View Full Version : [SSIV] TEAM Challenge Championship Lumberjack Match: Ravager (c) vs. Shawn Hart

04-29-07, 07:35 PM
Ravager shocked the world and became the first ever Challenge Champion. His first defense is no cake-walk as he takes on 2007 TiT semifinalist Shawn Hart in a "Bring a Friend" Lumberjack match. There will be 12 lumberjacks at ringside; 10 picked by TEAM offices and one picked by each competitor in the match apiece. Who will each wrestler pick, and will the move pay off or backfire right in their faces?


Whereas the match at SuperShow III detailed each competitor's struggles against their rivals, this match will feature interactions of a more friendly nature. Your RP this week shall detail your character trying to recruit his hand-picked lumberjack for the match. There's a catch though; their choice/choices don't want to do it. Detail how your character wins over your lumberjack and gets him/her to agree to the task. You have one RP to do it, and as always, you need permission to use other people's characters. If you can't get that permission, let me know and I'll lend you either Maggot or Jericoholic Anonymous for your RP.

No time limit, one fall to a finish. There is an RP limit of one. All regular rules apply. Both RPs posted... this match is in decision time now!

05-08-07, 04:01 PM
OOC Note: The following takes place BEFORE The REBEL Pro Show of May 8th, 2007.


Backstage in Raleigh,North Carolina. REBEL Champion/ NAPW Commissioner Rex Caliber is in the middle of a conversation with Simply Beautiful. The conversation is interrupted by the NAPW champion, as well as the TEAM Challenge Champion, Ravager.

Ravager: Just the man I was looking for!

Caliber: Can this wait? I have some business I need to go over...

Ravager: It really can't. I have a belt to defend and I need some help.

Caliber: Can't get the job done one on one?

Ravager: I have to defend the Challenge championship in a lumberjack match. I get to hand pick one wrestler to be in my corner...

Caliber: And of course you seek out Sexy Rexy. You have a lot of nerve. Not just because of our past. But I'm the NAPW commissioner. If I show favoritism to you, how will it look to the rest of the boys in the back? Sure, you're my NAPW champion, but that doesn't mean you're any more or less valuable to the company. I'll have to turn you down.

Ravager: I was actually going to ask Simply Beautiful.

SB: Really? Sure man, if it helps out NAPW, I'll be glad to stand in your corner.

Ravager: Great, I'll arrange for a plane ticket...

Caliber: Um, I have one small problem.

Ravager: I didn't hurt your feelings, did I?

Caliber: My problem is both the participants for the main event of the NAPW/REBEL Supershow being in Las Vegas risking life and limb. I have ticket sales to think about. I can't risk losing both of you guys. Find someone else, Bob.

Ravager glares.

Ravager: (To SB) Thanks anyways. (To Rex) And don't worry about me, Rex. I'm sure any number of wrestlers will be happy to stand by my side.

Cut to a few hours later. Ravager sits dumbstruck as Bruce "The Beast" Richards stands in front of him, going over a bunch of charts.

Richards: I think that pie chart pretty much sums up my feelings on the matter. No. I will not be joining you in Las Vegas.

Ravager: How did you prepare all these charts in such a short time? I only called you half an hour ago!

Richards: I think my motivation can be summed up by this one. (Flips a chart; Ravager reads it.)

Ravager: "Because I genuinely dislike you and would try to KEEP you out of the ring if you got thrown out." That's not a chart, that's just a note on a piece of paper.

Richards: But it gets my point across.

Ravager rolls his eyes.

Cut to an hour later. Ravager with the Bluegrass Mafia: Chad and Matthew Kurtis, along with Lyndsey Valentine.

Ravager: Of course I'd be more than happy to have all three of you in my corner, but I'm only allowed to pick one of you.

M. Kurtis: Well, you didn't give us a chance to answer. We have a tag title shot coming up really soon. We were told not to risk any type of injury. Sorry. Normally we'd be right in there.

Valentine: You have to understand how important it is to make the most of any title shot you get.

Ravager: I do. It's just..

C. Kurtis: Hey, don't worry about it. I'm sure someone will accept. Who wouldn't want to go to Vegas?

Cut to Ravager with Mike "The Assman" Trey.

Assman: Sorry.

Cut to Ravager with Stone Zellor.

Zellor: Have we ever even talked before? And now you're asking me to come to Vegas to help you out?

Ravager: I figured a former tag champ would love the opportunity for some added exposure...

Zellor: I got a Provincial title shot in a week. Once I win that, I'll have all the exposure I need. So no. But hey, who wouldn't want a trip to Vegas?

