View Full Version : MAIN EVENT: World Title - Republican v Rabesque (c)

09-11-05, 02:05 AM
All RP for the World Title match between THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN and JEAN RABESQUE (c) at RAUCOUS should be done in this folder. Any RP posted outside of the folder will not count.

The RP deadline is 11:59pm on Monday, September 19th. Angles should be sent to sedmunds@goucher.edu ..

09-11-05, 11:24 PM
The scene is a crowded park in Hanover, New Hampshire. People are crowded around a stage with speakers and a podium. The crowd is restless until the speakers start playing "Battle Hymn of the Republic." From the backstage area walks The Phantom Republican, flanked by two Secret Service type agents and followed by Jeffords. GOP takes his place at the podium as his guards stand watch.

GOP: It is good to be back in these United States, especially among my supporters of the Republican party here in New Hampshire.

Crowd applauds.

GOP: Even though New Hampshire was a blue state in the last Presidential election, I won't hold that against you in the crowd here, my loyal constituents. I will, however, hold it against the mouth-breathing scum who will most likely outnumber you brave, conservative souls at the arena. They are the same people who will most likely boo me like the liberal bastions of idiocy they are.

However, that shall not deter me. I have had vast experience taming the hostile crowds. In fact, my rousing successes in Canada. In fact, this one, final confrontation here in New Hampshire shall be the ultimate strike, the final battle.

You see, over the past several months, I have waged a just war to rid New Era of Wrestling of the French Canadian evildoer Jean Rabesque and his hippie partner in crime, Alistair Hayze. In that campaign, I took the fight to Rabesque in his home country. I invaded Canada, marched across it and drove Rabesque, reeling across his country into his home city. And just when he thought he was safe, I struck perhaps the climactic blow. I forced my way into the cage match and with the Masked Man at my side, I sacked the city of Montreal.

I took Rabesque's home town. I marched into hostile territory, and now Rabesque is backpedaling. I have him now where I want him. I have him here, on American soil, poised to strike like a bald eagle on an unsuspecting frog.

Everything that is dear to Rabesque has fallen thus far except for his precious New Era World Championship. But that is the jewel that is paramount to this campaign. The World Championship is in sullied hands, and it has been for over a year now. It is my God-given duty to take it back into American hands.

But not just any American hands. INto the hands of the party of leaders! The party of presidents! The party of historically great men! The party of Lincoln! Of Reagan! Of George W. Bush!

The Republican Party!

The Communists of DREDD can wait for one more week. The piddling imbeciles like Mr. Entertainment and Mark Matix aren't worth my time.

Jean Rabesque is also not worth my time under any other circumstances. But he holds what he does not deserve.

And as God is my witness, just as we struck down John Kerry and his platform of lies, just as we strengthened our hold in Congress, just as we got one of our own nominated into the office of Chief Justice... we, the Republican Party, represented by myself, The Phantom Republican, shall claim the World Championship and bring New Era of Wrestling into a new era of righteousness and conservative morality!

The crowd applauds as the scene fades to the Republican Party logo.

V/O: This message ahs been paid for by the Republican Party and the committee to crown The Phantom Republican as the New Era World Champion

09-14-05, 06:06 PM
(The crowd comes in on something far different than what we’ve just seen from The Phantom Republican, and in here there is no crowd, in fact there is no one except our cameraman, it is a locker room, and Jean Rabesque sits quietly packing up his things, a bandage is quite conspicuous on his forehead, he wears a white muscle shirt and black wind pants, he calmly looks up to the camera, and speaks, very softly)

“Well, you finally got what you wanted GOP, your match for what you think you deserve. I guess it’s safe to call this put up or shut up time. It’s just a shame that you’ve had to go to the lengths you have had to go through. The first are the outright lies that I’m some kind of Canadian Liberal slug. I know why you did it Powell, you were trying to get the attention of anyone who would listen. What better way to get the attention someone in New ERA than to come out and attack the World Champion.

“Let’s make everything clear once and for all. I have nothing against the Republican Party. I respect its members, and I respect its beliefs. It, like every other organization, has its idiots. GOP, you happen to be one of those. You ramble on endlessly about your party, and I do deeply respect that, except you don’t represent them. You go out on the street and you ask the honest, good, hard working American what they think of you, and they might get spit on. You represent nothing but the top damn 1%, having everything given to you for your entire damn life.

