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View Full Version : MEMPHIS 2nd: [1p] Jason Payne vs. [9] Devin Shakur



TH
02-26-07, 06:57 PM
Payne defeated:
Chris Storm in a play-in after losing to Foxx

Shakur defeated:
Corcidon

Second round match to be held at the Anderson Arena in Bowling Green, OH on Bowling Green St. U's campus. RP deadline is Sunday, March 4th at 11:59:59 PM EST, give or take a second.

MatchwritingGod
03-03-07, 07:12 PM
This is more than less so Holzy will shut his yap :)

Devin Shakur succeeded in getting past the first round match of Coricidon without much of a problem. The demons inside of his head managed to be kept at bay long enough for him to focus upon the objective of advancing to the second round. The second round now presented a challenger that Shakur was looking forward to facing in Jason Payne, because it brought him one step closer to his true objective in Tony ‘The Grin’ Gamble.

That was the entire reason that Devin Shakur was in this tournament to begin with, because he heard that the Permascar Superstar was going to be in this. The Braintrust has sent Devin Shakur out to do their bidding because of a past wrong, and Devin Shakur seemed to revel in the new role of being a hired assassin despite his hatred of being the subordination of life.

The only person that was standing in his way was Jason Payne…

This would be one fight that Devin Shakur would put his life on the line for.

Inside of Devin Shakur’s entertainment room in the basement of his mansion, we find the Reject of PRIME sitting on his couch in his dress attire, sans his crew. Devin looks like a million bucks from head to toe: Perfectly combed black hair parted to the right, a black Armani dress shirt buttoned up all the way to the top, Armani dress pants that look like they have just been recently pressed, and shoes that cost about the same as a gallon of gas right now: 2,140 dollars.

Looks, however, can be so very deceiving. Inside, Devin Shakur is on the verge of a horrific mental breakdown, one that has been boiling for over twenty eight years. Of course one won’t get to see that side of him…Yet.

The red light turns on and we are underway.

Devin Shakur: Hi, I’m facing Jason Payne. You might remember him from such memorable lines in the TEAM tournament as

“It's survival of the fittest at the highest level, and let's face it Foxx. We both know that I'm higher on the food chain than you could ever possibly hope to be."

“Or did you perhaps think that you actually succeeded in finding a means of putting some sort of doubt, or fear into my mind that yes, I might actually lose this match."

“I mean are you guys wanting this tournament to be taken seriously? Do you honestly think that Foxx stands a snowballs chance in hell of beating Jason Payne? I don't think so!"

"Face facts Foxx. You're best bet is to hope that perhaps you get a second chance at this, and pull someone who is more your caliber, instead of the man that's Too Hot For Team, Jason Payne."

"I could go on and on for hours about how I am going to beat you, and what I'm going to do to you, and how I'm going to leave you broken, battered and quite possibly unrecognizable once this is all done, but I'm not going to do that.

"Now, don't get the idea Foxx that I've somehow dismissed you as a credible threat to me and am looking past you.”

Devin Shakur: But most notably

“I never look past any match for to do so would be to seal my own fate.”

Devin Shakur is shaking his head in disbelief.

Devin Shakur: Where to begin, oh where to begin with this tale? The man who believed that he was too hot for TEAM, the man who believed nobody was going to stop him, and the man who believed that he was going to beat Foxx to complete and utter annihilation not only got taken to the limit with a “140 pound woman” as he referred to her, but he ended up losing?

Devin Shakur mouths the word “Wow” without actually speaking it.

Devin Shakur: I think the Misogynist Organization of Overestimation Oppressors wishes to revoke your membership Mr. Payne. Your momentum got castrated before you could even get started in this tournament. The big win that you achieved prior to the tournament ended up meaning one big fat SQUADUSH. To make matters even worse, Jason Mother****ing Payne had to accept a play-in match because of the double forfeit bug?

Faux shock appears on Devin’s face.

Devin Shakur: Man, if you had any pride you wouldn’t be accepting something like that. You are so hot for TEAM that you have to accept a charity offer from them? **** that ****.

