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View Full Version : Television Title: Entertainment v MWG (c) - Marco Polo Match



TheOriginalSE
06-28-06, 01:38 PM
All RP for the Television title Marco Polo match between MR ENTERTAINMENT and MWG (c) at RAUCOUS should be done in this folder. Any RP posted outside of the folder will not count.

* This is a Marco Polo match... both men are blindfolded.

The RP deadline is 11:59pm on Wednesday, July 5th. Angles should be sent to secandido@san.rr.com ..

NotorisSTD
07-05-06, 01:42 PM
(FADEIN:….to the scary dark ally every promo used to take place in. It’s 4AM Tuesday morning, and who should stumble into the frame but KRIST BLUE. Our girl here has NOT been taking good care of herself. She’s gone from standard skinny to dangerously thin, her jeans and faded girly size “Tiger Army” T-shirt haven’t been washed in some time and have odd little stains all over, she’s got big sores along her lips, dried blood all around her nostrils, her face has broken out, and also she’s wicked drunk. She’s in a bad way, believe me. It's wicked sad. You cry now. Tragic, tragic. She collapses against a trash can, and lights a cigarette..)

KRIST: Life is lonely, boring, and dumb.

(Krist glances across the ally…and notices a lanky homeless man, dressed in rags, no shave or haircut in six months, flies all over 'im like one of those starving African kids, passed out against a dumpster…)

KRIST BLUE:…..(stares blankly at homeless guy)…..Oh…my….(pokes the carcass with her foot)………Em….?

MWG: (jerks awake) Whu…?…Gah?….Zah?…Arhba…(tries to stand, but keels over and throws up some purple stuff, a lot of which hits Krist’s shoes. She doesn’t mind.)

KRIST BLUE: (jumps up) Ohmigod, it IS you!! (gives MWG a big gooey hug) Thank gawd!!! I was sooo like, scared you were dead or something!!!!

MWG: (wipes purple vomit off face) Ergh…Uh…Krist? Where am I? How did I get here?

KRIST: You’re in the ally behind Good Times.

MWG: The pool hall 'n arcade?

KRIST: Yeah, we used to come here to blow guys for meth.

MWG: But…last thing I remember, we were at your place, and Ashlee Simpson was there, and Felix was there, and uh…

KRIST: That was last year.

MWG: Seriously?

KRIST: Yeah. You disappeared like, six months ago. I wasn’t getting paid by NEW anymore, so I got kicked out of my apartment, and I’ve been sleeping in train stations and couch surfing, eating garbage and whoring myself out while I tried to find you ever since.

MWG: Oh honey, I’m so sorry.

KRIST: Eh. It wasn’t so bad.

MWG: Have I missed anything else?

KRIST: Uh…..Ooooh, Paris Hilton and Nichole Riche aren’t friends anymore. And Tom Cruise went crazier and married Katie Holmes. And Dave Chapelle also went crazy, so his show is ended. The original creators of Gilmore Girls got kicked off their own show, so next season is gonna suck.

MWG: ‘kay.

KRIST: And you’re somehow still NEW Television champion.

MWG: How is that possible?

KRIST: Donno, but you’ve got another match against Mr. Entertainment coming up.

MWG: Who’s that?

KRIST: Some guy. I think you beat him before.

MWG: Well, that’s pretty good. I guess. Uh….Do you have any money?

KRIST: Ah, no. But I bet you do! You had, y’know, a bank account and stuff.

MWG: Hey, that’s right!! All this time I've been giving three dollar handjobs at stop lights, I could've just gotten some money from the BANK!! I REMEMBER NOW!!! (stands, and dusts himself off. His rags all fall off, and in comes the blurry edit thing over his naughty area) Come with me, my trusty heterosexual girlfriend!! No more living in the sewers for us!! It’s back to the high life!! Cash Money Bank Guns!!! (CUEUP: “Theme from Entourage”…) Because I’m not really an insane homeless prostitute!! I’m a famous professional wrestler!!

