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View Full Version : [SSIV] Beast vs. Kin Hiroshi vs. Fred "The Poet" Cook



TH
04-29-07, 07:22 PM
Hiroshi wants revenge on Beast for the underhanded defeat he suffered to the A1E superstar at SuperShow III. Cook wants back at Beast for the loss in the TEAM Invitational Tournament. Beast wants back at Hiroshi for those horrible muffins. It's a heat-stravaganza!

No time limit, one fall to a finish. There is no RP limit. All regular rules apply. RP deadline is Thursday, May 10th at 11:59:59 PM, give or take a second.

SamLandry
05-09-07, 12:58 PM
In a sub shop somewhere in the Boston area—probably further north, Cape Ann most likely—Fred Cook, also known as The Poet, sits and waits. By the expression on his face, it looks like he ordered something delicious. Eggplant parmesan is definitely an option; I mean, how can you say no to something so God damned delicious as that? Well, that is, unless you get yourself a cheese-steak, although I suppose all it is up in the north is just higher-quality grounded up hamburger—I refuse to believe that the shredded up **** they put in there is “steak”. All that, though, doesn’t really make a ****ing difference if you order yourself the perfect Italian (with extra hots, no doubt).

“Waiting for a sub. This is the life of the men around me. From all points of life, the people congregate here to do the same damn thing: wait for a sub. Naturally they’ll eat the sub once they receive it, but in order to receive something, you have to wait for it first.”

“NUMBER 8!”

“That’s me. Walk and talk, shall we?”

Fred Cook stands up and walks to the counter. Behind it there is a large man—your classic sub-man. Big gut, bigger face, and the biggest lips you’ve ever seen on something other than a fish. His cashier is manned by a woman you know would’ve made jaws drop if she wasn’t about twenty men too deep into her no-no area. That frizzled hair screams “I used to be a fox” to compliment those “I used to seduce movie stars” eyes that have grown shallow over time. Now, all she can do is yell out numbers, sub-slang and sweet nothings to men who can do a thousand times better than her.

“You see, I’ve decided to speak to TEAM in a sub shop in direct relation to my opponents, Kin Hiroshi and Beast. Both fine athletes, no? And, from the grapevine, the lord of word of mouth has let me in on a secret: both are very accomplished men. I mean, are they not stars in our world of wrestling?”

Fred drops a $10 on the counter which amply covers the fries, soda, pizza roll and chicken kabob sub coming from the kitchen. Nothing spectacular, but then again, I’m not really one for chicken kabobs. People seem to love them a lot.

“So I waited. The rookie mistake is to be the first to strike; do the vultures kill the pigs themselves? They way I figure, if these two men could strike at each other and allow someone with more…finesse in his verbal ways to come in and finish the deal, then the entire thing would be painless. Instead, though, you are killing your names.”

Fred sits down with his food and begins munching. With his first bite half the sub is gone; apparently Fred is more like a duck then we ever thought.

“Like a sub shop, waiting is deadly. The people need to be fed, as that is why they are flocking. Make your fans wait too long and, soon enough, they’ll be saying ‘Kin who? What’s a Beast?’ No matter how good your product is, humanity hates to wait. There may be some venues where the wait is worth it…”

Fred swallows a few fries and glee stretches across his face. Quickly he points to his food and flashes a thumbs up.

“…but Hiroshi and Beast couldn’t even come close to being confused with Troy, Ryan, or any other names you people revere. Tell me, why do you offer a product with a strong name behind it and then fail to deliver? We can rely on our monikers for only so long; like bones, they will fade to dust. Sure, Alexander the Great still lives in history, but do those in east still fear the name?”

A bite of the pizza roll, gone. Really, this looks like some ****ing great food.

“So, what makes me so great then? How come I have waited until the final hour to grab a pedestal and shout at the men and women who make a sea around me? Well, really, let’s be honest here: What do I have to lose?”

He takes a sip of soda. A little flat…disappointing.

