View Full Version : MAIN EVENT - Tag Team Mania: Payne / Hayze v MWG / Marx

05-23-05, 02:44 AM
All RP for the main event TAG TEAM MANIA match between JASON PAYNE / ALISTER HAYZE and MWG / JONATHAN MARX at RAUCOUS should be done in this folder. Any RP posted outside of the folder will not count.

The RP deadline is 11:59pm on Monday, May 30th. Angles should be sent to secandido@comcast.net ..

Jason Payne
05-26-05, 05:24 PM
The setting, a busy sidewalk in Louisville Kentucky. Jason Payne is making his way out of an office building on Third Street and heading across the street to a Subway® restaurant. As he enters the establishment, his cel phone rings. The ring tone is that of his entrance music, "Dogs of War", by Pink Floyd. Payne pulls the cell phone from his hip as he walks up to the counter.

Payne - "Yeah? Hey! How you doing man? I'm glad you called."

The clerk, a cute little brunette who couldn't be more than seventeen smiles at Payne as she pulls on some clear plastic gloves.

Clerk - "Welcome to Subway®, what can I get for you?"

Payne looks from the menu to the clerk, obviously not really paying attention to her, but more interested in who is on the phone.

Payne - "Yeah? Yeah hold on a second man. Yeah, footlong steak and cheese on white. So anyway, did you see the upcoming Raucous lineup? Yeah, I know. Crazy isn't it? Huh? Oh, wait a sec man. American cheese thanks."

Payne moves down the front of the queue as the clerk prepares his sandwich.

Payne - "Hayze? No I'm not worried about him. We've not seen eye to eye before, but I'm willing to trust him. Sides, he hates Em just as much, if not more so, than I do. Yeah, well Marx should be interesting. I'm wondering if he got a new limo after I smashed the other one with a tank a few weeks ago."

Payne chuckles as the clerk looks up from making the sandwich to give Payne an odd look as he mentions crushing limos with tanks. Payne's gaze meets hers and she quickly goes back to making the sandwich.

Payne - "Well we'll see won't we? I tell you right now, and you should know better than anyone that Em hasn't yet seen the worst of what I can do. And Marx and the rest of his DREDD entourage had better be on high alert also because I haven't forgottten about them sticking thier nose in my business a while back. If DREDD thinks that the limo thing was my payback for what happened, then they are sadly mistaken."

The clerk smiles and looks at Payne again, trying not to look uncomfortable.

Clerk - "Any veggies today sir?"

Payne looks back up at the clerk, and then down to the vegetables behind the counter.

Payne - "Hold on man. Yeah lettuce, green peppers, and pickles. Okay I'm back. Yeah I'm grabbing a bite to eat before I head off to the airport. I have some personal appearances for New Frontier that I signed on to do over the weekend. Anyways, you gonna watch this week? Cool. Huh? Em? I'm not worried about him. He thinks he is still the champ even though I pinned his shoulders to the mat. I don't know how the ref could count my shoulders out as well. But oh well. I ain't worried too much about it. I get my hands on him this week, and he is going to get a small taste of what I can do to him at International Intrigue.

Payne makes his way to the end of the counter where the clerk hands him his sandwich. Payne reaches into his pocket and flips out a ten dollar bill and hands it to the clerk. Receiving his change, he makes his way to a window seat and sits, unwrapping his sandwich.

Payne - Alright bro I'm gonna let you go. I'll give you a call again in a few days. I talked to the management about possibly getting you back on the active roster and they sounded pretty receptive. Based on the crowds response to you, I'd say its a good shot you have of getting back in a ring. Alright bro, I'll talk to you again soon. Alright. Later Chris."

Payne clicks the phone off and sets it down to the side as he finishes unwrapping his sandwich. Taking the first six inch section of his sandwich and taking a bite out of it, Payne turns to look out the open window and across the street. FTB

05-26-05, 06:16 PM
(CUEUP: “What do they know?” by Mindless Self Indulgence….)
(CUTTO: Cliché, unoriginal, NEW Banner logo promo…We’re seeing a triangle of strange characters here. An aloof KRIST BLUE stands off to the right in a catholic school girl outfit with the first couple of blouse buttons undone, compulsively chewing gum, and playing with her pigtails…The incorporeal GHOST OF ALESITER CROWLEY stands off to the left, looking solemn and enlightened in his big red robe and big goofy hat with the little triangle on it….In the foreground, there’s MWG, also looking solemn and thoughtful…despite his apparel, a new pink zebra stripe trenchcoat, neon blue mini skirt, FAG POWER T-shirt cut up Stevie Richards style, black lipstick and eye shadow, purple blush, taking sporadic quick drags off a cigarette…)

