EpyonMarx
11-14-06, 05:11 AM
This is a story of a time long ago
A time of myth and legend – when the ancient Gods were petty and cruel.
Only one man dared challenge their power.
That man was…
[FADE IN… I said FADE IN!!! Oh… no, don’t adjust your set. The screen is completely and utterly black, as if your TV was turned off, but don’t worry – it’s still on. After a few seconds, a sombre monk walks across the screen, arms folded. As he reaches the centre of the screen, he unfolds his arms, pulling a battered scroll from the sleeve of his habit. He unfurls it, head still bowed, before speaking in a dark, distant voice]
Monk: There is amongst God-fearing people a legend of a terrible being – of a demon so horrific, he turned all to stone at a glance, and could will people into eternal slumber. This is the tale of that legend, how the monster lived and wrought havoc on the world. How no-one has yet to defeat him – but there is a prophesy which says of a way to defeat even he.
[The scene changes, but the monk’s voice remains, unchanged and sonorous. The scene now is of Salisbury Plain – more specifically, Stone Henge itself. A circle of druids stands around a central stone, chanting incantations, as a central figure, the High Druid, holds an orb in his hand. The sun is setting as the camera pans round – the sun’s rays through the orb create a myriad of colours, at one angle blue, at another deepest crimson, and so many countless colours it is impossible to list them all here]]
Monk: On the day of the Summer Solstice, in the time before our Lord, did the High Priests of hold annually hold commune with their Gods. For in the days before the Coming of our Lord where there many Gods, and it was to these that they gave their thanks and worship for the year that had ended and the year to come. And so it was from year to year, or so it is written.
Yet, on the last of these instances, was there a great calamity that Cuchullain, who was a hero to them, would have been unable to stave. Maeve herself, a woman of great beauty and freedom of body, would have been unable to seduce what was to come. For the ceremony decreed that all those assembled should be free from sin, joyful of heart, and hold the good of their people above their own good – for to them that was proper, or so it is written.
Yet there was one, after millennia of good, honest worship from the Pagan Celts, that was not adherent to this code. And did he come from the Emerald Isle – from the lands where Troubles have oft occurred. This man was the High Druid of the isle, and was present in that capacity, his peers believing him to have at heart and in mind only the salvation and good fortune of his bretheren. But, to the eternal shame of all, was his heart not pure, nor goodly. For he, whose birthname cannot be mentioned, did covet power, and sought to become the High Priest of all high priests – he wished to elevate himself to be a living God amongst men.
To this end, did he seek out scripture, rumour or gossip, by word of mouth, on scroll or tablet, that might help him in his selfishness and greed. And so it was that he came across a legend about a demon, a legend that was written upon the stones of a bygone civilisation. And when he gazed upon the stones did he know that he had found what he had sought, for he heard an ancient voice, powerful and dark, in his mind.
“When I am released from my prison,” spake it, “shall any wish be granted to thee – for am I am so powerful that it took all of the Gods to imprison me, and so great was their exertion in so wrongfully doing that they did expend their energy and are no more. Release me from my prison, and thou shalt knoweth power beyond thine imaging, for the Gods that thy kind worship are no more.”
“If I do thee free,” spake he, “shall I truly have any wish granted that mine heart desires?”
And did the demon well know that his freedom would soon come, for he could even in the confines of his prison look deep into the hearts of all except the purest, and was in holding of plentiful knowledge of the ways and workings of man that he knew how best to beguile and tempt. “I shall prove what power I have yet in thine world,” quoth the demon, “by making to appear before you that which men find precious and shall find precious for aeons” – and with that did he create in front of the high priest of the Emerald Isle a mountain of gold where once there was but stone. And was he so impressed that he spake thus - “Oh powerful creature, more powerful than the Gods themselves, if that be thine power imprisoned, then I can well believe that thou hast power beyond imaging at thine disposal, and shall I, one but I am, free thee from thy bonds and claim from thee that which is deepest in mine heart.”
