View Full Version : [4. A1E vs. 5. NAPW] Troy Douglas/Andy Gilkison vs. Bruce Richards/Kyle Roberts

09-26-06, 10:00 PM
One fall to a finish, no time limit.

RP Deadline is Wednesday, October 4th, 11:59:59 PM.

09-30-06, 01:47 PM
(We open on in a dimly lit room, where Stylin' Kyle Roberts and Bruce "The Beast" Richards are sitting on a huge leather couch. Dave Brubeck is playing in the background, and on the wall behind them, there's a poster announcing the Carolina Hurricanes as the 2006 Stanley Cup Champions. Bruce is playing with a cigar container.)

BRUCE RICHARDS: When Kyle and I found ourselves at the winning end of a disqualification last week against WZW's Ice Cold and Hunter McKay, I wanted to unwrap these little mementos right away. Nothing beats a good cigar. I realized, however, that there's a time and place for everything. And what better place than the back room of one of our Edmonton sports lounges for smoking these babies? What better time than when we found out who our next opponents in the Dupree Cup would be?

KYLE ROBERTS: Troy Douglas. Andrew Gilligan-


KYLE ROBERTS: -Gilkison. Part of A1E's star-studded team. Obviously, you two have been factors in your promotion getting this far. Hell, you'd HAVE to be, with the pedigree we've been hearing about for a month and a half. "Oh, A1E's the team to beat! You'd better watch out! You'd better not cry! You better not pout, oh, I'll tell you why! It's because A1E is awesome."




KYLE ROBERTS: Here's the kicker. I've been wrestling for four years, mainly in Alberta and Saskatchewan. You know, above the 49th parallel? I'd like to classify myself as a student of the sport, but to be quite honest, the Dupree Cup's the first time I've ever HEARD of A1E.

BRUCE RICHARDS: Surely you heard of A1E when D! beat every other competitor to take the Champion of Champions belt.

KYLE ROBERTS: Pffft. Like I'd care about the guys that D! beat.

BRUCE RICHARDS: Mr. Amazing is from A1E.

(Kyle Roberts stares blankly at Bruce.)

BRUCE RICHARDS: A1E Triple Star Champion? The guy who got to the finals against D! The man who's scheduled to have a rematch against him in a few months?

(Kyle Roberts STILL stares blankly.)

BRUCE RICHARDS: Yeah, he lost to D!

KYLE ROBERTS: Oh. Well, then. And did Gilky and Douglas show up?

BRUCE RICHARDS: Look, the point is, these are two guys we're going to have to WORK against. And we appreciate you two going out of your way, because anything is better than two no-talent man-children getting disqualified in the first TEN SECONDS because we riled them up so much in the pre-match.

KYLE ROBERTS: Hey, a win's a win.

BRUCE RICHARDS: No! Not when we're trying to please the fans! Not when week in, week out, we're trying to give these people who have never heard of NAPW some of the most exciting matches of their lives! Not when we're being the wrestling wunderkinds in this tournament. Kyle, when Ice Cold tried to hit me in the head with a chair, who lost that night?

KYLE ROBERTS: Them. The bums.

BRUCE RICHARDS: No, Kyle! Well, yes, sure, THEY lost. They ALWAYS lost. But I'm thinking more along the lines of the New Orleans fans. Think of it this way. We finally saw the reopening of the Superdome, which had lain dormant for months. New Orleans was ripe for some good ol' wrestling, and The New and Improved D-X was willing to give it to them! But WZW STOLE that from those fans.

KYLE ROBERTS: Which is why these cigars will be tasting a little bittersweet. Because we don't feel we've EARNED them. I'll be dedicating my cigar (Kyle holds up the cigar labelled "Ice Cold") to D-X being the most dominant team in this tournament so far. Joey Melton and Frankie Scott? Defeated! Ice Cold and Hunter McKay? The less said about them, the better!

BRUCE RICHARDS: And this week, we roll into Washington, District of Columbia, and face off against Troy Douglas and Andy Gilkison. I'll admit, I haven't been paying too much attention to the other teams in this tournament, but that's only because I was focused on turning the NAPW around after and embarrassing first round. Well, we made it out and into the wild card round, so mission accomplished. And now, I get to turn my attention to the men of A1E. I know that the A1E team is a tournament favourite; people in Vegas are saying that the smart money's on A1E. And there's a reason for that: A1E has a lot of talented people. Including Douglas and Gilkison.

KYLE ROBERTS: But you know something? EPW were favourites in this tournament as well. Tom Holzerman himself said they were the odds-on favourite to take our division. But where are they now? They're at home, licking their wounds. And they probably thought they were going to be able to take it easy when they faced NAPW in the second week. We'd lost once before, after all. But they showed just what happens to people when they underestimate the NAPW, and more importantly, when they underestimate The New & Improved D-X. People LOSE when that happens.

