS! Crowd is popping wildly for that as Web is grabbing his shoulder in serious pain.

Back on the outside and Larry manages to reverse a reverse suplex with a running bulldog through a steel chair previously inhabited by a spectator, Frank's head is now cought in the chair and he is down. Larry shakes the cobwebs out and sees Frank's predicament. Puts a foot on top of the chair and points at the crowd and begins talking smack before bringing it up and DOWN CRUSHING FRANK'S NECK IN BETWEEN! painful moment for Frank as Larry kicks the chair off of him and grabs him by the cornrows, brings him back to his feet and picks him up into a body press and sends him flying into a row of steel chairs! ribs, back, head and neck must be broken but back to the action near the ring.

Jock is still on the offensive and has the bell in his hands, Webbrowser looks like he's stumbling and woozy at this point, Jock does a little "Crip Walk" style dance before spitting on the bell, shining it with his arm and DING! bells are ringing in Webbrowser's head for sure now. Lance Thunder is outside trying to, although a futile attempt, restore order to this match, Larry throws Frank over the railing and meets him back at ringside, Frank begins fighting back by throwing a few punches, Larry is meeting him with more punches, punch for punch going on as Larry throws a punch and its blocked! knee to the stomach! DDT on the chair! Franks stands up with a slight stumble and rests Larry's back against the announce table, props a chair against his head, takes a couple steps back and feels like a pimp cause he's brushing his shoulders off, charges in, soccer kick to the chair! On the other end, Jock drives the other chair into Webbrowsers gut and uppercuts him with the chair! Jock begins backing up, Frank is backing up, Jock backs up into Frank, Jock turns around and brings the chair up but Frank throws a punch into the chair and bounces it off Jock's head!!

Till: That's a miscue there, but it looks like Lance has had just about enough of this mess

Lance throws his arms up and calls for the now replaced bell as the ring announcer comes over the PA

The referee has ruled this match a DOUBLE DISQUALIFICATION!

Frank is checking on Jock who still has the chair in his hand, throws the chair up in Frank's face and gets up and starts trading punches with Frank, Jock is gaining the upper hand as he grabs Frank by the hair and sends him face first into the ringpost, has him by the hair still and sends him flying into the steel steps! Larry and Web are still managing to their feet at this point and witness the brawl that is ensuing. Jock grabs Frank by the hair once more and drags him out to the ramp, Frank begins to counter with a couple punches, eventualy it turns out into a punch for punch brawl in the rampway as security and refs come running down trying to seperate the two.

Till: Well that turned out very interesting, not only did we not have a winner but it looks like Frank and Jock have just introduced themselves to each other, and I wouldn't doubt that we will see more of these two in the future.

Dr. P: Oh I'm sorry, I must have missed something, I was trying to get away from this riot that just occured, these Chicago fans are out of control! Now that everything is back in order we can finaly start the Pay Per View.

Till: We just had our first match, were you not paying attention?

Dr.P: Honestly? no.

Till: Well I wouldn't doubt you'll pay attention as A makes his stateside debut against Ryuji Yakamo in an exhibition match.

Dr. P: Finally! Get ready Till because you are going to see sheer ring brilliance in action in a few moments when "A" shows these fans real entertainment, everyone needs to grab pen and paper because this is what MBE SHOULD be like.


---

MATCH TWO- SPECIAL PBPRO EXHIBITION MATCH: RYUJI YAKAMO v. A

DR. P: We have a special treat for you uneducated Americans now, Till. A true wrestling legend, A, graces Message Board Entertainment for the first time.

TILL: I don’t know if I would give valuable airtime to a man not on our roster, let alone one who has tried to undercut our fearless leader throughout his career, but hey, I’m not in charge.

DR. P: And for that, we can only be thankful. ‘Tis the season and all.

TILL: Sigh, lets just toss it down to the Vinman.

VINMAN: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a special PbPro exhibition match with a ten minute time limit.

At the mere mention of PbPro, the crowd jeers lustily. “Birdman” by Thee Michelle Gun Elephant begins to play and the youngest Yakamo sibling makes his way to ringside. The crowd actually gives him a decent ovation, based on his last name.

VINMAN: On his way to the ring, hailing from Chiba Prefecture in Tokyo, Japan and weighing in at 89 kilos, Yakaaaaaaaamo Ryuuuuuuuuuujjjjjjiiiiiiiiiii!

TILL: The youngest Yakamo brother has drawn comparisons to his eldest brother with his daredevil aerial antics, but he has yet to quite live up to the hype in PbPro.

DR. P: Well if you had the shadow of Hida Yakamo to live with, you might underachieve as well, Till. Oh wait, even without the shadow of a true wrestling legend, you underachieved. Sorry, my mistake.

Ryuji limbers up in the ring as he awaits the arrival of A. His music slowly fades out.

DR. P: Oh I am so excited. I can hardly wait. We want A! We want A! We want…come on, everybody.

The theme from “The Lion in Winter” begins to play as with much fanfare and fireworks, the Japanese wrestling legend ‘A’ arrives in Chicago. He emerges from the back in his trademark full robe and kabuki mask. The crowd doesn’t know quite what to do with him, so they boo.

DR. P: Sacrilege to boo a man of such stature.

VINMAN: And his opponent, hailing from Nagoya, Japan. He weighs in at 114 kilos. He is a four-time PbPro Quintuple Crown Champion. A three-time Global Tag Champion, and a five-time winner of the ‘P Climax’ Tournament. This…is… AAAAAAAAAAAA!

‘A’ takes off his mask in the ring, and is clearly annoyed at the reception he is receiving.

TILL: Will you sit down and stop applauding? You look like a fool.

DR. P: The only fool I see here is the man who does not warmly welcome the greatness of A! That would be you, Tillrules. In case you were too foolish to realize that.

The bell rings and Ryuji solemnly bows to his opponent.

DR. P: Ryuji, showing due deference to his elder.

TILL: What can we expect from both these men, Doctor P?

DR. P: Well, Ryuji spent several years recently in Mexico, and has adopted a hybrid lucha style. Like his eldest brother, his knowledge of submissions is formidable. He is incredibly quick, but still prone to the mistakes of youth. While from A, we can only expect unabashed greatness.

TILL: Big help there, Doc.

The two men circle and lock up. A gets a go behind into a leg trip, runs in place on Ryuji’s back and hits the ropes, catching Ryuji with a dropkick as he regains his vertical base.

TILL: Admittedly impressive.

DR. P: Impressive indeed.

Collar and elbow tie-up again, but this time it is Ryuji who gets the upperhand, twisting his mentor into an armbar. A rolls out of it, but Ryuji drags him to the mat with an arm dragon screw. The youngest Yakamo hits the ropes and catches A with a running rana, snapping the elder to the mat.

TILL: Impressive agility from Yakamo. Whoa, bit of a flashback there.

A kips up and catches Yakamo with an arm drag and works an arm bar as the crowd claps politely. Yakamo powers up and cuts A’s legs out from under him. He hits the ropes again, but this time gets caught in a quebradora. A quickly transitions into a bow and arrow variant.

DR. P: Ah, like fine wine, A only gets better with age.

TILL: I must admit, he is quite skilled.

DR. P: Was it really that painful to agree with my brilliance now, Till.

TILL: Like passing a kidney stone, really.

Using his legs A flips Yakamo over and drops him ribs first onto his knees, eliciting an ‘ooh’ from the crowd. He tries to move into a triangle choke as Yakamo desperately tries to block.

TILL: A looking to make short work of Ryuji Yakamo.

Yakamo flips over into a bridging pin.

1…

A kicks out, but breaks the hold.

Yakamo grabs a waist lock, standing switch, but Yakamo breaks the grasp and hits an over head kick, rocking A. He hits the ropes and delivers a jumping knee, finally knocking A to the mat. Yakamo shoots the half nelson for the pin attempt.

1…

2…

A kicks out.

DR. P: Ryuji nearly with the mammoth upset.

A is up first and just blasts Ryuji’s chest with a series of kicks.

TILL: A doesn’t take too well to being shown up, I see.

DR. P: Nonsense. A gives as good as he gets.

A fifth kick finally knocks Ryuji to the mat. A covers, adding a forearm across the bridge of the nose for good measure.

1…

2…

Ryuji kicks out.

A immediately grabs a camel clutch and adds some crossfaces for good measure.

TILL: If I didn’t know any better, I’d say A was trying to teach Ryuji a little lesson.

DR. P: Fortunately, it is well established now that you don’t know any better.
The crowd swells in applause as A soaks it in, not realizing it is for Irishred, who appears at the top of the rampway, wearing all five belts of the PbPro Quintuple Crown, quite awkwardly.

DR. P: What is this fool doing here?

TILL: Well apparently he is going to answer that question for you, Doc, cause the champ is headed this way.

A finally sees Red, and is none too pleased at this interloper. Red sits down at the announce table to have a pleasant chat with the announce team.

RED: Hey gentlemen, thought I would come down and see the best that PbPro has to offer firsthand.

DR. P: Perhaps you should watch it in the back, and not sully the legend of A with your mere presence.

RED: I don’t know Doc P. That seems as likely as my not kicking your teeth down your throat if you keep prattling on.

DR. P: Well played, my good man.

RED: Much better.

A breaks the hold and hits a wheel barrow suplex out of it, keeping one eye on Red the whole time.

RED: Jolly good show there, wouldn’t you say, Doc?

TILL: You know he’s not actually British?

RED: Whatever.

TILL: So what do you think of the action so far, Red?

RED: This A has some potential, I will say. He might make a worthy challenger to the 5-Crown title at some point. I’ll be pulling for him to step up his game.

DR. P: You imbecile. This man is a legend, he has held the title four times, and he can take it from you whenever he deigns to do so.

RED: See, by my count that just means he has lost the belts four times. I’ve lost them zero times. Advantage, Irishred.

Back in the ring, A hits an enzuigiri and covers.

1…

2…

Ryuji kicks out.

RED: Those Yakamos are squirrelly little bastards, aren’t they?

DR. P: How uncouth. You should have more respect for such a legendary wrestling family.

RED: Last I checked one of them was sitting backstage soaping up a hobo for a sponge bath while high no drugs.

TILL: You give me such faith in the future of the company, Red.

RED: Hey, as long as I breathe, Till, MBE will be in the best shape possible.

A starts to deliver the coup de gras, the A+ bomb, but he takes his eye off Ryuji enough that the youngest Yakamo can escape and knock A to the floor with a dropkick. He tries to follow with a placha, but gets caught in midair and rammed back first into the post by A, who shares some unpleasant words for Red.

RED: You are in America, ya bastard, speak English.

DR. P: What insolence!

A fires back with a universally known gesture.

RED: That’s… better.

A starts to roll Ryuji into the ring, but turns back to Red, who gives the Nippon Sports International Title a little kiss in front of A, then slips it some tongue. A is outraged.

DR. P: Treat those belts with some class and respect, Red, if you even know the meaning of the words.

RED: Hey, A is welcome to these belts, if he can take them from me.

A spits in Red’s face, a flash of anger flies over Red’s visage, but then he laughs.

RED: Hey, kimosabe, if you wanted to spit shine my belts for me, you just should have asked.