“If I went early, there is your ammo to use against me. Only a fool would do such a thing. With my name lighter than a feather, Beast and Kin could pick me up on title alone and toss me away. But now, when the finish line is only yards away, what we call one another mean ****. At this point you have relinquished all veteran abilities and have made this into who can salvage second place. I’ll even announce it now: Beast and Kin have lost. Too many heads now stare the other way, disgraced that they once believed in you two. Tickets were bought for a fight that the two headliners should’ve made into a battle for the ages.”

Fred wipes his face with a napkin. While talking he had amassed a good layer of ketchup, pizza sauce, and Caesar dressing. Place rags on the man and you could throw him a penny or two with no qualms.

“Now it’s on me to allow them to know this match exists. No longer will I do the strategic move in favor for the necessary. I suppose, though, that it’ll be for the benefit. If a small timer called out my hero like I did now, I’d initially be pretty furious. But, with the right level of neglect, even the heroes can die.”

Fred gets up and walks out of the sub shop. On the table where he sat, smooshed between wax paper and crumpled napkins, is a piece of paper with writing. The camera zooms in to read…

“Where did they go,
The Gods I know?
Do they speak soft,
Or reap what they sow?”

SamLandry
05-09-07, 12:59 PM
edit: double post

DizzaHizza
05-09-07, 03:37 PM
KIN HIROSHI: "Ya' know, Cookie, if this were a battle of who can talk before the others, then you would be right: Beast and I lost. Oops, our bad, but this isn't about who can talk first, talk fastest, talk harshest or talk after all heads have turned deaf ears.

"Hell, Cookie, this is a wrasslin' match. Not a gab fest! If I wanted to hear people competing for airtime to verbally trash each other, I'd tune into the View. Yet, here I stand, firm in my convictions that by out-waiting one of you dim-wits, I could hop on up and point out how meaningless it is when you trash talk my...trash...talking...

** Hiroshi, glances around, making sure no one saw his Austin Powers-esque moment. A quick sigh, and he continues. **

KIN: "You were right, Cpt. Cook, in on aspect, admitting that you were making a rookie mistake by waiting for us to tear each other down. Son, we've been there and done that already, and we didn't sit around nancy-pantsing with WORDS. We took it to the ring, and let the last man able to get up walk away the victor: not the first man to draw blood with his venomous tongue.

"Damn, you're entire shoot on me was a 'rookie mistake,' Freddie! Talking about how MY name won't live up in the annals of our sport because I take my time to break out a microphone and tear into you. Let me give you a history lesson:

"Gilgamesh.

"Odysseus.

"Your, Alexander the Great.

"All these men are historical icons because of what they did; they all accomplished something greater than the common man. But these accomplishments were based on action, not words. Odysseus didn't make it home by talking his way there. Gilgamesh didn't slay Humbaba with a rhyme.

"See, that's the difference between us, Cook, you're all talk and I'm all action. Go ahead, let the fans turn their heads from The Muffin Man, because, if that's what they are doing right now, they're all going to get whiplash when they hear the beating you're receiving at my hands. You can't stand up to greatness, son, you can only hope to hide in my shadow while I scorch the earth with my blazing speed and superior ring ability.

"So, go ahead and tell yourself that 'waiting is deadly.' Buy into the hype that Beastie and I are just showing up for each other and neglecting our duties to you in this match. When it's all said and done, you will be the first to scurry your ass out of the ring and backstage to lick your wounds, Cookster, because you're appearance is going to be like getting copies at Kinkos:

"Done in 60 seconds, and you wish you had gotten more. Kind of like Beast's sex life, right?

"So, the long and short of it, kiddo, is don't worry about us ring veterans taking our time to start the verbal lambasting, but THAT beating is going to be the least of your problems come game time.

"Do you know the Muffin Man? I don't think so."


** FADE TO BLACK **

MarcusWestcott
05-09-07, 04:08 PM
Beast, in front of an TEAM backdrop.

Beast: Jesus Christ, Cook. Do you eat like that ALL the time? Man, eating truckloads of crap like that and sitting around all day at a desk pondering your latest prose is gonna make your ass bigger than a Texas white-trash double-wide.