BRUCE RICHARDS: Since coming here, The New & Improved D-X has won matches, and more importantly, the hearts of a few fans along the way, who up until now had written off the little federation from Alberta as a joke. Had called D!'s victory a fluke. Had rolled their eyes at the mere mention of "Ravager" or "The Lemondrop Kid" or "The New & Improved D-X".

KYLE ROBERTS: To be fair, I roll my eyes at the mere mention of Ravager.

BRUCE RICHARDS: But now Kyle and I have got fans in cities across the United States, and even in Toronto. People know about the NAPW; people have t-shirts with this guy's ugly mug on it; people are bringing charts to ringside instead of signs. We could get swelled heads about it, but we won't. (Pauses.) Well, maybe we will a little. But we know why we're here.

KYLE ROBERTS: We're here to take the Dupree Cup home to NAPW. One match at a time. We've had it easy for the first few rounds. Now we step up out of the sandbox and go against some actual competition. Now we climb the monkey bars and show the big kids who's the King of the Mountain.

BRUCE RICHARDS: So to you two, we have this to say: good luck.

KYLE ROBERTS: May the best team win.

BRUCE RICHARDS: We're going to give our all in this match, and we know you will too.


BRUCE RICHARDS: Kyle, do I have to explain statistics to you again?

KYLE ROBERTS: Will there be pies again?

BRUCE RICHARDS: Pie charts, Kyle. Pie CHARTS.

KYLE ROBERTS: Last week, you made me actual pies.

BRUCE RICHARDS: That was for dinner with Amy and Tiffany.

KYLE ROBERTS: Well, you kept mentioning ratios when you were dishing it out.

BRUCE RICHARDS: Look, Tiffany's got 60% of the body mass that you do; therefore, she's going to get 40% less pie. It's not rocket science!!!

KYLE ROBERTS: (To the camera.) A1E. I hope we actually have a tough, well-fought match this month. Hell, I'd settle for a MATCH, period. But I'm thinking about all those fans out there that have been dreaming about this for...weeks. And I'm thinking about these (pulls out two cigars). And I'm thinking about how much better they're going to taste when we earn them.

BRUCE RICHARDS: See you next week, boys. (They open last week's cigars and put their feet up as the camera fades to black.)

(Co-written with Bruce Richards.)

10-04-06, 01:27 PM
(Stylin' Kyle Roberts is walking down the streets of Edmonton, with the camera dead ahead. As he walks, he talks directly to the camera.)

KYLE ROBERTS: Man, wouldn't you know it? We're facing off against the glorious! The prestigious! The ULTIMATE A1E! Men who are at the top of their game, Greek GODS among men! But yet, when the New and Improved D-X comes a-knockin', you don't even hear a peep from Andy Gilkison and Troy Douglas. Where's the love, guys? Where's the spirit of competition? You two aren't going to cause a repeat of what happened last round for Bruce and I, are you? I swear, if we have one more team that comes down and causes a disqualification, I don't know what I'm going to do. I know what the fans will do, which is boo their little hearts out against a team who doesn't have the guts to face off against Stylin' Kyle Roberts and Bruce "The Beast" Richards in a true two-on-two honest-to-god wrestling match.

But, because we won't let our fans go away sad, Bruce and I were able to get some screen time with our esteemed opponents in the NAPW studios yesterday. And so I'm proud to present the first of a new series: The New and Improved D-X: One-On-One, with their Dupree Cup opponents, Troy Douglas and Andy Gilkison.

(The video of Kyle fades out and is replaced with Bruce Richards sitting in a leather chair.)

BRUCE RICHARDS: Good evening. We are VERY lucky to have Troy Douglas and Andy Gilkison with us tonight, and I'm going to be asking them questions the fans want to hear. Gentlemen, thank you for joining us tonight.

(The camera pans to two life-sized cardboard cutouts of Gilkison and Douglas. They don't say a word. Because, well, they're cardboard cutouts.)

BRUCE RICHARDS: Our first question comes from Grant Bowering of Edmonton, Alberta. He asks, "What do these A1E guys bring to the table? What's their record been in the Dupree Cup so far?" Excellent question! How do you respond?

(Bruce is met with utter silence. Because, well, they're cardboard cutouts.)

BRUCE RICHARDS: (chuckles) It's not a hard question, guys. However, Grant, I happen to have their records right in front of me here. In Week One, Troy managed to make Jay Smash, this tourney's most controversial character, tap out to his Scorpion Deathlock. Andy powerbombed EUWC's Classy Mike C onto a steel chair for a win. Week Two brought us another Troy Douglas victory by countout against The Sergeant. Andy took the week off. Week Three? Gilkison beat IrishRed in a devastating Dog Collar Match. Unforunately, Troy managed to lose against The Spoiler to snap his winning streak.