KRIST: Hell yeah!!!

MWG: And while I’m not sure how I got those two things mixed up, I shall embark on a mission to figure out why I can’t remember the last year, and also to beat up and maybe have sex with anyone who challenges me!!! Because I am sexy and brutal!! I am-

OFF CAMERA VOICE: SCREWED!!!

(A figure jumps off a nearby rooftop and hits MWG with a steel folding chair. Em falls over as the figure lands on his feet…)

KRIST: Hey!! That was mean!!!

MASSACHUSETTS GOVERNOR MITT ROMNEY: You’re going to PAY for what you did to me, you prissy, no-talent, mid-90s shock rock throwback piece of trash!!!

KRIST: Mitt?!?! How could you do this? This won’t help you become president!!! Em is adored by the American people!!!

(Mitt turns to face Krist, and we see his eyes resemble that of some kinda werewolf/vampire cartoon thing…)

KRIST: Wait…you’re not Mitt!!! Mitt would never hurt Em! Not unless he was being controled...Ohmigod, You’re…

ROMNEY: That's right. I demonically possessed the governor, so I could finally lose my virginity.

KRIST: (gasps)….Johnny?!!….No!! But you weren’t a virgin!!

“The child prodigy” JOHNNY HAVENS: Actually, I had never had sex with a woman before, so I kinda was. Sorta. By taking over a Mormon, I got to marry like, 6 broads, and have them all at once. It was sweet.

KRIST: Oh. Keen gear. But why are you doing this?! Em was your friend!!!

HAVENS: If it wasn’t for him, I never would’ve started doing PCP, which is what killed me sorta. Now I’m back from beyond the grave to totally f(bleep) Em’s sh(bleep) up!! And maybe become president!! And now I’m gonna double arm DDT the bejesus out of you, ‘cuz it’s okay for ghosts and governors to beat up girls!

LITTLE JIMMY URINE (off camera): You’ll do no such thing, honkey bi(bleep).

HAVENS: What the…

KRIST: Oh wow!!!

(On the other end of the ally, JIMMY URINE, STEVE RIGH?, LYN-Z, and KITTY, collectively known as the rock ‘n roll band MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE are posed down, ready for action…)

URINE: My sister Lyn-Z here detected a shift in the undead dimension with her psychic powers. I thought she just smoked some back resin, but it looks like she was right after all.

LYN-Z: Told ya.

KITTY: CRACKER POWERS, ACTIVATE!!

RIGH?: Argabargle!!!

(Steve points his guitar at Havens/Romney)

JIMMY: His ax doubles as a photon pack, mahfucah. We’re gonna get all exorcism crazy.

RIGH?: Ergahzarhapmuahmuah!! PU$$Y!!!

(Righ hits a power chord, and a burst of photon energy nails Haven/Romney right in the kisser…)

HAVENS: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (“KA-BOOM” The now ghost free Mitt Romney falls backward onto his ass.)

MITT: Oh, wow. What’s going on?

URINE: Don’t worry Mr. Governor. You were possessed by the angry, undersexed spirit of a dead professional wrestler. But everything’s going to be okay now.

MITT: Ah. I totally hate when that happens. Thanks guys. And America thanks you.

URINE: Just doing our job, sir.

MITT: (notices MWG and Krist) Well, if it isn’t my two favorite citizens! What are you guys doing here?

MWG: (recovering from massive chair shot) Well, Krist and myself were getting ready to piece our lives back together after I lost a year's worth of memory and we both became derelicts, before you attacked us.

MITT: I am so sorry. Here, have a Romney in ’08 button.

(Mitt hands MWG a button that reads “SCREW MASSACHUSETTS”)

MWG: Sweet. (MWG pushes the pin through his nipple.) Ow.

MITT: Oh my god, didn't that really hurt? Why did you do that?

MWG: Beats me.

