View Full Version : [4. A1E vs. 5. NAPW] James Irish vs. Lloyd Rees

09-26-06, 09:57 PM
One fall to a finish, no time limit.

RP Deadline is Wednesday, October 4th, 11:59:59 PM.

09-29-06, 11:45 AM
~Tuesday Night. After Champion of Champions, D!, through NAPW Provincial Champion, “The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees to the dogs on the last episode Tuesday Night Fights we open backstage in the locker room area of Edmonton’s Polish Hall. Lloyd Rees is pissed and with good reason. Lloyd’s manager, Ol’Salty, tries to calm down the longest reigning Provincial Champion in NAPW history as the camera closes in close enough to hear the Newfie duos words.~

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Dis is f**k’n bulls**t! I can’t believe da jacka**, D!, left me in da ring fer Kyle Roberts and Thomas Young t’have d’ere way with me…We had d’hat match won too, thanks t’me, but D! had other tings on his mind…not win’n . Well, D! better reconsider his outlook on win’n cause when we go one on one in d’hat Ironman Match on October 11th at NAPW Hostile Hangover, yer go’n t’be look’n at da only man in NAPW Histor…

Voice: Blah blah blah blah blah…You sound like a broken record Rees.

~Lloyd turns to look to see who the voice is coming from. The voice is coming from one half of the four time NAPW Tag Team Champions, Kyle Roberts. Roberts is also the man that just pinned Lloyd in the middle of the ring.~

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Ya got some nerve come’n back here Roberts!

Kyle Roberts: What’s wrong Rees? Your head still ringing after Emerald Fusion?

~Lloyd readies himself for a fight, but Ol’Salty stands between the Provincial and Tag Champions.~

Ol’Salty: Now hold on fer a minute Lloyd. If Kyle had the balls t’come back here, he must have something he wants t’say. What ya got Roberts?

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Ya Roberts, what da hell do ya want?!

Kyle Roberts: Well, if you would calm down for a minute, I’d tell you why I’m here. And Christ, eat a breath mint, you stink of cod liver oil…

~Kyle Roberts cockiness enrages Lloyd even further.~

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Get t’it Roberts! Yer waste’n me valuable time!

Kyle Roberts: Rees, I know that we don’t really see eye to eye here in the NAPW, but in TEAM it’s a bit different…

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Oh…Now I see where dis is go’n. Looks like da Team NAPW needs another victory in The Dupree Cup so, it’s time to call in da big guns, the finish’n piece of da puzzle “Da former NAPW TV Champion, three time, present NAPW, and longest reigning Provincial Champion, da only man in NAPW history t’win matches via pinfall, submission, top-rope elimination, count-out, knock-out, first blood, ladder, and a casket full of ketchup, da only man in wrestle’n t’make Rex Caliber tap, “Da East Coast Sensation”, “Da Lemondrop Kid”, da one and da only…LLOYD REES!!”.

Kyle Roberts: Holy s**t Rees! Don’t you ever get sick of listening to yourself…?

~Rees shrugs his shoulders.~

Kyle Roberts: This is the deal Rees, Bickle is out and you’re in! You got James Irish from A1E!

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Listen pal, ya know d’hat I’m up fer defend’n da name of da NAPW any day, and t’tell ya da truth I don’t give a f**k whose on da other side of da ring from me. James Irish is go’n t’learn, just like Steven Shane did; d’hat “Da Lemondrop Kid” is da premiere wrestler in dis business t’day. So Kyle, at least we’re guaranteed one win in dis round…

Kyle Roberts: Rees, we all know you can talk the talk, but let’s not see your match against Irish end the same way our match ended tonight!

~Kyle Roberts turns and walks away from The NAPW Provincial Champion, who calls out to the exiting Roberts.~

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: I hope ya enjoyed get’n da big win over me t’night Roberts, now ya can say you pinned the NAPW’s biggest hitter, but don’t tink it will ever happen again…

Kyle Roberts: Whatever Rees! Just bring you’re A-game to The Dupree Cup…

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Don’t worry yer pretty little head about d’hat Kyle, James Irish is mine…

~Scene fades.~

09-30-06, 08:53 PM
James Irish and Erin Flanagan are seen walking out of their hotel room. Both are in their usual duds, though James has, oddly, a few tags hanging from his green flannel shirt. He doesn't seem to notice, though.

