View Full Version : [EPW vs. WZW] Joey Melton vs. Brian Stinberg

08-18-06, 03:59 PM
One fall to a finish. No time limit.

Deadline for RP is Friday, August 25th, 11:59:59 PM

08-24-06, 04:34 PM
(FADEIN: Joey Melton in front of a TEAM EPW backdrop.)

MELTON: Brian Stinberg, a lesser man would cave and take the time to learn who the **** you are. A man NOT of my upbringing or genetic talent, sinful good luck, and tree stump dick would do a background check on the WZW to no doubt uncover the fraud you almost have to be. Where is Matt Lauer? Where's Waldo knocking down my door with hidden cameras and special
victims unit waiting in the trimmed brushes? I'm no idiot. Friend to all animals and prolific campaigner to stop unnecessary product testing on animals, but no idiot. I'm going to walk to the center of that ring, shake your hand, and then take a pie to the face. The lights will raise, and Eric Estrada, fellow pink Elephant trainer and friend, will ham his way into the scene, mic in hand, telling me, "Joey Melton relax this is NOT your life."

The single most entertaining wrestler in the world today, Brian, does NOT know your name. Nor will he take the time to half-ass his way through a few holds and take the photo-op with you.

Joey Melton in TEAM.

WZW....God bless you.

Someone ****ing sneezed and you apparently if you're to be taken at face value have a weekend job. That's great. Maybe that sells in dumb**** USA, the Hinterlands of professional wrestling, but i'm not buying.

I know I'm better than this.

Eric...roll my footage. The clips I've been specially preparing for the last twenty years for a moment just like this. A ten minute reel of my greatest hits, and boy Howdy there have been plenty, to be played to me over and over again when I eventually fall from grace. It happens so fast. One minute you're wrestling on a Cruise ship in front of hundreds, sending a midget through a section of a buffet line for the World Junior title, the next, you're well, rubbing elbows with anal plumbers and tapeworms of wrestling. I know this would be a huge victory Brian. It'd make that post match Meth high really mean something, but I won't be tanking this match. The one thing stopping me from finding the nearest bridge and ending it before I fall deeper and show up in MBE or some **** league like that... well, it's being a part of TEAM EPW.

Tell me Brian...have you ever been on a lunchbox? Sold in retail stores right next to the Powerpuff girls, and the three *****es from "Charmed?"

Have you ever rolled your wrestling buddy a doobie and smoked a bowl together? Actually that's sort of the thing you would do you sick **** if you had a wrestling buddy made in your likness. But you haven't. Maybe your grandmama stiched your initials "S-H-I-T" on the back of your trunks and sent you out of the house all "grow'd up" but you don't know the he joy and the hell of being marketed. Having to smile at EVERY ****ing face. Having
to promise EVERY single cancer patient that yeah, you'll win that World Title for them. And if you can do that, they can win a second lease on life. Fifty percent of the time, they die before you have to grovel into the owner's office for a World title shot, but the point is Brian, you've never even been in that room to make a false promise.

I have.

Joey Melton first suggested Pluto wasn't a planet.

We all ****ing knew it wasn't, didn't we?

No, you didn't Brian. You looked in the sky, saw a big bright light and thought, "One day i'm taking my kids there on vacation."

Nice. Go spend a week on a piece of rock nobody loves anymore. I called it years ago, because I see things nobody else wants to see. I'm a realist Brian.

I'm Joey Melton.

You're some farm boy who's always wanted to join the Academdy with Biggs and Farmer Ted. It's not that you hate the Empire I've become..it's just...you don't understand it. And the responiblity I have to being this great, night and day.

TEAM EPW = LUnchboxes and personalized E-cards on the Internet.


Maybe you should fill in the blanks, Bobby.

Our TEAM EPW footwear just arrived and I wanna try it on. This is third time it's been redone. They thought I was kidding when I said I wanted seashells painted on, and the sound of the ocean piped in through a headset.

What does that say that I'm having more trouble being dressed properly than I am with this match?


Bryan Stinberg
08-24-06, 11:10 PM
]-Scene-[ The scene opens inside of the TEAM Wrestling Headquarters. A silver Porsche 911 Turbo had pulled up into the parking lot. The car stopped next to the valet parking as one of the valet staff walked over to the drivers side opening the door as a man dressed in street attire stepped out of the vehicle tossing his keys to the valet who quickly caught them. ]-Scene-[

||:.:|| Bryan Stinberg ||:.:||

”Yo, don’t scratch the car ya hear me!“

]-Scene-[ Bryan pointed at the valet before making his way inside of the Headquarters. As he stepped inside the building a fellow staff member soon greeted him. ]-Scene-[

||:.:|| Staff Member ||:.:||
“Hello sir, welcome to TEAM Wrestling Headquarters. You must be here for the Dupree Cup?"