URINE: I’m sorry Mr. Grossard, but you need to come with us. That nasty ass phantom might come back, and we have to solve the mystery of what happened to your brain. Like most rock stars, we’re also paranormal detectives.

LYN-Z: Yeah. We think it’s some kinda f(bleep)ked up multi-verse conspiracy. Whole buncha other whack ass nonsense has been going down in the astral plane.

KRIST: Ooooh, are we gonna get to hang out in the Cracker-Cave?

KITTY: You betcha.

(Krist does a happy dance)

MWG: You guys will hook me up with some clothes, right? Maybe some grooming? Some hair products?

MITT: Hey, can I come along and help? I’ve got all kindsa messed up powers.

URINE: Sure thing, Mr. Governor....Or should I say, Mr. President?

MITT: Alright!! (high fives MWG)

LYN-Z: So it’s settled then. Hold on everyone! I’m going to use my ability to create portals in the time/space continuum to take us to the cracker-cave. It’s gonna be cool…

(Lyn-Z plays a basic blues scale on her bass, and a big scary multi-colored hole opens up in the wall…)

LYN-Z: Everybody jump though!!

MWG: We’re all gonna have sex when we get there, right?

URINE: Natch.

ALL: YAY!!! CASUAL SEX is the B-IZ-OMB!!!

(the entire party jumps into the portal one at a time, while Lyn-Z keeps playing her scale, and once everyone is through, Lyn-Z herself jumps through…)

TO BE CONTINUED….

EpyonMarx
07-05-06, 03:26 PM
[The screen is black. Softly, calmly, a piece of music with a marching beat (http://www.tolkientrail.com/rivendell/ff3over.mid) starts up. As the story that follows is read by a deep, resonant voice, it is also played out on screen for your enjoyment]

V/O: This is the story of a time long ago. A group of friends, tired of the boredom of their village cock-fights, did journey forth on a whim, hearing of a legendary power called







Entertainment






They knew not where to find this great thing, but they journeyed nevertheless, inspired by thoughts and dreams of the mystical power of





Entertainment






The journey was long and perilous. They journeyed through the grey hills of A1E, and found nought. They journeyed through the vast wastelands of EPW, and found not that which they did seek. They journeyed unto the ends of the Earth, before they finally found the place they had dreamed of - the place where they would finally find




Entertainment




But lo, they were met at the gates by a wizened old man, whose beard pronounced he was of great age, being as it was the very colour of age.

“Beware,” spake the man. “For this is New ERA of Wrestling. Though thou comest here in search of the greatest power in all of Wrestledom, know that thy path with be more perilous than anything thou hast yet encountered. For here, closest to the great power, lie challenges and tricks designed to fool you into following a false power. Many are they who would seek to distract you from your quest, and they are more powerful than the Beast. They are more powerful than the Dragons, and infinitely more powerful than the Jesters and their associates thou hast already overcome.”

But the travellers were unafraid by the words of this man. Thanking him, they did journey still onward, into New ERA of Wrestling. And first they did meet an elephant wearing a mask, who did try to bore them with talk of politics. But they were young, and they were smart, and they knew that politics was not the power for which they had travelled many moons. Next, did they meet a group consisting of three letters, who did seek to warn them a from further travel. First, did the group consisting of three letters tell them of a great monster who could suck the very life out of any enclosed arena. But our travellers were unafraid of this monster, whom they knew already to have sulked back into his cave after his defeat at the hands of the elephant of politics. Then, did the group consisting three letters tell them that they controlled the next stage of their journey, and would make their lives difficult if they could not get their hands on a treasure corrupted first by the monster, and now by the elephant of politics. Still, our travellers were unafraid, and did laugh heartily at the group consisting three letters, and did the group consisting three letters slink away in shame, for they knew then that they were ineffective and boring.