So, for those of you counting, that's a record of four wins, one loss. Mighty impressive, and something that Kyle and I realized would be a tough match. Isn't that right, boys?

(Andy Gilkison's cutout tips over and falls to the floor. Kyle Roberts sneaks onscreen and sets the wooden Gilkison upright.)

BRUCE RICHARDS: Our next question is from Tim Rath of Detroit. He asks, "Troy, Andy, you two have never faced off against the four-time tag champs of NAPW. What's your strategy in winning against them?" Excellent question, Tim. Troy, why don't you field this next one?

(Bruce is met by silence again. Gilkison decides to fall over once more.)

BRUCE RICHARDS: Heh. Yes, I guess revealing your plans right in front of us would be kind of a dumb move, wouldn't it? What were we thinking? Oh, by the way, Troy, I must say, up close and personal like this, I can really see why you're at the top of your league. I'd even go so far to say as you've got loads more charisma than some of the other guys we've faced, like Joey Melton. Where's YOUR lunchbox? Ha!

Our next question comes to us from Abbottsford, British Columbia, where Ryan Rog-

(Kyle walks on and interrupts.)

KYLE ROBERTS: I'm sorry, Bruce, this just isn't working. There's no way you can have a one-sided interview session like this.

BRUCE RICHARDS: What do you suggest?

(Kyle smirks. A star wipe brings us to an extreme close-up of some lips.)

VOICE: Well, howdy! I'm Andrew Gilkison! I'm from A1E and I'm on a mission to kick some ass! Nothing but the Dupree Cup for me! Because I'm Gilkiriffic!

(The camera pulls out to show the Andy cutout's mouth removed and Kyle Roberts speaking through it.)

ANDY CUTOUT: This week against the New and Improved D-X, I'm going to debut some brand new Gilki-moves! You'll see the Gilkibomb! The GilkiCutter! And of course, the Swantonison. Follow me to the Gilkilab, where you'll see my new Gilkicarison...son.

(The camera pulls out to include the Troy cutout.)

ANDY CUTOUT: Hey, kids! It's our old friend, and my tag team partner, Troy Douglas! Now, Troy, I'm sure you won't mind, but I'd like you to wear this "Andy Gilkison is my favourite wrestler" t-shirt for our match.

TROY CUTOUT: (sounding a hell of a lot like Bruce Richards) Sounds dandy, Andy.

ANDY CUTOUT: Also, for the purposes of this match, your finisher's called the Gilk-End of the Road-ison.

TROY CUTOUT: Swell! You've got this all figured out, Mr. Gilkison.

ANDY CUTOUT: Ha! I sure do!

TROY CUTOUT: Even though I'm a seventeen-time champion, I'll follow your lead here, Andy.

ANDY CUTOUT: Well, I'm gilki-touched, Troy. I really am. -ison. How the hell have you managed to win seventeen titles when you're barely 30?

TROY CUTOUT: Well, being awesome certainly helps. Ha!

ANDY CUTOUT: Really? It's not because you keep on losing the belts you win?

TROY CUTOUT: Come over here and say that, *****.

ANDY CUTOUT: Well, I'd like to, but I'm currently suffering from a lack of movement.

(The Andy cutout falls over again, revealing Kyle Roberts behind it with a look of chagrin.)

KYLE ROBERTS: God, I should have just sandbagged that one.

(An arm comes from behind the Troy Douglas cutout, and slaps Kyle in the back of the head.)

TROY CUTOUT: What'cha gonna do, Roberts? You're chicken, aren't you?

KYLE ROBERTS: No, Bruce, stop it. The fun's over. My Andy cutout sucks.

TROY CUTOUT: (slaps Kyle again) Who's Bruce? You're dealing with TROY DOUGLAS here! You've reached the end of the road, boy.

KYLE ROBERTS: God, Bruce. If you hit me one more time-


TROY CUTOUT: You're gonna what? Hunh?

(Kyle shakes his head and walks out of the camera line of sight.)

TROY CUTOUT: That's right, jackass! Nobody can beat me! I'm King of the World! No! Even better! KING OF THE ROAD!

(In a blur, Kyle rushes from the side he exited, spearing the cardboard Troy. Luckily, Bruce manages to get out of the way in time, as you hear Kyle yelling off-camera.)

BRUCE RICHARDS: (directly to the camera) And that concludes part one of our ongoing series, The New and Improved D-X: One-On-One.

KYLE ROBERTS: (offscreen) Oh, yeah, Douglas! That's what I'm talking about! You folded like you were made of paper!