]-Scene-[ Bryan looked at the man with a look of stupidity and started to shake his head and laugh at the man. The man seemed a bit confused and Stinberg said to him. ]-Scene-[

||:.:|| Bryan Stinberg ||:.:||
“Nah dawg, I thought this was some kind of Chip & Dale strip club lookin’ at yo punk ass!“

]-Scene-[ The guard looked a bit sad by the comments made on his ‘sexuality’ and Bryan just chuckled as he looked at the man saying to him... ]-Scene-[

||:.:|| Bryan Stinberg ||:.:||

“Yo what the hell is the Dupree Cup or whatever the hell this **** is?“

||:.:|| Staff Member ||:.:||
“Well um, its an open invitational tournament. Wrestlers from many different federations come together to fight for the Dupree Cup.“

||:.:|| Bryan Stinberg ||:.:||
“So this **** is like that RoughKut Invitational?“

||:.:|| Staff Member ||:.:||
“Well, yes it is sort of like that.“

||:.:|| Bryan Stinberg ||:.:||
“Well who the f*ck am I facing punk!?“

||:.:|| Staff Member ||:.:||
“If I’m not mistaken sir your opponent is a superstar from EPW. His name is none other than Joey Melton.“

||:.:|| Bryan Stinberg ||:.:||

||:.:|| Staff Member ||:.:||
“Umm, Joey Melton sir.“

||:.:|| Bryan Stinberg ||:.:||
“Who the f*ck is Joey Smellton!?“

||:.:|| Staff Member ||:.:||
“Umm, sir its pronounced Melton...“

||:.:|| Bryan Stinberg ||:.:||
“Don’t you ever f*ckin’ correct me punk, do you know who the f*ck I am!?“

||:.:|| Staff Member ||:.:||
“Well actually, no I do not.“

||:.:|| Bryan Stinberg ||:.:||
“HOLY ****! What f*ckin’ cave do you live in *****?! I’m a ******* living legend jackass, how in the f*ck don’t ya know who I am. Do you ever read books, watch TV, anything?!“

||:.:|| Staff Member ||:.:||
“I don’t watch wrestling.“

[||:.:|| Bryan Stinberg ||:.:||
“Of course you don’t all ya like to watch is gay porn with your little f*ck buddies, man get the f*ck out of my way!!“

]-Scene-[ Bryan pushed the man out of his way. The guy was shoved back a couple of feet as Bryan made his way down the hallway of the headquarters. He passed by a couple of people who were watching Joey Melton’s latest promo on television and Bryan stopped and watched everything that he said. After awhile Bryan started to laugh and shut off the TV as everyone looked up at him as he did so. ]-Scene-[

||:.:|| Employee ||:.:||
“Hey man I was watching that!“

||:.:|| Bryan Stinberg ||:.:||
“Yo I don’t give a **** about that crap! I mean all I hear from this ***** is how he appeared on a damn lunchbox. For what, being a f*cking queer?! I don’t give a **** about you being on a ******* lunchbox. I’ve been on the cover of magazines, I’ve been on talk shows, and hell I even stared in movies!

Hell all throughout this *****es promo I couldn’t understand one damn thing the punk said, all I heard was **** about a damn lunchbox. But than I hear this *****-talking bout some sick **** like rubbing elbows with anal plumbers and tapeworms of wrestling. This ***** is as sick as that faggot staff member I met earlier today.

Hell the ***** even talks bout how his grandma stitched his initials "S-H-I-T" on the back of his f*cking trunks, now what the hell is this *****es problem? I mean first its having anal sex with his wrestling buddies and now its **** with his own grandma. God damn this punk is one sick motha f*cker. Hell I am scared as f*ck now to even step in the damn ring with this queer. Hell the ***** might try to rape me! But that **** won’t happen since this ***** is gonna get punk’ed out! I don’t know what kind **** ya do in your gay wrestling federation but ya ain’t doing any of that anal **** on me ***** because I plan on f*ckin’ yo ass up, not in the way your thinking ya sick f*ck but I plan on punk’ in yo ass out! Bryan Stinberg, eWo, ya can’t touch this!“

]-Scene-[ Bryan taunted Joey Melton as the scene slowly faded black. ]-Scene-[