And at length did the demon tell the high priest how he could be freed – and so it was that on the day of the Summer Solstice, as the days grew shorter, when all the high priests and many other druids assembled, and the Highest Priest delivered with their help the chant to pray for a bountiful harvest and continued prosperity, was he from the Emerald Isle chanting as well – though not the chant of his brothers of the cloth. He did chant in defiance of they, but such was the noise surrounding that they did not hear. And he spake the words which the demon had taught him, and, as the moon rose full to it’s height, did it run crimson with blood. The stones began to shake, violently did they shake that the earth itself soon was quaking. Cracks appeared in the sky, and lightning shot towards the stones, although there were no clouds and the air was calm. The druids all did fear and panic, excepting the Highest Priest, and the high priest of the Emerald Isle. The former did call out for calm, knowing that there was still time to prevent the disaster that was to occur – but the latter cast an incantation during the chaos, encouraging the growing fear amongst his fellows.
Such was the chaos, that none save those two could tell when first did the horned demon begin to rise from a mountain that, save for the light of the crimson moon, was invisible – for truly it was not part of this world, but was specially made to hold the demon. Slowly, the mountain shook, cracks appearing on its slopes, as the peak did start to rise – for did the demon, or so it is written, lift it once the seal had been broken, bracing his shoulders against the solid matter and heaving it with great force. Slowly, as if aeons passed, did the demon lift the mount, until the summit did topple back as he stretched fully to his height. He was truly terrifying, with his arms changing from many-headed necks to human, from the paws of bears and wolves to the heads of dragons, lions and griffins. His skin was at once scaly red, and at another instant was a blue flame. The eyes, sunk deep inside its skull, shone fiercely, now black, now brighter than all the stars that are in the sky. He stood massive against the sky, flames from the very core of the earth, or some other dimension, shooting up all around him from the cracks and the whole he had made, as he started to break apart the rest of his prison.
When at once he was free, did he walk towards the panicked mass of druids – and all were afraid, save for he from the Emerald Isle, and the most holy of their order, for he knew what must be done, if only he could inspire in his brothers calm.
“Foul creature,” spake he to the demon. “He that was imprisoned for all eternity for thy crimes and for the good of all that dwell upon this and all other earths, go back to thine prison, lest thy being destroys even thyself.”
The demon laughed, and shattered the sky in one fell blow.
And did the most holy speak again – “Foul creature, vile creature, I command thee again to return to thy prison! For I know well the enchantments to banish thee again, and ye, even to destroy thee!”
“Thou forgets, Mortal,” quoth the beast, “that such incantation requires all of your number, pure of heart – and my presence bespeaks that there is but one who is not. Thou canst do thine worst, but thou shalt fail, for thou hast not power enough to destroy me, nor imprison me – for it took all your Gods to imprison, and all their power was spent.”
“BEGONE!” spake the Holiest. And was for a second, but no more, a brilliant light, as he gathered his Will, and attempted to force back the advancement of the creature. But the creature was unafraid after the initial blast, knowing full true that he could destroy at a glance. “Thy power is weak, Mortal,” he spake, and did, turning one serpentine head from his right arm, cast the eyes o’er half of the assembled as they attempted to flee, and did some turn into stone and were burst asunder, and were others thrown high into the air, landing many miles distant out to sea. And still were some more consumed by invisible flames, and others turned to liquid so vile-smelling that it cannot be named.
The Holiest did turn to look about, and saw he that one was not in panic – and he knew, deep in his heart, that what the demon had spake was true. “Damned fool, no brother to all but his own greed, thou hast condemned all of humanity to eternal hell beyond imaging! What could have possessed thee?”
“Thou art the fool,” quoth his former brother, “for believing that the Gods still lived – they were not true Gods. They could not destroy that which they found horrid – but HE CAN! They can not help make our people stronger, but HE CAN! You are foolish to believe that real strength comes from a pure heart – that does not breed power! It breeds complacence, and complacence breeds laziness! I am the future, and with the wish promised me by Him, shall I rule o’er the world and have power beyond imagining – I shall be like him, a GOD AMONGST MERE MORTAL MAN!”
