View Full Version : [NAPW vs. WZW] Bruce Richards and Kyle Roberts vs. Ice Cold and Hunter McKay

09-11-06, 06:36 PM
No time limit. One fall to a finish.

RP deadline is Monday, September 18th, 11:59:59 PM.

09-13-06, 02:06 PM
(Fade up on an NAPW banner where Bruce "The Beast" Richards and Stylin' Kyle Roberts - The New and Improved D-X - are looking directly at the camera.)

KYLE ROBERTS: Well, it's Week Three here in the Dupree Cup round-robin, and it's been quite the ride. I've travelled more this month than I have in the past year! Memphis the first round, Atlanta the second round, Calgary for a wedding this past weekend, and next week, Bruce and I are heading to New Orleans to finish off our Southeastern tour by beating the hell out of our next opponents, Hunter McKay and Ice Cold!

BRUCE RICHARDS: Last week, when I was chosen to join Kyle and represent NAPW in this tournament, we made a vow to win this Cup one match at a time. So far, so good. The esteemed Joey Melton and Frankie Scott couldn't stop us. And the two men from WZW won't be a factor either.

KYLE ROBERTS: Let's take a look at the Dupree Cup resumes of our competitors, shall we? Bruce has gone through the trouble of preparing some charts.

(Bruce pulls out a 11"x14" semi-gloss vinyl bar graph.)

BRUCE RICHARDS: As you can see, along the bottom of the chart, we've got different examples of endgame scenarios here: Submitted. Pinned. Disqualified. Bitten by Venomous Reptiles. You know, most of the ways that matches usually end. Ice Cold, represented by the gunmetal blue bars, has entries in both the "Unconscious While His Opponent Exited A Cage" and "Submitted" categories.

KYLE ROBERTS: Luckily for Ice Cold, this match isn't taking place inside of a fifteen-foot-high STEEL CAGE! Unfortunately, there's the BearTamer he's got to deal with. So submission's still a very viable option.

BRUCE RICHARDS: Hunter McKay, represented by these bland tan bars, has both "Submitted" and "Looked On Stupidly In Shock As His Tag Team Partner Gets Them Disqualified By Using A Foreign Object In Front of The Referee," or as I put it for the purposes of saving space, "Dumb Luck."

KYLE ROBERTS: Another submission? Yes! I can 'Tame EITHER of these chumps. Granted, there's also the Emerald Fusion to get the pinfall, or your Chart Attack F5! Or else, we could do it the tag team way and give them a Down and Dirty they'll never forget! So many options to beat these two!

BRUCE RICHARDS: It'll be another match that paves the way towards NAPW clinching the Dupree Cup. The vow we made, winning this thing one match at a time? This week, we aim to ensure that Hunter and Ice Cold do not break this vow.

KYLE ROBERTS: (clicks his tongue) Wouldn't want to be you two come this weekend. (Kyle turns to Bruce.) What say you? A lunch at Earl's?

BRUCE RICHARDS: The pan bread is definitely worth the trip.

(Kyle and Bruce walk out of frame making their lunch plans, leaving the NAPW logo in the background until we fade to black.)

Bruce Richards
09-14-06, 03:38 PM
(The New & Improved D-X are sitting in a darkened room on an old leather couch. The light from the table lamps obscures a clear view of the place, but there's a state-of-the art stereo system playing some Oscar Peterson Trio, and there are some sports posters on the walls, one of which says "Carolina Hurricanes - 2006 Stanley Cup Champions". Bruce and Kyle are savouring two fine-looking cigars.)

KYLE ROBERTS: Afternoon, sports fans! Bruce Richards and Kyle Roberts here, NAPW tag team champions and all-around swell guys, coming at you LIVE from a popular Edmonton pub that will remain nameless!

BRUCE RICHARDS: We'd love to plug the name of the restaurant - one of our good friends owns it and god knows he wouldn't mind the extra business. But he could get a nasty fine if it was found out that we were smoking in his establishment. Ever since Edmonton's non-smoking bylaw came in, it's become increasingly difficult to enjoy a fine cigar. You see, every time Kyle and I celebrate a monumental victory, I like to treat us to a cigar and a fine drink. And after our victory against Scott and Melton last week, we certainly deserve a cigar.