“The IT Boy”
“the American Idol”
“The Hardcore Legend”
“The Reality TeeVee Champion”
“the Surreal…”

EMDUBBAYAGEE: Okeee….Y’know what? I admit it. Ah’ma sh(bleep)t talker. I’m a touch self aggrandizing. Maybe a little self absorbed. Maybe a little melodramatic. Maybe I fall back on my pension of the theatrical a wiiiidle too much. Maybe I AM overcompensating….S’not my fault, really. They call me a mediocre worker on online message boards. They haven’t the faintest what they’re talking about….But how am I *not* supposed to care what people think?...

And, s’like, y’know, how Steven Dorf said it….So F(bleep)king what?

Does all that make moi a bad person? Does all that mean I deserve to have MY TEEVEE title, my darling lovely title, taken from me for NO reason?! Do you people understand what I shared with that title belt?! Right around 4 AM, three nights out of the week, semi-conscious, with a bottle of astroglide and a few old John Stamos pin ups? After all the years I’ve pissed away with this company, after all I’ve sacrificed…Oh sure, I could’ve gone to WFW or NFW…I would’ve made more money. I could’ve been a star. I COULD’VE BEEN A F(BLEEP)KING STAR….

BLUE: I thought you said NFW already has a token gay guy, and WFW can’t afford you?

MWG: But what about Hollywood?!?!?

GHOST OF CROWLEY: Hollywood didn’t want you.

MWG: It’s because I’m gay, isn’t it?!?!?

CROWLEY: Yes. And too old. Also, you’re a terrible actor.

MWG: (reflects on this, stomps his cigarette out on the floor, and lights another one.) Ergh!! This is all the fault of people like YOU, Jason Payne. People with REALLY REALLY STUPID NAMES, who won’t take me seriously because I’m so odd…Do I mystify you, JayPay? Do I allure you and repulse you at the same time? Like when you think about your sexy cousin?....Is that why you couldn’t beat me?

For all your macho bravado…for all your calling up your mincing crappy ole tag team partner to give a reach around…For all your ignoring the advances of hot little teenage girls, cuz you’re SO heterosexual, you’re more interested in talking about dominating a man in a dress and eating a phallic sandwich …all that…and it took nothing more than me shifting my tight little buns jeeeeest the right way…and you blew your load, darling. One squirt…(Crowley raises a finger) two squirts…(Crowley raises two fingers)…Three squirts…(Three fingers) Got all excited in your inexperienced overzealousness…Made you blush.

Too late to pull out, too far gone to salvage the operation. Shame on you. You were a sh(bleep)y f(bleep), JayPay. EYE WON. I REVERSED YOUR MOVE AND EYE WON....And they took my f(bleep)king belt anyway.

(stomps out the second cigarette, and lights another one) No justice for the nasty villous type of person, I suppose. I’ve done…questionable things. But like I said, It’s not that I’m this horrible person. I love puppies and kittens! I give free fashion advice! I helped ah…whichever Olsen twin it was who had the thing with the blow…I helped nurture her back to health…I have feelings!! I cry!!! I cry on camera, like, all the time!!! So I’ve got a Dionysian temperament…and numerous other character flaws….

I still don’t deserve this sh(bleep), and I *definitely* don’t deserve this sh(bleep) from a corporate whore, microwaved meat eating dickface like you.

BLUE: Don’t forget, he called me fat.


BLUE: I’m like…soooo not fat.

MWG: Soooooo not fat!!!

BLUE: Jason Payne like, totally wants to rail me.

MWG: Totally.

BLUE: But he CAN’T. Cuz he’s ugly, AND cuz he called me fat. Also, he’s gay. But not in the fun party boy way Em is gay. And that’s pretty lame.

MWG: Wicked serious ass. (new cigarette) And it’s…ugh…soooo played out…the whole “You can’t intimidate me by saying how badly you’re going to beat me up, cuz I’ve already been beaten up by MUCH bigger and MUCH badder than you, and I kinda liked it, so ha.” But wowee f(bleep)king zowee, it’s every single time out, no matter how many times I try to explain it to people…

Look, JayPay, my snug little bunghole, I’m going to talk very slowly here so you can understand…mkay? Now….If…You…Drop…Me…On…My…Skull….I ….Won’t….Care….If…you…bend…my…legs …the…wrong…way…I…won’t….care…If… you…hit….me….with….a…chair….I….won t…care….If….you…powerbomb…me….through …a…table….I….won’t….care….If…you set…me….on….fire….and….toss….me….of f….a….3…story…building….still…won’t care….