“So that is thine wish,” laughed the fiend.
“Brother I implore you do not go through with this!”
“All thou must do,” spake the demon, “is say my name and thy wish shall be granted.”
“Is that all now thou art free? I give myself eternally in thanks to thee, great God, for thy name is known to all and wrongfully feared when it should and shall forevermore be celebrated! Thou hast mine thanks, ME’BE!”
And the Holiest groaned inwardly, knowing what his former brother had done. At once was he from the Emerald Isle taken up in the mouth of one of the dragon heads protruding from the hand of the great demon, and far was he flung, until he landed in the very mountain that had once imprisoned Me’BE – for he was a cruel and vicious demon, who would use his powers for his own end. Yet he also was wise, for he knew that he could still have been resealed in that prison should it not already be filled, and there did he imprison he who had freed him, to suffer for all eternity though having the powers of Me’BE – but they serve him naught in the place he is.
And so it was that the demon was freed, and since then hath man suffered ever. Even with the Coming of our Lord, Merciful and Wise, was unable to halt the progress of the demon – for it is said that none may defeat him. Save, however, for a prophecy – that four mortal men, who shall overcome adversity in many forms and from many false-Gods, shall one day meet with Me’BE and there when final battle is joined shall they slay him. And they shall be likened unto the Gods themselves, as they bring in a New ERA of peace and prosperity to the world, and their names shall be rejoiced and honoured forever more.
We can but pray that the day of their coming shall be soon.
[With that, the scene fades, back to the monk, who rolls the scroll back up, and places it inside his habit. He remains with head bowed, before turning to walk stoically and respectfully off screen.
Only to come flying back across seconds later, landing in a sprawling heap on the floor. Walking in from that side we see a very familiar figure – dressed in leather jacket, stone-washed jeans, and with that incredible air of smugness that always accompanies him, Mr Entertainment walks over. As he approaches the middle of the screen, where the monk lays motionless, he bends down, taking up the scroll in one hand. He then pulls on a cord that has remained invisible, and the lights come on, revealing, not some mystical cavern as you might have thought, but a simple room, a sofa to one side, drinks cabinet along the back wall. It’s well stocked with a choice selection of wines, spirits, beers, and even a few Irish stouts. He unfurls the scroll, unaware that the crumpled mass by his feet is… disappearing? In smoke? Yup, the monk is disintergrating in the unnatural light, but the most entertaining man on the planet doesn’t seem to care. He’s too enthralled in the legend of the second coming of Me’BE, reading how he from the Emerald Isle made mistake after mistake in search of legendary powers. And Mr Entertainment is smiling, as he moves towards the drinks cabinet, and pours himself a nice glass of brandy. He swirls the liquid a little, moving over towards the sofa, as we notice the monk has now completely vanished. But let’s not let that distract us, for He that Entertains is about to speak]
ME: Wow… all I can say is… wow. What a story! It has everything! The destruction of humanity, greed, human downfall, and the chance of there being a New ERA for the masses! As legends go, this one’s a lot of fun.
Which is more than I can say for the so-called foot, or leg end, of IrishRed and Message Board Entertainment. Unless of course he’s using the term literally to mean that his skills are the stuff of pure fiction – that’s the only thing he could’ve meant, because otherwise it would imply he’s actually some good and that Chaos and I have something to fear in the Dupree Cup finals.
Yes, you heard me right. The Dupree Cup FINALS. Where no-one thought New ERA of Wrestling would be. Hell, I remember talking to some people who thought this whole thing was a set-up, scripted event designed to put A1E and MBE in the finals, with Empire Pro and NAPW winning the group with New ERA and WZW in quite comfortably before being knocked out by A1E, MBE or NFW. We were way down the pecking order to even get out of the group stages, weren’t we? We had no chance! After all, we were in a group where two on two companies rosters you had the Champion of Champions and the Chad Merritt trophy winner! Who in their right minds would place a bet on New ERA making it this far?