Red rubs A’s phlegm on the titles, angering A further, so much so, he completely ignores that fact that he is about to be counted out. He realizes what happened a second too late.

WINNER (by countout): RYUJI YAKAMO

DR. P: What is the meaning of this? You can’t count out A, he is a wrestling legend.

TILL: Well, if he is such a legend, he should at least know the basic wrestling rules. For example, you can’t stay out of the ring longer than the referee’s ten count.

DR. P: Irishred, this is your doing.

RED: Well, I can’t take all the credit, it required the general stupidity of Mr. Toyota over there.

DR. P: Such heresy!

A furiously rouses Ryuji as Red slinks off to the back. He questions his ward on why he allowed the ref to count him out. Ryuji profusely apologizes, but A responds with some tough love, kicking the hell of his young charge.

TILL: Now come on, this is completely unnecessary.

DR. P: Obviously Ryuji needs a bit of discipline, to let his mentor fall into ill repute like this. He should be more attentive.

TILL: Hey, it was a wrestling match.

DR. P: An exhibition match, Till. There are no winners and losers. Except for A, who is always a winner.

A slaps on his trademark A+ lock, a seated crossface chickenwing/camel clutch combo. Ryuji screams in agony and vainly tries to tap out, but A refuses to release the hold. Finally the Yakamo brothers, Yori and Riki fly from the back to help their little brother. A retreats from the ring saying he was just trying to teach Ryuji a lesson. No harm done. He looks very flustered though.

TILL: I never thought I would say this, but thank god Yori is here.

DR. P: Those words don’t sound right together, are you sure you said them in the proper order.

Yori is more than a bit miffed and has to be restrained from going after A by Yamada who tries to smooth some things out between the two as heated words are exchanged, and Yori removes his novelty dildo tie in anticipation of a donnybrook. Riki helps Ryuji gingerly to the back, and the youngest Yakamo gets an appreciative bout of applause from the MBE crowd.

DR. P: They really should save their applause in case A returns.

TILL: I have seriously had just about enough of you, Doc.

---

MATCH THREE- FOR THE #1 CONTENDERSHIP TO THE MBE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: JOGI FRESH v. DUCHESS

The familiar opening of “That Don’t Impress Me Much” plays over the sound system as the capacity crowd gives a warm welcome to Duchess as she steps through the curtain and onto the rampway.

TILL: Duchess had a tough loss in the semifinals to Justin Evitable, but she has a chance to make history tonight and become the first female number one contender in MBE history. And I say it has been too long in coming.

DR. P: Blah blah blah Betty Freidan blah blah blah, you’ve come a long way, baby. No matter who wins this match, we are all losers. You’d think they could find someone better for Doc Silver’s first title defense.

TILL: I think you are putting the cart before the horse there, Phantasmo. And besides, last I checked, Duchess already has a win over Silver.

DR. P: Not when it counts, like most women, she folds under pressure. If you can’t get it done against Justin Evitable when it’s all on the line, just go home and start popping out babies.

TILL: As we await the deluge of outraged phone calls to MBE HQ, let’s toss it up to Vinman.

VINMAN: The following contest is set for one fall with a thirty minute time limit, and the winner will be crowned NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE MBE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP. In the ring, weighing in at an unspecified amount that she carries with grace and aplomb, from Central Florida, she is a former MBE Unified Champion and Tag Team Champion, and tonight she seeks a date with destiny at MBE Evolution. DUCHHHHHESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

The music changes to “The Champ is Here” and the crowd sings along as Jogi Fresh emerges from the back, flanked by his whole Entourage.

TILL: And now the man that should be wrestling for the Big Gold Belt, His Freshness.

DR. P:I can’t even count the ways that you are wrong there, Till.

TILL: Well, if it haven’t been for the an assist from the ‘severed head of ROBOYORI,’ Doc Silver would have been staring at the lights at WNW.

DR. P: Perhaps Till, but perhaps you should spend your time trying to invent a time machine to go back in time to prevent such a heinous occurrence, instead of spending it bothering me.
VINMAN: And her opponent…from the A-T-L. He weighs in at two hundred and sixty pounds. It’s the FRESH ONE. JOGIIIIIIIIIIIIIII FRESSSSSHHHHAAAAAAHHHHH!

TILL: Quite a barnburner tonight, two former tag partners face off, with big time stakes on the line….

DR. P: …Yawn.

TILL: Will you at least attempt to maintain a veneer of professionalism?

DR. P: I promise nothing.

The bell rings and Duchess cautiously circles Jogi. The Fresh One throws a few tester jabs out to keep Duchess on edge.

TILL: These two obviously know each other well.

Duchess feints and slips behind Jogi and grabs a waist lock. She tries to take Jogi to the mat, but the Fresh One blocks and works a standing switch. An amateur takedown brings Duchess to the mat, and Jogi switches to a front chancery. Duchess works herself free, and twists out from underneath Jogi, and grabs a hammerlock. She drives a knee into Jogi’s exposed shoulder a few times, as His Freshness tries to work himself free. He finally straightens out his arm and grabs one of Duchess’s legs, tripping the first lady of MBE to the mat. Duchess rolls onto her stomach, but Jogi immediately tries to sink in the hooks for a rear naked choke. Duchess rolls through and Jogi ends up with his shoulders on the mat.

1…

Jogi kicks out.

TILL: Some tremendous mat wrestling from the ex-PTPers to start.

DR. P: Yeah, wake me up when something interesting happens.

TILL: Way to promote the product, Doc.

Jogi keeps working for the choke, eventually forcing Duchess to the ropes for a break. The crowd appreciatively applauds.

TILL: Once again, the MBE crowd showing a finer appreciation for the sport than my co-commentator.

DR. P: Once again, Tillrules needs to shut his fat face.

Both competitors back to their feet now. Jogi shoots in, and though Duchess tries to block it, she is quickly slammed to the ground by the Fresh One. Duchess quickly finds herself in a head an arm choke as she scrambles for the ropes.

TILL: Jogi is forcing Duchess to play his game tonight. This could be a short outing for The First Lady of MBE.

Back up again, Jogi shoots in again, but Duchess leapfrogs him and lands on her feet. She hits a short savate kick which stuns Jogi. Jogi tries to fire back with a right hand, but finds himself tied up in a crucifix roll-up.

1…

2…

Jogi kicks out.

Jogi immediately rolls onto all fours and starts firing some knees off as Duchess tries to cover up.

TILL: Jogi is eminently comfortable anywhere in the ring. Cool, calm and collected.

DR. P: And other things that probably don’t start with the letter ‘C’

TILL: You don’t appreciate a little alliteration, Doc?

DR. P: It sounds like this segment of MBE was brought to us by the letter ‘C,’ the number ’12’ and the freaking Cookie Monster.

Jogi tries to grab the mount, but finds a knee lodged sharply in his groin.

TILL: Ooh, don’t know how the official missed that one.

DR. P: Now, things are starting to liven up a bit.

Duchess grabs a small package

1…

2…

Jogi kicks out.

Duchess is up and hits the ropes. She looks for another savate kick, but Jogi sidesteps and hits a series of quick jabs, before finishing with a euro uppercut that knocks Duchess to the mat. Jogi hits the ropes and drops an elbow, before covering.
1…

2…

Duchess kicks out.

Jogi keeps up the aggression, whipping Duchess off the rope and delivering a spinning T-Bone Suplex.

TILL: Impressive display of power by The Fresh One.

DR. P: Not really considering Duchess probably weighs about…

TILL: …I don’t think I’d go there, Doc.

Jogi goes right for The Freshness, but Duchess blocks it, driving both of her arms down onto Jogi’s. She grabs a cravate and runs towards the turnbuckle. She scales the buckles and leaps off for some sort of Ace Cutter, but Jogi drops her straight down into a tombstone piledriver.

TILL: My word!

DR. P: Now that’s impressive. And coming from me, that means something.

Jogi covers.

1…

2…

Duchess gets a shoulder up.

TILL: The crowd exhales there, as they thought it might be over.

DR. P: I’ve learned never to count Duchess out. She’s plucky, even if she only tips the scales at…

TILL: …seriously, Phantasmo, I’d find another line of commentary, just some friendly advice.

Jogi whips Duchess off the ropes and goes for The Freshness again. Duchess pushes off and tries for a rana roll-up, but gets caught hanging upside down. Jogi powers her back up into powerbomb position, but Duchess slips over and rolls Jogi up in a sunset flip.

1…

2…

Jogi rolls free, and immediately snaps Duchess back to the mat with a dropkick.

TILL: Ouchie.

DR. P: Ouchie, indeed, Till. I can’t see why you haven’t won an Emmy yet, or at least an ACE award.

TILL: Do they still even give those out?

DR. P: I have no idea, but for the purposes of that joke, yes.

Jogi has had enough and pulls Duchess up and into the Bixby Stretch.

TILL: Duchess is in trouble.

Duchess scrambles to try and make the ropes, but her size disadvantage leaves her a few feet short, as Jogi powers her back into the center of the ring. He pulls her in tight and places his knee right between her shoulder blades to add to the pressure.

DR. P: I can only imagine the pain that is wracking Duchess’s one hundred and…

TILL: …Doc, this is the last time I cut you off. If you want to dig your own grave…

Jogi stands up, keeping his grasp on the hold and then drives a knee into Duchess’s back. He continues to contort her arms, but the First Lady of MBE refuses to tap. Jogi tries it again, but this time Duchess drops down to her back and catches the surprised Jogi with a two-footed mule kick right in the mush. She grabs a body scissors and pulls Jogi over, sitting down into a pin.

1…

2…

Jogi kicks out.

TILL: Duchess just finds a way to survive, Doc. She may not be the biggest competitor or the most skilled, but she is usually in the hunt.

Duchess tries to follow up, but a superkick is caught and Duchess is pulled in for a Samoan drop. Jogi covers.

1…

2…

Duchess kicks out. Jogi transistions smoothly into a judo choke. Duchess scrambles for the ropes, but Jogi pulls her back into the middle of the ring.

TILL: Jogi has dominated from bell to bell, will he finally put Duchess away here?

Duchess leaps into the air and grabs Jogi’s head, pulling him into a jawbreaker. That breaks the hold and leaves both of them a bit woozy. Duchess shoots in and rolls Jogi over with a schoolboy.

TILL: Duchess with the handful of tights.

DR. P: Now a lady would never do such a thing.

1…

2…

3!

WINNER: DUCHESS

TILL: Duchess steals one from Jogi Fresh, she’s headed to Evolution to face the world champ.

DR. P: The Entourage seems none too happy about this turn of events.

Indeed, led by Jock, Jogi’s crew is on the apron and having a word with the referee. Jogi comes to and calms Jock down. He looks at Duchess and wipes his hands in the air. Duchess blows him a kiss and waves goodbye as she exits down the rampway.

TILL: Well, so much for that Primetime Players reunion.

DR. P: Because, truly, the whole world was waiting with baited breath for that.

TILL: Regardless, Duchess is moving on to Evolution as the number one contender, though I doubt Jogi is going to take this laying down.

DR. P: Well, he did a pretty good job of that a minute ago.