Much of my life has been dedicated to exterminating physical taboos, JayPay. There is NOTHING you can do to me that hasn’t been done a thousand times before…Someone like you could never frighten me. You’ve managed to get on my b!tchy side, and that’s all…

Ontha otha hand…you certainly are esssscared of me. Ain’tcha muffin? Hate is SUCH a loaded word. Rarely used unless one feels truly threatened…And I thought EYE was the drama queen and you were the nonchalant type. But I was wrong. You’re the sensitive, reactionary emotional type too…I like that. Means I might get to see your cry after all.

And then, y’know, me beating up Aleister Hayze is like…soooooo 2003. I su’pose s’like…appropriate, or something, that he’s aligned with Jean Rabesque now. Cuz y’know. I’ve made both of them my little pony on any number of occasions. One metaphorically, one metaphorically AND literally….So where’s my world title shot, eh? Not ONLY have I BEATEN Jean Rabesque in a wrestling match, but I’ve had sex with him like a million times….Meanwhile, I get SCAMMED, Bret Hart style, right out of the TeeVee title….and a luchadore Nazi gets pushed right to the top of the card for doing zilch?

And some people wonder why everyone says this show sucks.

BLUE: I don’t.


MWG: At least I got teamed up with Jonathan Marx. He’s pretty, AND he can like, so totally throw down.

CROWLEY: Right. You’d know, cuz last time you saw him, he ***** slapped yer mascara right off…

MWG: Well ah…yeah, but doubtlessly he’s forgotten whatever things I might’ve said in the heat of the moment back then. And now he’ll be my friend, and help me turn Jason Payne into my own personal cum dumpster, Squealin’ to the tune of Faggot!! ffffffFaggot!!!

GHOST OF ALEISTER CROWLEY: (points an accusing finger at the camera) Faggot!!

06-02-05, 10:46 PM
::Marx, Jacobos, and Domovoi are walking out of a crowded movie theater::

DOMOVOI: I don't get it. How could you do Revenge of the Seth without Seth Green? That is just false advertising.

BRANDON JACOBS: He probably was off filming new episodes of "Greg the Bunny" or another Austin Powers movie.

DOMOVOI: He certainly would have put up more of a fight than Hayden Christensen did. That ****ing *****...

JONATHAN MARX: First off, it is Revenge of the S-I-T-H, not Revenge of the S-E-T-H.

DOMOVOI: What the hell is a Sith?

JONATHAN MARX: Evil disgruntled Jedi.

BRANDON JACOBS: Sort of like Rabesque.

DOMOVOI: That still just change the fact that Darth Vader is as big of a chump as Jason Payne and Alister Hayze and Obi Wan left him uglier than Madonna Wayne Grossard.

BRANDON JACOBS: DREDD did disfigured Hayze’s pretty boy looks by cutting that hippie hair of his.

JONATHAN MARX: Darth Vader isn’t a chump though, he just had a bad day. Yes, he clearly was more powerful than Obi Wan, but he didn’t have the know how yet that Obi Wan did to know how to use his powers.

DOMOVOI: The fight wasn’t even close though, he had all of his limbs severed except his arm and he face was so badly burned that he could beat Lindsay Troy in an ugly contest.

BRANDON JACOBS: Payne’s car did look better after it was burned than Anakin did.

JONATHAN MARX: Regardless of how badly Darth Vader was beaten, he is still one of the greatest villains of alltime. He was the man who struck fear into the heart of a universe and helped wipe out all of the Jedi in existence except for Yoda and Obi Wan. Hell, he beat Samuel Jackson and then went to the temple himself and wiped out all of the young Jedi himself. How can he not be a badass?

DOMOVOI: I still say he should have gotten more offense in.

JONATHAN MARX: Plus, another thing working against Anakin was he was the one who let his emotions gets the best of him just like Payne & Hayze have for our upcoming match. They are the ones looking for payback for what DREDD has done and I’ll be waiting for them like Obi Wan was cool and collectively. Except unlike Obi Wan, when Grossard and I see the kill in sight, we finish off the job. We won’t let Hayze & Payne come back to haunt us. I’ll make Doe proud even though he can’t be here to stand by me.

DOMOVOI: Are you sure you can get along with Grossard?

JONATHAN MARX: I don't care if they team with with the Jabba the Hun, we are going to kick their bums like the wookies they are.

BRANDON JACOBS: May the force be with you.