KYLE ROBERTS: It wasn't a hard match to win, but we did have a hell of a time carrying those two future rodeo clowns in the ring to make the match exciting for the fans. Now I don't like to smoke too often, because apparently lighting dried grass and inhaling the smoke directly into your system can be BAD for you on a semi-regular basis, but it is nice to relax and enjoy the aroma of a fine stogie.

BRUCE RICHARDS: "Fine stogie"? Those two words don't go together. That's a terrible juxtaposition.

KYLE ROBERTS: You mean like Hunter McKay and Ice Cold?

BRUCE RICHARDS: (Gestures to his partner.) Kyle Roberts, ladies and gentlemen. Master of the segue.

KYLE ROBERTS: Those two guys are like oil and water. Sure, you add a few spices and it makes a nice salad dressing, but you have to add a binder so that the oil and water don't separate, and then you need to make a salad because who eats salad dressing just on its own?

BRUCE RICHARDS: If I can jump in for a moment--

KYLE ROBERTS: I was trying to make a point. Ice Cold and Hunter McKay just don't mix. Ice Cold, the lone wolf, the man who walks alone, "The OutKast Legend". Who's cooler than being cool? NOT Ice Cold. I'll give you a Power-Bomb Over Bagdhad, mister!

BRUCE RICHARDS: Kyle you're trash-talking the wrong guy.

KYLE ROBERTS: Face it, guys: ain't nobody dope as us!

BRUCE RICHARDS: Kyle! Ice Cold isn't the outcast legend. That's Wolf.

KYLE ROBERTS: Oh. Right. Sorry, I was confused. But really, it's an easy mistake to make: they’re both lame duck wrestlers who have problems with a little thing like teamwork. When a guy who's facing us in a tag match comes out and admits point blank that he's no good when he works in a tag match, well, that's the kind of thing that a guy like me just gets down on his knees and thanks GOD for.

BRUCE RICHARDS: And Hunter McKay. You're a 12-year veteran, you've held more titles than Kyle and I put together. We should be in awe of you. But somehow...I just can't do it. You see, we've already put down one old man who was long past his prime, and he had a LUNCH BOX. Far as I can tell, all you have is an inferiority complex and a history of in-ring injuries for me to exploit.

KYLE ROBERTS: I held the Dream Championship once too! I beat Hulk Hogan, Mr. T, and the Kool-Aid Man in a no-holds barred submission cage match! It was brutal; there was red fluid everywhere. My title reign was cut short, though, by WAKING UP.

BRUCE RICHARDS: If you two are the best WZW can throw at The New & Improved D-X, then we might as well start scouting other wrestlers. The idea of the two of you in a tag match is LAUGHABLE.

KYLE ROBERTS: But Bruce, Hunter & Ice Cold were in a tag match! Earlier this week, even!

BRUCE RICHARDS: Really? Did they win?

KYLE ROBERTS: Uh, yes and no.

BRUCE RICHARDS: Yes and no? What does that mean?

KYLE ROBERTS: Well...they were on opposite sides.

BRUCE RICHARDS: You mean we're facing off against two guys who just beat the living hell out of each other three days ago? (Pulls a box out of his satchel.) We should just smoke the next two cigars now.

KYLE ROBERTS: That's a little premature, isn't it?

BRUCE RICHARDS: (Sighs.) You're right. I'd hate to get such a swelled head that I start counting my chickens. (Turns to the camera.) But make no mistake, Hunter, Ice Cold: we WILL take you down next week. Every victory in this tournament on the way to the Dupree Cup is important. Each match pits The New & Improved D-X against the best the North American wrestling community has to offer. So far, I've not been impressed, and it doesn't look likely that I'll be impressed in round three either. But the point's the same: there's talent here, and when we actually go up against them, these will really mean something. And with every victory, the next cigar will taste even sweeter.

KYLE ROBERTS: You see, Bruce didn't just buy two cigars last week. He bought a whole box. Because he and I both know that we're going to be doing a LOT of celebrating over the next few weeks. And every cigar in this box has someone's name on it. (Pulls two out of the box, still in their metal containers.) These are for you two. The rest, who knows? I just hope they're going to be more impressive than WZW's offering.

BRUCE RICHARDS: One match at a time, The New & Improved D-X will lead the NAPW to the Dupree Cup. And if we have to go through you two to get to the real talent? Then so be it.

(A waitress pops her head into the back room.)

WAITRESS: If you gentlemen are ready, the proprietor is waiting for you in the main room with a complimentary Full Caliber Nacho Platter.