“That goes against everything your party goes against. They’re not one for handouts GOP, they’re not ones for taking the easy way out, but that’s exactly what you have done! You didn’t earn your part in the main event at Intrigue, you wormed your way in, it was handed to you! (Chuckles) That’s a pretty Democratic ideal, if I understand your political system correctly, isn’t it GOP? No American with the exception of the ones you pay to show up to some mock rally isn’t going to pay any attention to you, because you’re a walking talking contradiction.

“I could go on GOP, and I’m sure you’ll pull a Bill Clinton on everyone and try to mask the truth, but just like Slick Willie, everybody’s going to see through the charade. No one buys it GOP, and no one busy you as a serious wrestling contender. I’ll tell you right now, you better have the entire damn army at your disposal. Because that’s the only way you can possibly expect to beat me one on one in a wrestling match. So expect to lie, cheat, and steal GOP, more Democratic ideals I think you would call them. You better be careful, because at the rate you’re going, you’re about to compared to a man in Stamford who claims to represent Republicans, and likes to go by a three letter name. They’re not booing you because they love to hate you GOP, they’re booing just because they want you to go away.

“I guess the other interesting tidbit about your entire spiel to get to me is that you have still yet to adequately describe what I’ve done to ‘tarnish’ this belt. Yeah, I’m a Canadian, one who happens to live in the United States, I’ve never denied that. Yes, I’m proud of my heritage, but I’m also one who has nothing but respect for the great people of the United States of America. Yes, I have held this title for 14 months. Yes, I have defended this belt against absolutely anybody who has wanted a shot. Yes, I am still the longest reigning TV Champion AND World Champion this company has ever had. Yes, I actually EARN my main event PPV shots. Yes, I can actually win my matches cleanly.

“Would you like to explain to me where the tarnish comes in?

“Of course, you’ll probably just try to throw out in my politics or something of that nature. But let’s make something clear GOP. When you’re out at your little rallies with the paid actors, I’m here. When you’re out kissing babies for the photo op, I’m here. When you’re out doing everything you do, when nothing of it has to do with wrestling, I’m here. Like I said, you better have every cheating tactic you know at your disposal, because it’s the only chance you have of winning.

“Any fan you pass on the street, whether it’s in Quebec, or whether it’s in New Hampshire will tell you that if there is one man synonymous with New ERA Wrestling, it’s Jean Rabesque. Ask anybody, and they will tell you that the reason they come to the arena is to see Jean Rabesque. Ask anybody who the person that has brought the most HONOR and PRESTIGE to this company, it is Jean Rabesque.

“Face it GOP, I am the FACE of this company. I was a superstar before I came here and I have done nothing but expand that. When New ERA contacted me, they knew they needed a star to get the ship going. The World Champion is what they got, a man that took a chance on a fledgling promotion, and took it to places it never thought it would go.

(He stops and rubs the bandage on his head)

“But I’ll be honest (rubs head), it’s taking its toll. Having everyone in the company against me and one ally takes its toll. Hell, it simply means I have to step up my game even more. It means I have to rise to the challenge, and when the people who pay the money are convinced that there is no possible way I can ever get up, I rise to the challenge, and I counter whatever you and your goons have to offer GOP.

“So have fun at your little rally, you’ll know where to find me. Maybe some of the actors you hire can be in your corner.

“It’s the only chance you got.

“No false gimmicks, no false hype, I am the New ERA Heavyweight Champion, I am Jean Rabesque.”


09-15-05, 10:33 PM
"I'm so glad you know where I come from."

The scene now is campaign headquarters for The Phantom Republican. GOP sits at a table, flanked by the two guards from earlier, Jeffords at his rear.

GOP: So, it seems Mr. Rabesque seems to think he knows my upbringing. Or he sees fit that it's relevant in this matchup, at least his warped and twisted view of it.

But I guess that's how a corner-cutting French-Canadian liberal bastard does his research. I have to wonder, did you work on the Kerry campaign as a part of MoveOn.org? I'm guessing you're the one who came up with the Hitler and Bush comparisons.

Your feigned respect for the party of Presidents is a slap in the face due to your real backgrounds of hate and ignorance. You say I don't represent the party, that I've had things handed to me.