BRUCE RICHARDS: (to Kyle) He IS made of paper. Let me help you up.

(Bruce walks offscreen as we fade to black.)

10-04-06, 11:23 PM

Troy Douglas stands in front of a blue curtain somewhere in a back hallway of Drumlins Golf Club in Jamesville, NY. He looks harried but smooth, wearing a black pinstriped sport coat over an untucked royal blue shirt and dark slacks. In the background, we hear a lot of white noise, seemingly that of the waning moments of a party. Douglas takes a drink from the glass of red wine next to him and sets it down before looking at the camera.

DOUGLAS: Pardon me, folks, for not saying something earlier. Cross-continent flights plus contract negotiations plus fundraising events plus homecoming at the old alma mater makes for a lot of difficulties when trying to pull a camera crew together. But, however late in the proceedings I may be, I am here, and trust me, I am focused.

Bruce, Kyle, I'll freely admit to not knowing who the two of you or the rest of NAPW were until about 6 weeks ago. I don't need to apologize for that, I don't need to be chastised for that, you just weren't on my radar. That's the truth. But, when it comes to it now, now that you're the two standing across the ring from me and Andrew Gilkison as we all stare elimination in the face, well, we'll just say you've made it onto the radar screen.

Bruce, Kyle, I've got nothing but respect for what the two of you can do in that squared circle. I've done my homework, and I know that you two bring something to that ring that Andy and I won't. Familiarity. You two work together on a daily basis, but Andy and I? We've barely met. On that alone, you two are right to be confident. You two are right to believe you've got some sort of innate advantage in this one.

But don't be so foolish as to think you can be cocky, make fun of us, tarnish our reputations.

Oh, wait. That's what you just did. And it was SO funny, too.

You can have as much wild, wacky Conan O'Brien fun as you want too, that doesn't mean it has a point. And it doesn't mean that a damn word of what you two said was true.

Yeah, guys, I've won 17 titles over the last six years. I happen to be pretty damn proud of that fact, and I think I've earned that right. And for the record, kids? I never "lost" most of those titles. The wrestling world's a fickle business, and sometimes, the bottom falls out pretty quick. But I earned each and every one of those championships, and that number next to my name means a hell of a lot more than a poorly executed comedy sketch.

But, forget about the numbers. Forget about stats and records. It's like Twain said: "there are lies, damn lies, and statistics." I'm not calling anyone a liar, but if you come into this match leaning on the numbers alone, leaning on your assumptions alone, then the "New and Improved D-X" won't be selling anywhere other than late-night infomercials on cable access in West Nowhere, Montana.

Because that's what you're living on, boys. Assumptions. You assume Andy and I don't pay your company the respect it deserves. You assume I can't carry a championship around my waist with pride. You assume that I'm going to play second fiddle in this one.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong again. I may not be A1E's poster child, I may not be the golden boy, but I'm not the lackey and the grunt. I'm not the rich kid's enforcer, I'm not the one to stand silent and step aside. I came here to make a statement, certainly for A1E, but more importantly, for myself. I play second fiddle to no one. I'll gladly stand up there right beside Andrew Gilkison, but it'll be shoulder to shoulder.

And it'll be at the top of the podium, just a few weeks from now. The train's still rolling. I see no reason to stop now.

That's it, kids. See you at the end of...

Aw, screw it. No need to give you two any more bad joke fodder. I'm out.


10-05-06, 10:51 AM
(Kyle Roberts is at the Edmonton International Airport, sitting in an uncomfortable chair.)

KYLE ROBERTS: Troy, my friend. It's nice to hear from you. Bruce and I were afraid that we'd be completely going into Washington D.C. flying blind. I'm truly, TRULY sorry if you were mad at our little play yesterday. Thing is, we do stuff like that to rile our opponents.

Looks like it worked. Now don't get me wrong, Bruce and I respect you for making it this far. Because this is where things start to get interesting. And nothing says interesting like an opponent that wants to make an impact as much as we do.

It's very easy to get overshadowed by the more charismatic man. Nothing against Bruce, but he'd be the first to agree that he's been taken as less than a threat because Stylin' Kyle Roberts tends to stand out more. But when we get in that ring, are you watching our for the strong, silent type, or the brash talker? If the New and Improved D-X has done its job right, you're watching me. Which is when Bruce strikes.

We are simply tag team specialists, and that's something you're right to acknowledge. But when it comes to the Dupree Cup, we're looking at hitting the semi-final rounds. Do we want it more? Maybe. Are we going to get it?

Hells yeah.

INTERCOM: Flight 644 to Toronto is now boarding.

KYLE ROBERTS: That's my call. I'd better find Bruce and get him on that plane. I'll be seeing you two in the ring very soon.