Kinda like Hiroshi's muffins.

You get that stuff down your hole faster than Paris Hilton can get a d*ck into hers.

That's impressive.

But we had to wait all week for THAT? Yeah, I know I'm late, but with doing segments for both A1E and EPW, sitting in on A1E booking meetings, and trying to ressurect EPW from the grave that Dan Ryan and Anarky have put it into... man, all that, combined with trying to have somewhat of a social life has left me a little behind.

My apologies.

But for the love of God, Cook? Cutting a promo about sitting around and waiting? What's the matter? Run out of sh*tty poetry to write? Depressed that your last compilation book was like #2671 on the New York Times best seller list, and was in the bargain bin at Chapters faster than a David Hasselhoff CD?

"Waah, so I waited and waited, because if I spoke first, they'd have something to use against me! Waaah, they're just using their names to get ahead. WAAAAAAAH, MY ***** HURTS!"

Snap into reality, Poet - or at least a Slim Jim. It'll be better for you than those fries and roll.

But don't worry, Cook says. I speak gooder than those goofs, so I'll win.

Two words, Poet.

F*ck you.

Get your ass off your f*cking pedestal - if you can get it out of your ass crack, that is - and take a little bite of reality. It doesn't matter if I don't use 100 words to get the same point across as if I had used 10. Just because you've got more hot air in your lungs than the rest of us doesn't make you the better wrestler.

What you accomplish in that squared circle DOES.

And quite frankly, Freddy-boy, you haven't accomplished sh*t.

So, if you still feel like it, come on down to SuperShow IV. If you think I've been quiet, you just wait until the camera turns on, the lights go down, the music gets cranked up to 12 and the fans start chanting my name. Just wait until the Beast awakens inside that ring, and soon enough the quiet will be replaced by my snarls, growls, and roars as I tear you apart.
And my sounds will be eclipsed only by the sounds of you screaming in horror and agony as you realize you've gotten yourself WAY in over your head and your limbs are being torn from your body.

I've already beaten both of you. How fast did I beat you, Cook? Mere seconds? Hell, I beat you in less time than it takes Beau Michaels to stick his hand down his pants.

Now THAT'S impressive.

And Hiroshi? Well, last time out, you learned that no matter how many tantrums you throw, nor how many times you scream and yell and stomp and complain and piss and moan about someone DARING to not like your little muffins, you can't get the job done in the ring against the Alpha Male. Not only am I bigger and stronger, but I proved I was SMARTER than you.

The only way you're going to beat me is to put a batch of your sh*tty muffins around my feet for weights and drop me to the bottom of Lake Superior.

And Cook, PLEASE, in the name of all that is Holy...

Don't talk with your mouth full. You get goo all over your face that way.

Lindsay Troy learned that the hard way a LONG time ago.

Fade out.

DizzaHizza
05-09-07, 04:55 PM
KIN HIROSHI: "Beast, you're correct. You are bigger and you are stronger than me. There's no doubt about it, but to make the atrocious claim that you are SMARTER than me?!? How dare you?!? What, in our recent history has shown that you're smarter than me?

"The fact that you reiterated everything I said to Cook? Go ahead and tell him that it matters what you do in the ring, but next time, make sure you hold up your hands and make air-quotation-marks and give me credit, or didn't you understand the meaning of me talking about 'actions vs. words'? Sounds a lot like you're 'hot air in the lungs vs. what you do in the ring' speech that you so gracefully delivered to Fredlin.

"Or are you to blinded by your own ego to notice the nuances? Are you truely THAT much smarter than me that I said everything that you were already thinking? You must be pretty damn smart to catch me off guard like that! My bad, Beasty. Didn't mean to tell Cook what you already intended to say to him before I had the thought to say it myself.

"You aren't smarter than me, Beast. Hell, if my muffins are REALLY as horrible as you think, I must be a Mensa member for being able to create a multi-million dollar company that has disgusting muffins as the basis for it's sales. Before you start saying that only Japanese, or Asians are buying them, do a little research. You'll learn that we were absorbed by Hostess a few years ago, and are distributed around the globe.