Ravager: (rolling his eyes) Yeah, who wouldn't?

Cut to Ravager shaking hands with Dio Muerte. Ravager looks happy as he walks off. Dio sips his Arizona, and is then jumped by The Foundation: Thomas Young and Prince Darko.

Ravager: Oh come on!

Ravager races over to help out. Cut to later. Ravager in his hotel room, talking on the phone.

Ravager: So yeah, there were no injuries, but it did cost me my lumberjack. But Dio was nice about it. He even said "Hey, who would turn down a trip to Vegas?" (Ravager rolls his eyes) Aside from EVERYONE? I tell you...

There is a knock at the door.

Ravager: I'll call you back.

Ravager hangs up the phone. He goes to the door and opens it. Nobody is there, except for an envelope. Ravager takes it inside, closes the door, then opens the envelope. There is a disc inside. He puts it into his laptop, and sees the following video:

START: establishing shot of a wooded area. It is early morning. The sound of of birds chirping is prominent.

Cut: A tiny figure in a plaid shirt covering a black and yellow striped costume, walking through the woods, carrying an oversized axe.

Narrator: The Bee begins his training early in the day.

Cut to the Bee and Nenji (also in lumberjack attire) walking through the woods. They stop at one tree, but notice a heart carved in it with the initials D + L carved into it. They shake their heads. They come to another tree, where a family of owls make their nest. Again Bee and Nenji shake their heads.

Narrator: They treat their lumberjack training the same way they treat wrestling: Pick your spots, and know when to make your move.

Cut to the Bee and Nenji, having finally found the right tree.

Narrator: After much searching, they have finally found the redwood they wish to bring to the ground.

Cut to Nenji's watch, which starts to beep.

Narrator: But before any chopping can be done, they first have lunch.

Cut to Bee, eating a sandwich, while Nenji has a powerbar.

Narrator: Once they have sustenance, they can begin the task of chopping.

Cut to the Bee trying to swing his too large axe. He finally gets a good swing, but nearly clips Nenji doing so.

Narrator: But after much reflection, they realize that they have no right to harm any creature in this environment. It is not the trees that need to be taken down, but other lumberjacks, who rush in and fell these mighty oaks and redwoods.

Cut to a lumberjack running through the forest, the Bee having climbed on his back, chomping at his ears.

Narrator: And it is this desire to fight other lumberjacks that the Bee hopes to bring to the TEAM Challenge match in Las Vegas.

This has been Ian Griffin-Stewart, your narrator.

The video cuts out. There is another knock at the door. Ravager answers it. The Bee and Nenji stand there. They are dressed as lumberjacks. They have huge, expectant smiles on their faces.


Ravager:I'll let you know.

Ravager closes the door.

Cut to later. Ravager and Lloyd Rees.

Rees: I can't believe you even asked me.

Ravager: Well, to be honest I thought this was The Celtic Assassins dressing room.

Rees: So you're asking me was...

Ravager: Just me trying to avoid embarrassment. Didn't work.

Rees: Did you expect it to?

Ravager: No. No I didn't. But the way this day has gone? I thought I might as well try.

Long Awkward pause.

Rees: So are we going to fight, b'y?

Ravager: Probably wouldn't solve anything.

Rees: No.

Another long awkward pause. Ravager coughs. Rees just looks around. After what seems like an eternity, Ravager leaves just as Rees turns around and closes his door.

Cut to later. A shot of Ravager, framed by a doorway.

Ravager: So will you let me have a few minutes to make my case?

Cut to an angry looking Bruce Richards, standing at the door.

Richards: I thought I made mine pretty clear.

Ravager: You don't like me. I get that. I've always gotten that. But this isn't about me. Sure, I'm defending a title, but with every successful defense, I give more prestige to NAPW. More exposure. More positive press. More proof that we have some of the best wrestlers on the planet. Just like when D-X wrestled in the Dupree Cup. Or for MCW. Or when you went to A1. Or Rebel. You know what's good for the company.

Richards: I'm not convinced that YOU are what's best for the NAPW.

Ravager: Look at it this way. Who in the NAPW can say they've stuck with it since the very beginning? You and me. Everybody else is gone, whether to Rebel or anywhere else, we are the only two who have made the long term commitment to this company.


Richards: You're not going to screw me over, are you?

Ravager: Only if you don't screw ME over.

Another pause. Beast sighs.

Richards: I'll do this because I want what's best for NAPW. Like it or not, you holding that belt is good for us. For now. But you better not..

Ravager: You have my word, if that means anything.

Richards: Just let me know when it's time to leave.