KYLE ROBERTS: Cigars and free nachos! Today's a good day.

BRUCE RICHARDS: (To the camera.) This week, just like the past two weeks, everyone's going to be talking about NAPW. Picking up steam and well on our way to winning the Dupree Cup.

KYLE ROBERTS: By any means necessary.

(The two men get up and leave as the camera zooms in on the two unopened cigars Kyle left on the table. The names "McKay" and "Ice Cold" are engraved on the cases. Fade out.)

09-19-06, 12:23 AM
(Edmonton. A dusky Sunday evening. It's overcast, and Bruce "The Beast" Richards and Stylin' Kyle Roberts are standing beside a large automated funeral home sign which alternates between the time (currently 7:33) and the temperature (1°C). Bruce is dressed in a London Fog overcoat, Kyle in a fleece jacket.)

KYLE ROBERTS: Grrr. Quite the chill here in Edmonton. You can tell that fall's upon us, here. It's strange, since last week, before the rain and the clouds moved in, I was barbecuing burgers on Bruce's porch. Now? Hell, it might as well be November.

BRUCE RICHARDS: We're out here on this chilly night because it serves as a fitting metaphor for our tag team opponents, Hunter McKay and "Ice Cold" Sanket Desai. Because they have left us out in the cold. Seriously, guys, what's happened here? Are you hiding until our match, plotting ways to destroy the two men who will use your loss to catapult NAPW into the semi-finals of the Dupree Cup? Have you decided to no-show in New Orleans? That's hardly a way to treat guests from above the forty-ninth parallel. It's our first time visiting Louisiana. It's going to be nice to actually be able to visit the French Quarter instead of tending to injuries after our match, but there's a certain amount of honour that falls to the wayside if you have no vested interest in our match.

KYLE ROBERTS: I'll say! McKay, Desai: Look at the past two matches I've had. In the first week, it was Ravager and I against Chaos and HAL. Sure, I'll admit it, we lost. But we gave it our all, and it ended up being a contender for match of the tournament! Second week, the debut of the New and Improved D-X to the TEAM crowds, and we were a house on fire! Joey Melton and Steven Shane couldn't hope to contain the two of us, and we started a meteoric rise to the top of our new fans' hearts. Week three, what do we have to look forward to? A two minute squash. The TEAM fans don't want that! It'd be like seeing the elephant sit on the animal trainer at the circus for a good ten minutes. Sure, you'd laugh at first, because, hey, a guy in pain is hilarious. But then you'd feel pity for the dumbass who's going to end up in the hospital. After a while, you'll start to think "Why the hell did I waste money on this?"

BRUCE RICHARDS: A good match is a two-way street, boys. Sure, the New and Improved D-X will do their best to make Ice Cold and Hunter look like kings, because, hey, if there's one thing that fans want, it's for the men in that ring to not suck. But as we've demonstrated over the past week, there's only so much you can do to make your opponent look good when your opponents are only going to phone it in like they did last week, and the week before that.

KYLE ROBERTS: No, Bruce, it's totally cool. We can use this as a wrestling workshop for two man who OBVIOUSLY need it. A seminar that will end up with a Beartamer on Desai. If I saw a guy who needs to tap something fierce to my awesome submission skills, it's that guy. Although I'd really be happy to see you give Hunter McKay a Chart Attack. Either that or a double underhook facebuster. That would be fun. I guess what I'm asking is, would you slap the handlebar mustache off McKay's face?

BRUCE RICHARDS: I could be persuaded, I guess. We'll find what my mood is like come our match in New Orleans. A lot of contempt for those representatives from War Zone Wrestling could easily be mustered if they continue to remain off-camera. Enough of standing outside. Which restaurant do you want to visit tonight?

KYLE ROBERTS: Meh. I'm tired of going out for food. It seems like that's all we DO these days. Although I could use a hot chocolate about now, and I'm sure you're in the mood for a coffee.

BRUCE RICHARDS: Kyle, when am I NOT in the mood for a coffee? Lead the way to Second Cup.

KYLE ROBERTS: (about to leave, he turns back to the camera) Hey, guys. Do us a favour, okay? Don't embarrass us any more than you already have. Let's just say that given the way things have been going, I'd be pleasantly surprised to see you two in the ring on time. Keep it professional, okay?

(Kyle and Bruce turn around and walk up the street towards the much busier, brighter Whyte Avenue as the camera fades to black.)