---

THE MBE HALL OF FAME INDUCTION CEREMONY: CLASS OF 2006

Till: Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that we now briefly turn our attention from the action in the ring to the stage where we will all pay tribute to three of the men that laid the foundation in MBE and did more than their share to blaze the trail and spark the fire that burns between the ropes in Message Board Entertainment to this very day. It’s time for the ceremony to honor the very first inductees into the MBE Hall of Fame.

The camera pans over to the stage at the back of the arena where a podium has been set up in front of a backdrop emblazoned with the logo for the MBE Hall of Fame. A short video airs on the Tron informing the audience of the construction of the Hall of Fame as part of the renovation of the MBE Arena to be open to the public for the first time as part of MBE Fan Fest on High Stakes weekend. The lights come up to reveal Duchess, Andy Gilkison and MBE legends MrAmazing! and Maggot all seated on the right side of the podium. To the other side are the inductees. BobbyR sits closest to the podium while next to him Hida Yakamo, both dressed to the nines of course. Further down the stage another portrait of The Spoiler.

Vinman announces the start of the ceremony to those in attendance and the crowd lets out a roar of appreciation, which obviously moves BobbyR. Even Hida seems genuinely touched. Duchess, Andy, MrAmazing! and Maggot join the crowd in a standing ovation for the honorees. Yamada and Yori Yakamo Jr., representing MBE and PBPro are also on the stage, standing off to the side and they politely applaud.

Till: Yori Yakamo seems completely lucid up there, this truly is a special occasion.

Dr. P: Yawn. Wake me when they finish my wing in the hall.

Duchess rises and walks over to the podium. She smiles at Bobby and then speaks.

Duchess: I can’t even begin to tell you how thrilled and honored I was when MBE asked me to induct BobbyR into the MBE Hall of Fame. BobbyR and I go back to the very beginning of MBE, back to the SupTool days, when MBE was nothing more than ten or twelve wanna-bes with stars in their eyes who loved this business and wanted nothing more than to be a part of it.

I can't think of anyone more deserving of induction than Bobby. While SupTool might have been the beginnings of MBE, and Spoiler might have been the strength of MBE, BobbyR is, was and always will be the heart and soul of MBE. He has held most of the MBE championships and his name on the marquee was a guaranteed sell-out. Once "Riding with the King" blared out over the speaker system, the crowd was on their feet screaming for the one, the only, BobbyR.

Historically, we all know that BobbyR was at the center of the most interesting and riveting MBE bullet points. He was the leader of the Squalid Beasts, his Championship battles with Spoiler were the stuff of legends, when the Red Don unmasked how many of us gasped in shock to see BobbyR, and who can forget the low blow that BobbyR received signaling the creation of the MBElite, trust me, he doesn't.

When MBE was shutdown, BobbyR was there arranging, and emceeing the final, unsanctioned battle royal. Breaking into and holding the MBE arena against the Syndicate, he organized one of the most star studded, illegal, underground events ever witnessed. Everyone who had ever cared about MBE was there saying a final goodbye. Thanks to BobbyR, those of us who wanted to say farewell got that opportunity.

There are several names that almost everyone associates with MBE, Spoiler, Hida Yakamo, IrishRed, Mr. Amazing, PILE, Maggot, and Professor Tremendous among others but they are all eclipsed by BobbyR.

I am genuinely flattered to induct into the MBE Hall of Fame the one man who epitomizes MBE, and professional wresting, the truly great, the icon BobbyR.

Till: I don’t know if anyone could have put it better. BobbyR has been moved to tears.

Dr. P: Maybe his shoes are too tight.

Bobby and Duchess share a long hug and he whispers something in her ear. She fakes a low blow and both laugh and hug again and then it is Bobby’s turn to take the mic.

BobbyR: Thank You Jean. I haven't been that moved since, well, since the forming of the MBE Lite- and this was definitely a better sort of moved.

Years ago when I broke into this business, I remember thinking I'd be lucky to last a few years. If someone had told me someday I'd be making a Hall of Fame Acceptance speech, I'd have thought they'd taken a piledriver too many. Then on my first tour of Japan, I met another gaijin named Dan West, and we decided to form a tag team. And for better or worse things have never been the same since.

Then we took a chance on a fledging promotion called Message Board Entertainment - or maybe they took a chance on us. Teaming up with Paco to form the Streakers, feuding against then teaming with Doc, Dumi and Duchess.

Bobby stops for a minute and a nostalgic smile crosses his face as he steps away from the mic and composes himself.

BobbyR: And then the Squalid Beasts. Tornado DDT the first champion after SupTool took over.

Well, You all know the stories, and don't want to listen to me drone on about the good old days. And if I started to name names, well, we'd be here all night, and they'd send Spoiler out to drag me off. And don't think he's not chomping at the bit hoping they will to.

So thank you for the recognition. Here's to all who have come before, and to all the future Hall of Famers competing today.

The crowd rises and give BobbyR another ovation. He shakes SupTool’s hand and Hida’s as well. He embraces Duchess once more and moves down the line to shake Maggot, MrA! and Andy’s hands as well. As he makes his way back to his seat Duchess hands him a plaque in recognition of his enshrinement. Bobby walks to the edge of the stage and raises it high overhead as the crowd goes wild.

Dr. P: Talk about milking a moment.

Till: Just because no one ever cheered for you. Ever.

Bobby takes his seat as Vinman announces Maggot, giving the former champion s history to a crowd anxious to welcome the former superstar back, even if it s just for tonight. Maggot gives a brief wave to the crowd and takes his place behind the podium.

Maggot: Our next inductee's a real sonuva*****. I should know, cuz I spent more time 'round him than's healthy for a human bein'. He's a liar and a backbiter. The only difference between his enemies and his friends is that he at least has the common decency to stab his friends in the chest rather than the back. I took his hair. He took my title. However, for as much bad blood as I gots for him, there ain't no other sonuva***** in this business who, pound for pound, is tougher than he is. He's a two-time MBE World Heavyweight Champion, and I'm proud to be the one to induct him into the Hall of Fame. Please give it up for Hida Yakamo!

Dr. P: THIS is a tribute to MBE’s greatest son? The incoherent ramblings of an illiterate buffoon?

Till: I’m sure Maggot will be most interested in your opinion of him at the after party tonight, doctor.

Dr. P: Like they’d let that vagabond into my private room.

Till: The fact that no one wants to hang out with you doesn’t make your room private.

Hida and Maggot share a moment together, shaking hands and clapping one another on the back. Maggot hands him his plaque, which Hida regards for a moment. Then the Asian Wonder, in all his glory, Yakamocito in hand, takes the podium.

HIDA: It was seven long years ago that I arrived on the shores of MBE, looking for a challenge to my strength, my stamina and my savvy. I found it here in the form of men like those sitting amongst me today. MBE made me what I am. A sick son of a ***** to be sure, Maggot, but a wrestling legend as well. To claim to be the best, you must constantly test yourself against the best. Nowhere but in MBE can a wrestler do that. I cannot stand here and claim to be without peer. But my peers are giants in the industry and legends in their own right. I am proud to join them in the inaugural class of the MBE Hall of Fame.

There are a few people I would like to thank, without whom, this honor would not have been possible. First I would like to thank Yoshihiro Yamada. Yamada-san, you were my first mentor in this business and I could not have asked for a better teacher. You were like a second father to me and I could not have asked for a better role model. If you foster MBE with the same care and intelligence with which you fostered me, it cannot possibly fail.

Secondly, I would like to thank….SWEET JESUS FUNK. Yo yo yo Matty T. Sorry you couldn’t make it, my man. And I know we had our share of bad times as well as good. But hey, Hardcore Cool Crusade for life! Never forget where you came from folks. Contained there are stories that will make you laugh for years.

Next I would like to thank my dip**** brother Yori. Can I say dip**** here? We are on Pay Per View, right? Anyway, he may be a lude, crude, perverted little bastard with more illegitimate children than brain cells, but without him, MBE wouldn’t be back running at full steam, and I wouldn’t have these few minutes to glorify my career. Thanks, little bro.

And finally, I would like to thank the man who consistently stood across the ring from me and pushed me to my limit. Win or lose, I know I pushed back just as hard. He and I crossed paths far too many times in far too many venues. And someday, I assure you, I will beat him. He goes into the Hall of Fame tonight, and deservedly so. I’m talking about JOE RETRO! You may know him by some other name, though.

Thank you once more for this honor. It made The Asian Wonder feel on top of the world here in MBE, one last time.

The crowd goes wild as Hida stands there soaking it in for a moment and then takes his seat.

Till: Never at a loss for words is The Asian Wonder.

Dr. P: I could listen to that man orate all night.

Till: You probably have.

Dr. P: I beg your pardon! Don t think I won t come out of retirement to thrash you sir!

As the announcers argue Vinman announces the presence of MrAmazing!, which brings a mixed reaction from the crowd. This brings a smile to the former owner’s face which wins the crowd over and the cheers soon overwhelm the boos.

MrA!: Thank you very much for that warm reception. You know, there have been a lot of important personalities that have shaped MBE throughout its existence. I am fortunate to be sharing the stage with many of them tonight. But the honest to goodness truth is that without one person in particular, none of us would be on this stage tonight. There would be no Total Elimination. There would be no Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Trust me when I say that it is no exaggeration that there would be no MBE. Not as we know it. Plenty of men have toiled through the years to make MBE the elite wrestling organization that it is. Plenty of men have worked to give this company the reputation it so richly deserves. But before all of that there was one man with a vision. The man who saw the potential and lit the spark that would one day explode into the supernova of talent you are bearing witness to today. Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I first say ‘Thank you’ to, and then induct into the MBE Hall of Fame, MBE’s founding father ~ SupTool!

SupTool stands to yet another rousing ovation. MrAmazing! and he hug and then he takes his plaque. He makes his way down the row of legends and fellow Hall of Famers and shakes everyone s hands. He then takes the mic.

SupTool: Thank you.

SupTool raises his hands and takes in another round of cheers and then returns to his seat.

Tillrules: Classic Sup. Always succinct and to the point with his comments.

Dr. P: You could learn a thing or two from that man.

Vinman takes his spot behind the podium one last time to introduce Andy Gilkison and the crowd begins to stir in anticipation. Andy rises and looks over at the portrait of The Spoiler, then begins to speak.

Andy: Some would call me the 'heart and soul' of MBE. I guess someone thanks so, or else I wouldn't be up here, asked to introduce arguably the biggest Icon in MBE history into its Hall of Fame.

I've had my wars with this man, but believe me; I know what he meant to this company. And truthfully, what he STILL means to this company.

He was the Monster Heel that everyone loved to hate, and eventually... everyone loved to cheer for.

His feuds with the likes of BobbyR, Hida Yakamo, and (BLEEP), are all the stuff of legend.

He was feared and respected as the threat that he was.

In short... he was truly a Force of Nature that left a path of bodies in his wake, as he captured six MBE World Championships.

And people lined around the block to buy a ticket to watch him do it, whether they were booing him, or cheering him, it didn’t matter because either way they still cared enough to plunk down their cash to see him.

Okay... here's what you've been waiting for ladies and gentlemen... it is my honor to induct into the MBE 2006 Hall Of Fame... THE SPOILER!!!