"Business sense doesn't equate into smarts, though, does it Beast? No, it doesn't. I guess my directorial debut, award-winning, movie, 'White Midgets Can't Jump' shows that I have no other vision besides how to run a pastry company? Welp, wrong again!

"The only thing about you that's better than me, Beast, is that EARLY in your career people saw that you were a big man who could toss people around and shoot on your opponents, so they strapped you. You, and your Dan Ryan story, are yesterday's news. Some of us actually LEARNED how to wrestle PROPERLY instead of becoming an overrated hack that doesn't know the difference between a European Uppercut and a Jab.

"Not a Jap, that's what I am.

"A jab. A straight punch.

"Beast, once you get past your size and strength, you're just another guy that the fans are caught up in because you were put in the place you are in, and NOT because you worked your way there and earned it.

"Kin Hiroshi? That muthafu**a' has earned everything through hard work, and calling out the most overrated wrestlers around.

"At least Cook was chewing on a sub sandwich when you told him not to talk with his mouth full.

"You? You're munching on your foot."

MarcusWestcott
05-09-07, 07:34 PM
Beast, in the inside of the TEAM media room. TV's, DVD players, recording equipment, and other gadgets are plentiful in this geek's shrine. Beast sits comfortably in a huge leather recliner in front of a massive plasma screen.

Beast: Hiroshi, it comes down to this.

I AM INDEED smarter than you.

And I only need 5 seconds to prove it.

Beast hits PLAY on a nearby remote and the big screen comes to life. It's SS III. Beast vs. Hiroshi.

Hiroshi and Beast tangling up, and Hiroshi goes for the suplex. He's blocked and Beast kicks him in the gut and nails him with the sunset flip. Referee Monet Samuel is in an awkward position and she can't see that Beast is both grabbing the ropes AND pulling Hiroshi's tights. Beast gets the win.

Beast hits pause, with the graphic showing Beast walking away, huge smile on his face.

Beast: In case you missed it, I can play it again if you want.

I may not have thrashed you, Hiroshi. I may not have destroyed you in the ring. But you're the one that opened his yap and issued the challenge to me, and I'm the one that got my hand raised.

Hell, I'm smarter than you because you couldn't even figure out why. You thought it was something I said in my last segment. You're a little quick to fly off the handle, aren't you Hiroshi? Last time, I casually said your muffins SUCK, and you blew a gasket. This time, I say I'm smarter than you, and you go on a five minute rant without having the SLIGHTEST clue what you're talking about.

Hell Hirsoshi, you think you're smarter than me because you mass marketed a bunch of disgusting muffins to the Japanese.

Sorry.

Azns.

Let me put it this way, Hiroshi.

DAVID HASSELHOFF was huge in Japan.

And outside of being partnered with a talking car, he was a talentless hack. Guess who was a better actor - him, or KITT?

Absorbed by Hostess? Didn't we cover this when I beat you at SS III?

Hostess has a long history of producing sloppy, inedible treats that pack on the pounds of its consumers.

Does the word Twinkie ring a bell?

Your muffins fit in just fine with that company. One bite of those things, and next thing you know, you're the next spokesperson for TrimSpa. You mass-marketing this crap to the Asian market doesn't make you brilliant, it just proves that the average Asian consumer will consume ANYTHING that comes from the West, including Hasselhoff albums, and it proves that they're even dumber than YOU.

Being smarter than a group of people who would eat packaged sh*t if they thought it came from the West isn't much to crow about, Hiroshi.

And you're obviously dumber than Paris Hilton if you think that I've gotten what I have by being in the right spot at the right time. You haven't done your homework, have you? Ever hear of a little place called A1E? A place where I've won 10 titles?

That's an awful lot of being in the right spot in the right time. I've busted my ASS over there for nearly seven years to earn what I've earned.
Speaking of which, if what I've done there doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of things, then why haven't we seen YOU there? Why haven't YOU come to A1E and dominated the federation like you say you can?