Devin Shakur: I mean, ****, saying that you were going to beat Foxx beyond recognition in about sixty different ways couldn’t have had anything to do with that defeat could it? You couldn’t have possibly underestimated someone…No you would never do that because that would seal your fate right?

Devin Shakur: Let me sum up what happened for you Jason, your ego has sterilized your brain cells, thus preventing you from coming up with any intellectual thoughts. Now when it comes to our match specifically, your name value is going to mean nothing to me. I don’t care what you have accomplished. I don’t care if you won this match or that match or whatever the ****, and I don’t care if you believe you can destroy me, since the fact of the matter is you don’t even know if you can.

Devin Shakur: As I’ve stated before Jason, you do not know something definitively when it comes to matches, you can only assume about something, and you are the classic example of what happens when assumptions go wrong. Confidence cannot leave the barn as it is not a legitimate foundation. You rode in on that horse and got the reality check that you so desperately needed. Hopefully you have become at least just a centimeter more humble because of Foxx.

Devin Shakur: Fighting those bigger than me, Jason, is nothing new, coming back from the verge of death is nothing new for me either. Go ahead and say that you are going to tear me limb from limb. Go ahead and say you are going to kill me inside of the ring. You won’t be the first one to attempt to try to execute me, and you more than likely won’t be the last one to try. I welcome the challenge that you present to me, because it means that I have to be focused at all times in the match, and it means that I have zero room for error.

Devin Shakur: What could be potentially waiting for me in the next round Jason is something that is going to make me do everything in my power to get through you, it will make my punches that much stiffer, it will make my kicks that much more lethal, and it will heighten my senses to their maximum capacity. It will give me focus of the highest magnitude specifically upon you. I’m not going to do what you did and underestimate my opposition, but I do know that you have limits and that you can be beaten.

Devin Shakur: I just hope that you bring your best game to the table with you Jason. I just hope that you don’t make a mistake in our match, thereby giving me an opening to exploit. When you have the best shot, take it Jason, because nobody gets a second chance against me…And nobody ever will.

Fade out

Jason Payne
03-04-07, 01:07 AM
The night had fallen over the land, and with it, the weather. Large and pendulous clouds were making their way across the sky, and in the distance, the low rumble of thunder rolled across the barren landscape. A light drizzle fell from the sky as an omen of the floodgates which would be opened in the near future. A slight chill in the air signaled that a change was coming, but what kind of change was a complete mystery.

In the middle of nowhere, surrounded my mountains stood Jason Payne. Standing on a balcony made of solid rock, he looked out from his Solitary Fortress of Catchphrasology and Pop Icon Debunkery. Wearing a long flowing black cape, his eyes looked out onto the bleak landscape as he pondered why they had decided to name his ultra squirrelly secret hideout such a nonsensical name. The click of boots from behind him signaled the arrival
of one of his many minions.

Minion - "My lord, we are receiving a transmission."

Payne fails to even acknowledge the man's presence, yet he addresses him anyway. His voice a deep and resonating tone, he speaks purposefully, his words weighed carefully with forethought, and insight.

Payne - "Have you identified the source?"

It was not often that Payne addressed his minions, and in doing so, he had caused this one to suddenly panic, as not expecting Payne to ask for further info, he had failed to adequately prepare for addressing him.

Minion - "I uh...I do not have this information my lord."

Without missing a beat, Payne whirled around, grabbing the minion by the collar of his shirt, and hurled him over the stone balcony to the valley floor below. The man's screams slowly faded as he fell hundreds of feet to the hard ground. Payne looked on in quiet contemplation, the peaceful expression contrasting with the speed and violence with which he had so quickly acted. Turning from the balcony, he slowly walked into the mountain, into his mega-super-duper secret hideout.

Payne walked down a hallway and turned a corner, entering a small command room. The room had several viewing screens, computer terminals, and about 15 people scurrying about to different stations handling mundane and boring duties which require no further development or explanation, it's just regular evil minions doing regular evil minion stuff. No further hidden meanings or messages to extrapolate from them. Each of them seemed to stiffen when Payne entered the room, with one who appeared to be the HMIC (Head Minion in Charge) walked up to Payne and bowed his head in genuflection.