The crowd goes ballistic as the image of The Force of Nature fills the MBE Tron and a spotlight shines on his portrait. Yamada walks over to the podium and begins to speak.

Yamada: It is with great regret that The Spoiler could not be here tonight to take part in these festivities. However, he has agree to appear via satellite to accept this great honor.

The crowd gives this announcement a mixed reaction as Yamada steps away from the podium and the huge screen comes to life, showing the unmistakable man in the black and red mask.

The Spoiler: It is a great honor to be-

The video feed cuts out and static fills the screen. There is a blast of feedback that reverberates through the arena.

Till: Obviously we are experiencing some technical difficulties with our satellite feed. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Dr. P: If the morons in the truck had any clue as to…

The feed comes back except this time something is obviously different. There is a man in a mask on the screen, but it’s clearly not Spoiler. The imposter begins to speak.

Fake Spoiler: Ladies and gentlemen, what a great honor it is to be inducted into the

The Fake Spoiler looks at an index card.

Fake Spoiler: MBE Hall of Fame. It’s such a great honor that I didn’t even care enough to get on a plane and fly to Chicago to accept in person. What a guy I am. The funny thing is, I’m not even really doing anything more important tonight. Or anything at all for that matter. I might sit down later over a pint of Chubby Hubby and think up a few scary metaphors, but honestly, I just don t give a crap. Not about MBE, not about the Hall of Fame, and not about you.

Till: Fans, we apologize for this interruption of an otherwise fantastic ceremony. Clearly this is not The Spoiler, but the question remains

Dr. P: Why DIDN’T The Spoiler care enough to show up tonight?

Till: No! The question remains who is this?

Fake Spoiler: I guess I’e just been so busy in A1E lately that I couldn’ be bothered to give two ****s about the company that MADE me. And yet, you people continue to cheer me and treat me like some kind of a hero. I guess then maybe, you don’ deserve any better than what you got tonight, which was a lousy sound bite from a washed up roid monkey who couldn’ be bothered to even show up and take a bow.

The imposter rips off his mask and reveals himself to be…

Till: FREAKFISH?!?

Freakfish: Congratulations MBE, you’re about to get exactly what you deserve.

The screen goes black and Yamada pitches a fit. Yori runs backstage, but finds the entrance blocked my an absolute mass of humanity.

Dr. P: Oh dear lord. It’s RAVAGE~!

Till: We haven’t seen him on an MBE PPV in, it must be 6 years.

Dr. P: And he appears to have gotten bigger somehow?

Yori falls to the stage as Ravage steps through the entranceway, ducking underneath the MBE Tron. With him is an asian man dressed head to toe in white, the only exception being the black sunglasses that he wears. The glasses match his hair, except for the temples where it has gone past grey to white.

Dr. P: He’s come back! It’s A!

Yamada’s face drops. He bows his head immediately as Ravage stands above him. Freakfish appears last from the curtain, wearing a trademark tailored black suit with a bright orange tie. He has a microphone in hand.

Till: This is just about the most unexpected turn of events we could have expected here tonight. I mean are we still on the air? Yes? This is just…the last I heard this man was done with MBE forever.

Dr. P: I’m as shocked as you Till. Not only is Freakfish here, but he has arrived with a PBPro contingent? What in the hell is going on?

Freakfish: Sothis is what it’s come to? You turn me away every time I offer to help. You tell me there is no place in MBE for me anymore? You edit me out of this company’s very existence because you’re too cheap to bring in a guy that has split more blood for this company than a single living soul? And you reward HIM? A guy who can’t be bothered to do anything but cash a check every now and then while he grandstands over THERE~! This is what MBE has bec-

Freakfish’s microphone is cut off. He laughs and walks over to the podium.

Freakfish: I expected that. The people in the truck still think this man (he points to Yamada) is in charge and that what he says goes. Well, EVERYONE is about to find out that things are about to ch-

The mic is cut again. Maggot, never one to wait for an explanation makes a b-line for FF and is caught by Ravage, who places a hand around his throat and throws him back through a piece of staging. Maggot crumples to the ground.

Till: My god the strength.

Dr. P: Not only that but the speed.

Duchess ushers SupTool to safety as Hida Yakamo takes off his jacket and takes a few steps back, taking in the scene, but keeping his cricket bat at the ready. BobbyR grabs his steel chair and cracks it across Ravage’s back. The monster turns to him with a smile. Yamada takes the chance and flees to the back as Ravage grabs BobbyR with both hands around the throat, lifts him high into the air and brings him crashing down with a sit out choke slam.

Till: This is outrageous! BobbyR has just been inducted into the MBE Hall of Fame God Damnit!

Chaos erupts on the stage. Andy G and MrAmazing both advance, but are held at bay by the enormous Ravage. A grabs BobbyR and holds him up. Freakfish lays the badmouth on him and then slaps him hard across the face. Security charges the stage as the picture goes to black. Tillrules microphone stays on for a moment, then that gets cut off. The screen is black for a moment and then color bars fill appear with the words MBE TOTAL ELIMINATION 2006 written in white letters. Seconds pass and a video airs hyping tonight’s main event.

When the picture returns to live action the crowd is still on its feet. The cameras are on Till and Dr. P. who have regained their composure. Till issues a brief apology for the interruption of the Hall of Fame Ceremony and the show moves on without further mention of the incident.

---

MATCH FOUR- ANDY GILKISON V. PROMO

TILL: Folks, we’re gonna get back to the action now, and this is one hell of a grudge match we have right coming up. These two men, flat out do not like each other.

DR. P: Your mastery of understatement is, as usual Till, incomparable.

TILL: Thank you, Doc.

DR. P: No problem.

“Highway to Hell” begins to play and the capacity Chicagoland crowd gives a warm ovation to the Gilkinator as he walks down to the ring.

TILL: Andy is preeminently focused on the match he has tonight.

DR. P: Gee, that is amazing Till. I know whenever I stepped into the ring, I was thinking about my grocery list.

TILL: You know Doc P…

DR. P: And peach cobbler. Man, I could never get peach cobbler out of my head. Can some PA get me some peach cobbler?

Andy steps through the ropes and acknowledges the crowd before turning his rapt attention to the entrance to the arena.

“I Stand Alone” hits the PA and the Pavlovian booing begins immediately. Promo walks through a cloud of smoke on to the rampway and soaks in the boos.

DR. P: I must admit, the Rasheed Wallace jersey is a nice touch.

TILL: Man, Promo is such a jerk.

DR. P: I’m sorry he didn’t invite you to the Junior Social, Till. But let’s let bygones be bygones.

Promo tosses the jersey into the face of a kid in the front row and promptly gets it tossed back in his face. He encourages security to toss the kid from the arena as a full soda bottle hits him. Promo jaws some more, but this time gets a right hand from a very impatient Andy right in the face.

DR. P: Andy, unsurprisingly, uses a blatant sneak attack. I don’t know how he will live with himself if he wins through such egregious cheating.

TILL: You know, I’d love Vinman’s job, half the matches he doesn’t even have to do introductions for. And as an added bonus, I wouldn’t have to listen to you babble on incoherently.

DR. P: I can’t help it if your sloping brow and puny brain renders you unable to understand my genius.

Andy tosses Promo headfirst into the ring, and the bell rings to begin the match. Andy drives the flat of his boot across Promo’s face as the Underground Icon struggles to cover up. Andy picks Promo up and whips him into the far turnbuckle, following with a huge Stinger Splash.

TILL: Andy has Promo on the ropes early. The former champ has to get his head into the game.

Andy hits the ropes as Promo stumbles out of the corner and delivers a running bulldog. He goes for a cover.

1…

2…

Promo kicks out.

Andy quickly follows up with a body slam and drops a quick elbow. Promo decides now is a good time to take a breather. Andy follows right out after him, though and drives Promo to the concrete with an axehandle.

TILL: Promo is not putting up much of a fight.

DR. P: Clearly, Andy replaced the real Promo kidnapped and replaced with some masked incompetent. What a conniving bastard.

TILL: I find that highly unprobable.

DR. P: First off, Till, that’s improbable. Seriously, how easy is it to pass the bar nowadays. Second off, what I find UNprobable is Promo being beaten pillar to post by someone with the surname Gilkison.

Andy whips Promo into the barricade, but his spear attempt misses, as Promo desperately flops out of the way, and the Gilkinator crashed into the railing. Promo regains his bearings and starts laying into Andy, but he is having none of it and he fires back as good as he gets. Promo is getting the worst of it, but goes to the eyes to regain the advantage. He quickly hotshots Andy on the railing and follows with a running back elbow that floors the former North American Champion.

TILL: This fake Promo is doing okay for himself, eh, Doctor P?

DR. P: Well, just by merely dressing like The Underground Icon, this probably an imposter is imbued with supernatural wrestling ability. Such is the power of Promo!

TILL: Really, you should quit this whole announcing thing and just start preaching on Lexington Avenue.

DR. P: Funny you should say that, Till, because that is where I met your mother. Before I had sexual relations with her.

Promo rolls Andy back into the ring and commences the STOMPING~! After repeated attempts to do some low cost dental work to the Gilkinator. Promo switches to the blatant choking.

TILL: Clearly, Promo is a supreme in-ring technician.

DR. P: You can’t argue with success, Till. Or causing Andy Gilkison pain.

Irish whip and Promo drops Andy with a turning powerslam. He covers.

1…

2…

Andy kicks out.

Promo smoothly transitions into a ground full nelson as he twists and torques Andy’s neck and some fairly uncomfortable looking directions. He steps over Andy, turning it into a modified camel clutch. Andy makes the ropes, but not before sitting in the hold for a good minute.

DR. P: Promo’s game plan is becoming clearer, now.

TILL: What, cheat and cheat some more?

DR. P: I was thinking more along the lines of wear Andy down with sheer wrestling brilliance, but you are entitled to your opinion.

Promo scrapes his boot across Andy’s face, as the Gilkinator lies prone in the ropes. The ref does his best to back Promo off, but The Underground Icon is having none of it. He shoves the official out of the way, but walks right into Andy’s boot, groin first.

TILL: Andy fighting fire with fire.

DR. P: Andy blatantly violating the rules of wrestling…again.
Andy fires off some European uppercuts as he gets back to his feet, and then drops Promo with a clothesline. Andy implores his opponent to get his ass up, and then sends him back to the mat with a bodyslam. He drops a leg across Promo’s throat and then covers.

1…

2…

Promo kicks out.

Andy wastes no time, hitting a series of three rolling suplexes, as Promo feebly tries to block them. Andy signals for the Gilkimission.

TILL: Andy looking to take care of Promo RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW.

Promo slips free as Andy tries to apply the hold and ends up behind Andy. He goes for the Fadeout, but Andy, too, slips free. He has Promo locked for a belly to back suplex, but the former world champ flips out and lands on his feet behind Andy.

DR. P: FADEOUT! FADEOUT!

TILL: Andy is in trouble here, big trouble.

Andy quickly hoists Promo onto his back and runs straight back into the corner, sandwiching the Underground Icon between the Gilkinator and the turnbuckles.

TILL: That breaks the hold, but it may have taken a toll on Andy.

