View Full Version : I Wanna Be Sedated

06-30-05, 03:22 PM
This was my intro RP to Core Wrestling, I figure its a good representation of my character. He is about to be put into a big battle royale for the Classic Title I think.


Meet Ned.

Ned lives in his parents’ basement. Ned smokes too much and eats too little. He watches to much TV and is socially inept. He watches CNN all day long. He constantly believes that the media is trying to slip a veil over his eyes, I don’t know where he gets that idea.

He is supposed to be a wrestler, but at first look, you could easily mistake him for the Core Janitor. No, on second thought he doesn’t even look like he could be a Janitor, he looks more like the janitors lackey. He wears an old “Alec Ozgoode is Cool” tee shirt that he most likely got for free with Alec having to buy up the surplus after promising his shirt supplier that the stores would sell out in days.

Ned sits on a stained old recliner that no longer reclines. The room is pretty bare, the floor is that of a regular basement floor cold, hard, and gray. The walls are those panel type of walls, you know that tacky fake wood look. There is a mattress on the floor with a comforter rolled up on top of it. The rest of the room consists of a small wooden box beside the chair, a beanbag, and a TV on another wooden box. There is a ceiling fan on the, yep you guessed it, ceiling. The lights that hang below it gives off poor lighting for the dark room.

He rocks back and forth holding a cigarette close to his mouth staring at the screen, the amazing thing is, he has on something other then CNN. He sits staring at a commercial for Core Wrestling’s upcoming Pay-Per-View: Ringmaster. He mumbles a bit to himself before taking a long drag on his cigarette.

Just then you can hear a door open and footsteps coming down the stairs. Alec Ozgoode, the manager, then comes into view. He has a gleeful look upon his face as usual. He is going for his usual casual look wearing an open red/white flannel with a green tee shirt on below it. His pants loose, not “thug” loose, but loose. He wears some older tan boots that remain untied and an Eagles hat on his head.

Alec: Ned, my man! You see the news?

Ned looks at Alec like he needs to be smacked for his cheerful outlook on things. He replies in a monotone voice.

Ned: Yes…

Alec: Well, I am definitely going to get some ladies with you winning a title, I mean just think about it, the kid I brought into the game…a champion! Oooohhh! I am gonna get some major game with this stuff.

Ned: Kid? I’m 3 f[bleep]in years older than your illiterate ass.

Alec waves at Ned in that sort of blowing him off way.

Alec: Don’t bore me with your logic. Technicalities never stood in my way.

Ned: Yeah neither did statistics, what were you 2-20?

Alec: Meh, we need to focus on your career.

Ned: No! What we need to focus on is this itch I’m starting to get on my back, I think it might be a rash. I told you that public bathrooms in Texas were not to be trusted but noo do you ever listen to me?! Now look at me I probably got some rare skin disease that is going to take years of treatment and give me excruciating pain, and just so you know, I blame you.

Alec pays no attention to his friend’s complaints as usual. He takes a seat on the bean bag and watches more of the PPV preview channel, the Ringmaster preview is over and a preview for the Chalie Kaufman movie “Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind” comes on.

Alec: You know that Kirsten Dunst looks fabulous in some movies, and then in other, just does nothing for me. I bet if you win that belt I could get a date with her.

Ned is near irate as his friend babbles on about his masturbationary wants.

Ned: How can you be talking about some ***** when I could have a serious life altering disease over here!

Alec: Oh, stop your complaining I took a **** in there too.

Ned: You know I have a low immune system.

Alec: No, actually I didn’t when you decide this?

Ned: Decide this? Decide this?! The other day when I went outside and petted a dog, I was coughing for hours.

Alec gestures towards Ned’s cigarette.

Alec: Yeah , I bet that was because of that dog.

Ned: Don’t blame my smoking, you always want to bring a man down just cause he likes to relax and enjoy one of the few things that the government still gives the regular man the ability to enjoy. Those bastards say this is a free country and then try and outlaw the drugs that can relax me. I mean I need to go and talk to some f[bleep]ing shrink once a week just to be able to receive the medications that I need to live a normal life.

Alec: Normal life…yeah…you live in your parents bedroom, and you were, until recently, a 22 year old high school junior, real normal.

Ned: Don’t bash my lifestyle because I don’t conform to the American ideals of going and checking into some office everyday losing a bit more of my soul every time.

Alec: Yeahhh, talking about therapists…aren’t you running late.

Ned: Oh, yeah, I need a ride.

Alec: You need a license.

Ned: You need to be a manager and give me a f[bleep]ing RIDE!

Alec: Fine…let’s bounce…

Ned: Let’s bounce?

Alec: Yeah, I’ve been listening to some Public Enemy lately..