I’ll tell you who – people who appreciate real wrestling. People who want real action, real excitement, real stars…
And real ENTERTAINMENT.
Ya see, we’re now on the map. We’re coming up to BattleBrawl Two, where you can see the Phantom Republican, who I’ve beaten, against Jonathan Marx, who I’ll beat down the line, battling it out for the only World Heavyweight Title that matters. You’ve got Foxx going toe to toe with Karla Starr in a match that shows that women can actually wrestle, despite the best attempts by Lindsay Troy to show otherwise. You’ve got the Battle Brawl match itself, from which we will see who is getting a title shot at an event of their choosing! We’ve got the glitz, the glamour, the ENTERTAINMENT to keep the crowds coming back for more. We’re like a drug, we hook ya, and ya keep coming back for more, because you know ya gonna see the greatest action on the PLANET.
Which is more than I can say fer Majorly Boring Excrement. I mean, what, a company is coming back, and suddenly we’re all supposed ta be afraid? We’re supposed ta be afraid of a guy who spreads himself so thin that he doesn’t bring any ratings ta any of the companies he works fer? Pu-lease. In the unlikely event ya can’t get ta sleep and miss him on one show, ya can turn the channel and see him do exactly the same thing on a completely different one! Is that entertainment? Is that what people wanna see? Do people care about him enough ta tune in to each and every show he’s on because they don’t know what he’s gonna do next?
Answer – nope. They don’t give a rats ass. Some penny-pinching promoters pay him ta appear hoping people might remember his name from someone else’s show, but he doesn’t do anything new, nothing exciting. He adds nothing to a show except another face, and is watering down the entire product as a result.
Which is what makes New ERA so different. Ya’ve got guys like HAL making his break in the industry. Ya’ve got MWG doin’ what only he can do with Krist Blue. Ya’ve got the sickest sonofamutha in Chaos, who can and will tear yer head off fer no reason other than because he can. And you’ve got ME
Mister Entertainment
boostin’ ratings and putting other guys over ta make them look good. Ya’ve got guys and gals with real talent. What do MBE have?
Old names an’ old routines doin’ the same old same old, livin’ offa nostalgia trip. There’s a reason that company went under – the same reason the new Extremely Crappy Wrestling is failin’, or why World Class Whiners will never catch on again – it’s the past, it’s over, it’s done, it’s DEAD! People have fond memories of the legacy MBE once had, but now, it’s a shell of the glory it was, an old racehorse running one furlong too many, wheezing it’s way to the finish line. Ya’ve got guys like Spoiler, who always was a poor-man’s Proppet
[Just then, Proppet appears!!!!! YAY!!]
Proppet: I ARE THE GREEEEEETEST
[And a foot squashes him with a giant SPLAT!! Mr Entertainment looks mildly bemused, but as a professional doesn’t let it bother him too much]
ME: Ya’ve got Hida Yakamo, who couldn’t even get the win over the Snoragon. Hell, I know how good Snoragon is at putting people ta sleep, but if ya can’t even beat that P O S, then ya don’t deserve ta lace up yer boots. Then ya’ve got WhiteNoise – has anyone actually heard from him since the second round? I mean, come on – he didn’t even put his name down fer the third round from what I remember, an’ somehow he’s bein’ expected ta compete against a fed that’s had one hundred per cent representation all the way through, a fed that has yet ta miss a promo taping?
Yeah, an’ I’m the Queen of Sheeba.
Which just leaves good ol’ Crimson Emerald. The guy that thinks some kinda myth is gonna scare me. The guy that thinks he somehow is gonna scare Chaos – come on, I don’t anything will ever scare that guy. Like I said, he’ll tear yer head off fer fun. No need ta ask him, he’ll do it whether ya want him to or not.