And so, the group continued their travels. Long was the journey still, but they finally made it to what they knew to be the last of the challenges that awaited them. Standing before them was a comely beauty, whose hair and skin were of the deepest blue. She was a ravenous beauty, the type rarely seen in all of Wrestledom. Next to her, was a man in a dress, taking draughts from a medicinal flask, whilst one hand sought shelter beneath the dress. His eyes they noted were glazed, and from his mouth did come such speech of sexual exploits that were, to look at him, ridiculous. For he was no beauty like his female companion. Our travellers stood a time, as the blue skinned beauty walked towards them.

“Oh,” spake she. “Look, friend Emily. We have guests.” And did she lead our travellers by the hand towards her companion. “Would you like to watch me perform the traditional rites, for verily I know that thou cannot keep thy sceptre rigid for longer than five beats of the heart, and I am so lonely in worship of my desires.”

“Do as thou wishest,” quoth her companion. “For my mind is weak, thou my green candle is but a stump, and I need only imagine myself in their place, and thus am I contented.” And so, the blue skinned one did lead the travellers to the road side. Gently she did stroke her supple hand over their chests and arms, choosing one from the group, and she slowly dropped to her knees.

“BEGONE FOUL WHORE!” a voice boomed from further up the path. “FOR THESE TRAVELLERS HAVE NO NEED OF THEE OR THY SEXLESS FRIEND. KNOW THAT IF THOU CONTINUE IN THY ATTEMPTS TO TURN THEM FROM THEIR QUEST FOR THE TRUE POWER, THOU WILLST FIND THYSELF BEING RAVAGED FOR ALL ETERNITY, WITH NO FEELING TO TELL THYSELF OF THE HAPPENINGS. BEGONE FOUL WHORE!”

Suddenly, the blue-skinned woman did hiss, her beauty leaving her. Our travellers, who had been so close to giving in to the temptation of a false power, did shrink back as she and her companion transformed into serpents - the male a very short, smelly, stunted serpent. As both did slither away, a brilliant white light shone from further up the path. And did the travellers venture further up the path, until they were surrounded in the brilliance of the light, a deep peace filling their hearts with joy. And verily, did the voice which had boomed at the serpents speak again.

“THOU ART SAFE. FOR THOU HAST SEEN THE TRUE FACE OF THE FALSE POWERS, AND THOU HAST NOT SHIRKED IN THY QUEST. THOU HAST FOUND WHAT THY DID SEEK. BECAUSE TRULY LIFE IS ABOUT ONE THING, AND ONE POWER. THE POWER OF






ENTERTAINMENT”





And there, in the light of Entertainment, did the travellers see all of New ERA of Wrestling in all its glory and splendour. No more were the serpents, or the group consisting three letters. Gone too was the elephant of politics, the sailor, and the madman. What remained was Entertainment, and the many more travellers did seek the lands of New ERA of Wrestling. And they were all, to a single man, woman and child, happy beyond all human scope for the word. For they had embraced the true power of life. They had embraced






Entertainment





[As the music plays to a crashing crescendo, we FADE OUT]

NotorisSTD
07-07-06, 01:01 PM
(CUEUP: “Pay for it” by Mindless Self Indulgence…)

(CUTTO: The CRACKER CAVE, which is actually Jimmy Urine’s plush ass ghettofabulous apartment somewhere in New York City…EM DUBBAYA GEEEE is sitting on the couch, NEWLY PRIMA-F(Bleep)KING-DONNA-ED up, with a massively large faux-hawk dyed purple, giant fake purple eyelashes, blue eye shadow, black lip stick, a big pink feather boa, absurdly tight jeans, and a Johnny Cupcakes T-shirt…Our M.C. is smoking a cigarette, watching the latest Mr. Entertainment promo on Urine’s giant ass TV…KRIST BLUE, who’s also cleaned up and much healthier looking, is in a black leather mini-skirt and an “The Faint” shirt, sitting on Em’s lap…)

“the surreal”
“the IT boy”
“the American Idol”

EM DUBBAYA GEE:……….(stares blankly at the TV screen)……….

KRIST:…………..(also stares blankly)…….