HMIC - "My lord, we have received a transmission. We believe it to be from Devin Shakur."

Payne regards the man with a quizzical expression as he ponders the hidden depths and meanings of such an event, of which of course, there are none. But since this is what all mysterious rich guys with big ass mansions do in their spare time, Payne feels obligated to keep tradition alive.

Payne - "Devin Shakur. Now this is a name I have not heard in a long time. A long time. Not since his House of Blues album that came out in 2005."

The HMIC, in typical HMIC fashion, has no idea what his leader is talking about, and arches an eyebrow at Payne.

HMIC - "My lord?"

Payne’s expression goes from one of benevolence to one of consternation as his underling has failed to understand his reasoning, a common fault in most minions and something that apparently will have to be fixed through a collective bargaining agreement through the IAM....International Association of Minions.

Payne - "You are familiar with his tale yes? Young black rapper gains fame and fortune only to be shot under mysterious circumstances after a Mile Tyson fight? This tale is the stuff of legends."

The minion, realizing he is on thing ground as it is, clears his throat reluctantly before speaking again.

HMIC - "My lord, that was Tupac Shakur. The source of the transmission was Devin Shakur."

Payne turns to face the HMIC and his face is one of complete and utter shock. his eyes are wide and his mouth agape.

Payne - "LIES! Tupac lives! I saw Tupac down on 42nd street selling Biggie T-shirts, two for ten bucks!"

The HMIC looks at Payne with a look of complete exasperation

HMIC - "My lord, you're quoting Dave Chappelle again. It hasn't been cool for white people to do that for the last two years or so."

Payne looks at the HMIC with a confused look on his face.

Payne - "No I'm not. Listen, I am not bound to this worlds rules governing the laws of REALITY, alright? If the TEAM booking committee can suspend the laws of REALITY in order to put asses in the seats, then the rules of REALITY will no longer apply to anyone!"

The HMIC sighs and shakes his head before addressing Payne again.

HMIC - "Would you like to view the transmission sir?"

Payne turns towards the main viewer.

Payne - "Yes! Yes! Main viewer turn on!"

The main screen comes to life as Devin's promo begins to air. When Devin comes into picture, Payne shouts out.

Payne - "It's you!"

Devin’s promo continues to air as some in the room sneak a glance at the highly omnipotent, yet seemingly detached Payne. The promo finishes airing and Payne turns to look at his subordinates with a sigh of exasperation, but a look of grim determination.

Payne - "Take off every 'Zig'."

The HMIC rolls his eyes.

HMIC - "My Lord, all our base are belong to us...not to him"

Payne’s face mixes realization, with relief.

Payne - "Oooh, that's good. He looks a lot whiter than I remember him being."

HMIC - "My lord that isn't....oh nevermind. What is your plan of action sir?"

Payne pursed his lips in thought. He had to think of something. Something that was outrageous and so over the top that it would not be ignored. But what? What could he possibly do to show how committed he was to the defeating of his enemy.

Payne - "Since the booking committee running TEAM, not to mention Jess Chapel have it in for me in this tournament...we must move quickly. If the Jedi survive it will be civil war without end."

HMIC just shakes his head, not even wanting to attempt to get his master back on track. He simply nods weakly, knowing that Payne's thought processes are not correct, but unwilling to stand against him, since he doesn't want to get thrown off a balcony.

Payne - "Come! Let us retreat to the room of intense and nonsensical thought so that we can decide which pop culture references we shall destroy in preparation for this match!"

Payne turns and exits the room, with the HMIC walking to the door behind him and stopping before turning around and looking at the rest of the crew in the command room.

HMIC - "**** this **** man. I say we strike in September."

FTB

MatchwritingGod
03-04-07, 05:15 AM
(Disclaimer: All of the comments made are in character, even those by OOC Chris. Yes he’s a character, me amped up by about twenty times, but nothing said is a direct pot shot. Although I will say that I did go WTF after reading Payne's RP but that is it.)