Ned: You do know who "The Power" is that Chuck D. wants to fight right?

Alec: Meh, whatever, let’s go.

Alec and Ned then get up to leave as Ned slips into some old nasty looking Adidas.

The scene fades out.


The scene fades back in.

We are now with Ned at an office. Ned lays on a sofa as a man in an ugly looking Cosby sweater and dockers sits in a chair parallel to him scribbling some stuff down into a notepad, probably doodling a picture or something. No one takes Ned’s complaints seriously, they just give the medications he says that he needs and gives him the hour necessary to do so.

We seem to be just catching in on the middle of a story that Ned was telling his therapist.

Ned: …So, I finally get to the check out line and this morbidly obese woman stands in front of me. You know, I know I’m a dick and everything, but fat people are just disgusting. I mean they are all bouncy in all the wrong places, and they never seem to be able to clean themselves properly. They just have that fat person stench to them. Plus, have you ever noticed that line of dirt or something they have on the back of their neck, Its like just in between the rolls of fat that are stacked up there like they can’t move that sick excess packet of fat and wash under it too. It’s just wrong, fat people should get their own places to go.

The therapist nods obviously not paying any attention to Ned’s rants.

Therapist: And…how does that make you feel?

Ned is a bit confused by the question, but he replies none the less.

Ned: What do you mean how does that make me feel? How do you think, you dumbass! I feel f[bleep]ing repulsed by it. I just can’t understand how a person could let themselves be that disgusting, have they never gave the option of suicide a chance. It’s not that I condone people taking the easy way out or nothing, but for some it’s just f[bleep]ing necessary.

The therapist nods once more with a fake sort of concerned look on his face although you can see his disinterest in his eyes.

Therapist: And then what happened?

Ned stares up towards the ceiling recalling the events.

Ned: Oh, after I stared at the back of that lady’s neck for about 15 minute she finally got fed up and waddled away. Then I was introduce to the nice asshole in front of her, this dude was a joke. I asked him if he knew the time and he came back with some smug ass remark and I told him to not be a dick, well this didn’t go over very well. He got all huffy puffy about it. But, I told him that I came to him with a legitimate question and he was the one that had to get all ****ty about it, so he shouldn’t be a dick. He obviously then went to the other checkout aisle which amazingly enough I think might have been a longer line, but went faster.

Therapist: Mhm…

Ned: Well then, after waiting for god knows how many hours I finally get to the cashier. Oh, and could they find a woman with at least a quasi functional brain to check me out just one f[bleep]ing time? I give her my stuff and after about 20 tries she can finally figure out how to use the god damn machine she is paid to use. The woman then looks at me and starts telling me about all these hot new specials and what she recommends to get from the store, like I could care. So, you know I try to stay decent and smile and nod. As she still is trying to figure out how to give me correct change some co-worker comes up and hits on her or something I wasn’t really paying attention, but after he leaves the girl wants to turn and talk about it with me. She asks me for my opinion on how to politely tell her superior that she has no feelings for him. I mean what the hell? Do I look like Dr. f[bleep]ing Phil over here handing out advice left and right, I don’t know where people come of thinking that anyone, but themselves give a f[bleep]k about their small irrelevant problems. I know how these people get the nerve to just come out and start telling there life f[bleep]ing story to a complete stranger. Oh, but she was far from done there! Then, she started telling me about her wonderful boyfriend and how much she loves them while all I can do is stare at the register praying the receipt would print out faster. That’s when I knew what kind of person she was. She was one of those people who needed to cling to there significant other to give themselves the illusion that they were somewhat important when they….

The therapist can’t take anymore of this continuance rant about nothing near relevant. The therapist glances at his watch and cuts him short of the story and the session by about twenty minutes.

Therapist: Well, Mr. Jennings, it looks like that’ll be it for today.

Ned sits up happy that he can finally get out of this place with all of his “needed” medications with him.

Ned: Ah, great then, medication time…

The therapist gives Ned that fake smile looking thing.

Therapist: Oh, sorry no, I don’t believe that I can give you these medications any longer, I don’t believe that you have any real problems it seems to me to be more of a figment of your own imagination.

Ned gets that “deer in the head lights” look as soon as he realize that yet another doctor was going to refuse him service.

Ned: What?…

Therapist gives him that fake smile once more as he begins to get up from the chair. Ned is becoming more and more agitated.

Ned: No, No, NO! I come into this place every f[bleep]ing week I talk to you for an hour, then you give me medications, don’t f[bleep]k with the program!

The therapist hits a button and calls for security. They come in quickly and escort Ned out the door, not of his free will.

The scene fades.


The scene fades back in.