Tell me, Rabesque, did I have my title shot handed to me? NO! I defeated your hippie lackie and Chaos. Tell me, did I have my shot in the main event at International Intrigue handed to me? NO! I had a large hand in beating down Marx and tying him up backstage so that I could gain the strategic advantage in my war waged against you.

Everything I have, I have worked for. I may not have had to struggle for everything growing up. I may have had a nice upbringing, but I did not have a single thing handed to me in my life and career.

I am part of the most oppressed, most discriminated against group in this country, the white male American. You liberal pieces of garbage push your Affirmative Action and whine when minorities aren't portrayed as the bastions that uphold society on the silver screen and the television. I have survived despite being painted as the white devil in every corner of society that I've ventured into. People telling me that I'm the reason why they can't get ahead. People telling me that I'm the reason why women are viewed as sex objects. People telling me that I'm the reason why there are a disproportionate number of black NFL head coaches in the league.

Yet, I have survived... no, EXCELLED. I've schooled all those ignorant little liberal pissants and shown them how you work to get ahead.

And you are the most ignorant of them all. Thinking, no, deluding yourself into believing that I was handed everything and that you will defeat me because I've never worked a day in my life.

And that's where you're wrong.

That's why I will win the war.

That's why I've won every major battle in this war. I decimated your hippie commandant. I made you look like a fool in debate in your own country. And I sacked your hometown.

I'm the United States. You're Spain. Only the New Era World Heavyweight Championship is worth much more than those filthy Philippine Islands ever will. And while Spain was able to continue existing as a pitiful excuse of a nation after they were trounced, well, you'll be lucky to be jerking the curtain at the next edition of Rapture.

Your title reign is over, Rabesque. Your career as you know it is over, Rabesque.

And when Raucous is finished, the Republican Party will not only be known as the Party of Presidents, but as the Party of Champions as well.

Fade to the Republican Party logo.

09-18-05, 11:24 PM
(The screen comes in on the gold, the New ERA World Heavyweight Championship belt, as the camera slowly moves away, we see the champion Jean Rabesque, dressed in the normal gear, standing in an empty studio, with the exception of a television set over his left shoulder, upon this television set is the most recent spot from The Phantom Republican, cued and paused, Rabesque pauses, cracks a slight smile, and speaks)

“And yes, ladies and gentlemen, the hits just keep on coming. You would think that a man that professes that this title belt I carry right now is the biggest thing to American national security could at least come up with something better than that. Or at least something coherent. But no, again, we are treated to the one and only Phantom Republican’s Non-Sensical Ramblings. So GOP, I’ve put together a greatest hits package that I feel we should analyze together..... just to make sure I’m absorbing everything you’re trying to tell me.”

(Rabesque hits play with a remote on the VCR, CUTTO: The Phantom Republican speaking on the monitor)

“But I guess that's how a corner-cutting French-Canadian liberal bastard does his research. I have to wonder, did you work on the Kerry campaign as a part of MoveOn.org? I'm guessing you're the one who came up with the Hitler and Bush comparisons.”

(Back to Rabesque)

“So there you go again, tying, or at least attempting to, something that has absolutely NOTHING to do with wrestling into this match. And again I ask you, have I ever once said anything about my political affiliation? And my favorite part of the whole thing is, after you use that kind of analogy to describe my position on things, you go on to VERIFY that what I said was correct, but we’ll get back to that later. For now, there’s more, MUCH MORE!”

(To the monitor)

“Tell me, Rabesque, did I have my title shot handed to me? NO! I defeated your hippie lackie and Chaos. Tell me, did I have my shot in the main event at International Intrigue handed to me? NO! I had a large hand in beating down Marx and tying him up backstage so that I could gain the strategic advantage in my war waged against you.”

(To Rabesque)

“So again, let me get this straight. You feel that you beating down Jonathan Marx FROM BEHIND...... BACKSTAGE...... BEFORE THE EVENT is you EARNING IT??? And you call me the corner-cutter? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You try to use that as a reason to justify yourself EARNING a match in the main event? ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOURSELF???

“That is the absolute biggest load of crap I have ever heard in my life! Yeah, you lucked yourself into a match, and yes here you go. The biggest match of YOUR life..... another day at the office for me. But again, why should I continue to talk to make my points.... you do it well enough for me.”