JIrish: All right, finally. Now that Golden Dreams, and the accompanying promotional blitz A1E decided to over-book me for, is finally over, I can get back to the TEAM tournament. I'm glad we've made it to the finals, too. This is going to be what finally puts A1E in the elite status amongst the numerous federations out there. So, who's the freak of the week, Erin?

Erin: Well, ye've got a spirited one this time, James. This Lloyd Rees is as brash as they come, and is pretty quick t' sing his own praises, including having won through, of all things, a casket full of ketchup! I know I've nevah heard of such a thing!

JIrish: A casket full of ketchup... a casket... Good Gawd, man, why am I not competing for NAPW??? If a big old corpse carrier filled with condiments is fair game there, it almost sounds like home to me!

Erin: Come on, we don't know if he's bein' serious about that. But then, the way he was bragging, who knows?

JIrish: Alright, so before I get too far ahead of myself in wacky ideas, I'd better let this guy know one thing, and one thing only. I am not, in any way, shape or form, "his." I-

James sticks up his right arm to point at the camera, and notices a tag on his sleeve. He stops, grabs it and reads it out loud.

JIrish: Property of Lloyd Rees. Heh.

James rips off the tag.

JIrish: Now, as I was saying, I am not-

James suddenly notices another tag on the bottom button of his flannel shirt. He looks at it, sighs, and rips that off, too.

JIrish: Someone is trying to be the fly in the ointment. Now, where was I... oh, right, standard wrestling trash talk. The Lemon Drop Kid does- hey... don't tell me there's one on my shoe!!

James bends over to pull it off as Erin chuckles a little. James notices it as he's getting up, and suddenly Erin looks a little sheepish.

JIrish: Jeez Louise, Erin, don't tell me this is your idea for a gag.

Erin: Well, I thought it'd be cute t' play around with his words like that.

JIrish: I will admit, this was a cute play on what he said. Certainly I've done gags like it before. Damon Blackburn still won't let me live down that fairy costume. But at least warn me next time you try something like this so we can, y'know, coordinate our effort. Believe me, if I'm in on the gag from the get-go, then we can run with it better. Mmkay?

Erin: Alright, lad, you got it. Anyhow, we should go find some NAPW PPVs on DVD or other compilations with this guy on them so we can start studying his tactics.

JIrish: Right. Let's go.

James starts to walk off, and the camera follows him to show a sign on his back saying "Lemon Drop Owns Me." Erin winces.

Erin: Oh, no! I forgot about that one! James, wait!

Fade out as Erin takes up pursuit.

10-02-06, 12:31 AM
~Wabana, Bell Island, Newfoundland, Canada. We open inside the home of NAPW Provincial Champion, Lloyd Rees. Lloyd is sitting back on his couch drinking an India Pale Ale while, manager, Ol’Salty is place a tape inside the player. Ol’Salty speaks as Lloyd heads to the fridge to grab another beer.~

Ol’Salty: Lloyd! I picked up dis tape fer ya t’watch…

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Want a beer? What’s da tape?! Highlights of me NAPW career?

Ol’Salty: Now come on Lloyd b’ye, dis is a tape of da A1E Superstar, James Irish. We need t’check him about befer ya guys go head t'head in the TEAM tournament…

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Oh come on Salty me ol’cock! Why da hell do we got t’watch matches of some a**hole who ya know I’m go’n t’school?

Ol’Salty: Dis is important stuff here Lloyd b’ye! We got t’represent da NAPW t’da best of our abilities. Christ! After October 11th you’ll be NAPW Heavyweight Champion, and ya don’t want t’have a loss t’one James Irish on yer prestigious resume do ya?

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Well…Hell no! Ok, lets watch dis s**t but I can’t guarantee d’hat I’m go’n t’be able t’stay awake…Ya want a beer?

Ol’Salty: Sure…It’s start’n!

~The Newfie duo takes positions on the couch in front of the TV. The first few matches go by, as do the beers. After about forty five minutes of watching a plethora of James Irish matches and even more beer, Ol’Salty turns to Lloyd.~

Ol’Salty: Ya know someting Lloyd?

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: What's d’hat?

Ol’Salty: Ya we’re right! Dis is a waste of time! Hell, we could be down on George Street right now partying like crazy, instead we’re sit’n here watch’n da worst matches I’ve ever seen in me life.