Andy tries to catch his breath, but soon finds himself airborne as Promo German Suplexes him headfirst onto the bottom turnbuckle. The crowd recoils in horror, as Andy’s head and neck snap forward.

TILL: MY WORD!

DR. P: I couldn’t have said it better myself, Promo has just crippled Andy Gilkison, oh happy day!

Promo covers.

1…

2…

Andy gets a foot on the rope.

DR. P: A rare strategical mistake by Promo there, Till.

TILL: Wow, that was almost unbiased.

DR. P: I am always fair and balanced, Mr. Rules.

Promo drags Andy back to the center of the ring, and covers again.

1…

2…

Andy kicks out.

TILL: You know, that usually never works. Promo would have been better served to follow up there instead of giving Andy time to recover.

DR. P: Now you are just piling on Till, clearly Promo is just distraught over failing to rid the world of Andy Gilkison, I would lose a little focus myself.

Promo slaps on a ground cobra twist and returns to working over the injured neck of the Gilkinator. The ref checks on Andy, but he shows no sign of wanting to give up. Promo shifts position and rolls into a crucifix hold.

1…

2…

Andy gets a shoulder up.

Promo tries to turn it into a crossface, but Andy rolls through, and puts Promo on his back.

1…

Promo kicks out.

TILL: Andy with the wherewithal to try and steal one there.

DR. P: Well, with any luck, Promo will knock that wherewithal out of him, along with a few of his teeth.

Promo is pissed, and quickly lays in some soccer kicks right to Andy’s mush. He gets the dazed Gilkinator in position for a DDT, but Andy powers out with a release Norther Lights Suplex out of nowhere.

TILL: Hyooge counter from Andy. Can he capitalize?

Andy is up and sets Promo for a German suplex, but the former world champ throws some back elbows to block. He breaks Andy’s waist lock and looks for an Ace cutter, but Andy pushes off and Promo hits the ropes. The Underground Icon ducks a clothesline and reaches back, dropping Andy with a standing neckbreaker.

TILL: Andy’s comeback is cut off in the worst possible way.

DR. P: Yep, he sure is writhing in pain on the mat. Hold on while I commit this image to memory.

Promo hoists Andy and drops him with a brainbuster. He pauses to soak in some boos, before pinning the Gilkinator.

1…

2…

Andy kicks out.

TILL: Promo should know better than to play to the crowd before going for a pin.

Promo gets Andy in position for a cradle piledriver, as Andy struggles mightily to block it. He backdrops out of it, but Promo quickly is back to his feet and squashes Andy with an enzuigiri.

TILL: He’s got Andy up now…CRADLE PILEDRIVER! Andy is down.

DR. P: Would you like to supersize this asskicking, thank you, drive through.

TILL: No! Andy gets his shoulder up. Amazing!

DR. P: Andy sure is a glutton for punishment.

Promo’s growing frustration becomes more obvious, as he stomps away at The Gilkinator. He signals for the Promoplex.

DR. P: I feel like a kid on Christmas morning.

Andy is placed on the top turnbuckle, and Promo follows him up. He grabs the waistlock, and Andy begins fighting with all he’s got, firing elbows, and wrapping his legs around the ring post, all to keep from being deposited on his head. Promo gets him up, but Andy counters with a giant top rope bulldog.

TILL: MY WORD!

DR. P: There is no god.

Andy rolls over and drapes an arm over Promo.

1…

2…

Promo kicks out.

DR. P: Praise Jesus!

Andy slowly makes his way, unsteadily, to his feet. Promo does the same. Promo tries to throw a right hand, but Andy blocks it. Right hand Andy. Another. And another. Promo tries a clothesline. Andy ducks.

TILL: GERMAN SUPLEX! Andy is holding on. A second one! And there’s the third! Andy with the bridge.

1…

2…

Andy’s neck can’t support the bridge and he has to abandon the pin.

DR. P: Andy got a little showy there. He should have released on the third one and gone for a more conventional pin.

Andy is still cradling his neck, but sets Promo for the ANDYBOMB!

DR. P: Promo counters with a rana roll-up.

1…

2…

Andy kicks out as the crowd collectively exhales.

DR. P: A brilliant and agile counter from the big man.

TILL: Sadly, I must agree with you, Doc.

Promo pounces quickly, sending Andy headfirst into the post. A dropkick drives him into it again, as the Gilkinator slumps in the corner.

DR. P: Truly, Promo is the Innovator of Violence against Andrew Gilkison, and should be commended.

Promo puts Andy back on the top turnbuckle and sets him once more for the Promoplex. Andy goes up….and lands on his feet!

TILL: What a counter from Andy!

DR. P: No! No! No!

Promo is in the wrong spot and Andy pulls him off the turnbuckle and into the Gilkimission. He promptly falls back and adds the body scissors.

TILL: Promo is done for! There is no escape now.

DR. P: This can’t be happening!

TILL: What the? Those bastards are back!

Indeed, Ravage, A and Freakfish make their way down the ramp with much haste.

TILL: I thought they threw those bastards out of the building..

Andy doesn’t see them coming and is quickly extricated from Promo. Ravage chokeslams the beleaguered Andy and the ref calls for the bell. To say the crowd is pleased with this turn of events would probably be a strong understatement.

WINNER (via DQ): ANDY GILKISON

TILL: This is a farce.

DR. P: I am sure the PbPro contingent as a judicious reason for interjecting in this sure to be victory for Promo.

TILL: ******* you Doctor Phantasmo.

Freakfish adds injury to insult with the Champagne Supernova, and A applies the A+ Lock as Promo grabs a house mic. A rain of trash flies from the crowd as Promo speaks.

PROMO: Andy, when you decided to mess with me, you messed with powers beyond your imagination. I am the real world champion of MBE, officially recognized by PbPro, and they have a vested interest in not seeing numbnuts like you mess with a man of my stature. I am the future of this company, and if you want to succeed, you better get in line behind us, cause if you stand in front of us, you’re gonna get trampled.

Promo throws the mic right in Andy’s face, and adds some stomping for good measure.

TILL: This group of small, pitiful human beings deserve to be washed out of MBE.

DR. P: That collection of unabashed talent in the ring deserves your respect and loyalty, Till, not your scorn.

TILL: Finally, it’s the cavalry!

A horde of MBE stars, led by Irishred storm the ring, clearing out the PbProers from its midst. Red tends to Andy as Jogi and Jock threaten some serious comeuppance for FF and crew, leading FF to ask to the camera “Who in the hell is Jogi Fresh?” as we cut to backstage.

---


As the camera comes fades up, it is focused on Justin Evitable walking down the hallways of the arena, ROBOYORI is dancing down the hallway next to him, Hobo, Pete Peters, Russian Strippers, Thai Hooker Marching band, Smitty, Riki Yakamo, ladies and gentleman, the Inner Sextum. Justin stops for a moment at the catering stand and looks over the food. Gives the hot dog a second glance and then grabs a water and swigs it down and grabs the towel off of ROBOYORI's shoulder and whipes his mouth and tosses it over ROBOYORI's head, ROBOYORI continues to dance even though his visual receptors are a little blocked, he tapers off camera. Biff Bentley appears out of nowhere to get a word in with one of the MBE World Heavyweight Championship contenders.

BB: Justin! Justin, can I get a word with you before your match.

Justin: Of course you can, Biff! And that's "your highness" to you, Biff.

BB: Your highness?

Justin: That's right, I am the prince of MBE, I am the only remaining royalty left in this company that can claim the crown that is the MBE World Heavyweight Championship, and what else are you going to ask, Biff...how do I feel? What do I have planned for Doc Silver? That's an obvious question with an obvious answer, I intend to pull out every move I have and can come up with on the fly to defeat him tonight, he will not walk out of here with MY and OUR MBE World Heavyweight Title. The Inner Sextum will reign supreme over the new MBE and your "True Face" will sit atop the heirarchy as the MAN. A pedastal that Doc Silver has absolutely no right standing on. Not within these walls that Spoiler, BobbyR, Hida Yakamo, Tillrules, SupTool, Andrew Gilkison, Duchess built. I am proud to have been in during the same era and now I am accepting the flames that they created, and spinning it into what my vision of MBE will be like. The FIRST MBE champion of the new era, of version 2.0, destiny has lead me to this point and I know I am going to win, you know why? Because these events are playing out just like the star wars series...

BB: Star Wars?

Justin: YES *******it, Star Wars, dont you pay attention! Think of it...in the beginning there was a bang and MBE was born a long long time ago. Then Spoiler became the champion and started a reign, Hida Yakamo, BobbyR, the golden times, a "New Hope". Then came the dark times, the syndicate. They were the inevitable destruction of MBE and Promo decided to betray his comrades and leave MBE to be utterly destroyed. The Syndicate Strikes Back. AND NOW! A new "force" has emerged to put an end to anything and everything in the way of halting the renewal of a once wonderful company. The Return of the Face. That's right Biff, it's time now, after 4 long years of MBE suffering, for me, the "True Face", the Rated "R" Popstar, the Connoisseur of Head Dropping to bring back the MBE World Heavyweight Championship to the fans and to the rightful heir to the throne of MBE.

BB: You're really getting into this royalty thing.

Justin: Silence peasant! The "True Face" is still speaking...Doc Silver...you know why I am going to leave here World heavyweight champion?

Justin pauses as the crowd slowly starts up a "True Face! True Face!" chant, Justin looks up and around and then back to the camera and points as if pointing to the audience

...that's why...

Justin walks off as the marching band begins to play "Hava Nagila" for absolutely no reason, once off the screen hobo looks back at the camera as if he was a deer in headlights, mouth full of food and runs off, just then, ROBOYORI does the hustle, towel still covering his head, directly into the catering table, sending food flying all over Biff Bentley.


---

MATCH FIVE- MBE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: THE THRILLBILLIES(c)/”COWBOY” JIMMY DONOVAN v. THE SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY LOT- ELIMINATION RULES

TILL: Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for our tag team championship match. This feud has burned hot since the relaunch of MBE, and it will finally come to a fervent climax tonight.

DR. P: Man, who let Yori write our copy?

The sounds of drunken chanting echo across the arena and the first drum beats of “Conquest of Paradise” plays. As the music reaches a crescendo the Sheffield Wednesday Lot emerge from the back to the jubilant boos of the crowd, excepting, of course, the ten hooligans in the front row in Wednesday jerseys.

DR. P: Man, those idiots are like the drunkest, surliest possible deadheads.

The Lot stop at ringside for a pint with their fans, pose for a few pictures, before entering the ring to await their opponents.

TILL: This may not be pretty, folks. Those of you prone to epileptic seizures at the sight of unabashed violence, may want to look away from the screen.

DR. P: Or those with an aversion to hooker-living cowboys.

“Black Betty” starts up on the PA and the Thrillbillies and Jimmy Donovan come barreling down the rampway. Vinman barely gets out of the way, as the six men collide in the ring and start right in on each other.

TILL: I hope for Vinny’s sake, he doesn’t get paid by the word.

Juen Lee gets airmailed over the top to the floor by Jake, who tries to follow with some sort of suicide dive, only to get cut off with a sick axe bomber from Mac. Mac gets cleared out of the ring by a Cowboy Clothesline, as both men fall over the top rope to the floor, leaving Hoss and Nate in the ring. Nate confuses Hoss with some British mat wrestling, and dumps him after a riled up Hoss misses a blind charge.