Fade to Bill Clinton sitting in a chair

Bill Clinton: My name is Bill Clinton and I approve of the following bull****.

Movie Voiceover Guy: The following has been rated WTF!

The following may or may not have taken place between 2 AM and 5 AM

A twenty year old individual is sitting at his computer decked out in a Skulls green T-Shirt and blue pajama pants wanting to know about the latest developments in the TEAM Tournament on behalf of his representative, one Devin Shakur. Said individual goes to his favorites on an Internet browser, clicks the ‘Others’ folder, and clicks the FW Central link. This individual scrolls down to the TEAM section and sees that indeed Jason Payne has graced the world with his presence again. Devin Shakur’s representative clicks on the MEMPHIS 2nd round thread, and after reading the piece is baffled by what he sees.

His name is OOC Chris and it’s about to go down like whoa.

OOC Chris: What the ****? Oh Lord, hang on a minute.

OOC Chris snaps his fingers and instantly an intercom appears nailed down to the desk. OOC Chris pushes the red button on the far right.

“Devin”

Down in the basement, Devin Shakur hears this, turns around, and presses the intercom button back.

“What?”

We’re now going to go split screen because I, as the all knowing narrator, don’t feel like going back and forth with the description process.

OOC Chris: Dude, Jason Payne just did a roleplay.

Devin Shakur: Is it worth my time and attention to listen to it?


OOC Chris: Um…Well I’m straight edge but I really don’t want to be the next time I see one of these things.

Devin Shakur: That bad is it?

OOC Chris: Yes

Devin Shakur: Can you work some of your magic and get it to play down here on the TV?

OOC Chris: Yeah, give me a second, I’ll come down and watch it with you.

Shift from split screen back to OOC Chris. He’s thinking about how to get this piece of literature into video format and from the computer downstairs to the television.

OOC Chris: Ah, got it, here’s a pop culture reference that hasn’t been used in about eight years: Go-Go-Gadget-Turn-The-Roleplay-Into-Video-To-Be-Seen-On-The-Entertainment-Room-TV.

Chris hits the red button on the intercom again, back to split screen.

OOC Chris: Got it?

Devin Shakur: It’s starting.

OOC Chris: Be down in a sec.

OOC Chris stands up and then realizes he is on the fourth floor of a mansion and really does not want to do any exercising right now. He sits back down at his computer and types in a command.

‘Move OOC Chris down to entertainment room’

And magically OOC Chris appears in the entertainment room. Devin Shakur, Marcus Blaze, and a couple of other people are already watching the piece as it appears problem free on the TV.

Five Minutes Later- The promo is done

Everybody in the room has their eyebrows down and their mouths open.

Devin Shakur: …

Marcus Blaze: …

OOC Chris: …

Dick Vitale: …

Samuel L Jackson: …

Chuck Norris: …

Kobe Bryant: …Man **** this **** I’m going back to Colorado to find me some white *****es. Who down?

Chuck Norris: I be down for pimp smacking some white *****es son.

Yeah, envision Chuck Norris saying that in your head.

Now if you didn’t laugh I’ll shoot you.

Kobe Bryant and Chuck Norris both exit through the time machine/transporter.

Samuel L Jackson: Aite, we all here, now today’s roundtable discussion…

OOC Chris: You are still out of character.

Samuel L Jackson: Ah, sorry

Samuel L Jackson turns away from the group and two seconds later turns back.

Samuel L Jackson: WHAT IN THE **** DID WE JUST SEE?

Devin Shakur: Acid trip?

Marcus Blaze: Anal probing aliens?

OOC Chris: Got drunk and woke up next to Tori Spelling?

Everybody looks at OOC Chris

OOC Chris: Oh come the **** on, you look at a picture of that…individual and you tell me that’s not a man.

Dick Vitale: I MADE A DIPSY DOO IN MY DIAPER DANDIES, BABY!

Yes I stole that from someone named Ron over at SportsBastards, I write there too.

Devin Shakur: I think Dickie V makes the most logical argument.

Samuel L Jackson: YOU MOTHER****ERS AIN’T EVEN HEARD MY THEORY YET!

OOC Chris: What is it?


