View Full Version : PORTLAND SUDDEN DEATH PLAYIN: James Irish vs. Irishred

02-16-07, 12:12 AM
For the spot in the tournament vacated due to the Tanaka/Tiger double forfeit.

Deadline is Sunday, February 18th, 11:59:59 PM, give or take a second. There is an RP limit of ONE for this match. Anything more than one RP will be discounted.

02-16-07, 11:27 PM
OOC-With permission from Tommy James and I are doing both RP's together. Have fun judging!

Irishred and James Irish sit in a local pub. They are none too happy. Erin has just informed them that although they both received a second shot in the TEAM Invitational Tournament they will have to face one another.

Red: We gotta do this again?

James: Yup.

Red: Man... this is getting old.

James: Yup.

Red: I thought for sure we'd win our matches!

James: Yup.

Red: Amoronsays "Yup"

James: Yuuu-hey!!

Red: Hey look! They're showing Boomerang on the Big Screen!

James: Oh, now we're talking in my language!

Erin: *coming over with two beers and a root beer* They re-ran this stuff all th' time back home, too.

James: Hell, it's been re-run enough, even a fossil like Yogi Bear here's been a part of the childhoods of at least five generations now!

Red: Just reminds me of easier times. Being a kid, not having to worry about fighting against a friend just to get a paycheck.

James: I wonder... what is Yogi's win-loss record against that Ranger Smith??

Red: Probably the same as mine is against you. Not so good. I think I'm 1 for a dozen or something. Of course that one win was a classic.

James: True on that one you won, but with Yogi, I think it's closer than that... but it is a great analogue... what if... diddle-liddle-la, diddle-liddle-la, diddle-liddle-la...

Red: What the hell are you- HEY!!! SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!! REALITY'S GOING MAD!!!

Erin: Nah... James is just settin' up another insane set piece...

The scene switches to a Technicolor world. James is in a Green hat and tie. Erin is wearing a blue bow tie. Both have cute little ears and black noses. Their skin color is distinctly brown.

Erin: What have you done now boy-o? You'd think I'd be used to this by now.

James: Not to worry, Erin Boo-Boo-Bearin! I'm going to outsmart that Irish Ranger and claim a nice fresh pic-a-nic basket! Yee-hee-hee-hee!!!

Erin: What the hell did you just- oh... right... *ahem* I don't think Mr. Ranger Red will like that, Jamesey.

Irishred walks onto the scene in a crisply pressed army green Park Ranger uniform replete with snappy hat. He is of course carrying a picnic basket.

Irishred: This TiT picnic would normally be a great idea... if we still didn't have that crazy bear running around.

Erin: He didn't just say-

James: Short for "TEAM Invitational Tournament," Erin. For goodness sakes, this is a late-50s cartoon! We can't get away with innuendo!!

Irishred spreads out a blanket on the grass and sets the picnic basket down. He takes a wooden plank and hammer out of the basket and walks to the nearest tree. The pounds the plank onto the tree. The sign reads "DO NOT FEED THE BEARS"

Irishred: There! Clear enough even for Yogi!

James: Now, isn't that just a shame! Mr. Ranger Red is covering more of the bases than usual! I shall have to resort to classic stra-te-ger-ry!

Erin: *sigh* Th' balloon gag?

James: Yes, the balloon gag.

Ranger Red then slides down the tree cocking his hat over his eyes. He crosses his arms across his chest muttering

Red: "I should be able to catch a couple of winks before the rest of the gang shows up."

Jamey Bear and Boo-Boo-Bearin hide behind the tree that Ranger Red is napping against. Boo-Boo is busily filling balloons with helium from a canister that Jamey bear conveniently had stashed for just such an occasion. Boo-Boo begins to tie the balloons to Jamey Bear.

Erin: The laws of physics must be on vacation.

James: Well, I may be smarter than the average wrestler, but I never studied law!

Cross fade now to a shot of all those balloons tied to Jamey, flying through the air.
James: With no pitter patter of little bear paws, Mr. Ranger Red won't hear me coming!

Jamey floats to the picnic basket... and then it happens. He gets greedy.

Ranger Red peeks from under his hat at the floating "Bear", he covers his face as he begins to snicker.

James: I can't help myself, I'll have a little sugar pie, sweet as a bunch of honey! Hee-hee-hee-heEEEEEEEOUCH!!!

James stuck his hand in, and comes out with a bear trap attached to it!

Ranger Red jumps up running after the balloon lofted bear.
yanktonirishred: Red: I've got you know you picnic basket robbing bear!

As Ranger Red gets close Boo-Boo Bearin turns on a huge fan that she conveniently had near and blows Jamey Bear out of the reach of Ranger Red.

Irishred: Come back here, Jamey, or you're going to the zoo!!

James: Mr. Ranger Sir! Let me plead my case! Do you even know what they FEED bears at the zoo?!

The chase goes for a few seconds, as the two caricatures seem to run past the same group of trees seven times, until Jamey Bear hits a tree head first... and knocks loose a bee-hive.

Irishred & James: Oh, NO!!!

The bees hover out, and the scene fades to black, because this would be too expensive to animate. The next scene fades in... both Jamey Bear and IrishRanger Red in the park nurse's office with a ton of bee stings.

Irishred: So much for the picnic...

James: An so muh for mah tasse buhds! A bee stuhng mah tuhnge!!