You challenge me twice, Hiroshi. I'll challenge you. Come to A1E and put your ass on the line against the very best in this business night after night.

I bet you'll last about as long as a Hostess Twinkie in Rosie O'Donnell's fat fingers.

You got where you are by calling out the most over rated wrestlers around?

You called ME out and got PINNED.

Sounds like a pretty f*cking dumb statement to make.

I thought you were supposed to be the SMART one in this match.

Time to make it 2-0 against the Muffin Man.

I think I'll debut my new finisher - Hot Cross Buns. I'll ram one of your f*cking muffins down your thoat, and we'll see how fast the disgusting taste makes you tap out.

Fade out.

MarcusWestcott
05-09-07, 07:34 PM
Beast, in the inside of the TEAM media room. TV's, DVD players, recording equipment, and other gadgets are plentiful in this geek's shrine. Beast sits comfortably in a huge leather recliner in front of a massive plasma screen.

Beast: Hiroshi, it comes down to this.

I AM INDEED smarter than you.

And I only need 5 seconds to prove it.

Beast hits PLAY on a nearby remote and the big screen comes to life. It's SS III. Beast vs. Hiroshi.

Hiroshi and Beast tangling up, and Hiroshi goes for the suplex. He's blocked and Beast kicks him in the gut and nails him with the sunset flip. Referee Monet Samuel is in an awkward position and she can't see that Beast is both grabbing the ropes AND pulling Hiroshi's tights. Beast gets the win.

Beast hits pause, with the graphic showing Beast walking away, huge smile on his face.

Beast: In case you missed it, I can play it again if you want.

I may not have thrashed you, Hiroshi. I may not have destroyed you in the ring. But you're the one that opened his yap and issued the challenge to me, and I'm the one that got my hand raised.

Hell, I'm smarter than you because you couldn't even figure out why. You thought it was something I said in my last segment. You're a little quick to fly off the handle, aren't you Hiroshi? Last time, I casually said your muffins SUCK, and you blew a gasket. This time, I say I'm smarter than you, and you go on a five minute rant without having the SLIGHTEST clue what you're talking about.

Hell Hirsoshi, you think you're smarter than me because you mass marketed a bunch of disgusting muffins to the Japanese.

Sorry.

Azns.

Let me put it this way, Hiroshi.

DAVID HASSELHOFF was huge in Japan.

And outside of being partnered with a talking car, he was a talentless hack. Guess who was a better actor - him, or KITT?

Absorbed by Hostess? Didn't we cover this when I beat you at SS III?

Hostess has a long history of producing sloppy, inedible treats that pack on the pounds of its consumers.

Does the word Twinkie ring a bell?

Your muffins fit in just fine with that company. One bite of those things, and next thing you know, you're the next spokesperson for TrimSpa. You mass-marketing this crap to the Asian market doesn't make you brilliant, it just proves that the average Asian consumer will consume ANYTHING that comes from the West, including Hasselhoff albums, and it proves that they're even dumber than YOU.

Being smarter than a group of people who would eat packaged sh*t if they thought it came from the West isn't much to crow about, Hiroshi.

And you're obviously dumber than Paris Hilton if you think that I've gotten what I have by being in the right spot at the right time. You haven't done your homework, have you? Ever hear of a little place called A1E? A place where I've won 10 titles?

That's an awful lot of being in the right spot in the right time. I've busted my ASS over there for nearly seven years to earn what I've earned.
Speaking of which, if what I've done there doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of things, then why haven't we seen YOU there? Why haven't YOU come to A1E and dominated the federation like you say you can?

You challenge me twice, Hiroshi. I'll challenge you. Come to A1E and put your ass on the line against the very best in this business night after night.

I bet you'll last about as long as a Hostess Twinkie in Rosie O'Donnell's fat fingers.

You got where you are by calling out the most over rated wrestlers around?

You called ME out and got PINNED.

Sounds like a pretty f*cking dumb statement to make.

I thought you were supposed to be the SMART one in this match.

Time to make it 2-0 against the Muffin Man.