TILL: It’s pandemonium so far.

Nate celebrates for a moment, but walks into a dropkick from Jake. Nate almost tumbles out of the ring, but skins the cat back in and hits a shoulder block that knocks Jake into the ropes and back into a horribly convoluted backbreaker out of a fireman’s carry. Nate presses Jake over his head and tries to toss him on top of Jimmy and Hoss, but the two catch their teammate and toss him back at Nate who gets caught with a crossbody press.

1…

2…

Nate kicks out.

Jake tries to capitalize, but his irish whip attempt is reversed, and Jake gets tripped by Mac as he hits the ropes. Mac and Juen drag Jake out of the ring and throw him back into the barricade, where they hold him in position for an elbow sucida dive from Nate. Jimmy and Hoss are to the rescue quick and another improptu brawl breaks out.

DR. P: The referee has clearly lost control of the match. I blame the Thrillbillies. They should be immediately disqualified, their belts forfeited, and their asses blacklisted from wrestling forever.

TILL: Shocking that you would think that, Doc.

Hoss and Juen end up in the ring and Hoss stomps the poor little hooligan in the corner. Whip to the far post and a shoulder tackle follows, as Juen feebly flops to the mat.

TILL: Hoss has been fired up for this match all week, and it’s showing.

Hoss wastes no time, hoisting Juen for the Dixie Driver. Nate clips Hoss’s leg from the outside, though, and Juen falls on top for a pin as Nate holds down Hoss’s ankles.

1…

2…

Hoss gets a shoulder up.

TILL: The action is fast and furious here at MBE Total Elimination.

Nate quickly enters the ring, and he and Juen hit a double team face buster on Hoss. Juen covers.

1…

2…

Jake breaks up the pinfall.

Jake quickly eats some stomps from Nate, but Jimmy posts Mac outside the ring and springboards(!) into the ring with a dropkick, knocking Nate into Juen. Juen tumbles out of the ring, leaving Nate at the mercy of the Thrillbillies, who hit a double team gutbuster, followed by a running senton from Jimmy. Hoss covers.

1…

2…

Nate kicks out.

TILL: The ref is finally restoring a modicum of control over this match. He has escorted Jimmy and Jake back to their corner, and it’s just Nate and Hoss now.

DR. P: About time, but I wonder, has the nefarious double teams of the Thrillbillies done too much damage to our heroes already.

TILL: Your heroes perhaps.

DR. P: Clearly, the Lot are heroes to everyone, everywhere.

Hoss drops Nate with an inverted atomic drop and hits a running neckbreaker drop, rudely slamming the hooligan to the mat. He tags out to Jake who hops over the top rope and helps out with a double team shining wizard, leaping off his tag partners back to knee poor Nate directly in the mush. Jake covers.

1…

2…

Mac breaks up the pin.

As the ref escorts Mac back to the ring apron. Jake drags Nate to his corner for some triple team stomping and choking.

DR. P: I have never seen such a flagrant violation of the rules.

TILL: Well, Doc Silver is wrestling in the main event tonight, so give it time.

Jake tags out to Jimmy who picks up where his teammates left off, dropping Nate with a bodyslam and following with a forearm shiver across the forehead. Nate reaches vainly across the ring for a tag, but there is no respite coming.

TILL: Smooth tag work from the champions.

Jimmy lays out Nate with another bodyslam, then tags Jake back in, who enters the ring and bodyslams Nate. He tags out to Hoss, who delivers another bodyslam. Back to Jimmy for another. Jake with another. Hoss with another.

TILL: I’m getting a bit dizzy.

DR. P: I told you to stop drinking bourbon before every telecast, you closet alcoholic.

TILL: Ah, it just wouldn’t be an MBE show without some abject character assassination from Doctor Phantasmo.

Hoss stays in the ring and covers.

1…

2…

Nate feebly kicks out.

Hoss whips Nate into the corner, but finds it reverse. Nate blindly charges and eats turnbuckle. Hoss slams Nate’s head into the turnbuckle as the crowd counts along.

TILL: The Gentleman doesn’t look to have much left in the tank.

Nate fires off some short elbows to free himself from the head pounding, and snaps off a drop toe hold, sending Hoss throat first over the middle rope. Nate crawls to his corner and tags in Mac, who quickly cuts off Hoss, spits in Jake’s face and drags Hoss back to the Lot’s corner. Jake is in the ring in a flash, but is held back by the referee, allowing Juen to get some short rights in on Hoss as Mac chokes him over the bottom rope.

TILL: The Lot quickly resorting to goonish tactics.

DR. P: Mac Forrest is a wrestler of the utmost regard and acumen. I hardly think your patent jealousy warrants such name-calling.

Mac hits a Russian leg sweep on Hoss and floats over for a cover.

1…

2…

Hoss kicks out.

Juen gets tagged in and drops a slingshot legdrop across Hoss’s throat He covers.

1…

2…

TILL: And Hoss is out at two.

Juen quickly grabs a sleeper as Hoss tries to get back to his feet.

DR. P: The Lot smartly trying to limit the oxygen Hoss can get, to wear him down.
TILL: Well, that looks like it might be a choke to me, Doc.

DR. P: Well being the expert in choking in this booth, Till, I will take your word for it.

Before the ref can determine whether or not Juen has procured a choke sleeper, Hoss tosses Juen over his shoulder to the canvas. He tries to get to his corner, but Juen grabs onto his leg and starts biting. Hoss tries to shake the hooligan off. Nate and Mac leap into the ring and knock Donovan and Jake off the apron. They quickly turn and hit a double team clothesline on Hoss, knocking him to the mat along with Juen.

DR. P: Impeccable tag team strategy from the Lot.

TILL: Right down to the biting.

Juen finally releases his death grip. Mac presses him over his head and drops him on top of Hoss for the cover.

1…

2…

Hoss kicks out.

Nate tags in and puts Hoss on his shoulders as Juen heads up top. Hoss punches his way out though and shoves Nate into the turnbuckle, crotching Juen. Mac moves to cut Hoss off, but Hoss catches the hooligan with a spinebuster and leaps for the tag to Jake.

TILL: AND HERE’S MCCODY, RIGHT HAND NATE! RIGHT HAND MAC! IT’S BREAKING DOWN IN CHITOWN

DR. P: Hush you.

Jake tosses Mac from the ring, and leaps onto the top turnbuckle before ranaing Juen Lee off. The littlest hooligan is in a bad way as Jake heads back up top. He leaps off with a crossbody, but gets caught in midair by Gentleman Nate. He swings Jake around into a combo Urinage/Backbreaker. Jake bounces off Nate’s knee and to the mat with a thud.

TILL: Hyooge counter from the gentleman.

Mac charges to cut off Donovan’s save attempt as Nate quickly follows up with his trademark Hillborough Garotte. He covers.

1…

2…

3!

VINMAN: JAKE MCCODY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

DR. P: Splendid! And the Lot are up a man.

The Cowboy breaks through now and levels a celebrating Nate with the More Cowbell. Hoss is back in to cut off Juen Lee as Donovan delivers the Doggie Style Bomb over the top rope, snapping Nate back to the mat. He covers.

1…

2…

Mac breaks up the pin.

TILL: And we once more devolve into anarchy.

Mac stomps away at Donovan as Hoss stomps away at Nate. The two lock eyes.

TILL: DUELING GARVIN STOMPS!!!!

Mac finally breaks his off to charge in at Hoss, but Hoss catches him coming in with the Dixie Driver! He covers.

1…

2…

3!

VINMAN: MAC FORREST HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

DR. P: I call shenanigans. Neither of those people were the legal man.

TILL: Yes, because here in MBE we follow that provision with utmost care and scrutiny.

Jimmy and Hoss quickly turn their attention to Nate. Hoss props the hooligan up as Jimmy peppers him with rights and lefts. The ref finally forces Hoss out of the ring, leaving the hooker fan and the shooter alone to duke it out. Jimmy goes for another More Cowbell, but Nate ducks and catches Jimmy in a hanging armbar. The Cowboy tumbles into the ropes to force a break, but that leaves him open to the old handful of soccer pitch to the eyes behind the ref’s back.

TILL: Now THAT’S shenanigans.

Nate rolls Jimmy up, with a judicious handful of tights.

1…

2…

Jimmy kicks out.

TILL: NO! The cowboy showing some serious intestinal fortitude.

DR. P: Wow, did you just pick up the Pocket Handbook of 80’s Wrestling Announcer’s Clichés in the Borders bargain bin or something, Till?

Nate quickly moves for the Hillsborough Garrote again, but Jimmy wriggles free and turns it into a sunset flip.

1…

2…

Nate kicks out.

Juen catches Jimmy with a dropkick to the back of the head, but is then summarily tossed over the top rope by Hoss. Nate charges after Hoss, but gets caught in a double team spinebuster by Hoss and Jimmy, and they quickly each grab a leg and turn it into a double team Boston Crab.

DR. P: And here’s the cavalry!

TILL: With his bag of dirt.

Indeed, Juen is on the scene and he conks Jimmy upside the head with the bag of dirt. Hoss turns and gets a bagful as well and is knocked clear out of the ring. The ref call for the bell.

VINMAN: JUEN LEE HAS BEEN DISQUALIFIED

TILL: And now the Lot are down 2-1.

DR. P: I have a feeling not for long, Till. Real class strategy from the Lot.

Nate quickly rolls up the loopy Donovan.

1…

2…

3!

VINMAN: COWBOY JIMMY DONOVAN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

DR. P: See the Lot just traded a pawn for a rook. Quite the cerebral maneuver. And Hoss has already been through hell and back.

TILL: And it will be up to Hoss to hold on to The Thrillbillies tag titles now.

DR. P: If he can make it back into the ring.

Nate shoves the ref to the ropes and orders him to make the count.

1…

2…

3…

Hoss crawls up the apron.

4…

5…

6…

Pulls himself up to his feet.

7…

8…

And rolls into the ring.

Nate immediately shoots the half nelson and goes for the pin.

1…

2…

Hoss kicks out.


Nate grab a double chicken wing and drops Hoss throat first across the tope rope and hits the ropes, but we never find out what his plan was as Hoss hits the Dixie Driver out of nowhere.

TILL: Both men are down!

DR. P: A calamitous turn of events for the Lot fans. They look none too happy.

TILL: And all too drunk.

DR. P: They love life, Till. And they don’t feel the need to hide it in a flask under the announce table.

TILL: For the last time, I am not a closet alcoholic, Doctor P.

Hoss is up first, but Nate escapes a second Dixie Driver and lands behind the tag champ and delivers a bridging Tiger suplex.

1…

2…

TILL: No! Hoss kicks out at the last possible moment!

DR. P: An admirable sense of drama, but I wish the damned redneck would stay down before he gets himself seriously hurt.

TILL: Or wins the match?

DR. P: Perish the thought.

Hoss is looking a little punch drunk as Nate pulls him back to his feet. He fires off some punches that catch the Gentleman by surprise, but Nate quickly grabs a flailing arm, twists underneath and hits a hammerlock DDT, driving Hoss down on his shoulder.