Samuel L Jackson: I THINK HE ****ED A FAT ASIAN *****!

Devin Shakur puts his head in his hands and shakes his head.

OOC Chris: We’re so jobbing because of this.

Marcus Blaze: I dunno about that-

Samuel L Jackson: WHY THE **** YOU DOUBTIN ME? IT BECAUSE I’M BLACK?

Marcus Blaze: …Yeah, pretty much.

Samuel L Jackson: OH! Well thanks for telling me.

Marcus Blaze: No problem.

OOC Chris: Besides, how many fat asian women you ever seen in your lifetime?


Everybody but Devin Shakur goes into a moment of deep introspection.

Dick Vitale: A MYSTERY FOR THE AGES BAYBEE!

Samuel L Jackson: How the **** does anybody take you seriously?

Enter Ric Flair and a clown. Ric Flair gives the clown a knife edge chop

Everybody Else: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The clown no sells and Flair freaks out.

Ric Flair: AHHHHHH GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOO!

Flair starts back pedaling as the clown points ominously in his direction. Flair then falls down, jumps back up, backs up to the wall, and then does the only logical thing he knows how to do…

THE FLAIR FLOP!

The clown goes back through the time machine/transporter.

Devin Shakur: Does any of this have a point?

Samuel L Jackson: NONE OF WHAT WE JUST SAW HAD A MOTHER****ING POINT! WHY THE **** SHOULD WE HAVE ONE?

Devin Shakur: Alright, Sam, Sam, calm the **** down. Have we got something to calm him down?

Marcus Blaze: Um…We’ve got a Where’s Waldo thing.

Devin Shakur: Good, give it to him.

Marcus Blaze hands the Where’s Waldo to Samuel L Jackson who takes a long hard look at it.

Samuel L Jackson: THE **** IS THIS! WHERE’S WALDO?

Everybody in the room is silent

Samuel L Jackson: WHERE THE **** IS HE AT GODDAMMIT!

Samuel L Jackson is now getting OMG angry.

Samuel L Jackson: COME ON MOTHER****ER, WHERE’S WALDO AT? TELL ME GODDAMMIT!

Nobody wants to say the wrong thing and get shot. He’s probably packing heat somewhere.

Samuel L Jackson: I’M ASKING NICELY *****ES, WHERE THE **** IS WALDO? PLEASE, TELL ME WHERE THE **** IS HE?

Dick Vitale: I MADE ANOTHER DIPSY DOO IN MY DIAPER DANDIES, BABY!

Samuel L Jackson: Aite, I didn’t want to have to do this.

Samuel L Jackson turns around so that his back is facing the group.

Samuel L Jackson: The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!

Samuel L Jackson pulls out a gun, flicks the Where’s Waldo book out into the open and fires three shots into the book.

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!

Everybody hits the ****ing deck.

Marcus Blaze: (Whispering) How much did you pay him to show up here?

OOC Chris: …

Devin Shakur: (Whispering) If he doesn’t ****ing kill you, I will.

And it’s about to go from bad to worse for OOC Chris.

Enter John Travolta’s character from Pulp Fiction, Vincent Vega

Vincent Vega: CHRIS, YOU MOTHER****ER, WHERE THE **** IS THE MUSTARD ON THIS ROYALE WITH CHEESE GODDAMMIT?

BOOM

OOC Chris ducks under the shot, runs at Travolta, slides under the legs even though it’s on a carpet, gets up, and dives into the time machine/transporter.

Suddenly Sam Jackson has an afro. Sam Jackson is now officially Jules Winfield and we are officially in Pseudo-Pulp Fiction.

Vincent Vega: YOU SHOT WALDO IN THE FACE!

Jules Winfield: YOU SAW HIM?

Vincent Vega: YEAH!

Jules Winfield: WHERE THE **** WAS HE?

Vincent Vega: MAN I SEEN SOME CRAZY ASS **** IN MY TIME-

Jules Winfield: WHERE THE **** WAS WALDO AT?

Vincent Vega: HE’S THE ONE WITH THE CIRCLE AROUND HIM!