I think I'll debut my new finisher - Hot Cross Buns. I'll ram one of your f*cking muffins down your thoat, and we'll see how fast the disgusting taste makes you tap out.

Fade out.

DizzaHizza
05-09-07, 08:45 PM
** DISCLAIMER: The comments about other federations are the opinion of one Kin Hiroshi, and in no way reflect the thoughts and opinions of his agent, Michael LeQuan 'Flash' Dove. **

KIN HIROSHI: *shaking his head* Beast, you continue to amaze me. You go on about how you're smarter than me by showing a clip from SSIII with you holding the ropes to get a win on me, but the only thing you're proving is that you're not a talented enough wrestler to go over clean against me Hell, it didn't even prove that you're smarter than me, just smarter than the schlub reffing the match.

"Continuing your own little tirade that puts any of my snot-nosed, whine-fests to shame, you seem to have misconstrued my statements. I didn't say that I am smart BECAUSE I have sold my, so-called, 'disgusting' muffins to people who rather enjoy them, but because I was able to move outside of the Asian market to a global market. It's called VISION.

"In fact, I'm having a VISION right now: me pinning you at SSIV.

"But, you're right, Beast, the Asian market is pretty stupid, and they will buy up and consume any s**t that comes prepackaged for them, from the West. I guess that's why you're huge in Tokyo?

"Or does A1E not get over to that side of the world? Maybe it's all the DVD and internet downloads that keep your popularity at a peak over there.

"But maybe I shouldn't start talking about A1E, I wouldn't want to start a war. Then again, it's elitist enough over there, that no matter what kind of trash I were to talk about your bread and butter they'd just turn their noses and say, 'Muffin Man? Sounds kind of gay to me. Plus, he doesn't fit in here because he wrestles elsewhere...job job job. Blah blah blah.'

"Sound about par for the course. Hell, I'd show up there, and the only guarantee that I'd have is that your headliners and main eventers would look down their noses and glare at 'the new kid.' Hell, even Dan wouldn't look at me twice in the locker room.

"Well, he barely does ever since the soap accident of '01, but that's neither here nor there.

"Beast, the only thing you've proven is that you eeked out a win at SSIII by being smarter than the referee, which isn't saying much since Jeff Foxworthy won't even consider if you're both smarter than a 5th grader, and you proved that your size and hype doesn't matter.

"Two and Oh, against the Muffin Man? Please. That's like telling me I'm going to lose to Cook.

"Blow me."

DizzaHizza
05-09-07, 08:46 PM
Bump you damn dirty message board

MarcusWestcott
05-09-07, 09:45 PM
Actually, KIN, if that is indeed your real name - what SS III proves is that you were dumb enough to allow yourself to get rolled up near the ropes. You didn't give yourself an out.

And I was smart enough to put you there.

But lest we forget your GLOBAL VISION.

You can't even see six inches in front of your face where the ring ropes were.

And you're the second coming of wrestling Jesus?

Again, Kin, do your research. A1E has done a couple tours of Japan. Numbers are through the roof. Records smashed all over the place.

But I guess when it comes to A1E, you're just afraid.

Guys like myself, James Irish, JA, Richard Farnswirth, Chip Friendly, Steven Shane... we've all come to this "side of the wrestling world" to see how our chops test out over here. I'd say we've done very well. I'm a former World Champion. Chip and Farns are the longest reigning tag champs in EPW history. JA's won singles titles.

But you're afraid to test the waters.

Why? Just ask guys like Dan Ryan, Cross, Troy Douglas, Rocko Daymon, Adam Benjamin, Cameron Cruise... guys who have all made the jump and have made their mark. They were never snubbed. Noses were never turned up at them. They were accepted and now they're thriving. Look at all the OTHER sixteen guys that came over to try their hands at the tag team tournament. They've beaten some home grown A1E teams, and are going to have a shot at our Tag Titles.

Elitist? That's just a f*cking excuse and you know it.

Face it, Hiroshi. You're scared.

No, you're not just scared.

You're a f*cking coward.

You've challenged me, Hiroshi. Twice. And here I am. No questions asked. I've even pinned your shoulders to the mat.