Ned is once again in his basement, he seems a bit more off than usual. He is rocking a bit faster and a little bit more uncontrollably. An ashtray beside him is full to the brim. The TV now is only constantly playing the Classic Championship spot over and over again, lucky he has TiVo huh?

The door opens once again and coming down the stairs is Ned’s manager Alec Ozgoode, once again. He is wearing the same as he did before. As he enters into the basements he takes a look at his disgruntled friend and is a little shocked, just a little.

Alec: What wrong….oh, another doctor say no, huh.

Ned just nods as he takes a fast hard hit of his cigarette. Alec takes a look at the TV to see the TiVo replaying Ned’s preview for his match.

Alec: Ah, yes, not getting cold feet are we?

Ned looks at Alec like he wants to snap his neck.

Ned: Cold feet?! Cold feet?! I don’t even know how to f[bleep]king wrestle and you think that I have “cold feet” you’re a prick.

Alec: Come on, you wrestled back on the JV squad with me. You’ll be great

Ned: Oh you can’t be serious, you are trying to compare these professional athletes with the clowns back in high school?

Alec: Listen man, I’ve been around good wrestlers long enough to know that it doesn’t matter how good you are in the ring, it’s all about the trash talk.

Ned: Trash talk?

Alec: Yeah man, you got to be able to demean your opponent and demoralize him before the match so he will not be to the best of his game. You know insult him.

Ned: Won’t that just get them pissed off?

Alec: Listen man, I’m your manager, I know what I’m doing.

Ned just shrugs it off.

Alec: Okay, well there are six people, I think you should address them all separately and offend them one at a time.

Ned nods as Alec continues.

Alec: Okay, well one is Tim Shipley, say something that would make people think poorly of Tim Shipley…

Ned stops rocking and takes one last drag of the cigarette which looks like it could have been lighting the filter on fire already.

Ned: Okay…well…uh…Tim Shipley you are a really bad person!!

Alec: No, no, come on do something personal.

Ned: But I don’t know anything personal about him.

Alec: Uhh, make something up, I think he is in college.

Ned: Okay, well Tim Shipley…you are going to fail PE!

Alec: What?

Ned: Come on you know only retards fail PE.

Alec: I don’t think they have PE in college.

Ned: They don’t?

Alec: I don’t think so…

Ned: Oh…

Alec: Let’s just move on to the next person shall we…

Ned: Ok…

Alec watches the TV once again trying to pick up a name.

Alec: Well, there is Corey Marshall…he’s another new guy.

Ned: Think he knows how to wrestle?

Alec: Probably.

Ned: Damn…ok. Well, Corey Marshall, I’m going to go off and beat you and then your going to be Corey Deputy!

Alec: Lame.

Ned: Really I thought that was clever.

Alec: It wasn’t.

Ned: Oh, ok. Well, do you know anything else about him other than his name?

Alec: Not really…

Ned: Oh, yeah, great manager…

Alec: Uh….let’s just move on.

Alec scans the TiVo once again, getting too repetitive yet?

Alec: Well, there is some JVL guy, Justin…VL. He’s seems like the self pity type.

Ned: Oh, I was talking to my therapist about this…

Alec: Okay, Ned, first rule….

Ned looks over to Alec who had just interrupted him.

Alec: Never….and I mean NE-E-EEEVER, bring up the fact that you have to see a therapist when you are trying to trash someone, in fact, just to no tempt you, we will skip him as well.

Ned: But I can really bring this guy down…


Ned nods at complying with his manager.

Alec: Ok, now, there is my personal favorite for the match, Veronica Paige..

Ned: What? You are my manager and your favorite is Veronica Paige?

Alec: She has a killer ass I can’t help it.

Ned: You are fired.

Alec: You can’t fire me, you won’t have a ride anywhere…

Ned: True…ok, well …

Alec: Well, back to me talking about Veronica. Veronica, baby, sugar pie, my number is 555-5837 just so if you know want to give me a call maybe we can get a little one on one sparring match going on. I can show you my style of the figure-four body lock.

Alec throws in some cheesy winks at the camera as he cheaply hits on the Core star.

Ned: So am I suppose to trash her too?

Alec: Of course not, that’s another skip…

Ned: You know for this being the most important part of wrestling we are skipping a lot.

Alec: Don’t question me. Manager knows best. Ok, the last person is the current champion Brian Wes. I do know a little something about this man though.

Ned: Oh really what is that?

Alec: His blood type it A, and he has blue eyes.

Ned: What?!

Alec: I never claimed it to be useful information.

Ned: Well….then, um….Brain Wes, I’m going to take your type A blood and your belt right in front of those blue eyes!

Ned throws in some hand movements to try and emphasize his “scariness”.

Ned: So, uh, how was that?

Alec: Uh…we better go teach you how to wrestle…

The scene then fades to black.