Back at the bar...

Red: Yeah, I guess it was a wash mostly between the two of them.

James: Yeah. There's got to be a cartoon that's a better comparison.

Erin: Oh, no... don't tell me they're going t' do another one!

To be continued...

02-17-07, 11:04 PM
Note: Just like last time, the Holzermania-Man is letting Shane and I do this together. Be afraid!

Voiceover: We join our protagonists as they walk through the neighborhood around the bar. What shenanigans will this trio be up to tonight?

Erin: Do you boys hear that?

James: Aw, jeez. Not only did the cable go out, but now we're hearing voices.

Red: James, you always hear voices.

James: Well, my Grandmother did... thanks to the metal plate in her head.

Erin: Then what's your excuse?

James: ..... I'm pleading the fifth.

The scenery around the trio shifts to a Technicolor hue. The cars in the background turn into an assortment of dinosaurs and logs with wheels. The skyscrapers are replaced with stone building.

James: The... hell? Okay, this time, it wasn't me!! I swear it!!

Erin: If it wasn't you, then...

Red: LOOK!!

Irishred's clothes morph into an orange sabretooth pelt, James clothes change into a brown bear pelt and Erin is in a revealing white dress with her red hait up in the back in a bun.

Red: WILMA!!!!!

James: Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh!

Red: Well Barney, we have to face facts, this week in the Portstone bracket like it or not we do have to fight.

James: Well, hey, Fred! At least the girls don't have to worry about someone else clobbering us! They just have to worry about us!! Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh!

Erin: *looks down at her legs* AHHHH!! I canna' be showin' this much in this cold!! Quick! Change the cartoon, whoever's in charge here!!!

Suddenly as the trio continues walking the background switches again. The background switches to a very futuristic setting. Flying cars zoom by and the trio are carried along on a moving sidewalk

Erin: Well, I guess that's a bit- *notices her hair switch to something that looks like it's defying gravity*

James is nattily dressed in a white top and blue jeans, Irishred has taken on the appearance of a grey dog and Erin has the most obnoxious purple dress on.

Red: Ruh Roo Roerge.

James: Jeez, punching that Fusenshoff was making me punchy! I know I could have gotten the promotion to the second round...

Red: Right Roerge.

Erin: I have t’ say, this proves my point. Irishred is a dog.

Red: Rey!! Ri'm rot rome rutt!!

The scenery changes quickly around the three competitors to a dark forest. James is in green shirt and brown pants. Irishred wears blue pants, white shirt and red kerchief around his neck and Erins red hair is pulled back in a green headband. Unfortunately her dress remains purple.

Erin: Oh, begorra... somebody's meddling a little too hard, and it's not a kid!

Red: Ok gang, we've got to solve the mystery surrounding our losses in the first round of the tournament. Daphne you come with me, Shaggy you go look in the abandonded building.

James: M-m-m-m-me?! Uh-uh!! Not alone, I'm not!

Red: Well I'm not posing as a dog again!

Erin: *mutters* Might as well play along... *out loud* C'mon, lad... will ye do it for a Scooby Snack?

James: A Scooby Snack? ... make it two.

As James walks into the building it morphs into the Hall of Justice. Irishred is now in the familiar Blue and Red of Superman, James is in the garb of the dark knight and to the delight of every lonely man watching at home Erin is dressed as Wonder Woman.

Red: Great scott! The alarm!

Erin: I've had just about enough... I mean, they couldn't have animated Hawkgirl inta this show?!

Red: What no goodwinks are the Injustice society up to now.

James: I'm sure that our losses are due to the nefarious doings of the Joker. Which means we should expect some sort of gag crime...

Suddenly, it changes again, and James is the dog now... in an orange robe and a mask looking in a book!

James: Hmmmmm... wonder what the Hong Kong Book of Kung-Fu says about criminal comedy?

Now we find Erin sitting at a phone bank. Irishred enters in full police blues.

Red: PENRY!!!! Where is that lazy, no good janitor?!

Erin: No! No! I am absolutely not sayin' Rosemary's cornball dialogue!!

With Erin's latest complaint the scene shifts to the American Southwest. Red is in a red cowboy hat with a belt and holster draped across his hips. James wears a sombrero. Erin is sipping on a drink in the shade of a cactus happy that she is spared this time.

Erin: How appropriate... James is an ass.

James: Qeeks Draw, I theen...

Red: Now Hoooooooold on thar, Baba Looey! I'll do the "thinnin" around here and And doooooooooooooooon't you forget eeeet! Now I was thinnin....this here fight. We still gonna be friends after this Baba Looey?

James: You bet, Qeeks Draw. We're thicker 'en any seelley fight.

Erin: Y'know what? At this rate, they’ll hit the frickin’ Smurfs in no time! At least let's do a cartoon I can relate to!

And sure enough, Erin gets her wish... in the form of a slinky leopard print swimsuit with a tail, and a guitar!

Erin: YEAH!! "Josie and the *****cats, long tails and ears for hats..."

James: *as Alexander Cabot III* Well... she's happy.

Red: *as Alan* Good. Maybe now that we've spent the excess budget, we can at least focus on our match. Good luck, buddy.

James: You, too, man.

The two shake hands, while Erin keeps rocking out, completely oblivious to anything else.

Red: And that's the "purr-fect" ending.

Muttley: *snickers*

Red: ... who let him in here??

James: Beats me.