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: I told ya Salty! After ya seen me matches, watch’n dis is like watch’n grass grow…

~Lloyd, face serious, turns to the camera and starts to speak.~

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Listen up Irish! I don’t know who ya faced in dis tournament befer ya had da complete pleasure of facing “Da Lemondrop Kid” but, tings are about t’get a little different fer ya. Yer now go’n t’get da opportunity of a life time t’face da top wrestler in da business t’day. A man d’hat makes history day t’day. In fact…

~Lloyd pulls the NAPW Provincial Title off the coffee table and cheers it with his beer bottle.~

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: I’ve held dis title fer a record seventy-six days…Oh, but I can here ya now! I don’t care what dis guy has done in da NAPW! Dis is TEAM! Well, let me tell ya d’hat it doesn’t matter where I am, NAPW, TEAM, A1E, Canada, Mexico, USA, Japan, Neverland, Wonderland, or f**k’n Timbucktoo…James, talk yer s**t and play yer foolish games with yer little pal Eric Flanagan all ya want, but yer look’n at yer worst nightmare when it come to match time, “Da former NAPW TV Champion, three time, present NAPW, and longest reigning Provincial Champion, da only man in NAPW history t’win matches via pinfall, submission, top-rope elimination, count-out, knock-out, first blood, ladder, and a casket full of ketchup, da only man in wrestle’n t’make Rex Caliber tap, “Da East Coast Sensation”, “Da Lemondrop Kid”, da one and da only…LLOYD REES!!” And, soon t’be added to d’hat resume, da man d’hat schooled James Irish in da 2006 Durpee Cup!

~Lloyd jumps off the couch, hits the fridge and grabs another beer. Opening the beer, he looks toward Ol’Salty.~

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Ya know Salty, we could catch da last ferry t’da mainland and head Downtown t’George…

Ol’Salty: Let’s roll…

~The evil Newfie duo grabs their coats and head out the door. Lloyd turns back to the camera before shutting the door.~

“The Lemondrop Kid” Lloyd Rees: Oh Irish…Don’t get t’worked up about face’n “Da Lemondrop Kid”, everyone got t’lose sometimes…

~Lloyd shuts the door as the camera fades.~

10-02-06, 10:08 PM
The nation's capitol. In terms of political atmosphere, it's not an exactly perfect place. But for culture and heritage... look no further than the Smithsonian, one of the favorite places for James Irish to visit. Right now, he and the lovely Erin Flanagan are browsing through the culture section. She's off in the background admiring some of the original Muppets, while something has managed to catch James' eye...

JIrish: Hey! Erin, come take a look at this!

Erin: Aw, c'mon, lad, I'm still enjoying the Jim Henson stuff. I've wanted t' see the original Kermit the Frog in person fer years!

JIrish: Well, I'll join you in a moment, but you won't believe this. There's a box of Lemon Drops right here, next to the puffy shirt from Seinfeld! What's this doing here with the more modern... oh, wait. It's just some kid's random garbage they disrespectfully left as litter in one of our greatest national institutions. And it's also a pathetic transition for me to talk about my opponent in the Wild Card round again.

So... Mr. Rees. Apparently, you don't know what I've done. You don't know who I've faced. You don't know Erin's name, hell, you called her a man's name. And you seem to show little to no interest whatsoever in actually learning what I can do. The only thing you know is an opinion. You're so convinced you can beat me, when... you don't know jack.

I'll tell you what I know about you. You're actually one of NAPW's highest ranked guys right now. Which means you're in there hanging with the likes of D!, a guy who, as one of the major supporters of Jess Chapel's entire TEAM concept, is someone who I know is more than just a reputation. He's the real f'n deal. And you're right up there. Now, in the wrestling business, people love to deflate, deny and generally disregard anything that makes them look weak, or at least less strong. Not me. I'll admit, I'm pretty damn impressed by what it seems you've accomplished for yourself, even, no, ESPECIALLY in the face of your flagrant attitude of not caring.

And for a wild card round, no less.

Erin: Lad, why are ye soundin' so indignant? I mean... the less concerned he is, isn' it gonna be easier fer ya t' get the upper hand?

JIrish: You'd like to think so, wouldn't you? But, no, it doesn't always work out quite that way. Sometimes, a cocky jackass-

Now, give me just a second. This is actually a very technical term. "Cocky Jackass" isn't something you apply to just about anyone. Just about anyone in this business can be described as cocky, you know. It's a sport of egos, we all know this. And jackass, well, no locker room is really complete without at least 1 or 2. But a proper "Cocky Jackass" needs to have at least three qualities.