Jules Winfield: ****! NOW I’M GONNA GET IN ****ING TROUBLE WITH THEM TREE HUGGERS! I SHOT A ******* BOOK!

Vincent Vega: ****!

Vincent Vega whips out a cell phone and starts pressing some numbers.

Jules Winfield: WHO YOU CALLING?

Vincent Vega: One of my boys, hopefully he can sort this **** out. He’s got experience dealing with a crisis or two.

Vincent talks into the phone

Vincent Vega: Jack? It’s Vince, man we really need you down here. Jules done gone and shot Waldo and ****ing Chris didn’t put mustard on my Royale with Cheese.

“Stay calm, I’ll be right there. I will kill all the tree huggers on the way over. I also have the fugutive in custody and will be bringing him in. I would like to do the interrogation though.”

Vincent Vega: You got it.

Click

Devin Shakur and Marcus Blaze know that voice and know that things are about to go from REALLY bad to worse for OOC Chris.

Marcus Blaze: (Whispering) Does OOC Chris have health and or life insurance?

Devin Shakur: (Whispering) HOW THE **** AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? HE WRITES ME! NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!

Blue smoke appears from the time machine/transporter

Enter OOC Chris being held by the hair by the man being brought in to solve all the problems…





Jack Bauer

Marcus Blaze: (Whispering) You know martial arts, go fight him.

Devin Shakur: (Whispering) You’ve ****ing got to be kidding me right? There’s only one person who might be able to take him down.

Devin Shakur reaches into his pocket and pulls out a cell phone of his own, and quickly pushes the 911 button. Shakur is rich. He doesn’t have to push three buttons to get emergency help.

Voice: This better be good Shakur, I’m getting my mack on.

Devin Shakur: You need to come back here now, OOC Chris is about to get killed

Voice: By who?

Devin Shakur: Jack Bauer

Voice: I’ll be right there.

Jack Bauer throws OOC Chris onto the couch and smacks him HARD in the face before grabbing his hand, bringing it out onto the glass table, and producing a hammer from his back pocket.

Jack Bauer: If you don’t tell us everything we want to know, I will break each of your fingers one by one. Do you understand me?

“Stop right there”

More blue smoke from the time machine/transporter.

Enter…





Chuck Norris

Jack Bauer drops the hammer and the two of them engage in an epic staredown.








WHO IS GONNA BLINK FIRST?






TWO HOURS LATER

NOBODY IS BLINKING YET!








STILL NOBODY!

ONE HOUR LATER





NOBODY!

OOC Chris needs to go to sleep so he does a roll and hits a button on the radio.

#It was a teenage wedding and the old folks wished `em well#
#You could see that Pierre did truly love the mademoiselle#
#And now the young monsieur and madam have rung the chapel bell#

The time machine expands to a huge size and everybody mentioned in this roleplay comes through it, and we mean everybody: OOC Chris, Devin Shakur, Marcus Blaze, Samuel L Jackson, John Travolta, Ric Flair, the clown, Bill Clinton, Jack Bauer, Chuck Norris, and Kobe Bryant all start doing the twist, pretending they are part of the contest from the movie Pulp Fiction.

#C'est la vie say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell#
#They finished off an apartment with a two-room Roebuck sale#
#The coolerator was jammed with TV dinners and ginger ale#
#And when Pierre found work, the little money comin' worked out well#

Marcus Blaze puts a piece of cardboard in the middle of the floor.

#C'est la vie say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell#
#They had a hi-fi phono, boy did they let it blast#
#Seven hundred little records, all blues, rock, rhythm, and jazz#
#But when the sun went down, the volume went down as well#

Chuck Norris walks over to it and then… DOES A BREAKDANCE SPIN!

THE ENTIRE GLOBE IS SPINNING!

YES CHUCK NORRIS IS THAT POWERFUL!

WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!

ADD THIS ONE CHUCKNORRISFACTS.COM

Everybody in the room is flying around in a circle while Chuck Norris is busting out his moves. Around the world everybody begins passing out from the amount of spinning that they are doing.

The camera eventually turns off by slamming into the wall.

Done