I challenge you, and you get all in a huff and make excuses.

Hey, even if I lose this match, at least I still had the balls to show up.

You? You've got a vag.

And at SS IV, I'm going to f*ck you over.

SamLandry
05-09-07, 11:20 PM
“Are the children done chatting? May the winds rest on the peaks of Everest for a moment?”
<o></o>
Fred Cook, also known as The Poet, is standing in his…well, apartment. In his undies. Tighty-whities to be exact. His skin is pale, like any man of the arts, and is covered in thin, black hair that curls into nowhere particular. He sits staring towards the camera, because, let’s be honest, what kind of elaborate setting can you set up when you’re responding to some Larrys this late in the scheme of things? Fred ain’t superman, sucka.
<o></o>
“Now, before I continue, I must warn any of you out there that are arriving late—if you haven’t caught any of the previous broadcasts of my opponents, just save your time right now. You can pretty much watch a summary video of their history, so to speak, and add your own dramatic commentary. Really, it’s actually quite enjoyable. Think of it as an everyman’s art, yes?
<o></o>
I have beaten you, and you are pathetic!
<o></o>
That means nothing! And you’re more pathetic!
<o></o>
Lies! You are!
<o></o>
No! YOU ARE!
<o></o>
…And so on.”
<o></o>
The head of Fred drops into two open palms. He supports himself with the power of elbows and geometry…I think. Either way, his chin, actually, is in his palms.
<o></o>
“Beast and Kin, for something that is such a huge aspect of our profession, you seem to do it quite horribly. The men and women who watch us don’t want to here two fools arguing over who is the stronger men—that is what the ring is for, no? I believe you both preached that to me earlier, how where the ring is where you prove your worth. Then tell me…why bother speaking? What is the point of walking to the microphone and saying you’re the best?”
<o></o>
Leaning back in his chair, Fred stares off into the distance. He is either in deep thought or reminiscing about his child hood days. Probably not the latter.
<o></o>
“I respect no bigots. I may respect your records and your achievements—the glory and pain you speak so warmly about—but I spit on your ignorance. The dimension you operate on is flat; the outcomes, predictable; the stories, already read. A million stereotypes have been recycled and reshaped into the two men who will face off in the ring with me. When a man has nothing to offer other than a name, the crowds will disperse. It may live on with the true fans, but those men and women are just as lost as you.”
<o></o>
“For you see, the languages you speak are nothing but simple put-downs and one-ups. One liners may hold fame, but you can’t see a face in a sentence. The life of lore comes from art…and all we will have are talented fighters who are like all the others.”

“If you are not at the top of the food chain—which I know neither of you are—then there must be something that you must bring to the table. Pretty soon the fire will burn out if you keep on saying the same-old, same-old. There are those who show me a life where they have meaning; not just a crazy muffin man and a, well, Beast. There is a human behind their tights; under yours, just old cranks churning out the same damn thing.”
<o></o>
“I may not win this match, and it might’ve been foolish of me to say I would have, but damn it, if it’s only my words, then maybe things will change. Maybe I won’t have to keep on poking and prodding to add some life to this dull place. One day I might be able to concentrate solely on my writing rather than speak from a toilet or set up scenery to look like a passenger plane about to crash. But I can’t. And if I’m forced to try and shove it in your face to say it, then **** I will. Until that day, though, I will continue to respect your past, but it doesn’t mean a definition until I’m done wrestling. Hopefully I’ll be able to search the archives and be able to reminisce about the matches I saw—and was even a part of. The only thing that’ll be able to tell you apart from the others is a name, though—especially when all the recordings sound the same.”
<o></o>
Fred stands up and turns around for the camera. For a moment he stands there, still…what the **** is he doing? Then out of no where…
<o></o>
*swish*
<o></o>
A hairy ass with writing on it is now in front of our eyes. If you can wade through all the dead cells…
<o></o>
“Tell me, when the silent kings died,
How many years before they forgot his tongue?
And how many people cried,
When they found that their lords were no one?”