Am I supposed ta be impressed by a generic “GRRRR! ME TOUGH!!! ME SMASH!!! ME WIN!!” segment? How many times do ya think I’ve heard the same clichéd crap? Waaaaay back last year, in the TEAM Invitational, Proppet said the same thing
Proppet: [muffled] i are the greeeeeeeeeteeeeeessssssttttt…
ME: He went on an’ on about how he was gonna bring pain that I couldn’t even imagine, how he was gonna tear me a new one, how he was the ultimate destroyer goin’ fer ultimate glory an’ unlimited rice pudding, et cetera et cetera. An’ ya know what? I had ta carry his ass, an’ he found out that even he could be ENTERTAINING in the ring. But he still lost. To a guy who represents ONE fed. To a guy with much less experience in the ring than he had.
He lost to ME.
Mister Entertainment.
[FADE….]
ME: Woah woah woah woah woah there Mister Editor.
[REFADE IN]
ME: That’s better – I know ya wanna get this on the airwaves as soon as possible, but I’ll tell ya when ta cut. The longer I’m on screen the better the ratings, an’ I think the TEAM office wants a lil bit more money, got it?
Now, where was I? Oh, yeah, some over the hill wannabe.
Ya wanna know what’s funny? The guy thinks he’s a legend. I must admit he’d be better off if he was a piece o’ fiction, because then people wouldn’t have ta look at the cold hard reality that all he is is an over-exposed pile of… I wanna say dog **** but that’d be harsh on dog ****. He wants ta know if I understand what I’m up against?
The better question is, does he? Does he understand how much better at hurtin’ people Chaos is? Does he understand how much more ENTERTAINING I am? Does he understand how many people are right now pissin’ themselves with laughter because of the non-threats he made?
I doubt it. That’d require some degree of intelligence, an’ we all know they from the Emerald Isles ain’t got any o’ that. They just make lame excuses, like he’s gonna after he gets his ass kicked. I wouldn’t even place a bet on his partner showin’ up if I were him. Because IrishRed doesn’t understand that he has no chance against us.
So he’s held titles wherever he’s competed? Yeah that’s a lot of feds – but like I said, no-one cares about those places! They don’t care because people like him spread themselves so damn thin.
But I’m startin’ ta sound like a stuck record. An’ that’s Proppet mark Two’s territory.
Seriously though – you can create more pain than I, the ultimate ENTERTAINER on this planet, can imagine? The most creative man walkin’ on land, swimmin’ in sea, or flyin’ through the air? Ya’ll’d be surprised how good my imagination is, buster. Combine that with how twisted Chaos can be, how sick MWG can be – an’ team New ERA of Wrestling has you more than a lil beat.
We got you beat on what we say, an’ got you beat in the ring. We’re original an’ you - you need ta go back and watch those Promo tapes again, I think there’s a bit from him ya’ll didn’t quite rip off yet.
[He smiles, taking a swig from his drink]
ME: You guys – MBE? Yeah, you had a good run in the stone age. You’ve got a legacy, an’ the fans love the nostalgia trip. But this is today, the now – two thousand and six. This isn’t yesterday. This isn’t another place fer you ta ruin by makin’ fans not care. This isn’t some place ta try an’ brag an’ claw at what ain’t yers ta begin with. This ain’t a place ta be greedy – this is TEAM. This is where the greats of today shine, an’ the greats of yesteryear get given a nice final paycheque like Rex Calibre. This is where the New ERA of Wrestling begins, where people understand about ENTERTAINMENT, what it means ta give the fans a cliff-hanger, and are willin’ ta do what’s right fer business. Where people are prepared ta lose, knowing full well their team mates, whilst not as good as they are themselves, are more than enough ta beat the opposition.
This ain’t the time fer MBE. This ain’t the time fer Spoiler, or WhiteNoise, or the Fellacio Blunder, or even IrishRed.
This is the time fer Chaos. This is the time fer HAL. This is the time fer [shudders] MWG. This is the dawning for a New ERA for professional wrestling. It’s time ta move forward, not backwards.
It’s time fer the best ta shine.
An’ that’s ME.
Mister Entertainment.
[He holds a pose for a few seconds, looking straight into the camera, before leaning back on the sofa]
ME: Now you may cut.
[FADE OUT]
A…….men.
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