Richards closes the door on Ravager. Ravager smirks and walks off. We see The Dudes, Mike Johnston and Cameron Scott standing in the background. They are dressed in Lumberjack garb. And they have seen the exchange with Bruce and Ravager. They look disappointed for a second, but then they perk up.

Scott: Hey, he wouldn't have felt right having to pick and choose anyways!

Johnston: Yeah! Good point!

The Dudes walk off as we fade to black.

Thanks to all the NAPW and REBEL handlers who graciously allowed me to use their characters.

05-08-07, 05:49 PM
This promo does exist, dammit!

05-08-07, 11:30 PM
FADE IN: Shawn Jessica Hart, with his stepsister Felicia at his side, stands before us in a sweet purple suit and a matching top hat. Draped over his shoulder is the Empire Pro TV title... Covering his face? The look of a BAD-ASS!

HART: "I'm such a freaking bad-ass!"

Felicia blinks. Twice.

FELICIA: "That thing you were writing earlier says otherwise..."

CUT TO: Earlier in the evening; SJH is sitting at a desk and hand-writing a letter.

HART (V/O): "Dear... Lindsay... You probably... don't.... remember me... but I just.... wanted you... to know.... that I would very much like.... to go steady with you...."

He puts his pen to his lips in a moment of pondering.

HART (V/O): "You might be.... unaware... but... we..... are working.... for the same.... company.... as I write this.... and if you'll just.... think back.... a few.... years.... you might.... recall.... that we've wrestled.... a few times..... before. I realize.... you probably get..... hundreds of letters..... from fan-boys.... like me.... ....but I just had to tell you..... that when you picked me up.... for that scoop slam.... and slightly.... grazed.... my buttocks... I knew.... from that moment forward..... that you..... were the girl.... for me..."

He pauses for a quick daydream. As he looks pensively toward the ceiling, he begins to blush. CUT TO: Real time. The Phenom is scoffing at Felicia.

HART: "Pssssssshhh!! It wasn't even like that! Nah, sis... I think it went something more like..."

CUT TO: SJH penning the letter. Only this time he is inexplicably wearing a Viking helm and a Dracula cape.

HART (V/O): "Yo Lindz... what up? It's your future.... baby..... daddy.... and I was just writing you.... to let you know.... that I'm gonna F U.... in the..."


CUT TO: Felicia rolling her eyes.

FELICIA: "It wasn't at all like that! I'm almost certain it was more like..."

CUT TO: Hart nervously moving his pen across the paper.

HART (V/O): "I... like.... to talk.... a big... game.... but really... I'm just.... a little.... schoolboy... in need.... of a sexy.... school.... teacher.... to punish me..... and make me.... teacher's pet.... I realize.... such a romance..... is unorthodox.... but please know.... that my.... all-consuming... admiration.... for your loveliness.... is sincere.... I am.... but your subject.... and you.... are my... Amazon.... Queen.... I would very much.... like.... to hold.... your hand.... and.... stay home.... and care.... for our future.... children..... while you.... bring home.... the bacon.... Please respond.... A-S-A-P.... Love.... always..... .......Shawn!"

CUT TO: SJH looking rather unimpressed by Felicia's account of the events in question.

HART: "So that's what I wrote, huh?"

FELICIA: "Yyyyyyyep."


The Prime Minister of Gettin' Sinister sneers at his sister.

FELICIA: "I got a tape of the whole thing right here..."

Felicia produces said tape. Shawn's sneering is ceased in nanosecond.

HART: "I hate you."

FELICIA: "You love me. I mean, I'm your sister... how could you not! Ravager's the one you hate!"

HART: "Ravager.... pfffffffttt! More like CABBAGER!!"

FELICIA: "How's that?"

HART: "Because he lives on a diet of leafy green veggies and nutrient-rich fruits! How ELSE do you think he manages to win those titles?"

FELICIA: "Wait, you're saying all it takes to win matches is the steady consumption of-"

HART: "NAY! That's what HE thinks, but I know better. I know that, in addition to a healthy diet, a guy needs a l'il somethin' extra to reach the highest plateaus of the wrestling industry. That joie de vivre; a certain...je ne sais quois. A little bit of..."

FELICIA: "Talent?"

Hart shakes his head.

HART: "I-maaaaaaa-gi-naaaation!"

FELICIA: "Come again?"

Dramatic pause.

HART: "I-maaaaaaa-gi-naaaation!"

Felicia is utterly flummoxed.

FELICIA: "Imagination? What the heck are you talking about?!"

Suddenly, a music box begins to chime - scaring the bejesus out of the Phenom's female counterpart.