MWG:…………What the hell are we watching?

KRIST: I donno. But I think Mr. Entertainment said I was pretty. He’s nice.

MWG: Delicious.

KRIST: Remember that time we went to the Renaissance Festival?

MWG: Yeah. That sh(bleep) was tight.

KRIST: HUZZAH!!!

MWG: HUZZAH!!!

MITT ROMNEY (walks in wearing a towel): HUZZAH!!! Hey lover.

MWG: Hey bi(bleep).

(Mitt Romney falls into MWG’s arms, and they start making out relentlessly. Krist gets a little squished, so she slides off Em’s lap…Then she talks to the camera)

KRIST: Um…Yeah. So anyway, no one here in the Cracker Cave knows what Mr. Entertainment’s last promo thingy was about. We all thought it was kinda gay. But that was it. Lyn-Z couldn’t figure it out, and she’s got spooky psychic powers. Mitt didn’t know what it was about either, and he’s like, really smart. He’s run Massachusetts for a while, he ran the Olympics one time, and pretty soon he’ll be president of The United States, just like Abe Lincoln and Ronald Reagan. Not like George Bush though.

MITT (on the couch, with Em’s head up his towel): Uhhh….

KRIST: See? Not like George Bush. I was on vaca in Japan one time, right? I was in downtown Tokyo at the Maniac Love club, and who’s there? The Bush twins. So, we’re like, “Y’know, Hi, what’s up, lets do some body shots off each other,” so we did and after a while they start telling me about how their dad complains that their mom gives terrible head. Which is sad. But Em gives great head, as you can see, and that’s why Governor Romney will make a kick ass president if elected.

Anyway, I should mention that I give great head also. Y’know how gay guys are always going on and on about how guys give better head than girls, ‘cuz they know how it feels? Well Em tells me I’m as good as any guy who’s ever blown him. Right Em?

MWG: (still under the towel) Aughawha…(gags slightly…then gulps loudly) ugh. Yeah. Serious ass. Good blow jobs.

KRIST: The BEST blow jobs. So ah…Mr. E? Ooooh, that kinda sounds like “mystery?” That’s a way cooler name….You should stick with that….Anyway, y’know, keep what I just said in mind? Maybe when you’ve got some time to yourself? (blows kiss)

MWG: Oh, gawd…okay, I’m gonna havta salvage this one.

(MWG gets up from under Mitt’s towel, and walks over to the camera to talk and stuff. Mitt, spent, lies down on the couch and minds his own business for a while. MWG pulls a hair out of his teeth before lighting another cigarette…)

MWG: I’d be pissed my valet is trying to f(bleep) my opponent, but I’m too busy blowing famous people to care. Mr. Entertainment, you may have your “good ‘morrows,” and “prithies,” and “yoo-hoo-hoo me maties,” or f(bleep)king whatever, but I didn’t get to be TV champion for this long by knowing how to make a leather mug. I actually have no idea how I got to be TV champion for this long, but that’s not the point. The point is I have mad sexy wrasslin’ skills. I beat Maelstrom one time, and that meant something like five years ago when Maelstrom was still a big deal. Then he went crazy, disgraced himself, and got blacklisted from wrestling forever, but that’s not the point either. I've been blacklisted from wrestling so many times by now it's a little silly, but EYE'M still here, aren't I? And I'm blowing more famous people than EVA BEFO!!!

KRIST: So what is the point?

MWG: The point is I fight the same way I f(bleep). See that guy on the couch over there? He couldn’t handle my beej. I sucked him off so good his eyes budged out of his head, and now he can’t move or talk so good. That’s what I’m gonna do to you, Mr. Entertainment.

KRIST: Yeah, me too.

MWG: Except not with my mouth. With my FISTS. And maybe later with my mouth, if you’re into that sort of thing. No pressure or anything, but you gotta admit that would be hot. But first things first. I beat you senseless, drop you on your brain, keep my TV title, and then maybe we’ll fool around. Krist will be there too, so it won’t be all the way gay. Unless you want it to be all the way gay.