1) He sings his own praises very readily. Our esteemed Lemon Drop kid has actually gone so far as to organize his achievements into a routine that I've been subjected to twice now. And while I'm still fascinated by that casket of ketchup thing, it's already old.

2) Ridiculous pet names for people. One guy who was once a co-worker of mine once got so bad with this, I needed a scorecard to keep track of who he was referring to half the time. I think Mr. Rees calling one of his friends a cock is sign enough.

3) Gives himself a nickname that no one else would dare take seriously. Come on... Lemon Drop Kid??? My annoying 8-year old nephew who asks me millions of questions, about 750,000 of which have nothing to do with each other, could do better than that!

Erin: This from the man who calls himself the Mad Genius.

JIrish: You keep talking like that, and I'll tell them what you call yourself.

Erin blushes a deep crimson, and she backs off.

JIrish: As I was saying, sometimes these guys will surprise you how well the handle a situation they could really care less about. In fact, you did hit one truth, as your kind usually manages to stumble onto. "Everybody has to lose sometime." And believe me, it's happened to me at some of the most crucial of junctures. But of all times, it cannot happen now. MBE embarrassed my while I was occupied with contractual obligations. So now, I blatantly refuse to allow it to happen again. But before that can happen, NAPW has to tumble down first.

Which means dropping the Lemon Drop Kid right on his head. What you and your buddy Salty called boring... most guys I meet in the ring call the worst headache of their lives. I'd actually love to hear what you call it post-match...

For now, though, a break. Lead the way, Erin.

The duo walk back to the Jim Henson exhibit... Fade out.

Y'know, that reminds me. I never did get to face that Windham guy...

10-03-06, 12:23 AM
~We open at Edmonton's Polish Hall, moments before NAPW Lethal Lottery is ready to get kick started. "The Lemondrop Kid" Lloyd Rees is on his way out to the ring, NAPW Provincial Title and Republic of Newfoundland flag in hand. He's stopped before he heads through the curtain by NAPW backstage interviewer, Josh Reynolds. Reynolds begins to talk.~

Josh Reynolds: Lloyd! Can I get a few words?

"The Lemondrop Kid" Lloyd Rees: What do ya want dis time Josh?

Josh Reynolds: Well, I was wondering if a could get a few words about your TEAM match against James Irish.

~The mention of Irish's name brings a scowl to Lloyd's face. He throws the NAPW Provincial strap over his shoulder, grabs the mic from Josh, looks in the camera, and starts to speak.~

"The Lemondrop Kid" Lloyd Rees: James, t'tell ya da truth, it's not d'hat I don't know what ya have done, it's da fact d'hat I don't give a rat's a**!! And da reason I called yer a bi**h a man's name is cause I though she was a man. Hell, why don't ya take a second look at her, she might have a bigger d**k d'han you do...I simply convinced d'hat I can beat you cause I'm da best dame wrestler in dis business, da technical terror, and just because ya like t'hear me resume so much, “Da former NAPW TV Champion, three time, present NAPW, and longest reigning Provincial Champion, da only man in NAPW history t’win matches via pinfall, submission, top-rope elimination, count-out, knock-out, first blood, ladder, and a casket full of ketchup, da only man in wrestle’n t’make Rex Caliber tap, “Da East Coast Sensation”, “Da Lemondrop Kid”, da one and da only…LLOYD REES!!”

"The Lemondrop Kid" Lloyd Rees: Now, ya have got one ting right about me, I'm cocky. But, ya know someting I've told an a**hole much like yerself befer d'hat confidence fuels cockiness. Sure, d'here are plenty of cocky, crappy, wrestlers out d'heir but dis is not da story here. I've been all over Irish, I've beat all kinds, and yer no different from da rest of da Larrys d'hat I've destroyed in da past, except...d'here is one difference, ya don't know what's come'n...Ya can do all da research ya want, watch all da movies ya can get yer hands on, and hang out with all da transvestites ya can find, but d'here is no way ya can be ready fer our match up until it's to late...

"The Lemondrop Kid" Lloyd Rees: "Everyone has to lose sometimes". Huh?! Not "Da Lemondrop Kid"!

~Lloyd slams the mic back into Josh Reynolds's chest just as Ol'Salty walks on the scene.~

Ol'Salty: Ya ready t'tear up da Lethal Lottery Lloyd b'ye?

"The Lemondrop Kid" Lloyd Rees: Just as ready as I am t'stomp a mud hole in Irish's a**!

~Scene fades as Lloyd Rees and Ol'Salty walk though the curtain.~