TILL: Painfully innovative move from Gentleman MacNally.

DR. P: The Lot aren’t just another trio of pretty, and occasionally sober, faces, Till.

Nate quickly grabs a kimura and puts his knee across Hoss’s neck to keep the Thrillbilly stationary. Hoss screams like a son of a ***** and tries to squirm for the ropes, but Nate keeps him solidly in the center of the ring.

TILL: The crowd is chanting ‘Please Don’t Tap,’ but I don’t know if Hoss is going to have any choice soon. Nate is just tearing away at Hoss’s shoulder and elbow with that kimura.

Hoss frees his head, but still can’t maneuver to the ropes. Finally he just tries to power up to his feet.

DR. P: Not a chance in the world. Hoss is just expending energy that could be used to applaud the new tag team champions, The Sheffield Wednesday Lot.

But Hoss gets up to a vertical base as Nate tries vainly to push him back down.

TILL: THRILLBILLY POWER!!!

DR. P: This is impossible!

Hoss lifts Nate with his free arm.

TILL: DIXIE DRIVAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!

DR. P: NO!

TILL: COVER HIM HOSS! COVER HIM!

Hoss flops on top of Nate, still clutching his left arm.

1…

2…

3!

WINNERS: (and still MBE Tag Team Champions): THE THRILLBILLIES

DR. P: This is not happening.

Jimmy and Jake storm out from the back to celebrate with Hoss. The Wednesday fans have to be restrained by security to keep from storming the ring, and start throwing full cups of beer at Nate.

TILL: The away side is not too happy there.

DR. P: Well, neither am I.

TILL: Then all is right with the world. Folks, we will crown a world champion…NEXT!


---

MAIN EVENT- MBE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: DOC SILVER v. JUSTIN EVITABLE

TILL: In the illustrious history of MBE, eleven men have had the Big Gold Belt adorn their waists. The finest this industry has to offer. From the Force of Nature to PILE to Hida Yakamo to Maggot and even to those bastards Promo and Freakfish. And tonight a twelfth man will lay claim to wrestling immortality.

A still shaken Yamada emerges from the back, carrying the new version of the MBE World Title. As the crowd rises to its feet in a standing ovation, Yamada hands the belt to senior referee Lance Thunder who shows it to the crowd and then hands it to the timekeeper.

TILL: These two men overcame grueling elimination matches to find their way here, to the main event of Total Elimination 2006. Perhaps not the odds-on favorites at the beginning, no one can doubt their skill and stamina now. Doc Silver and ‘The True Face’ Justin Evitable. Break it down for us, Doctor P.

DR. P: Doc Silver will destroy Justin Evitable. This is no contest. I can only hope Doc doesn’t get too distracted planning his celebratory party and forget to pin Justin before we run out of airtime.

TILL: Hard-hitting analysis as usual, you unrepentant jackass.

DR. P: Hey somebody predicted Doc would be here. I don’t think his name is Tillrules.

TILL: Yes, congratulations. Now let’s toss it up to Vinman before you drive me to drink.

DR. P: Last I heard you didn’t need any encouragement.

VINMAN: Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for our MAIN EVENT. It is scheduled for one fall with no time limit, and is for the Message Board Entertainment WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP. Your referee is senior MBE official Lance Thunder.

The lights go out in the arena. “Vicarious” begins to thump over the sound system. An explosion of multi-color fireworks go off and a cloud of smoke pours out of the entrance way. Then, ‘The True Face’ Justin Evitable explodes through the curtain to a thunderous ovation. He points to several fans, giving them the thumbs up, before calling out the rest of his retinue. Yori, ROBOYORI, Smitty, The Hobo who may or may not be God, and Riki Yakamo all emerge from the back. Justin makes a quick count, and seems to think someone is missing. He yells back for one more and THE ASIAN WONDER emerges from the back in an HHA t-shirt to a raucous ovation.

TILL: It’s Hida Yakamo! And he’s coming out to support his old tag partner.

DR. P: Really now, where did he find that t-shirt? I didn’t think Hida stooped to shop at the Salvation Army.

Hida and Justin hi-five and the motley crew make their way to ringside.

TILL: Justin may be the most unlikely of title contenders, an afterthought when this tournament started, he now stands on the cusp of one of the greatest stories in wrestling history.

DR. P: But standing in his way is a legend, a wrestling godhead, a fellow Doctor and a close personal friend of mine. Not to mention the next MBE World Heavyweight Champion.

Justin begins to limber up in the ring as his cabal file down to ringside. Hida and Yori give The True Face a few parting words of advice and then join the extended family and sex robot at ringside.

The music changes to “Only Happy When it Rains” and the Pavlovian boos begin in anticipation of the arrival of Doc Silver.

DR. P: This crowd wouldn’t know true talent if it walked up to them and peed on their leg, as I hear you are prone to doing during your alcoholic benders.

TILL: Seriously, that is quite enough out of you, Phantasmo.

Doc emerges, with Dority and Greenie on each side. Dority has the ‘Severed Head of ROBOYORI’ in a bag slung over his shoulder.

Doc also points to a few fans in the crowd, but proceeds to show them a different finger than Justin.

TILL: Ah, Doc, a true man of the people.

Doc steps through the ropes and stares down Justin, then starts laughing and doing a few jumping jacks.

DR. P: Obviously Doc is worried Justin won’t make him work up much of a sweat.

TILL: Well, everyone that didn’t take Justin seriously is sitting in the back watching this match on the monitors, so Doc would do well not to make that mistake.

The house lights come up and Vinman introduces the competitors to the capacity crowd.

VINMAN: First, standing to my right, he hails from Boston, Massachusetts and weighs in at two hundred and twenty five pouns. He is a former MBE Extreme Champion, a former MBE Unified Champion, and a former MBE Tag Team Champion. He is the Rated ‘R’ Popstar and Every Parent’s Nightmare. And he is THE TRUE FACE OF MBE. This is JUSTIN EVITTTTTTTTTTTTABBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLEEEE!

The crowd applauds wildly as Justin climbs the turnbuckles and does some hip thrusting, much to the ladies’ delight.

VINMAN: And his opponent, standing to my left. He currently resides in Las Vegas, Nevada. He stands six feet tall and tips the scales at two hundred and twenty pounds of ego and derision. He is a former AAWC World Champion, a former WFW World Champion and a former Ultratitle Champion. Tonight he seeks to add the MBE World Heavyweight Championship to his trophy case. He is DOCCCCCCCCCC SILLLLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVVVER!

The crowd boos lustily as Dority and Greenie tell them all to go to hell. Doc just stares down Justin, smiling the whole time. The boos turn to murmurs of anticipation as the house lights go back down and Vinman exits the ring. Lance Thunder gives final instructions to both wrestlers and then calls for the bell.

TILL: HERE WE GO!

The two circle each other cautiously. They fiddle with a knucklelock, but neither man wants to commit. Justin throws a leg kick as they part, but Doc moves out of the way.

TILL: You can cut the tension with a knife.

Justin slips in and tries to grab a leg, but Doc backs off and leans against the ropes. They circle some more and finally lock up. It’s quickly broken before they can start to jostle, and the two back off again. The crowd begins to clap faster and faster, stomping their feet, and finally the two lock up. Justin’s reach and size advantage allows him to bull Doc into the corner. Lance orders a break. Justin waits till Lance gets to three then slowly breaks and backs off from Doc in the corner. He mimes some doggy style sex and encourages Doc to bring it.

Collar and elbow tie-up again. More violent than before. The two bounce around on the rope, jockeying for position. This time it is Justin who ends up pinned in the corner. Ref Thunder calls for a break again, Doc is less forthcoming, and Lance has to physically separate them, Doc takes a swing as they part and Justin fires back. Lance pushes them apart as Doc and Justin exchange some heated words.

They try and lock up again, but neither wants to fully commit. They end up in a knucklelock and Doc steps in to sweep Justin’s inside leg. Justin ends up on his back

1…

Justin gets a shoulder up.

Doc forces it back down.

1…

Justin’s other shoulder comes up.

Doc forces it back down.

1…

2…

Justin bridges up onto his head.

Doc pops up and tries to drop both knees onto Justin’s chest, but The True Face won’t budge.

TILL: Impressive show of strength from Justin.

Doc pulls Justin up to his feet and the True Face leaps up for a DDT. Doc blocks it and carries Justin over to the turnbuckle. He sits Justin up top and then slaps Justin across the face. The crowd oohs and Justin slaps back, then grabs Doc’s hair and slams him to the mat.

TILL: Justin is not going to play Doc’s mindgames.

DR. P: That’s a good strategy, since his half a brain probably won’t let him keep up.

Justin leaps off the top rope and over a ducking Doc Silver. He lands on his feet and catches a confused Doc with a standing dropkick as the crowd applauds. Doc angrily charges right into a huricanrana. Justin reaches back for a leg.

1…

2…

Doc kicks out.

TILL: Well, that was almost the second shortest World Title match on record. Doc should be more careful.

Justin drops some axe handles as Doc tries to get back up. He whips Doc off the ropes and hits a running leg lariat. A knee drop and the True Face covers again

1…

2…

Doc is quickly out as the ref’s hand comes back up.

Doc barely has time to catch his breath before Justin locks on a buffalo sleeper.

TILL: The crowd is already chanting for Doc to tap. That might be a bit optimistic, though I appreciate the sentiment.

Doc slinks over to the ropes to force a break. He rolls out for a breather and talks strategy with his associates. The ref starts his count. This annoys Doc, who argues with the ref till about seven, and then rolls back in.

Justin is on him quickly with a sliding dropkick.

DR. P: Okay, so maybe Doc took Justin a little lightly. It’s Justin Evitable!

TILL: Perhaps the next MBE World Heavyweight Champion.

DR. P: Ugh, do not defile my ears with such blasphemy.

Justin whips Doc into the corner and tries to follow with a jumping knee. Doc moves out of the way and Justin crashes into the turnbuckle.

DR. P: See, Doc was just lulling Justin into a false sense of security. He truly is a MENSA level wrestling genius.

Doc quickly goes after Justin’s knee, having already been through a war with Duchess at WNW. He drops some elbows across the kneecap and torques the knee around his waist as Justin tries to free himself with some crossfaces. Doc tenaciously holds on, though, and finally, the True Face is forced to the ropes for a break.

DR. P: Justin should have done a better job protecting his already sore knee and not gone for such a high risk and low reward move.

TILL: I dunno, I think caving in Doc’s skull is a pretty good reward.

Justin deftly avoids a single leg from Doc and drops an elbow across the back of his Silver’s head. A second follows as Justin tries to keep Silver on the ground and away from his leg. Justin rolls behind Silver and grabs a waistlock as Doc makes it back to his feet. He tries for a German, but Doc blocks and reaches down for Justin’s leg, pulling the True Face’s leg out from under him. He tries to hook Justin into a reverse figure four, but Justin kicks him off and into the ropes. Doc flies back into a monkey flip from Justin and flies high before hitting the mat. Justin rolls to his feet shakes out his leg and hits a hyooge springboard DDT as Doc rises. He covers.

1…

2…

Doc kicks out.