KRIST: I don’t want it to be all the way gay. Only kinda gay.

MWG: Fine, whatever.

MITT: Good lord. Does it ever occur to you people that all this compulsive fornicating might be indicative of a complex of some kind? Like, maybe you have massive self esteem issues, so you have to constantly objectify yourself to deal with other people? Have either of you even met anyone you DIDN’T try to sleep with?

(awkward pause)

MWG: Just ugly people.

KRIST: Yeah.

MITT: You both had crappy childhoods, huh? Mommy and Daddy didn’t love you? It’s okay. You can talk to me. I will heal your wounds with love and understanding. Just like I do with Democrats and Republicans in the state senate.

MWG: Hey, SHUT UP slut!!! You’re in no position to complain.

MITT:….just sayin’ is all.

MWG: Yeah. So remember, Mystery, I may be blindfolded during our match, and I like it better with the lights on, but I’m still gonna smash you up good, to the tune of faggot….faggot….ffffffffaggot…

(All four members of MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE run into the room…)

LYN-Z: Em!!! My bass guitar detected the rift in the space/time continuum that caused your memory loss!! Two dimensions of reality melded together!!!

URINE: Yeah. Sh(bleep) was trippy.

RIGH?: Whoobahbahmuah.

MWG: Wow. That’s kooky.

LYN-Z: Yeah. Did you know you have a long lost sister?

(Mitt, Krist, and Em all gasp in shock…)

MWG:…..Is she hot?

URINE: She’s a foxy tomato.

MWG: Is she also a compulsive fornicator, because she had a bad childhood?

KITTY: We believe so, yes.

MWG:….Delightful.

(FTB)

EpyonMarx
07-07-06, 06:02 PM
[FADE IN. A crowd of reporters is gathered outside the Nassau Coliseum in New York, as a limo drives up. The crowd gathers round as security pushes it’s way through, opening the door for a leather jacket wearing New ERA superstar. Security then opens a gap for the wrestler to walk through, all the while the crowd of reporters shouting questions for him. He ignores them as he walks, gym-bag over his shoulder, through the door to the backstage area, two more security guards barring the press who are trying to get in. The scene then shifts to the backstage area, where we see Mr Entertainment walking through to the lockerroom. As he reaches the door, the angle shifts, so we see him entering - and standing just to the edge of the camera is another man, one NWL and EPW followers would recognise as Matt Matteson]

ME: The hell are you doin’ here?

MM: Hey, sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if I could get a few words from you about tonight’s match?

ME: Who the hell are ya?

MM: How silly of me - I’m Matt Matteson.

ME: Never heard of ya. BUT, since ya’ll went to so much trouble to get in here, I can spare ya’ll a few minutes.

[Mr Entertainment walks over to the bench, dropping his bag on the floor, and sitting down casually. Matt pulls his camera over to get a better angle, and sits down opposite Mr Entertainment, sitting in silence for a few moments]

ME: Well?

MM: Hm? Oh, sorry. I’m just a little awe-struck being here, I’ve been trying to get an interview with you for months now.

ME: Ya’ll must’ve been trying very badly if it’s taken ya’ll this long. What you wanna know?

MM: Well, firstly, tonight’s match is a Marco Polo match, known in some circles as a blindfold match. I was wondering what your thoughts were going into such a match.

ME: My thoughts goin’ into this match? A match made by Dope Ready Effluent Drilling Dickwads? It ain’t no big deal for me as a wrestler - but I gotta wonder, did I get sent back to the nineteen eighties or something when Krist hit me with that dildo? I mean, if this is the best that Johnny Dumb and Johnny Dumber can come up with when they’ve got the power ta make the card, I gotta rethink management’s usual bookin’ policy. Even Tommy coulda a better card.

MM: Tommy?

ME: That deaf dumb an’ blind kid? Sure plays a mean pinball?