HART: "Hold your breath... Make a wish... Count to three...."

FELICIA: "Ummmm.... OK?"

Shawn begins to sing.

HART: "Come with me... and you'll be... in a woooooooooooorld of pure imagina-tion..."

FELICIA: "Uhhhh..."

HART: "Take a look... and you'll see.... into yoooooooooooour imagination..."

Felicia comes to a sudden realization - one that brings a smile to her face.

FELICIA: "We'll begin... with a spin?"

In a moment most tender, Shawn nods his head with a grin.

HART: "Traaaaaveling in the world of my creation! What we'll see... will defy..."



The younger Hart is overcome by the power of her brother's pipes.

FELICIA: "Whoa Nellie!"

HART: "You bet'cher booty."

Felicia comes to another sudden realization.

FELICIA: "But wait... should brothers and sisters really be spinning together?"

HART: "Blood is bad, STEP is HEP!"

FELICIA: "I'm sorry?"

Hart deftly recovers!

HART: "Oh, ummm.... NOTHING!!! Everything is gravy, baby! Nice weather we're having today, mmmm?"

FELICIA: "Right, well... geeetting back to business, you think that imagination of yours can dream us up a victory?"

HART: "You KNOW it will, Number One!"

FELICIA: "Make it so."

HART: "Phasers set to FUN!"

In another tender moment, the Hart tandem looks into each other's eyes and burst out into a fit of laughter.

FELICIA: "Oh man! We're so totally awesome, right?"

HART: "I know!"

FELICIA: "And you're TOTALLY gonna be the TEAM Challenge Champion!"


FELICIA: "So who's gonna be the 'Jack to watch your back?"

HART: "Well, let's just say that I'm gonna be going with a Lumber JILL this time 'round the clock."

SJH winks. Felicia blushes.

FELICIA: "Awww... you don't mean..."


FELICIA: "Such a sweet guy."

HART: "I know, right? And that's why there ain't no way in HELL that luscious Lindsay Troy's gonna turn down this invite!"

Felicia does a double take.

FELICIA: "Say wha?"

HART: "At long last, I can be her own, private whipping boy... in our own, private Idaho."



The Phenom is stunned.

HART: "Wha'd ya do THAT for?!"

Disgust prevails within the damaged psyche of Felicia.

FELICIA: "Ummm... HELLO?! Supporting sister over here!"

HART: "I know... I KNOW! But society frowns upon such unions. Tell you what though... if the Queenie rejects my weenie, consider yourself BOOKED!"

FELICIA: "Well, I don't really know what that means... or exactly what you're inferring, but I know how you get when you've set your mind to something, so I guess that will have to do."

HART: "You're the best, sis!"

FELICIA: "No, YOU'RE the best! Or at least you better be if you want to take home that title."

HART: "Hmmm, good point. Let's see how our special celebrity guest feels about it."

Four-time Emmy Award-winning game show host Alex Trebek arrives on the scene.

TREBEK: "He'll beat Ravager so mercilessly that the shame brought about by said beating will flow from his anus like the waters of the mighty Mississippi..."

SJH and Felicia both begin to jump up and down whilst raising their hands.

TREBEK: "Shawn!"

Felicia shakes her head in disappointment. The Phenom stops to think for a quick second, then responds.

HART: "Who is the Muff Daddy, Shawn Hart?"

TREBEK: "Correct!"

HART: "I win!!!!"

Trebek leaves to collect his check for $85. Hart, meanwhile, tosses his top hot and breaks out into song once again.

HART: "Chim-chiminey, chim-chiminey, chim-chim-chireee... The Cabbager's RAVAGED and RAVAGED HE BEEEEEEE!!!"

FELICIA: "So I guess what you're trying to say is you've got a little bit of confidence going into this thing, huh?"

HART: "It's like this- I'm the hottest thing to hit this biz since Stacy Keibler's cantelopes, and regardless of how many melons the Cabbager consumes, the steak n' eggs of the situation is that when we're in that ring... all the 'Jacks in the world ain't gonna keep him from gettin' JACKED UP! Call it an outrage, call it a mockery, call it the King KILLAH Shawn Hart streakin' like Ken Jennings through each and every JACKHOLE to meet him in Jeopardy if ya want. You know what I call it?"

FELICIA: "The truth!"

HART: "You got it, girl! And the truth of the matter is that whether it be my sweet baby Lindz or my sweet baby sis watching my back, SOMEBODY'S got a front-row seat for a beat down of epic proportions!"

FELICIA: "Look out, Ravager..."



05-08-07, 11:32 PM
Update You Swine!!!!!!!