TILL: Justin can turn the tide with one big move like that.

Justin corrals Doc back to his feet and whips him into the turnbuckle. A spear in the corner follows as Doc is doubled over. Justin double stomps onto Doc’s back, and the cagey veteran is splayed out on the mat. Justin fires up the crowd before heading up top.

TILL: Justin heading up to the penthouse district.

DR. P: They don’t allow hoboes up there, Evitable, just so ya know.

Justin leaps off for what looks like another DDT, but ends up eating a superkick from Doc Silver.

DR. P: Doc Silver is simply too wily!

Doc flops on top for a cover.

1…

2…

Justin kicks out.

Doc quickly drags Justin into the center of the ring and drop a leg across Justin’s gimpy knee. From there, he wraps Justin up in a convoluted leg lock that has the True Face screaming for mercy. The ref asks him if he wants to quit, but Justin refuses. He finally rolls himself into the ropes to force a break, but the hold has obviously took its toll. Doc adds some stomps to the knee as Justin tries to regain his balance as his seconds look on with concern. Doc pulls Justin to his feet and deposits the True Face in the center of the ring with a suplex. He floats over into a cover.

1…

2…

Justin kicks out.

Doc quickly grabs Justin’s hurt leg and pulls him into a kneebar as Justin scrambles for the ropes once more.

TILL: Doc has taken a single-minded approach towards crippling Justin.

DR. P: Hey, if he can’t walk. He can’t hip thrust, or, one would guess, wrestle.

The True Face makes the ropes again, but this time rolls to the outside where Yori pulls down his kneepad and Yori applies some cold spray. Doc orders them away from Justin, but Hida and his cricket bat stand between the two. Justin gingerly reenters the ring before the ref gets to ten.

Back in the ring and Doc goes after Justin’s leg again with a dragon screw leg whip. He goes for his reverse figure four again, but again Justin kicks him off. Doc holds onto the ropes this time and when Justin raises his legs for the monkey flip, Doc dropkicks the backs of his knees.

TILL: Heads up move by Silver.

DR. P: I would expect nothing less from our next champion.

Doc waits for Justin to get to his feet and goes for the Ace’s Full Stunner. But Justin catches his foot on the kick to the gut, and spins Doc around, as Doc comes about face. Justin unleashes the Skeetboard. His foot cracks against Doc’s skull, and the cagey veteran drops to the mat as Justin clutches at his leg.

TILL: Using his wounded leg to batter his opponent like a club. That’s the kind of stuff ya gotta love.

Justin pulls himself up by the ropes as Doc gathers his wits. Justin charges and eats an inverted atomic drop. Doc grabs the leg for another Dragon Screw, but Justin fires off an enzuigiri first and Doc flops face first to the mat.

TILL: I am amazed Doc made it this long without bleeding…oops nevermind. Here it comes.

Justin rolls over and covers Doc as the crimson mask begins to form.

1…

2…

Doc kicks out.

Justin whips Doc off the ropes. Doc ducks an elbow strike and turns for his superkick. Justin ducks, but Doc was only feinting it. He hooks Justin for a DDT, but The True Face is one step ahead of him and slams Doc over his head in a Northern Lights Suplex. He holds the bridge with one leg.

1…

2…

DR. P: No! Justin can’t maintain the bridge and Doc is out at two!

Justin pulls Doc towards the turnbuckles. He hops up top and looks for a Tornado DDT. Doc tosses him off though and Justin winces as he lands on his bad leg. That momentary hesitation allows Doc to double over Justin with a kick to the midsection and deliver his Ace’s Full Stunner. He covers

1…

2…

Justin kicks out.

Doc wastes no time looking for THE RIVER.

DR. P: As any good cardplayer knows, you live or die on the River. Here’s hoping for a bad beat for the True Face.

TILL: Wow, those poker metaphors aren’t forced at all there, Doc P.

Doc gets Justin up, but the True Face fights free, flinging elbows left and right. He reaches back and delivers a neckbreaker.

TILL: Now both men are down. Ref Thunder is checking them, and now he is starting his ten count.

1…

2…

3…

Justin stirs…

4…

As does Doc…

5…

Justin pulls himself up along the ropes

6…

Doc rolls to his feet

7…

As does Justin.

Doc is on Justin quick in the corner, peppering the True Face with body blows. Justin takes the worst of it at first, but soon fires back with wicked short elbows to the head of Doc. Doc staggers back out of the corner and eats a spear from The Rated ‘R’ Popstar. Justin signals for The AFTERPARTY. Justin gets Doc up, but his knee gives out and Doc lands on top. Doc doesn’t even bother going for a pin, instead he grabs Justin’s legs and ties him up in a reverse figure four.

DR. P: It’s cinched in good. Justin is done for!

Justin screams in agony, and the ropes seem miles away. He claws his way towards the ropes, but Doc keeps pulling him back.

TILL: Justin needs to be careful here, with all the abuse his leg has taken this week. He could be risking serious injury.

DR. P: Well he should just tap out now and get it over with, then.

TILL: I don’t think he could look himself in the mirror if he lost the MBE World Championship that way.

Justin has nowhere to go. Yori is up on the apron now asking Justin is he should throw in the towel. Justin screams for him not to. Never one to pass up an opportunity, Greenie and Dority sneak around and try to toss Yori and the towel into the ring, but a swing from Yakamocito backs them off.

TILL: This one is gonna be settled in the ring between these two titans of the sport.

Justin summons his last bit of strength and rolls Doc over as the crowd explodes, another roll takes them both into the ropes. The ref untangles the legs and a bloody Doc Silver screams at Justin, calling him a fool. He picks Justin up but finds himself caught in an inside cradle.

1…

2…

2.9!

DR. P: Doc escapes! Doc escapes!

TILL: Folks we nearly saw this match end right there.

DR. P: Nearly being the operative word.

Doc is up in a flash and drops a flurry of elbows on Justin, trying to keep him down. Eight in all land across The True Face’s chest. After the last, Doc covers.

1…

2…

Justin kicks out.

Doc pulls Justin to his feet. Justin throws some Euro uppercuts, but there is not much on them and he is quickly slapped back down with an elbow from Doc. Bridging German Suplex from Silver!

1…

2…

Justin gets a shoulder up.

TILL: Justin still has some fight in him left.

DR. P: Merely a formality now. Make preparations for the coronation of Doc Silver.

Doc signals for THE RIVER once more. He moves Justin into position, but as he hoists The True Face onto his back, the former Unified champ rolls up and over and lands a picture perfect DDT as Doc bounces off the canvas! The crowd explodes into a Justin chant.

DR. P: Where in the HECK did that come from.

TILL: Heart and guts, Doctor P. Two things you know nothing about.

Justin shakes off the cobwebs and sets Doc for THE AFTERPARTY.

TILL: Up….AND DOWN GOES DOC!

DR. P: NO!

Doc’s head caroms of the canvas again. Justin clutches his knee in pain, but hooks aleg and leans back in the pin.

TILL: FOLKS WE ARE ABOUT TO HAVE A NEW CHAMPION

1…

2…

2.9!

TILL: HOW DID HE DO IT. DOC KICKS OUT! DOC KICKS OUT!

DR. P: There was never a doubt in my mind. Doc is a warrior. You can’t pin Doc Silver. You can only make him bleed. Profusely.

Indeed, Doc’s face is covered in plasma, but he is still in the match. Justin is not sure what to do. Hida shouts to him to go for The Face Turn.

TILL: Hida wants Justin to deliver his version of The Burning Hammer. Haven’t seen him use that in years.

Justin nods and sets Silver on the top rope. He gingerly lifts Doc onto his back and walks out from the corner. He wobbles some but has Doc in position. He tries to get Doc over, but the pain in his leg is too much and Doc slips free.

DR. P: SUPERKICK! Justin is down!

Doc too collapses on the mat, forcing Lance Thunder to start his standing ten count.

1…

2…

3…

4…

5…

Doc rolls to his stomach.

6…

Justin rolls to the ropes.

7…

Doc is up to one knee

Justin is in the ropes.

8…

Doc is up.

9…

JUSTIN IS UP!

Justin is on his feet, but barely self-aware as he quickly walks into ANOTHER superkick and tumbles to mat like an oak tree cut down. Doc wastes no time and delivers THE RIVER!

DR. P: YES! YES! YES! The Ballad of Plucky Little Justin Evitable ends here.

Doc covers.

1…

2…

2.9!

The crowd explodes.

TILL: JUSTIN GOT A SHOULDER UP! HOW DID HE DO IT!

DR. P: IT’S NOT POSSIBLE! Do it again Doc!

Doc has the same idea and quickly tries for a second River. Justin twists around though and hits his version of the Whippersnapper!

TILL: VMA! VMA! Justin is moving on pure instinct!

Hida and Yori are in apoplexy, shouting for Justin to finish him off as they lead the crowd in a “Justin” chant.

Justin points to the top turnbuckle and drags Doc up with him. He sets Doc Silver for a TOP ROPE AFTERPARTY!

TILL: MY WORD! This is sheer insanity!

DR. P: Frankly, I just can’t disagree with you there, Till.
Justin gets Doc up for the Rikishi Driver, but Doc wraps his legs around the turnbuckle to block. He holds on for dear life as the two feebily strike at each other, trying to get the other to budge.

TILL: A precarious position, to be sure.

Doc wriggles free behind Justin. He caves the back of Justin’s head in with a series of elbows. As Justin fires some back elbows of his own. They both strike at each other full bore as the crowd reaches a fevered pitch.

TILL: What can these two men possibly have left?

Doc adds some headbutts, jarring Justin from his senses. The True Face slumps over against the ropes. Doc slowly turns around and heaves Justin onto his back.

TILL: OH NO!

DR. P: OH YES! TOP ROPE RIVERRRRRRRRRRRRR!

A blinding multitude of flashbulbs go off as Justin and Doc plummet to the Mat. Justin bounces knees first and his head snaps back against Doc’s shoulder, before the laws of Phsysics kick in and the True Face lands face first on the canvas. Doc looks up at the lights for only a moment before rolling Justin over, hooking both legs and making the cover. There is dead silence in the arena.

1…

2…

3!

The crowd boos, but only half-heartedly. Phantasmo and Tillrules scream at each other over their headsets, but there is only one voice that matters now.

VINMAN: Your winner…..AND NEW MBE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION….DOCCCCCCCC SILLLLLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVEERRRRRRR!

Dority and Greenie prop up Doc as he is awarded the world title from the ref. Doc begins to cry, bloody, bloody tears all over his newfound title. The Yakamo clan check on Justin and spray down his knee some more.

TILL: Folks, what a match. Say what you will about that bastard Doc Silver, but he earned the world title tonight. A true war.

DR. P: As usual, my powers of prediction are peerless.

TILL: And I can’t say enough about Justin Evitable. He gave Doc all he could handle and more. There is no shame in his defeat tonight.

DR. P: There we can finally agree, Till. There is no shame in losing to Doc Silver.

TILL: Folks we will see you on Wednesday Night. This has been TOTAL ELIMINATION. Thanks for tuning in!

The final images of the PPV broadcast are of a smiling and bloody Doc Silver standing on the rampway, title aloft.