MM: [looking blank]

ME: Jeezus… no wonder ya couldn’t get an interview withou’ sneakin’ around. The film, Tommy? The song by The Who?

[Matt still looks blank]

ME: Never mind. You’d haveta have something in between yer ears ta understand. Ya’ll been hangin’ around MWG? He has that effect if ya ain’t careful.

MM: I see.

ME: Well, goin’ back to ya question. I think it’s not gonna make a scrap of difference what kinda match that group made. So what if they’re stuck in the eighties? I’m the one person on this roster who could take any title I wanted whenever I wanted to. I’m just timin’ it right - buildin’ the drama. If I went through and beat everyone on the roster like it was nothin’, then the show would start ta get boring. About the one good thing the Snoragon said for his match against Bollockov was that the fans need ta be entertained - the more they’re entertained, the more people come in through the door. The more through the door an’ watchin’ at home, the bigger the paycheques. The bigger the paycheques, the better for everyone associated with the company. I know how good I am, and I know that tonight if I wanted to, I could walk away with that title like that [he clicks his fingers]

MM: Are you that confident? What I mean is, some people might see that as you covering yourself in case you lose.

ME: Moi? Are you really that dumb?

MM: Riiight… I was wondering as well how you’re going to deal with Krist Blue being at ringside - she’s going to be able to shout out and tell MWG where you are.

ME: It don’t matter what Krissy does. She ain’t gonna be able ta help the freakshow, because he’d have ta be conscious ta hear her. An’ that, my friend, will only be the case as long as I decide.

MM: So, you’re confident about taking the title tonight?

ME: If I want it, it’s mine. Come on, how many defences has he made since he won it back?

MM: … I’m not sure.

ME: Probably more than ya’ll can count to, but anyways. Ta the best of my knowledge, he’s had the chance ta defend it four times. He’s had two defences. NOW… that’s in a year. The strange thing about the NOTV title is it can only be defended on TV. An’ because of the walkin’ freakshow, we keep getting pre-empted. SOMEHOW, he thinks that makes him a great champion. I dunno how, but we all know he ain’t alright upstairs. Maybe someone blew his head wrong. But does he sound like a great rep for this company to you?

MM: No.

ME: You do have some braincells? Remarkable. Anyways, I might decide ta take the title tonight, or, if I think it’ll boost ratings, I might let Emily keep the title just one defence more. That’s the kinda guy I am.


MM: OK. Now, one final thing - about the TEAM invitational

ME: [interrupting] Doesn’t matter. It’s the past. It don’t have any relevance, because I let the Snoragon win.

MM: You let him win?

ME: Yup. Ya see, I know the fans boo me. I knew Suckyerbollockov had made the final, an’ the fans don’t like him. So, I gave the fans a final where they could cheer someone they liked, an’ let him bask in the glory as the happy ending played out. It’s the same as in the movies - send the crowd home happy. It was the end of the tourney, so I gave the fans a happy ending. I’m a charitable guy like that, and I knew they’d made a bomb already by me just makin’ the final. But that was then, an’ this is now. Honestly, anyone would think ya’ll were related ta Cameo an’ Emily the way you go on abou’ the past. Remember, Cameo had beaten me a couple times last year, but did he win last time we met? Nope. Is some mild case o’ too many beans in this match fer Emily ta sneeze on? Nope. Each match is somethin’ new fer the fans ta witness, and THAT’S what brings the fans back. Now, if’n ya’ll could get outta my lockerroom, I’ve got some people ta entertain.

MM: Would Krist Blue be one of them?

ME: If she’s interested in wrestlin’ me after the match one-on-one, she can come an’ talk ta me abou’ it. [he winks at the camera]

MM: Right. Thanks for your time.

[Matt picks up his camera and leaves the room. Mr Entertainment opens his bag, takes out some tape, takes off his jacket, and begins taping his wrists, smiling to himself as he does so. FADE OUT]