(Back to the monitor)

“Everything I have, I have worked for. I may not have had to struggle for everything growing up. I may have had a nice upbringing, but I did not have a single thing handed to me in my life and career.”

(To Rabesque)

“You didn’t have to struggle, but nothing was handed to you? Yeah, that makes perfect sense GOP, keep in going.”

“I am part of the most oppressed, most discriminated against group in this country, the white male American.”


“Well, since I now maintain dual citizenship, I guess that includes me as well. It’s a shame too, I don’t really feel very oppressed. And now for the coup de gras.


“I'm the United States. You're Spain. Only the New Era World Heavyweight Championship is worth much more than those filthy Philippine Islands ever will.”


“ARE YOU F’N KIDDING ME??? Hey buddy, check yourself right now, and let’s work a reality check into the equation. This is NOT a war. And to be honest, myself and a lot of people get really offended at you hinting that it is. A war is what the brave men and women of the United States are doing right now over in The Middle East. You most of all should know that!

“It is however a wrestling match, and it’s going to be one that people are going to remember for some time. It’s going to be the match that the World Champion absolutely dismantles the guy who thinks he’s a hell of a lot more important than he really is. The guy who got his one chance for glory and watched it all slip away. The guy who piggy-backed on Stamford’s character on an attempt to get gold. And he’ll be remembered for having about the same about of wrestling ability.

“You catching my drift GOP? The fact of the matter is you obviously have NO CLUE what you’re in for. You have NO CLUE of the pain that awaits you. WHY? Because you can’t wrestle. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

“Don’t believe me? I think you’ll find that the New Hampshire Primary isn’t going to go your way!

“No false gimmicks, no false hype, I am and will remain to be the New ERA World Heavyweight Champion, I am Jean Rabesque.”


09-20-05, 12:23 PM
Still at campaign headquarters...

GOP: It's all clear now, Rabesque.

The reason why you will fail to win this war is because you have deluded yourself into think that it isn't a war. You don't understand the critical nature, yet it is par for the course.

You continue to plod along, believing that you're in the right, that somehow, because you got through some bureaucratic red tape, that you're an American. Right, you expect me to buy that when the Democrats will hand anyone their American citizenship if they can fill out enough paperwork.

Well, filling out a bunch of forms doesn't make you American. Being born here, having no allegiance to any country but this one, that makes you American. You can't be a dual citizen. You can't have allegiance to two countries, especially when one of them is like the bastard stepchild of the family. How can you have loyalty to a country that in its collective heart is jealous of America and wishes that America would fail and claim to have loyalty to America at the same time? The fact is, you can't. You're a liar, Rabesque, and on top of that, you believe your lies as truth.

You believe it when you tell yourself that if you don't struggle, you have everything handed to you. Laughable. Don't you know you don't have to struggle to earn everything through hard work? Everything I have now, I have worked hard for.

You, however, your World Title run is a sham. You were handed two long layoffs, which I am almost positive that you had engineered yourself, just to pad your time as being the Champion. What kind of Champion does that? I'll tell you.

A liberal!

Liberals don't want to get their hands dirty. They want to claim they do it for the working man, yet they haven't worked a day in their lives. Have you ever noticed who goes to all these protests? Not Republicans. Why?

Because Republicans usually have jobs!

We work! We slave, and what do we get? Scorn from the hippies like your lackey Hayze and mocking from slugs like yourself. But we also get results.

I destroyed Marx before the main event at International Intrigue. You may call it cutting corners or hypocrisy, but you wouldn't have done the same thing to get your ends. No, you would have had LaRoque put the company on another three month hiatus just so you could refrain from hurting your little hamstring muscle or breaking a fingernail doing some heavy lifting.

But I, no, I wouldn't do that. I didn't do that. I got my hands dirty. And I took out that Communist just so I could get a chance to get my hands on you and soften you up before now.

And I did just that.

Now, I will come to end this war, end the war that you don't even think is a war. But when I take the New Era World Championship from you, you'll certainly cry bloody murder and call for a war to get it back.

But it will be too late. Because when I'm done with you, I'm leaving you for our masked friend. I have bigger fish to fry.

Like restoring prestige to this Championship. And ridding New Era of Communists.

Fade to the Republican Party logo.